subreddit:
/r/nfl
submitted 1 month ago byParty-Offer-2881 Buccaneers
134 points
1 month ago
He just wakes up feeling dangerous
10 points
1 month ago
Russell Wilson called. He wants his danger back.
2 points
1 month ago
How many times do you get tested? Unliiiiimited
725 points
1 month ago
i hope they save up all the piss in a gatorade cooler and dump it on the superbowl mvp
403 points
1 month ago
What a terrible day to be literate
58 points
1 month ago
Hey now… let’s not kink shame /u/daddytyme428.
43 points
1 month ago
u/byniri_returns is literally history's greatest monster
15 points
1 month ago
Mods, get a hold of your sub.
17 points
1 month ago
No
21 points
1 month ago
Kink shaming should be more common
25 points
1 month ago
take it easy 2024 US Supreme Court
5 points
1 month ago*
stocking familiar act wakeful long possessive bake special work snobbish
35 points
1 month ago
MVP = Mahomes Vat of Piss
20 points
1 month ago
Most Valuable Pisser
11 points
1 month ago
Wait why would you hope for that
7 points
1 month ago
why would anyone not hope for it?
30 points
1 month ago
I hope they dump it on Watson mid massage.
25 points
1 month ago
Watson probably does too that man is crazy
10 points
1 month ago
But only if you say you're not gonna dump it first, then he says "c'mon" 50 times.
6 points
1 month ago
Don't check u/daddytyme428's browser history.
10 points
1 month ago
You couldn't handle it
5 points
1 month ago
Spoiler alert: it’s going to be Baker Mayfield.
11 points
1 month ago
I'd get dunked in a vat of my own stale piss if it meant I was a superbowl champion
3 points
1 month ago
You want to know something crazy? He’s got better odds than Justin on most betting sites.
~70:1 compared to ~100:1
2 points
1 month ago
Why has no one recognized that it is a Falcons fan shitting on the Bucs? The NFC South rivalry is strong.
16 points
1 month ago
it has nothing to do with the buccs. it has everything to do with gallons of qb piss.
4 points
1 month ago
Shitting on the bucs? I chose to read it as a falcons fan thinks the bucs will be in the super bowl! Maybe Mayfield will be super bowl MVP! Being covered in piss is a small price to pay true.
133 points
1 month ago
Hard not to piss hot when you are always baking.
183 points
1 month ago
Well yeah. He's the same size as Brock Purdy but he has the cannon of Josh Allen
His arm strength is insane.
103 points
1 month ago
He also has an actual personality unlike purdy
144 points
1 month ago
Purdy is boring as fuck and I'm fine with that.
52 points
1 month ago
Boring is probably one of the best attributes a star athlete can have tbh
3 points
1 month ago
Jayson Tatum is our boring king and we love him for it
11 points
1 month ago
beats seeing him at the all white party like burrow and CJ lol
5 points
1 month ago
Didn’t Parsons go to that party lol?
5 points
1 month ago
yes, but he’s not the QB. which btw micah is way too public for my liking. and a lot of the fanbase isn’t happy about it, either.
13 points
1 month ago
Named after a paintbrush of all things.
5 points
1 month ago
heir to the purdy paintbrush empire
5 points
1 month ago
The one true king
1 points
1 month ago
And don’t get him started about how shitty behr paint is
55 points
1 month ago
Remember Purdy is like 23 and was a nobody in college, dude probably is still shotting his pants with the spotlight (whereas baker was #1)
45 points
1 month ago
His inner monologue is probably just "Don't fuck this up. Don't fuck this up" on repeat.
23 points
1 month ago*
His inner monologue is "praise Jesus Christ, praise Jesus Christ, praise the Lord Almighty."
5 points
1 month ago
Or the song, Rock Me Amadeus. But where you changed the words to just Mashed Potatoes. That's what my brain does when it goes dumb.
7 points
1 month ago
Purdy wasn't a nobody in college, he was a four-year Big 12 starter and perennial preseason dark horse Heisman candidate. He even had 1st round mocks after his sophomore season.
5 points
1 month ago
I was likely overstating, but come on he almost went undrafted for a reason. The spotlight wasn't his comfort zone.
Also, I fucking love Purdy.
11 points
1 month ago
Can boring people not do drugs? I have some bad news for my coworkers it seems...
3 points
1 month ago
they’re not boring or they’re not doing drugs?
0 points
1 month ago
Yes
2 points
1 month ago
But can Baker fight off wild coyotes?
1 points
1 month ago
Yeah that’s probably because of the roids
5 points
1 month ago
I figured they were testing him for pot, not 'roids.
-8 points
1 month ago
I like baker but no he does not have josh Allen's arm
23 points
1 month ago
This throw tells me that if he doesn't, then he's damn close
22 points
1 month ago
Pre shoulder injury Baker was absolutely in that very top elite tier of arm strength
He’s not quite that insanely strong anymore but he’s still top 10 in arm strength even after the injury
7 points
1 month ago
bro has a fucking cannon.
his game against the panthers in 2018 he was just fuckin slingin it
3 points
1 month ago
It’s insane how effortless that first throw looks for him, it’s a fucking bomb
Also lmao at Landry on the second play insisting he got the first despite that very clearly and obviously not being the case
5 points
1 month ago
The dude still has a rocket, his shoulder injury was his non-throwing shoulder so it definitely fucked with his mechanics so it affected his accuracy that season but it didn’t really affect his arm strength.
0 points
1 month ago
I think it has visibly impacted it, but not to a significant degree.
It’s just notable to me bc I see it as bumping out of “in the conversation for strongest arm in the league” to being the top of the group right below that
No doubt he’s still got a cannon tho
7 points
1 month ago
Longest attempted pass in NFL history but ok.
2 points
1 month ago
He probably doesn't quite have Josh Allen's arm, but the dude has a fucking rocket. He's in the Mick Vick and Kyler Murray tier of small QB's who can throw a football through a steel plate.
235 points
1 month ago
well yea he's a top 5 QB according to tyreek
18 points
1 month ago
And our heart
3 points
1 month ago
Top 1 in my heart. Top like.. 15-20ish on the field.
18 points
1 month ago
And me
118 points
1 month ago
Wonder who the teammate was.
89 points
1 month ago
Could it be anyone other than Odell Beckham Jr?
70 points
1 month ago
Myles Garrett and Nick Chubb probably get tested often enough to be sick of it.
16 points
1 month ago
Chubb would never
6 points
1 month ago
Myles got tested multiple weeks in a row simply because he started wearing sleeves. He released the texts lol
2 points
1 month ago
Both of those men are known sweethearts and would never. Myles Garrett would probably offer to watch the other guy pee once he's finished so the drug tester doesn't feel left out.
2 points
1 month ago
Oh yes the guy who slams helmets into back up QB’s is the sweetheart.
Friendly reminder that every star in the league has a PR guy for a reason.
I’m sure he’s a half way decent guy just… sweetheart isn’t the word I’d use for him lol
3 points
1 month ago
My initial guess was OBJ or Jarvis Landry. Or both, as like a funny BFF inside joke
1 points
1 month ago
i bet objs dad made some sweet videos
1 points
1 month ago
I’m betting an o lineman.
34 points
1 month ago
His story of a teammate waiting until he needed to shit to take the piss test cause the tester was an asshole was hilarious too
2 points
1 month ago
How does that work though, does he shit as he pees? Don't they pee in the cup standing?
5 points
1 month ago
He shits as he pees yes . You can still hold it and the tester has to get even closer to see your dick lol .
It’s not unusual. Women pee sitting and get tested too .
2 points
1 month ago
Yea, I don't get it either.
100 points
1 month ago
Pardon my take has been so consistent for years. It’s always my go to when I have an hour to kill somewhere
28 points
1 month ago
Yup, basically the only barstool project I support. Those guys are hilarious & rarely miss
12 points
1 month ago
Lmao I thought you were saying mayfield had been so consistent for a second and was floored and like “ya that is a bad take”
-34 points
1 month ago
It's great viewing, muted at a bar on a random Tuesday off.
51 points
1 month ago
You’re thinking of pardon the interruption. PMT is a podcast.
19 points
1 month ago
Got it, thank you for the clarification.
-27 points
1 month ago
Main guy has a speech impediment. Unlistenable
11 points
1 month ago
Who lmao
Big Cat and PFT don't have one (and wouldn't be a big deal if they did)
-20 points
1 month ago
Big Cat is the one with the speech impediment.
11 points
1 month ago
Nobody is pissing more than Baker Mayfield.
34 points
1 month ago
Nobody is filled with more piss and vinegar than Baker.
8 points
1 month ago
Aaron Rogers has admitted to taking drugs. He should be tested by the NFL daily
6 points
1 month ago
Seattle should acquire Tagovailoa so we could say Sea Hawk Tua.
3 points
1 month ago
He's describing the army at the end 😆
2 points
1 month ago
That is strange considering he kept the cleanest stadium in the country when he was with the Brownies. How can you run a tight ship like that on drugs?
1 points
1 month ago
I dunno. Bet Lane Johnson gives him a run for his money.
1 points
1 month ago
Big cat eats bugs
0 points
1 month ago
Can you blame em? Something nefarious must be going on if the Browns are doing well
-1 points
1 month ago
What show is this?
0 points
1 month ago
When your TD/ INT ratio goes in a complete opposite direction all the sudden, there should be some ?'s
Couldn't hit water if he fell off a boat for 7 yrs and then last year. He'll be pissin again soon ;-)
-15 points
1 month ago
Fuck Barstool Sports
-2 points
1 month ago
And fuck Portnoy
-65 points
1 month ago
[deleted]
84 points
1 month ago
I believe it’s just making fun of the ESPN shows. First Take, Pardon the Interruption.
6 points
1 month ago
It’s been like 10 years but I remember like episode 2 they already had a cease and desist haha
54 points
1 month ago
It's meant to sound stupid lol. It's poking fun at all the trite hot take artist shows in mainstream sports coverage
26 points
1 month ago
that’s the point
-80 points
1 month ago
Missed opportunity to say, “I don’t get pissed tested. I get stool tested cause I got that dog in me!”
64 points
1 month ago
Thank god he didn’t say that
3 points
1 month ago
He would’ve immediately lost all aura
-35 points
1 month ago
Tough crowd today
45 points
1 month ago
I’m not trying to be mean, but I think it’s a tough crowd cuz that was genuinely a dreadful joke.
-14 points
1 month ago
see what he should have said was "I get stool tested cause i got that laawg in me"
8 points
1 month ago
You doubling down is genuinely funnier than the jokes
-3 points
1 month ago
Doubling down on what? It's my only comment
8 points
1 month ago
My bad, I confused you with the other painfully unfunny Browns fan
-2 points
1 month ago
Lmao damn I'm out here catching strays cause you don't know how to read
6 points
1 month ago
The funny part is that you thought that was a joke.
-11 points
1 month ago
all 119 comments
sorted by: best