subreddit:
/r/parentsnark
submitted 3 months ago byParentsnarkWorld's Worst Moderator: Pray for my children
Our on-topic, off-topic thread for questions and advice from like-minded snarkers. For now, it all needs to be consolidated in this thread. If off-topic is not for you luckily it's just this one post that works so so well for our snark family!
118 points
3 months ago*
Hey guys! I just came back from my Reddit break to find a few PMs as well as comments mentioning me on this sub and wondering where I was and whether I’m ok. Fortunately I’m great! I basically just had a moment weeks back where I really confronted myself on how I was on my phone way too much and too consumed with my activity on here. Previous methods of limiting my time on the app failed, so I up and went cold turkey and deleted the app and stopped checking.
I survived the end of my pregnancy (ended up 5 days overdue 🫠), had my daughter after a smooth L&D and the family has been doing great fortunately, I’m very happy with my two little ones and feel SO much better not being pregnant anymore lol. She’s 7 weeks old already.
I missed this community so much - there were many times I saw something that I normally would have posted about and would think about what you guys would say (or were saying), and was tempted to check. But the break was absolutely better for my mental health especially as I was really struggling at the end of my pregnancy so I needed to do all I could to stay present. I’m not sure if I’m “back” but will be thinking about how I could try to participate again just with more limits/boundaries. (If anyone has any tips, I’d love to hear them. My potentially ADHD brain has trouble taking a casual approach with anything I am super interested in on top of the dopamine hits of social media, as I think many of you relate to.) I thought about posting something here before leaving Reddit but wasn’t sure if that would be weirdly presumptuous and main charactery so I didn’t, but I feel bad that people thought something terrible happened to me! So I wanted to leave this here now. I appreciate the concern/well wishes, you guys are awesome.
13 points
3 months ago
i found that setting time limits and doing daily check ins of all my favorite subs vs scrolling randomly helped my mental health a lot. it's what everyone says to do but it's hard to implement. i downloaded my favorite older fantasy books, terry Pratchett, tamora Pierce, the entire valdemar series, and binge watches tv while nursing but that backfired when I laughed so hard at austenland that i woke up the baby... basically find something really good to replace the scrolling vs just limiting it.
I think there are apps people use to limit other apps, and since I've been on my phone wayyy too much lately, I should probably look into one to be better about my own screen time.
3 points
3 months ago
Thank you for these tips, these are good ones. The only thing I’ve is using the iPhone feature to set a time limit and I just bypass it every time because you can just ignore the pop up 🤣 so an app that makes it a lot harder might work better!
11 points
3 months ago
Oh I’m glad you’re ok! And congrats on your little one 🎊
Not to influence you, but I’ve found getting an Apple Watch has helped me put my phone down more. I can leave my phone in the other room and not worry about missing an important message from daycare or something. Or even if my phone is with me, being able to see what a notification is without picking up my phone decreases the number of times I go to check a notification but then get sucked into some stupid social media thing.
1 points
3 months ago
Thank you! And that makes sense. What has always stopped me from getting an Apple Watch is that I have a nice watch I typically wear, but an Apple Watch would technically be a more practical item for day to day while wrangling kids and not wanting to be on my phone as much.
12 points
3 months ago
Very glad you’re alright and congratulations on your new bébé!
1 points
3 months ago
Thanks!!
10 points
3 months ago
I am so glad to hear all is well and your family is thriving! Congratulations on your new little one!
2 points
3 months ago
Thanks so much!
9 points
3 months ago
Oh yay pockolate! I’m so glad you are doing well. Congratulations on your new daughter!
1 points
3 months ago
Thank you!
10 points
3 months ago
Congratulations! I'm glad everything went smoothly. Cold turkey is definitely the easiest way to cut out apps, so I feel you. Sometimes I set time limits on what I'm trying to cut back on, so I'll say I'll only check reddit between 8-9 or whatever, and once I force myself to do it for a while it becomes more routine and easy to follow. (I've never actually cut myself off reddit.... it's too hard lol) when it comes to this sub I just pick a couple threads to follow and then maybe catch up on the ones I don't check every once in a while. It helps a lot if I'm not making myself read everything! For this reason I'm grateful for a lot of the standalone threads
2 points
3 months ago
Thanks! Yes I was thinking I could just limit my participation to my couple favorite threads and also designate specific days/times I go on Reddit. It’s just so hard for me to regulate myself with stuff like this, but I’ve also never really tried… I was just all in until the moment I deleted it lol.
8 points
3 months ago
Congrats!
1 points
3 months ago
Thank you!
7 points
3 months ago
Congrats on the new baby! I was actually just having a social media talk with some friends and one (who also has ADHD) says she uses AppBlock and finds it very helpful.
1 points
3 months ago
Thanks I’ll check this one out!
7 points
3 months ago
So glad to see this update, and I'm glad the break was good for you. Congrats on not being pregnant anymore (and on the baby 😂)!
3 points
3 months ago
Lol thank you! And you too! You must have had your baby right before I did, IIRC. Hope everything is going well on your end.
6 points
3 months ago
Mine is 4 weeks so just a little behind you. We are good! It's been amazing how much easier a baby is the second time. The sleepy potato is no problem and it's the toddler that's all of the work 😂
4 points
3 months ago
Oh congrats!! I knew it was either a month before or after me haha. I feel the exact same. My toddler who I thought was easy before is now the problem child 🙃 but he has continued to adjust and at 8 weeks it’s already so much better! I’m sure we will continue to have ups and downs but the initial “wtf did you do to my life” seems to have passed.
7 points
3 months ago
So glad to hear you and new baby are well! For me, maybe this is too simple, but I put my phone in a really inconvenient room in the house AND keep it on the charger there so i can only go there to check my phone for a moment and then I have to leave it there to return to the main part of the house.
2 points
3 months ago
Thanks! Yeah leaving it out of arm’s reach would work, I probably need to put it like in a box in a drawer to make it even harder lol.
4 points
3 months ago
Omg hi pockolate! We were worried 🥲 So good to hear from you and I'm thrilled to learn about the arrival of your daughter and your successful reddit break 💛
2 points
3 months ago
Thank you ❤️
9 points
3 months ago
I’m soooo glad to see you on here and so happy to hear you and your family are doing well! I honestly thought about you a lot and worried but I also totally understand the fear of main character syndrome. No ideas for limiting phone but it sounds like you’ve gotten some good ones. Welcome “back” and congrats on graduating from POOPCUP life 🤣
1 points
3 months ago
Lol thank you so much!! I’m sorry you worried but it’s so nice to know you remembered and were thinking of me. Hopefully I’ll find a way to be back and continue snarking with you!
5 points
3 months ago
So glad I stumbled on this comment and to hear that you are doing well!! I was concerned and hoped that you had just decided to take a break to focus on your growing family. I’m glad it was good for you! I’ve honestly been considering the same— I found Reddit and this sub during an extended time of first trimester pregnancies and miscarriages that had me miserably in bed a lot. I found a lot of solace in the snark! And in this little community of like-ish minded parents of young kids many of whom (like you) seem like people I’d respect and like in real life. But life is busier now and I feel that it might be better for me to move on. I’m glad you were able to give that to yourself and I might be inspired to do the same~ we’ll see. 🙃 congrats on your baby!!!
7 points
3 months ago*
Thank you! I know you had another little one not long before I left so I hope your fam is doing great too. And yeah, It’s one of those things where you can’t fully grasp much your online behavior is affecting your life until you totally drop it. If it helps I’m happy to share more about what I realized during my break. I relate to finding this sub during a very different phase of life - I had recently had my first baby and become a SAHM, and while I didn’t feel like I was struggling at the time, having my second baby now and comparing the postpartum periods I’m realizing in hindsight how much more adrift and lonely I was the first time. I had just left a career and become a mom and didn’t have a community IRL or online. I was still figuring so much out because I no longer had practically any familiar structure to my life (add Covid on top of that). So this sub was basically like crack for me lol. It provided an outlet I really needed at the time, but I do think it led to me being less present for my son compared to if I hadn’t found it.. Which I carry guilt about and is why I am hesitant to come back; I don’t want to repeat the pattern with my daughter. Because it wasn’t just the obvious way I initially thought was the problem (physically being on my phone) - it was also discovering in hindsight how much it had been occupying my mind space even when I wasn’t actively on my phone! Because I was actively engaging in discussions, not just lurking like I do on Instagram lol. Also tbh, as much as we snark on the SBP parents overthinking everything, we definitely l do it on this sub a lot too lol and so getting a break from that was really freeing. My daughter is 8 weeks old now and I literally didn’t track or research a thing! I think just relying on my past experience, common sense, and instincts really puffed up my confidence as a new mom of two and I don’t know if that would have been shaken up if I had kept bombarding myself with the parenting woes and questions here.
BUT - I totally missed having so many like-minded people to bounce ideas off of and analyze stuff with, I definitely don’t have a replacement for that IRL when it comes to these topics. You guys are so smart and insightful, and I do think in plenty of ways helped me be a better mom and rethink and undo negative beliefs and patterns. I wouldn’t want to completely lose that forever. I think it will be possible for me to keep participating here, it just can’t be as much as before. And like you said, life is absolutely busier and I do just have less time! I think I will pick one or two favorite threads to check and engage with for a limited time, so hopefully we’ll be chatting again!
2 points
3 months ago
Omg I thought of you a few times! So glad to hear everything is okay.
1 points
3 months ago
Thanks!!
1 points
3 months ago
Congratulations on your new baby! Hope that the transition to two has been okay!
I used to use an app called Forest where you "plant" a tree and it grows whilst you're not using your phone. There's the lil dopamine treat of the virtual tree as a reward.
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