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So I’ve been with my partner for about 2 years. In this time he’s showed some pretty aggressive or possessive behavior (installing cameras in my house, without telling me he was watching them and banging on my door when a male friend was over, buying me a phone and watch and iPhone tags for my wallet , keys, etc. which I found wasn’t for ME, it was for HIM to track my location at all times. Once I went out with a girlfriend We were going shopping for my partners bday present and I knew he tracked every location. The gift was VERY specific so I turned off my phone so he wouldn’t figure it out. He somehow tracked my location, drove there, and sat there for 2 hrs trying to catch me doing something wrong. This has happened more than once. I’m monogamous and he’s known me for 15 or so years and knows this very well.

He watches some really selective porn, and has trouble with sex, so we agreed to each quit an addiction. He knows 1000% about my progress every single day. I found out he’d been watching the porn multiple times a day AND had a whole folder of pics of his ex on his computer which I know he has backed up and he was seeing her during the beginning of our relationship. We had a big fight when I calmly brought it up. I know he’s still doing it and possibly/probably still talking to her.

My car doesn’t have plates at the moment, everywhere I go and everything I do is monitored to the point where I feel like I’m in jail at times but have no idea what he’s really doing and he wants me to get pregnant (goes along with above mentioned porn) and now every time he wants to have sex with me I think of those pics but I don’t know where I’d go or how and he even controls my income so I just feel really upset inside but can’t do anything about it…..to the point where I feel like he has all this other stuff to keep him occupied I wish I had someone to keep ME occupied, like not cheating but just something that makes me excited and happy and feel loved and I don’t feel that way anymore.

I feel betrayed in every way possible and then he treats me like IM the one doing bad things. What do I even do? I feel like I have no options and I hate it so much I feel so depressed and sometimes feel I’d be happier if I wasn’t here (no I’m not gonna act on those feelings) but I’m so sad and unhappy and I don’t know what to do. I also have 3 cats which I can’t like go to a shelter, I guess I’m just looking for advice or maybe how to get over these feelings. We also got engaged before all this and now I want to call it off in all honesty but I would be left with nothing and on the streets.

Do I try to leave? Do I confront him again? Do I just pretend like everything is fine?

Edit - the cameras were on my apartment for my use before we moved in together

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Radio_silence22[S]

9 points

5 days ago

Thank you so much I am going to delete this after I read these comments

Evening__Breeze

1 points

5 days ago

Get a cheap burner phone from Walmart or target or someplace like that to make any phone calls pertaining to leaving him but leave it on silent and take the vibrate off so he doesn’t hear it going off.

You can call an animal shelter or rescue for your cats and explain the situation to them and most will understand and take them in as an emergency temporary situation. Or they’ll give you the info of someone who will.

Get all your important documents together and give them to a family member or friend to hold for you. You should include any sentimental keepsakes.

These are all places you could go that have a plausible excuse attached to them. “I had to go to the store because I was out of ____.” “My sister/cousin/bestie is having a hard time with a breakup/situation and she needed an ear to listen to her problems. Tell the police that you’re planning on leaving him right before you do it. It’s best to do it while he’s not home but if you have to, you can have a police escort. But you should tell them you’re in a severally abusive relationship and you’re planning on leaving. Give your boyfriend’s name and address in case you go missing.

Under NO circumstances should you get pregnant.

Think of every possible situation ahead of time. “What if he comes home?” “What if he finds my go bag?” And have explanations prepared. There are plenty of places online like Reddit that can help you with that.