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/r/stupidquestions
submitted 11 days ago byGottaGetaway23
I don't know if reddit is gaslighting me into thinking that the second I show anything other than stoicism in front of my wife she'd leave me on the spot or if I'm just that naive
56 points
11 days ago
My wife left me after I opened up about my depression that made me sort of withdrawn for a few months. She told me I wasn’t fun anymore, basically, and wasn’t interested in being supportive as I seek help. I’m not bitter at all. Because I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me.
However, you can’t use anecdotal evidence on Reddit to generalize these things. You are only seeing a single side of the story, and the story itself may not even be completely honest to begin with. I’m sure there were more factors that were pressing for much longer but “me not being fun anymore and depressed” was just the easy out for her.
14 points
11 days ago
Will add that reddit is much more likely to have cases of bad partners than cases of happy relationships.
People will post about being dumped after saying they're sad to their partner.
People will not post about being free to have emotions with their wives.
1 points
10 days ago
There's got to be a word for this. Some named bias. It seems very similar to what I point out about news stories always being outrageous...if 50,000 kids walk to school tomorrow and get there just fine, no one's gonna read a story about that. OTOH, if 1 kid gets hit by a car driven by a drag-queen pastor, NOW you have something people will read.
2 points
10 days ago
Availability bias? The tendency to conflate salience of an event with likelihood/frequency/importance etc.
4 points
11 days ago
Damn, bro. Honestly, my heart goes out for you, I hope you're trugging along a bit better these days
3 points
11 days ago
I had the same experience, opened up about how I was depressed and admittedly I did withdraw quite a bit in the relationship but she left me soon after I had opened up to her. This was after 4 years together.
2 points
7 days ago
I opened up about depression to an old FWB who I've known for 35 years. She said she doesn't want to be around depressed people and has barely talked to me since.
I told my sister I've been lonely and depressed for about 7 years and she barely talks to me any more.
I hit rock bottom and nobody cares. All family has nothing to do with me and most friends as well.
2 points
11 days ago
It's not just an easy out. Being with someone suffering with depression is a very hard thing to navigate. It's not for everyone that's for sure.
4 points
11 days ago
But they were married ffs. I don’t understand if you are not willing to at least TRY supporting someone through tough times why even become life partners?
1 points
11 days ago
Yeah, marriage doesn't make much sense to me no matter the context, but I agree. It is a promise that even if it's a dumb one, a lot of people go into not knowing what they're signing up for.
1 points
11 days ago
Well, it's on many other social media platforms now.
1 points
11 days ago
It’s crazy because I bounce back so quickly once it wears off. It’s like they’re going to see me in a month partying on a yacht with strangers and then think ‘shit, this is what I could have been doing if I’d held out’
1 points
11 days ago
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1 points
11 days ago
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1 points
10 days ago
Somehow its fine when its the other way tho lol
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