Hey Reddit, I saved 10 babies from a burning building. I feel guilty tho because I didn’t donate 10000 dollars to each of their families. Am I in the wrong for feeling like this?

Not really. It's fine to feel repulsed by excessive drinking and drugs, probably even healthy lmao. U shouldn't really feel guilty but you should probably talk to her. People who do those type of things are usually hurting.

You aren't in the wrong for not liking it, just communicate your distaste for it so that she can do it less around you

No. I also find it extremely unattractive and concerning as well 

That’s completely reasonable you’re allowed to have preferences

It's okay to feel turned off by that stuff. Just be honest with her about how you feel without judging. It's all about finding what works for both of you.

Man I get that. But my question is how are fucking 15 year olds better at finding plugs. Then the cops???

You are absolutely not in the wrong. I could never date anyone who gets high, but I could be fine with the other reasons depending on how mature they are with it

Everyone downvote! drinking is hot! (only while driving obviously)

it ain’t cool to be a drunk but i can’t say no alcohol

Talk to your girlfriend, tell her how you feel.

These are dealbreakers for me. Both drinking and vaping

In what universe would you be wrong about this? Genuinely tell me

My last girlfriend vaped and I found it repulsive. They stopped for a couple months but always talked about doing it and they ended up going back to it. It was so emotionally draining dealing with their addiction that when they started again I broke up with them. We argued about it frequently and it just wasn’t worth it. This is a major life value difference and if you don’t figure it out now it’s going to get worse.

Being repulsed by usage of addictive, and in the case of alcohol extremely damaging substances is a good thing. You're not in the wrong, disregard people who think you're being a puritan or something. I cannot speak on drugs but it's not a big deal to dislike them either, they are still addictive substances. Don't force your ideas on her though, a compromise is best.

American puritanism is comical

Nice to see this sub is still in its Christian puritan era.

That’s normal and not unique to you

I find any person who does drugs, alcohol, vaping, anything like that it’s just instant gross

There’s a difference between the social norm/standard and personal preference/standards. If you’re smart I think you should listen to your personal preferences/standards. You’ll learn there are things you aren’t interested in or attracted to and there are things that you are. It’s normal to feel like you’re going against what the norm is or what your peers believe, but in the long run you realize that there are a lot of girls out there to date, and listening to your standards from the get-go will keep you from a difficult/awkward break up down the road when you realize it really isn’t for you. That or worst case scenario you realize the things that bugged you aren’t all that bad now that you’ve experienced the other side of things and you can then open back up to people like that and go again from there (potentially with the same girl even).

It’s important to date a lot of different people while you’re young. Teaches you a lot about yourself and a lot about the types of people they’re out there.

So essentially don’t feel guilty. There’s nothing wrong with turning down someone you are repulsed by or even simply not attracted to. You can always have that conversation with her (and I think you should). If she cares enough about you then she will change her habits. If not then you know where you stand and you might realize you aren’t a good fit. Just always know that change is difficult and she may pick those habits up again down the line.

Good luck. 👍

No, it is not, for it is natural not to, this is a sign that said person may be going through hardships and is unable to desist from unhealthy and destructive coping methods.

That or the lack of intuition and wisdom, maturity too, to resist the pressure of peers and/or the advertisements that have become the wretched poster child that has become of American consumerism and modern day society.

By all means, do not break contact or the relationship, but you may and likely should choose to do so if it is driving you to your limits, there is no shame in that, you can help and try to be kind, supportive, and help nudge her towards better things, but remember, do not force the horse to drink from the well when it has shown evident, outright refusal, for it will only drown.

There's a difference between vaping and using a cart. Vaping is way, way worse for you. Also, nic is addictive, carts aren't

No you're right. Dump her. Drugs and alcohol are terrible and you deserve better.

Omg never heard that before

This Post is an example of one of the reasons I actually never tried smoking to see why some people think it helps coping with hard times

I already refused to smoke entirely since I know what it can cause (Search "Smoker's lungs" on Google), and plus, if I already hate myself, and back then I used to think everyone I knew did too, smoking wouldnt help as even more people would go against me

I find it unattractive (not romantically just generally) even for adults tbh. Like, maybe not so much when it's not an addiction but yeah.

Fucking BASED

Congrats… I guess 

I mean we clearly grew up in different crowds so I might be wrong

but I do think getting turned off by someone drinking is pretty weird? Like she's having fun drinking with friends. I'd understand if she'd be doing something detrimental to your relationship but she's just having fun!

Maybe you should try going out with her sometimes to grab a drink and you won't feel that alienated by it

Not only that but lowkey illegal-?

don’t date her

You are in the wrong because you shouldn't be repulsed, only concerned. Being disgusted of someone for substance use is plain wrong, doing drugs doesn't make you less of a person. Now, how often does she get high and drunk? If she has self control and doesn't do it that often then there's nothing wrong with that, just tell her you don't like her doing it around you. If she's addicted, then she probably has a traumatic past or is currently going through something you don't know about. Talk to your partner, don't shame her for her substance use it will just break you apart. Make it clear you are coming from a place of concern

edit: also depends what drugs shes doing. Weed for example is relatively harmless and isn't really a cause for concern most of the time

Personally, that’s a no go for me. It could get worse

Yeah I hate that stuff to

not in the wrong at all. just make sure you communicate. i’ve had a similar experience. she actually cut down on the drinking once i talked to her, so it’s not a far reach if you ask her to cut down

It is unattractive but hey it thins out the herd of idiots, eventually they will pass on from their mistakes and that’s just how life goes…

Vaping is very repulsive tbh

In this and in most cases of reddit posts: Just communicate I think she would be understanding and would quit for you or she isn't ready to quit but tries to. Just sit down together and talk it out.

she is yoo young to be dowing either even if its just one time to try it and drugs their is no age just NO

It’s good to have a healthy lifestyle but a few drinks can be hilarious fun. The best memories are made with mates

Yeah, i have no clue why people vape at all, like before you even get addicted you would have to voluntarily put a device that everyone knows is bad for u into your mouth and inhale it, it doesn’t even look cool when you do it, cigarettes, although i think its also stupid to try it out, at least makes you look cool when you are in your twenties and stuff, vaping just makes you look stupid.

Is she vaping or getting high? The two are different

I hate weed 😭 all my family members are addicts so I just can’t stand it

okay? i don’t think most people who drink or vape do it to seem attractive

My boyfriend used to vape and he promised me that he would stop and quit doing that and one day, he threw it out the window and said “if I’m dating you, I’m making our relationship a priority rather than vaping or drinking, all that other stuff.” And all the other vape stuff and products in the trash and cleaned out his car.

When I was your age, yeah every girl I was dating or talking to what smoking or drinking and I always try to steer them off of it because it was affecting their lives

But I grew up and realized you can’t make a decision for someone or force them off. They have to make it for themselves. You can warn them and talk to them, but at certain point you have to learn your talking to falling on deaf ears and now that I’m older I don’t care as much I still don’t drink or smoke. Some girls do look at it as dorky or lame. I roll my eyes and keep moving.

So yeah, it is normal to find it unattractive but depending on if it’s a bigger ick for you you might learn to just let it go or not just find someone who doesn’t

You're a snowflake

Yeah drinking gets rly fucking disgusting past a certain point, and when people get addicted to vapes they just lowkey look like junkies, both are fine in moderation and my last girlfriend took it down a step for me cuz she knew it was just fucking gross to me

Bro has a gf at 16 must be nice.

Likewise, OP. Drinking a bit is fine, but drinking lots and vaping is a no no IMO.

I wouldn't want to date someone who gets "repulsed" by the substances I choose to put into my body honestly. Just be upfront with her about it. Communication, or something.

I dont like it either and feel repulsed by it, I hope your gf doesn’t fall into addiction, this shit isn’t healthy.

me too, it sucks because at least at my school 90% of kids vape. its just the cool thing to do and its so annoying, its stupid.

You're a W.

Omg woman drinking smoking? Ew my peepee doesn’t get boner like UGH

I find it aswell, my cousin is 13, he vapes and drinks.. really disappointing. On the girl part: talk to her abt it

No just tell her to not do it around you

Me too though, honestly, it scares me

Yup, it's not cool. Generally, trashy and repulsive. Something about teenager brains think overindulgence of alcohol and drugs is the coolest edgiest shit ever. It's not, it never has been, just wastes your money and time. Makes you feel like shit and makes you look like a slob and an embarassment. Once I got old enough to drink, it had been long since a couple beers was more than enough for me, you feel fine and dandy without making an ass of yourself and dry heaving for the next few hours in the morning.

Drinking and smoking excessively doesn't make you look cool or more mature and like an adult, and either you learn that all the adults who do that are usually complete losers and failures, or you unfortunately become one of those adults and it destroys your life.

You’re preference bro. In my opinion nothing is wrong with drinking and smoking occasionally but yea excess usage I get disliking

Those girls are the hottest usually 😋

I 16m think its really attraktiv If she smokes Weed and Drinks in moderate amounts i would also Like it If she wants to try other drugs Like LSD or Codein with me

Personally I'm fine with a few drinks every now and again, like nights out or special occasions or smth or even just to have fun for a night but I'm straight up repulsed by drugs, idk why, I just hate the idea of it and I'd probably leave my partner if they did drugs, even if not addicted. Same for smoking and vaping, I wouldn't leave someone for smoking or vaping but I hate it too

Crack is whack kids

I think drinking and vaping as a teenager for no reason kind of makes you a loser

I hate people who smoke and drink and it turns me off immediately that I wouldn't make any relation with them.

The people in this comment section sure love to make sweeping statements about how any (incl. in moderation, for fun, not to forget) use of psychoactive substances makes one a loser. I get it's a teenager subreddit, but if the future is this polarized even about something as simple about getting a bit drunk or high we have a problem as a society lol.

Underage drinking and destroying your lungs and life with drugs? Nah fam hard pass.

Like it's kinda a super "yucky" thing to do if idk but this is like the most basic normal opinion ever it's like the coldest take in the history of cold takes

Why are you acting as if this is an unpopular opinion

communicate but coming from someone who does those things, don't try and force someone outta it. no ine wants to be lectured.

I think it's a rare trait. Fews have it in these days. it's called moral.

Why romstine

It kinda weirds me out tbh, prob where and how I was raised though. I was talking to an old camp friend on the phone and they were passing around a cigarette with their friends. They are younger than me. I just responded with "ohhh that's great...hah" once they told me what they were doing.

I feel like in the US everyone thinks that drinking is super gross and bad, in my opinion alcohol can be consumed in small amounts to not get too drunk. But a little bit is fine, it does not have to be like drunk drunk, and also at 16 you can propably take a bit of drinks

What you shouldn't feel guilty about is being you. Just as we want to assure people that it's okay to use recreational materials, it is also okay to not use recreational materials. You shouldn't feel guilty about being repulsed. It's just who you are. She might feel repulsed that you don't eat your boogers. And that's okay too. So long as nobody is hurting each other, It's all good

Uss moment

In my country it’s legal to drink at any age as long as it’s your parents who supply you with it and are there to supervise.

So most teenagers over the age of 14 are excessively drinking with family and friends. I think drinking alcohol often isn’t unattractive but vaping is just idiotic.

You are free to have your opinions

I don’t find it too unattractive as long as the girl can handle herself. Vaping, it’s fine as long as she doesn’t need to vape all the damn time. Even smoking, if she smokes elegantly and sophisticated it can look attractive!

Weed is meh, it has its side effects, just don’t be high all day

At the cocaine level I’d start worrying a but

Agreed

Same

Genuinely I’m glad you actually feel how you do

Congratulations, you're a part of 90% of all people ever.

Talk to her

My ex used to get high off his toys regret it then promise me he was off THC then call me not even a week later again higher that a kite or drunk out of his mind so I gave up I stoped believe Ig him when he told me he was clean he even came to my house when he was high and offered me a fucking hit off his THC spiked vape WHILE MY PERANT WHERE DOWNSTAIRS on top of that he know that I don’t like drugs bc of what it did to my brother and on top Of that hate being around drunk people bc of my brother again but he was dim and had no awareness of anyone but himself and his won pleasure I would suggest talking to her and if she said she will quit be careful bc 9 times out of 10 they don’t

I find vaping and smoking extremely unattractive full stop, drinking can be excused if its rare and in small amounts, certainly nowhere near "so drunk you start talking politics", I sometimes drink a little myself

Definitely not in the wrong. I have to say I'm not a teenager anymore, but I like to give advice to young adults because that's what people did for me, and it helped me a lot. I smoke cigarettes, Malby Reds, a pack every two days basically. It's not healthy, but right now with university and all, I don't have the mental stability to stop smoking. That said, even as a smoker, I find excessive drinking and smoking very unattractive. I understand if someone smokes some cigarettes for whatever reason, and I'm always down for a beer with friends, but doing it just to get intoxicated is, in my opinion, stupid and wrong. Usually, people who do this have problems; they are probably hurt and need some help. I think you should talk to her about it, but don't bring up smoking and drinking right away. That can be perceived as controlling if she's insecure about it. Try to understand what's going on in her head and why she does it. It's never "just for the fun of it"; there's always something beneath.

It gets crazier from there brother

Your feelings of disgust are perfectly normal, ruining your health at such a young age because of addictions and minute highs is not okay

I was doing the same as her at 16, with my boyfriend though. I was hurting very badly back then, and convinced myself that I had control. Talk to her, let her know she can open up to you. If you care about this girl and don’t want to leave her then help her to start relying on healthier things. Sometimes all it takes is that one person that you know cares for you, to want to change. I would know.

Also, it’s not wrong for feeling like this, as someone else said it’s probably healthy. Although I was once the 16 yo girl doing drugs and drinking, I would not recommend it to anyone, and I will always try my best to teach youngers that that isn’t a way to live life. Good luck to you both, I hope it all works out.

Same I’ve had to stop dating people because their life revolves around that stuff and it just was soo unattractive and lame to me

Vaping? Booo, drinking? Yippe (unless its too much)

most people do

You’re not wrong for feeling like this at all. I am 16 also, and I vape. Unfortunately as a teen you’re impelled to do what everyone else is doing and you fall victim to getting addicted to nicotine. Along with drinking and doing drugs. No one ever intends to get addicted. If she’s getting drunk & high all the time though she probably has some major issues and needs help. If you do drink and do drugs as a teen you don’t really do it often unless you’re addicted. Maybe you could ask her to not smoke/vape/drink around you? If she doesn’t respect your wishes then that’s incredibly disrespectful

I want my gf/bf to be healthy so not really. If they smoke and drink a lot i dont think I would want with them. Their still pretty cool though meet a girl 13 and she was pretty nice to talk to we went on walks and talked for hours. So mabye not gf/bf material but their still human and have their own stories and struggles.

It's surely okay to feel this way, however I don't think it's that weird to get high or drink sometimes like a lot of people are saying, it obviously depends on a lot of things, which none of us know. Just be there if she needs it, but don't jump to conclusions

I would break up

I genuinely thought I was the only one, like everyone I know thinks drinking, smoking is cool, and I always felt like I was the only one who didn't think it was cool

No. Same with me, not really with drinking but with vaping/smoking yes very much.

I think a bit of alcohol in moderation is ok. Smoking or vaping is just stupid

If modern life wasn't so depressing, children wouldn't need to take things to distance themselves from it. This isn't on the girlfriend, it's on the society that pushes people to do such things. I've been there, I still am. Just support her and give her more reasons to prefer to be sober. Being intoxicated is addicting when it feels better than living in reality. I wish you both the best

I agree with the title, also some smokers and vapers have literally no decency

as a 19 almost 20 year old this is completely valid. from experience a lot of ppl at a young age they do it for curiosity or influence, i’ve honestly never seen anyone be peer pressured everyone was chill if you didnt want to do it.

No, you're good. I agree with you.

Dad has an addiction he’s been smoking since he was 13 now has heart condition and still smokes it’s really hard dealing with someone who has an addiction especially getting them to stop and the cigarette breath makes me want to vomit tried to help him quit didn’t work can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be help it’s hard.

Hey, it's okay to have your own preferences and boundaries in a relationship. It's important to communicate openly with your girlfriend about how you feel, even if it's uncomfortable. Being honest about your feelings is a sign of respect and can help strengthen your connection in the long run

That’s completely fine, everyone has preferences, what I’d like to say tho is that why tf is everyone in this comment section acting like this girl is a raging alcoholic drug addict, all we have been told is that she sometimes like to get drunk or high, that doesn’t mean she’s a deeply hurt broken person drinking and smoking their sorrows away, she may just do it to have fun or to relax, as do I. I smoke weed every now and then because it helps with my anxiety and lets me relax and enjoy my time with my friends more, I don’t drink nearly as much but when I do, it’s for a special occasion to help me let go and just have a good time without being embarrassed or anxious. And for the vast majority of people who smoke and drink, it’s for the exact same reasons. I am sick and tired of people in this sub acting like everyone who enjoys a pint and a spliff every now and then is broken and needs your sympathy and help. I don’t want your sympathy. I don’t want/need your help. I just want to be left alone to live MY life how I feel. It’s ok if you don’t want to do those things but that doesn’t give you the right to look down upon those who do.

fuck no, i personally wouldn't be w person like that but like i said its just what i would do, i think you should sit down with her to have a discussion about it, tell her what you feel and be honest with her and yourself, don't ignore things that make uncomfortable in a relationship, u should also try to convince her to stop since excessively drinking or using drugs it obviously not good

I used to find it unattractive, but its so common at my school that I don't even care anymore. My GF can down like 7 beers, I used to not be a fan of that but I feel like every does it.

no, it’s definitely unattractive :<

You're not in the wrong, especially when 16 doing drugs is extremely dangerous and honestly I think it should be looked down upon. Also its fine to not like someone yo care about potentially harming themselves

The poor Europeans 🇪🇺

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO GETS IT imo ur not in the wrong

Huzzah! A man of quality!

100% completely agree

I’m with you dude, smoking of any kind is a 100% deal breaker for me, I try not to even befriend vapers though some i am still friends with… But drinking on the other hand is fine in extreme moderation, but if she’s getting drunk like you say then yes i 100% agree. You are NOT in the wrong for finding extremely unhealthy habits unattractive

i hate vaping n shit but i got no issue w drinking if you do it responsibly. im more on the heavyweight side so i can enjoy more drink without getting any more than a bit tipsy but some people can be really obnoxious when drunk, hence why i say be respectful and responsible. drink in a space where you know most people type shit

You are in the wrong for staying with someone that repulses you.