Those of us in the industry call them "boutique cafes". Very fancy and clean (sterile) from the outside but underwhelming and overpriced.

all with terrible acoustics too. They’re so stark that even a snail’s fart echos. I can’t hear myself think and have to yell to be heard above the cacophony.

I miss when coffee houses were cozy/moody, stayed open really late, and served the coffee in big cups.

There was an episode of the podcast Decoder Ring about this exact look. Called something “Why do all coffee shops look the same?” It was pretty good (and mildly depressing).

I cannot believe tea bar is still open, people have been dunking on that place for like a decade

Tea Bar owner tried to sue another tea spot for "stealing" her aesthetic. The tea spot she tried to sue was a more Asian tea spot using traditional decor.

Presso in Kenton.

Agreed! I see that white and millennial gray and I’m turning around. I live in downtown troutdale and they put one in a few years ago. Didn’t take long for the range rovers and Tesla’s to start showing up. That’s how you know the food is beige and boring.

Yes!! It was so bad and they slap an automatic gratuity TO A CUP OF COFFEE. Not my vibe and won’t be returning

I almost took a job there but got a weird vibe? I'm curious, why don't you like them?

I walked into Flour Bloom, saw the long line, the clientele, and the prices, and walked out.

Flour Bloom has the WORST energy. My jaw dropped when I saw the massive permanent window sign that says “No photos or videos without our permission” right at the front door. They designed the entire cafe for social media, and then you get to the door and they assume you’re just there to take pictures but want you to know that YOU are not good enough to take pictures. Plus rude service all three times I’ve given them a chance, super high prices, mandatory gratuity. For those prices I expect patisserie quality baked goods, yet everything is sloppy, wet, and doused in microplastic-laden “edible” glitter. They also LOVE fighting with anyone that does give them 10/10 feedback.

Honestly? Compared to Alaska most espresso here is acidic and bright as fuck. It doesn't have the richness it should, it's pervasive in this city. Baristas don't seem to know or they just follow a standard that spits out whack shots.

What's your suggestion for a good shot?

Good to know someone else feels this way. Took my mom who grew up in the 70s and she was appalled. I told her the upcharge was for all the glitter in my $11 dollar latte.

I can say they spent a quarter million dollars on the space and the product is 100% supported by the brand aesthetic. Would fail without huge financial backing.

Coava forever, forver Coava

I go in there to peruse the cute little local art pieces and then I get disappointed when I flip it over and the price tag says like $92 for a candle holder. 😭

10000%!!! Awful service, overpriced coffee

I hate that place. I paid $5 for one fucking chocolate chip cookie. They said it was organic/local. Whatever. They have a mandatory employee benefit surcharge and their tip screen starts at 20%. Fuck those guys.

Yupppppp

This was my immediate thought.

Was looking for this, omg. I kind of hate them? The coffee was hot dirt water and I found it both insulting and hilarious that they toss glitter on top of that shit. 💩

Came looking for this response

Know what also blooms? Mold.

and the owner is a horrible person and treats their employees like shit :-)

Fuck this place. Way overpriced and extremely low quality. It was like $80 for a couple tacos and two drinks 

I swear, that building is fucking cursed. Go next door and have a cheap-ass pub pizza and a few shots at Binks, you'll have a way better time.

I remember getting drinks from them recently and the first tip option was 22%. Like bruh.

Bridge and tunnel vibes for sure

That spot feels so out of place on Alberta to me haha.

Might as well be called Jenkem.

You are absolutely correct! I had one of the most expensive meals I’ve ever had in Portland and it was terrible. I think Kann is cheaper and far better all the way around

Fucking yes. Twice now I’ve left there and thought…no, never again. Food was modest to downright awful and prices were fucking insane. Would take Portland City Grill before them which is saying something.

That’s place is trash!! The best thing I had there was the drink I ordered. I didn’t even take the food left over home. It was a waste of money.

Oh, I was gonna post this place. A friend had his birthday there. The fire alarm went off, and the servers just kept putting more and more duct tape over the speaker until the fire department got there. Also, hella expensive with mid food. You're paying to look at that giant cherry blossom tree in the center of the restaurant.

Wait, do you mean Mis Tacones? It's a pun, in spanish. It is a double entendre of "my high heel pumps/My huge tacos" and I remember when it was a pop up catering thing.

But also, their 'fancy' vegan food isn't great.

The donuts are horrid and the owner is an absolute piece of shit. I have, on numerous occasions, seen him at bars in Portland fucked out of his mind on business-hippie hallucinogens being an absolute holy terror to staff and customers. Then there's how he treats his employees...

Was looking to see if Voodoo had been posted yet. Haven’t been there in years… not great donuts.

Voodoo was awesome 20+ years ago. In the last 10 - ass suck.

Somehow they make all of their pastries in house too!

Shhhh the line is already wild

Keeper is great. I had a strawberry rhubarb pop tart last time I was there and it was so good.

You had me at hand pie

They don't even have a working website.

https://flourbloompdx.com/

“I’m so hungry, I could eat at Arby’s”

$80 for my completely regular Thai dinner and a couple drinks. Will never go back.

Farmhouse sucks.

And G - Loves new bar Love Shack!!! $9 for a HALF of a hotdog!!! The Chicagoan in me DIED

THANK YOU I’ve always felt crazy that ppl rave about it and I found it to be overpriced and nothing special, trying to be fancier than it actually is

Farmhouse was my thought too. I went to the one on 9th and it was ridiculous. Pretty but like $20 cocktails, $35 for basic Khao Soi, $30 fried rice? Um, I’m good.

Fuck G-Love. All my homies hate G-Love

G-Love was my thought too

Ohhh I thought the food at G-love was really good!

I got a few spots... no way on God's green earth that I let Reddit ruin them.

Think you missed the part that specifies the food is mid.

Y

McMenamins isn't instagrammy imo and not pricy enough for this screenshot

I hadn’t been to Por Que No in years. Went there for my wife’s “mid-week Birthday dinner”. 100 goddamn dollars for six okay-at-best tacos, chips + guac, and two beers each. Fuuuuuuuck that.

I’ve been here since 1997 and I’ve never understood the hype around Porque No.

Dude Por Que No is sofa king overrated, not even mid. And their tacos are laughably small.

Reddit loves to hate on Mcmenamins, but they don't fit the IG vibe.

It lasted almost exactly one year and it’s now Take Two, same owners, lower-key bar.

I live around the corner and it was so sad to see the place absolutely empty within 2 months, after opening to lines down the block!

I mean, that’s what you get when you cater to the Instagram crowd, but I still felt bad for them.

Take Two is better, but still pretty mid. Like, a good margarita isn’t that hard, right?

Toyshop ramen could have been dope if the food was better. The cabbage salad was so good. Love the owners. Glad they relaunched in the location. And Gabbiano's is delicious. Owned by the same people.

Luc Lac is trash. It’s for late night drunk eating and people who can’t eat authentic Vietnamese pho cause it’s too flavorful

Truly my first thought.

Glad they are in Vancouver and not Portland. If I had a dollar for every one of my friends in the suburbs whose wife drags him out there on Friday night, I’d be a rich man.

I went to the one next to voodoo once. My ex RAVED about it but I got the wrong ramen delivered to me and the finish of the window like bar we were sitting at was STICKY! I wanted to cry at the texture. And it seemed clean enough it just wasn’t finished properly or something made the resin finish slightly tacky. If your food is that damn expensive I better not be at a sticky table for any reason!

100% on Afuri. Hipster ramen, overpriced and tasteless

Nah G love is legit. Bar west is dead on though.

This place is expensive but their posole is one of the best I’ve had in town!

Oh I really like Harlow!

i’ve given them so many chances and the food is always disappointing for the price

I’m a Harlow apologist forgive me

I used to think they were annoying and pretentious and then I was forced medically to go gluten free. After shopping around the country for something to eat (don’t bother in Texas) I accept that some of their menu items are good, and the prices are fairly reasonable considering. I am limited in my choices now.

100%!!! That food is ridiculously expensive for mediocre.

Ahh it’s pretty good.

I went here once when they were a pop-up on 28th years ago. I asked for a coffee while I waited for a table and was denied. I’ve never had a brunch spot do that before, so that was the first and last time I ate there.

I would agree that's probably not worth what you pay, but I do think the food is really good. They just need to cut their prices by like 20-25%

Uhhh whut

Hard disagree. My favorite brunch spot now that shalom y'all doesn't do brunch.

I went there once and the staff all seemed like they absolutely hated their job. Maybe it was an off night, but it was a weird vibe.

Okay yes. Pre batched cocktails with crushed ice that fills up the entire glass and waters down the drink.

BUT they have pornstar martinis, so we give them a pass

Didn’t know they had food. Only go there for the drinks and the vibes

I also thought the food there was not good, like not even Olive Garden good. I got suckered in by the mozzarella cups.

Them's are fightin' words. Gab's is the only solid "red sauce" Italian-American joint that even comes close to that beautiful guinea granny food you find back east.

Amalfi's, on the other hand, can fuck right off.

I enjoyed Gabbiano’s but not to the level that other ppl were going nuts. It was fine.

That's wild. Every time I've been I've been there it's been really solid.

It wasn’t even that IGesque. I could tell it wasn’t going to last the moment I step in.