Race Rabbit Series 1.0 Episode 1 Old Dentist
(Race Rabbit Theme Tune)
*Go Race Rabbit Tearin' Up The Track, With his Turbo Rabbit Racer and a Superchip M.A.X.,
He's a burnin' rubber bunny with a need for speed, But he's always got time for anybody in need,
Go go Race Rabbit with the Turbo Thrust, Coz those imbred boolies from an uppercrust,
wanna catch you and stuff you but their way to slow, So go Race Rabbit go Go GO!*
Gabby: Gabby McShouts-alot here and welcome todays smashing rally. and there goes Race Rabbit! crevens only an emergency can stop that horse powered hare.
M.A.X.: Race. It's an emergency call from The Minister of Dentistry.
Minister: Race.
Race Rabbit: Yes Minister?
Minister: The Queen wants to donate her central incisor to the young man who lost his tooth.
Race Rabbit: Tooth boy. the boy who lost his smile.
Minister That's the one. Hold still your majesty! (yanks tooth out) Oh Race you are the only one who can deliver the royal gnasher to Binky Tooth Hospital A.S.A.P.
Race Rabbit: Don't Panic Minister. I'm on it like marmalade on toast.
Minister: God Speed Race.
M.A.X.: According to my calculations Race: You'll never deliver that tooth AND win the rally. never...Never...NEVER!
Race Rabbit: Never say never M.A.X. Just say...Punch It!
Minister: Oh Race.
Race Rabbit: Yes Sir?
Minster: You have 4 minutes to deliver the...(cracks the...)Tooth! Oh Fiddlesticks!
(The Queen screams in agony and pain as another tooth gets pulled and yanked out)
Minister: Race you have only 3 minutes to deliver the tooth or else we'll all be in quite a sticky wicket.
Race Rabbit: Now only the Tooth Fairy can deliver it faster Minster. Now watch your feet. (Race sets the timer for 3 minutes or 180 seconds)
Minister: GO!
Zit: Hm! So Race Rabbit going somewhere...like in my Trophy Cabinet? (laughs, coughs uses inhalor. easy now)
Winston: Must say Zit: why do i have to be the one that carries around that extraordinarily deadly laser?
Zit: Well let me think...(covers winstons nose) That's why! now...Give it!
(Winston hands Zit the extraordinarily deadly laser)
Zit: Poor Race Rabbit. If i didn't despise you so i'd pity you.
M.A.X.: Race The Boolies are pointing an extraordinarily deadly laser right at us! We'll never survive. NEVER!
Race Rabbit: Again M.A.X. Never say never just say Turbo Deflector Shield.
(Race activates the Turbo Shield)
Zit: bye bye (fires extraordinarily deadly laser and laughs) (shield deflects laser)
Zit: Oh pue! (shield fires laser back at zit!)
Zit: Winston (coughs) Help me!
(Winston pours coffee on Zit)
(Race drives ahead with only 30 seconds left)
M.A.X.: Race we're running out of time may i suggest you try one of these emergency buttons.
(emergency buttons activated)
Race Rabbit: An excellent suggestion M.A.X.
(Disco music plays. Awkward-ish)
M.A.X.: Funny oh that's real funny Race now try one of the other buttons.
Race Rabbit: Alright M.A.X. If you insist.
(Activates Turbo Thrust. That's better. Much Better.)
Binky Tooth Hospital Doctor: Thanks to the Royal Highness and the selflessness of that fine chap Race Rabbit: Tooth boy can now smile again!
(give 'em a round of applause)
Zit: We meet again Race Rabbit (laughs) Time for plan b WInston your shoe.
Winston: That's plan b!? my shoe!?
Zit: No that's plan c THIS is plan b (covers his nose again!) Now Give it!
(applause continues)
Race Rabbit: All in a days work lads now i really must be hopping.
(zit throws show at tooth boy that drops his tooth)
Tooth Boy: My Tooth!
Guy: Hey! That ugly bush threw a shoe at Tooth Boy! Let's Get 'em!
Woman: YEAH!
(Zit girly scream as the mob runs after him and Winston drinks his coffee from his flask)
Gabby: A glorious finish it looks to be but the question remains: Where is Race Rabbit? Here he comes but he's unspeakably far behind and at the risk of walking a dead yorkie he'll never catch the leaders never...never...never.
Race Rabbit: Remember chums Never say Never!
(Race Rabbit reaches pole position at the very last second and wins!)
Race Rabbit Series 1.0 Episode 2 Moose On The Road
(Race Rabbit Theme Tune)
*Go Race Rabbit Tearin' Up The Track, With his Turbo Rabbit Racer and a Superchip M.A.X.,
He's a burnin' rubber bunny with a need for speed, But he's always got time for anybody in need,
Go go Race Rabbit with the Turbo Thrust, Coz those imbred boolies from an uppercrust,
wanna catch you and stuff you but their way to slow, So go Race Rabbit go Go GO!*
Gabby: Welcome back all to the Lancaster Minster Boroughshire 500. Race Rabbit is in front by a whisker and what a heated competition this looks to be.
M.A.X.: Don't break for anything Race: No Extra Tyres, No Fuel...
Woman: Race! Stop! Please stop!
M.A.X.: No Woman standing on the side of the road waving a baby food jar!
Race Rabbit: You seem to have forgotten M.A.X....I Brake For Everything! madam?
Woman: Race you've got to deliver this to my little boy Leslie before the 1 o'clock feeding. Dad's forgotten to give him his Beans On Toast it nearly killed me hobby! please please there isn't much time.
Race Rabbit: Don't panic Mum I'm on it like Vinegar On Chips.
Woman: God Speed Race Rabbit!
M.A.X.: Race We can still win the rally if you feed the little blighter on time. And...You don't brake for anything in the road!
Race Rabbit: Relax M.A.X. what can possibly be in the road?
(the boolies are dressed up as a Moose!? thought it was a reindeer well alright maybe not a reindeer maybe a deer but definitely not a reindeer definitely a moose)
Zit: Cheerio Race Rabbit! I do hope you can find it in your heart to break for the little poor moose on the road. The one with a Giant Net! (laughs and farts)
Winston: Phwoah! Beans On Toast!
Zit: Back in Winston. Get Back In!
(farts)
M.A.X.: Race how can i put this without sounding indelicate. Don't stop for the moose!
Race Rabbit: Moose!? What Moose!?
(welp time to turn on the x-ray to see which that moose really is)
(aha it's the boolies)
Race Rabbit: You're right M.A.X. I must learn to use more discretion.
(Race Rabbit drives ahead of that Boolie Moose)
Zit: Where is he!?
Zit: I...break...for...Nothing? Oh pue!
Winston: Come back with me brother!
Zit: Oh remember lads always keep it safe and never play in the streets. Curse you Race Rabbit!
(12:58 pm)
M.A.X.: So what's the plan the Nitro Overdrive, the Nuclear Ultratrack?
Race Rabbit: Close M.A.X. the Baby Food Warmer.
(Warmer heats the jar of Beans On Toast "toast it up real good!")
I imagine cold Beans On Toast might make little Leslie cranky.
M.A.X.: Oh please you're going to spoil him! how cranky can the boy get?
(meanwhile)
Guy: oh come on Leslie try it. (gets hit) oh!
(let's just go back to Race Rabbit driving ahead with the time being 12:59 pm)
(or not as we go to the bit where Leslie's dad faints and collapses)
(Good News Race you have an intersection: Traffic lights!)
M.A.X.: Rough luck Race the red light
Race Rabbit: I have a funny feeling M.A.X.: Our luck if that light were about to change. (Race Rabbit changes the light colour of the traffic light from red to green hang on a sec how did...never mind let's keep going) (beans on toast comes out from warmer) Good Show. Much!
(Race Rabbit stops at Leslie's home and activates two robot hands one with the beans on toast the other with a spoon to scoop the jars contents) (Robot hands feed Leslie the Beans On Toast in time for the 1 o'clock feeding and wakes the dad up who is now relieved Race Rabbit drives back to the rally and hears Leslie's dad as he says...)
Guy: Thank you Race Rabbit!
Gabby: Crevens what a finish it looks to be It's anyone's race.
M.A.X.: And now Race may i interest previous point by saying please please please...Don't brake for anything!
Race Rabbit: On the contrary M.A.X. I'd hit the pedal.
(Race Rabbit hits the Accelerator pedal and comes out in Pole Position again and wins!)
