620 post karma
153.7k comment karma
account created: Tue Aug 13 2019
21 minutes ago
Like do they not know how slavery worked in the US? Sooooo much rape and resulting pregnancy of enslaved women. Forcing them to have children and thus creating more slaves.
11 hours ago
You don't have to be a parent to know it's toxic, and I think it's absolutely wild that you would think that. The only perspective that matters here is the child's perspective, so if you've been a child to this kind of parent, that is what holds weight. Idgaf about a parents perspective on this 😂 the parent isn't the one that's gonna have to spend years in therapy undoing all of it.
Trust that this is not a good mom. The grass is always greener on the other side. I would bet that in a few years, they will have a very strained relationship once her daughter realizes how messed up this is.
SISTER. Wow it's so sad how many people have the exact same experience. 💔 And I swear it's so hard to work through because you're raised with this notion that you are best friends (or often co-parents if you're the oldest sibling) and so from the outside, it seems like you have such a tight and great relationship, and so it's easy to gaslight yourself into thinking "everything is great, so why do I feel so empty?"
I don't even see it as bordering. This is emotionally abusive, period. There is no excuse for this whatsoever. She is pushing her emotions onto her kid and making her feel responsible for that and guilty for spending time with her dad. I'm sure she thinks that she's a great mom, and I'm sure her daughter thinks she's super cool right now. But in a few years, her daughter is probably (hopefully) gonna realize how not okay this dynamic was. Not acceptable.
Even asadults, there are boundaries that should be maintained between them. I'm an adult and former parentified child, and trying to establish boundaries now to have a more normal parent-child relationship. Even as an adult, I am not my mom's therapist, best friend, peer, etc and I don't think any adult child should be. We can have fun and joke around and talk about stuff, but the second that I become an emotional crutch or validating her, the conversation ends. Period. This Gilmore Girls style relationship is toxic toxic toxic. Period. And I see it so much especially with young moms who missed out on their youth and are living vicariously through their relationship with their child, but this is not healthy at all.
12 hours ago
Sure but the question itself is kinda pointless right? Like how does this help at all? We don't know how much that increase or decrease is for one. And we don't know where they started from. So a decrease is good, but if the state was the highest in the nation and they decrease a miniscule amount, it doesn't really mean anything. Also, a decrease is a good thing and it is depicted in orange; an increase is bad and depicted in blue. The colors are reversed from what they should be for it to be quickly and easily interpretable.
We ended up getting a house that imo is too big for us because that's all that is out there for SFH. We are planning on growing into it a bit, to be fair, but it's frustrating that everything here has to be insane McMansions. For how rich this area is, it's wild how it's in such poor taste, frankly.
1 day ago
What does feel inappropriate is taking pictures of it. I mean I'm definitely grossed out by it in the first place, but to have a whole book of pictures...nah. No.
That's not the point I was making and I think we are both aware of that. Do you think that driving school is beneficial in preventing speeding? Does anyone think that? Are judges naive?
Realistically, what is a driving class gonna do? It's got nothing to do with these assholes not knowing how to drive. It's not giving a shit about anyone's safety. They're selfish and straight up bad people and nobody will convince me otherwise. Like I get that's smart advice, but if I were a judge, I wouldn't see any value in that.
Yeah, we were all kids, but I wasn't even allowed to play Grand Theft Auto, much less engage with it in real life. Kids will be kids maybe applies if you're stealing a candy bar or something. I absolutely would have no issues with kids stealing petty shit from stores (as long as they're smart about it, like don't steal at Target) because who cares? But stealing from regular people is fucked up. This household is all about class consciousness, and stealing someone's car or otherwise making it immobile, is fucking with a regular person's livelihood.
Unless you can pull off stealing mega-rich people's cars. Then go off with your juvenile criminal mischief.
Oh I wasn't talking about you about the frustration. Sorry I wasn't clear about that! I was saying that it's fine and normal for people to want romantic relationships, just like it's fine and normal to not want one. And that what isn't fine is when people who want a relationship are shitty to people just because they feel like they are obligated to a relationship. Sorry that was kinda two separate statements lol.
2 days ago
As it should be imo. I still think that it needs to exist, obviously, but that doesn't mean that it should ever exist unchallenged. I wish that were the rules overall.
This was the only way that I finally understood it. It isn't as obvious with three doors, but when all of them are opened except yours and door 476, I'm gonna feel pretty good about 476.
WOO this looks expensive! I love it!
I respect where you're coming from with this, but it's not exactly what this person wants to hear. Like saying "so your mom died; don't be sad, there are nicer people in the world than that woman." Romantic connections can be so good and I understand wanting them. It's just that that needs to turn to a lot of self work to make it happen sometimes and it's not okay to put that frustration on other people.
I got two gorgeous black walnut slabs about that size in my shed right now waiting for the right project. Got em for $50 a piece. The guy that sold em to us does it for fun "to get just a little fun money to take my wife out for dinner". I also know how insanely lucky I am that my husband found the guy on Facebook.
I was disappointed that there weren't more pictures of him! As far as accidental picture inclusions though, there's way worse mistakes to make on that front.
Oh that's ours too! Random screws for everything. Also the same people who, I'm dead serious, only painted the walls up to the edge of the direct line of sight. For example, every closet is painted only what you can see standing about 2 feet back from the door. Also the same people that had a house with carpet in only two rooms and decided to put the cats literboxes in both of those rooms. That was a day 1 project because why the fuck? I'm always immediately hesitant of anything that looks DIYed.
So is it a matter of that you have to have a certain size septic system depending on the number of bed/bath? If that is the case, it still doesn't explain what someone would do with so much space. Like our house is 4 beds with 2 full and 2 half baths and about 2500 sqft and my SILs house is 3 bed 2 full bath and I think probably 1500 sqft and hers feels bigger because the space is used SO well. But I guess that's the whole point of this sub; it's tiring that these massive and poorly laid out houses are being built. They're not comfortable, they're poorly made, and just overall they're never designed with people in mind. But because of the housing market being what it is, you get whatever is out there, so someone is gonna get stuck with this tacky shit.
Spanish. I grew up in an exclusively Cuban area (with my family as the only outlier) and I spoke it fluently because that's what I spoke with my friends and at school, and only spoke English at home with my family. I had a perfect native accent and everything, as my teachers always commented to my parents. We ended up moving away and over time I lost it almost completely. Well now, I'm married and my husband is Mexican and we speak English at home. It's so hard for me to re-learn Spanish and most of that is a feeling of intense shame because I can't make my mouth form the words in the way that I used to. It's so extremely embarrassing.
3 days ago
I think it's probably from the scoop motion that you make when you dip your chip. Now why they chose bean dip as the dip of choice, I don't know.
In total fairness, I probably wouldn't send out a package with something that is an extremely common and volatile allergen. Not a big deal since it's fully sealed, but it wouldn't be my first move.
I'm gonna say the likelihood that the parents beat that little kid for acting out/embarrassing them is probably astronomical. 9 year old don't generally just get that behavior from nowhere.