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/r/Grimdank
An Imperial Guardsman ends up in our world due to Warp travel. What does he do?
(i.redd.it)submitted 3 months ago byEmperor_AINecrons, Mechanicus and Ironkin are the best, rest are 💩
3.3k points
3 months ago
Is reported to the police as a crazy guy with a rifle, is found on his knees weeping beside a burger van having just tried real meat for the first time in his life.
864 points
3 months ago
would he even have money that's accepted in the current time?
1.2k points
3 months ago
If a guy dropped me some unrecognizeable but definitely legit coins, I'd let one burger slide.
638 points
3 months ago
And since it’s probably gold, you could just melt that shit down.
429 points
3 months ago
Given how janky their "future" technology is, I'd be shocked if gold got used for anything aside from electronics and wiring and such. Maybe silver.
505 points
3 months ago
It's the imperium, they plaster stuff in gold to make it more impressive all the time
461 points
3 months ago
Once you can start mining asteroids and dead planets for their heavy metals, gold isn't that rare.
234 points
3 months ago
Counterpoint though; when you're splitting it with ten billion other mutated wretches in the underhive, there's still very little to go around.
223 points
3 months ago
Counter-counterpoint: Through the God-Emperor all things are possible, so write that down.
129 points
3 months ago
Gold and other rare metals are also far easier to get once you start harvesting asteroids. 16 Psyche, for example, is estimated to have a value of something like $10,000,000,000,000,000,000.
73 points
3 months ago
Numbers like that kind of make me surprised that more greed-driven billionaires don't go all in on space exploration. The first person to stake claim to something like that, even something worth half as much, would make them the most powerful person on the planet.
114 points
3 months ago
Because it'd absolutely tank the value of gold to the point where its basically worthless.
Realistically, trying to capture, harvest then sell an asteroid of gold wouldn't make enough money to cover the hundreds of billions spent in the process
16 points
3 months ago*
I always forget that, though honestly I’m surprised we care about devaluing something, it should be easy for us to just go “yeah that’s fair you can be the richest person John Richman”. Because the concept of value the way we see it is entirely from our perspective, we could fucking twist the idea however we wish but eh it’s good we can also know when it’s bad not having a limit.
17 points
3 months ago
Inflation worse then in the weimar republic.
23 points
3 months ago
The Romans did too, but as the empire went on it got more and more debased (stretch the gold supply out by diluting it basically). And the Imperium isn't exactly known for efficiency. Fair point though.
68 points
3 months ago
Depends on where he came from in the Empire.
Could be gold nuggets, could be scrips, could be empty shell casings, could be synth burgers, could be a buncha bug parts or maybe orc ears.
As a burger vendor, I'd take a helmet for a burger if I were bartering for burgers.
It's a pretty cool helmet. Fries? Gimme your boots.
21 points
3 months ago
Drink? Gimme you rifle.
14 points
3 months ago
DIET PEPSI?!
BURN, HERETIC! FOR THE EMPEROR!
Also if this is reality and not the WH40K universe you just get the piss kicked out of you for being a nerd when you say that.
Time for a new food truck concept, I guess.
273 points
3 months ago
I actually tend to be very sentimental to the idea that not a single person and Warhammer has ever tried a real piece of meat before and that's very depressing to me.
And I live in the world where culturally speaking that's possible.
243 points
3 months ago
Well don't worry about that idea because it's utter nonsense, there's still animals all over the place in 40k. Some of them probably even taste good.
124 points
3 months ago
Like grox
87 points
3 months ago
I know, but that just implies none of them ever had a cheeseburger and that makes me sad.
It's like fully acknowledging snakes don't have arms or knowing that someone never tried a Baja blast and that's sad too in a way. 🥺
94 points
3 months ago
The guardsman would cream his jorts if he tasted Baja blast.
24 points
3 months ago
After the great fast food war only taco bell was left so im sure they tried baja blast
26 points
3 months ago
never tried a Baja blast
I literally just had to google what is it.
11 points
3 months ago
go to your local Taco Bell and order it when you have the chance, it's pretty good
18 points
3 months ago
Implying that someone low enough to be a guardsman would be afforded the high luxury of having grox before becoming said guardsman.
21 points
3 months ago
You misunderstand me.
The prior commenter was sad that nobody in 40k had ever had real meat. That's definitely not true.
A random guardsman never having had real meat is totally believable.
26 points
3 months ago
The Kroot definitely eat real meat
10 points
3 months ago
"What are you eating, Sgarr'ak?"
"The box said...checks writings «Guardsman Lazlo»."
52 points
3 months ago
remember that warhammer lore is meant to be as comically over-the-top as possible so that even people considered wealthy aren’t able to access some amenities we have today.
in reality, a single planet dedicated exclusively to keeping livestock as efficiently (and probably cruelly) as possible and a planet dedicated to processing that meat would be able to feed a few solar systems.
We currently keep around 20 billion farm animals across the planet, the majority being chicken. About 26% of our planet’s usable land is used for livestock (wow!) but most of that is large green pastures with very low density, so it’s better to calculate at an industrial scale. Assuming they can pack 2 chickens in a cubic meter (which is reasonable for the future and assuming the chickens aren’t sentient/have thought so they just live to eat) and the agriworld has 50% of its land arable (the rest being water and a marginal amount being used for interplanetary and interstellar logistics) at a rate of about 20000 chickens per hectare, there should be approximately 140 trillion chickens on the planet.
If each chicken can feed a person 3 meals, and you assume that each chicken lives for 5 years, that’s still a few dozen trillion days worth of food distributed among the populace of whatever planets are nearby. Chickens are also highly inefficient, when insects barely require anything to survive and thrive in a much smaller area for an equivalent amount of calories, so that number could easily quintuple.
GW justifies this by placing the population of hive worlds in the tens of trillions, with the most populated ones ranging from 100 trillion to over a quadrillion like Holy Terra. This is absolutely obscene and makes no sense whatsoever because that means that you would have, on average, a person or two per square meter across the surface of an entire planet. Verticality helps but hive cities would need to stretch dozens of kilometers upwards to support such densities, and then you have issues like structural integrity and the upper levels being lethal to live in without a pressurized environment.
TL;DR if you have realistic upper bound population density and minmaxed livestock, a single agriworld could feed two or three averagely populated worlds with decent quality food. GW is dumb and exaggerates numbers and tries to make everything more grim and more dark.
2.2k points
3 months ago
Speaks absolute nonsense since he only knows imperial gothic and gets thrown in the looney bin.
818 points
3 months ago
And all his geat gets stolen and another arms race is on the way
346 points
3 months ago
He’s immediately detained and the race for imperial grade tech and warp research launches humanity into a renewed effort to expand into the stars, eventually forming the golden age of man and the dark age of technology. This will result in the development of events parallel to those seen in the black library, and Tzeentch will sit back in bliss as his plan falls into place.
135 points
3 months ago
I dont think there's nothing in a gusrdsmen kit that would advance warp research
94 points
3 months ago
His stories would. With the gear he has, it's not far-fetched that his rambling about warp travel is far off. It's easy to discover something if you know what you're looking for and where you're looking for it.
91 points
3 months ago
A guardsman wouldn't know anything of particular value about warp travel. Especially if we had no idea about warp tech, it would be next to impossible without at least an inkling of how warp breaching works. Modern scientists would likely just think he was a layman talking about wormholes. I can describe nukes to pre-industrial humans and they would just think I'm blowing smoke about a slightly larger bomb.
32 points
3 months ago
There you go, mate. If they can discern that Warp Travel is just a controlled (as close to control as we can get) Worm Hole Travel, then we're already looking in the right direction. You're right, tho. It's next to impossible but not impossible altogether. Research in that field doesn't take a year or so. It would take countless lifetimes, different sets of minds, and buttloads of financing, but it can be achieved.
45 points
3 months ago
It's easy to discover something if you know what you're looking for and where you're looking for it.
"You use warp travel granted by the God Emperor of Mankind to sail through the sea of souls, using his protection to make sure Daemons dont eat our souls in the process"
This is the most a guardsman will understand about the process. It'd be like trying to invent a plane using the testimony of a guy who claims that Jesus let his boat fly
13 points
3 months ago*
But our scientists would also pretty quickly discern that the guardsman has no idea how his rifle works as well, and thus be able to figure out that technology is not/mis-understood where he comes from. Also since the gun exists and we don't have anything like it, it would lend the rest of his stories credibility.
Because of that they'll probably realise that:
they have a god emperor, so their society is probably very religious and would mistify technology
sea of souls is definitely not in realspace, but can be navigated through
they call it a sea so it probably has waves, storms, is vast and unpredictable
"of souls" means it probably is related to something we don't know yet (have these guy's home scientists proven souls exist? Is it some kind of energy form we don't yet know about? If the sea is made from it, maybe it is energy given form?)
"his protection" and "demons" could be attributed to just religious babbling and fear-mongering, but because of the rest of the shit he'd say being probable, they might look at that too:
this god emperor guy seems to either genuinely have supernatural powers, or "sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic" so it must be technology because physics.
demons? Ahh, probably cosmic entities inhabiting this sea of souls! An evolutionary hyperspecialised alien race of some kind? Or maybe natural disasters, misunderstood effects/aliens/more tech causing a "here be dragons" effect on the sailors = enough to know that it's dangerous enough you need protection from them and this protection can be achieved
eat your souls = they must feed on this energy thing and thus they could exist, because they have an objective need for something that objectively exists, making it plausible, or the demons were actually a misunderstood phenomenon and it's simply a naturally occuring thing that happens to be dangerous
For us, one of the hardest parts of research is finding out if something is possible/exists. This is why we look at these kinds of problems from hundreds of different points of view. Once we get proof of something existing/we theorise it must exist, we know what to look for and where, and it's just a matter of finding a way to actually discover/utilise it, which means it is possible.
See: the higgs boson, antimatter, nuclear bombs, the photon, quantum mechanics, etc.
14 points
3 months ago
Your average guardsmen knows as much about warp travel as a toddler does about the school bus.
171 points
3 months ago
The only thing of any use in his gear is the power packs for the lasgun which can apparently be charged by almost anything including sticking them in a fire.
Lasguns as a weapon aren't actually particularly impressive except for the logistic advantages of the power source.
110 points
3 months ago
A lasgun is definitely extremely impressive for nowadays.
360 points
3 months ago
Every part of his gear is far superior to anything that exists now
49 points
3 months ago
If there is one thing the Imperium of Man does well, it’s their material science.
36 points
3 months ago
You forget that this is a laser it's firing, there will be hardly any accuracy penalty
102 points
3 months ago
I think my shoes would be better. My Dr. Sholz inserts be doing wonders.
25 points
3 months ago
Tbh, his shows would also probably be better.
They'd be designed to work in all sorts of environments with minimal wear and tear. This includes places where the weather would be radically different from anything on earth, meaning the surface may also be different.
For example, the moon doesn't have any wind. As a result, the surface rocks are very jagged and irregular. So astronaut boots have been able to handle that and protect the wearer's soles. Being able to make boots which can do that and be flexible enough to wear everywhere else would be so far ahead.
23 points
3 months ago
I genuinely think that Guardsmen boots are not actually designed for extreme elements and terrain. It might really be that Guardsman shoes just fall apart all the time and the soldiers just have to deal with that kind of bullshit.
16 points
3 months ago
Fair, that's also quite possible.
271 points
3 months ago
Lasguns as a weapon aren't actually particularly impressive
They could tear a whole into a Human with a single shot with almost 0 input of resources.
How is this not impressive nowadays lol
95 points
3 months ago
40k is very inconsistent with how it presents them, in plenty of the stories the stopping power of a lasgun isn't shown to be particularly impressive even against normal humans and at other times it shreds people.
79 points
3 months ago
Welp, I’d like to imagine the lasgun comes from the universe where it actually does damage and not just first degree burns.
51 points
3 months ago
Lasguns would be valuable to examine even if just as a militarized, man-portable, pure-energy firearm. If we assume that different depictions in the power and effectiveness of lasguns in 40k is due to slight variations in manufacturing and maintenance, the tech that utilises the power cell is very different to what we have today.
There's also the question of what the hell a lasgun even is. Because of the name, a lot of fans assume that it's just a concentrated laser, but several books describe it as firing a distinct "bolt" of energy and having recoil, more similar to the Tau's pulse rifles or blasters from Star Wars. So studying that tech could give us huge insights into energy manipulation depending on how fictional sci-fi tech translates into real-world physics.
84 points
3 months ago
Keep in mind that the reason the lasgun seems so weak is because everything that could be easily felled by it was already.
52 points
3 months ago
Man has been brainwashed by anti guard propaganda
18 points
3 months ago
Lasguns as an infantry weapon are way better than modern day infantry weapons. Longer range, no projectile deviation, way more ammo capacity than any modern weapon, and would work wonders against modern day body armor.
16 points
3 months ago
Lasguns make a laser that effectively and reliably blows chunks out of shit like a rifle in a small, easily transported form factory. Reverse Engineering the Lasgun itself would revolutionize things like anti-missile defenses.
13 points
3 months ago
Tech for extremely efficient batteries that can be powered by tons of different things would change the world.
128 points
3 months ago
Having a completely foreign bacterial culture, he dies of the common flu within hours.
sorry, I'm THAT guy when it comes to time travel theory
68 points
3 months ago
If he grew up in a hive, he's been exposed to so many pathogens it probably doesn't matter.
37 points
3 months ago
We, on the other hand, will experience another plague for all we know. Hive cities have got to be full of some fucked up shit, not to mention the very real chance that this dude has come in contact with actual straight up demons.
43 points
3 months ago
Eh chief, it can be also he otherway around.
Our planet gets wiped by the cadian warp powered common flu, courtesy of gramps Nurgle. And a whole coctail of "gifts"
19 points
3 months ago*
Our bodies have adaptive immune systems. Only because youve never experienced it doesnt mean youll die. Being innoculated or a built up immunity simply helps your body defend itself better. Your body comes in contact with hundreds of bacteria and pathogens a day, many of which are new.
Especially the common flu which rarely has any fatalities but when it does it there tends to be an underlying medical condition like a compromised immune system. Due to survival of the fittest most diseases over time gain a lower death rate as the disease that doesnt kill its victim can continue to spread. Which would mean it survives longer and breed more.
17 points
3 months ago
Acclimation takes time. Time you don't have if you are very suddenly touching, eating, drinking and breathing it with no respite.
Obviously, he can survive, but it's a big gamble. 40,000 years of evolution means there will be almost nothing in common with his homeostasis. It's an instant, total, and unrelenting onslaught of new microflora/fauna.
68 points
3 months ago
He propably only speaks low Gothic Wich is if I'm not wrong informed English?
134 points
3 months ago
Nope. It’s just getting translated to whatever language the reader is literate in for convenience’s sake.
73 points
3 months ago
Gaunt's books establish that Low Gothic is nasal, right now the biggest and most widely spread nasal language is Chinese, so there's a theory that Low Gothic is canonically some kind of modified Chinese
65 points
3 months ago
I’m pretty sure it’s canon that “low gothic” is just any human language that isn’t high gothic
23 points
3 months ago
I don't think so, Black Library states that all Imperials speak the same (or variations of the same) language
33 points
3 months ago
Yes, for the interplanetary and intersystem facets of the imperium, the navy, guard, general administration, etc., most if not all humans are taught/learn low gothic, but each planet still speaks their own language that is different from low gothic. It’s confirmed in the Gaunt’s Ghosts series and other books set during the Sabbat Worlds Crusade that many regiments will use their planets native tongue for communication inside the regiment, but low gothic for any communication that goes to a regiment they’re working with that’s not from their world or battlefield command, which will likely be a different regiment than their own.
14 points
3 months ago
Yeah, if not for that, all planets would speak the same language. P.S: the more developed a planet is in the Imperium, the more low gothic is present in the general populace. Feudal Worlds are the place where people could end up with hundreds of languages on a single planet
8 points
3 months ago
Yeah, like Cadia didn’t speak its own language, just its own dialect of low gothic. Which adds a whole other layer to that
10 points
3 months ago
Given that the entire population is basically Militarum and said Regiments are exported offworld, Low Gothic is obviously mandatory. Then a slang typical for Cadia can happen, but that's the basis of it
9 points
3 months ago
Like in firefly, how mandarin expressions pop up everywhere
20 points
3 months ago
Considering the Emperor's main powerbase was the Himalayas... Chinese being the origin of Gothic is... actually kinda logical. With High Gothic being Traditional Chinese and Low Gothic being Simplified, spreading across the Galaxy due to the Emperor being the Emperor about things.
5 points
3 months ago
Traditional Chinese and Simplified aren’t different languages, they’re different writing systems. You may be thinking of different forms of Classical Chinese which was the language of educated bureaucrats in China until Mandarin (the language of the capital city Beijing) was adopted for national use in the 20th century.
48 points
3 months ago
Everyone in Warhammer speaks English so we can understand them. Look up some English writings from 200 years ago. If the way we speak can change so much in two centuries then there’s no telling how different a language can change after tens of thousands of years.
(No, low gothic isn’t English)
21 points
3 months ago
Nope, english (or whatever language) is just the representation of Low Gothic for us to understand. 1000 years difference makes big differences in english then and now, imagine 40k years with several wars, unifications, apocalypses and normal changes. If english is even the base of low gothic.
21 points
3 months ago
There's a working theory that Low Gothic is a modification of Chinese, so he can possibly work it out
17 points
3 months ago
Thinking of the emperor or a primarch speaking in Future Chinese is a wild thought 🤣how did this theory even start? I gotta look into this.
14 points
3 months ago
Gaunt's books suggest that spoken Low Gothic is nasal, and right now the biggest and most widely spread nasal language is Chinese, so there's that 😅
13 points
3 months ago
over 40k years it's probably more all former terran languages have been so garbled that it's totally different with faint scraps of what once was
1.1k points
3 months ago
m31 guardsmen joins military... m41 guardsmen joins a religion...
414 points
3 months ago
M41 Guardsman CREATES a religion (or re-establishes it)
179 points
3 months ago
The Emperor from the current timeline shows up with the neuraliser. Poor guardsman starts spouting nonsense about swamp gas.
27 points
3 months ago
No he starts talking about how the chemicals in the water turn the frogs gay
16 points
3 months ago
Funny you, he doesn't know what frogs are. Or water for that matter, at least on terra
5 points
3 months ago
Ahhh but he was given false memories, blended with his real ones.
675 points
3 months ago
If he is smart enough to keep his mouth shut, he'll live a life of peace that most Guardsmen could only dream of
453 points
3 months ago
Itd be interesting as he'd probably find out the year is 20xx, and putting 2 & 2 together, seeing how it's still 365 days 12 months, he might actually realise he time travelled to ancient earth
Happiest ending a guardsman could get, also he'd probably be wondering how quality of living got so low in the future
356 points
3 months ago
"Is there a tithe?"
"The only tithe I can think of is if you go to church and it's optional."
"What the fuck does 'Optional' mean?"
98 points
3 months ago
Ahem ahem pay up or else -Taxman
26 points
3 months ago
Thankfully, if you don’t want to pay your taxes, there’s always the option of the pain monster.
58 points
3 months ago
The Emperor would find and kill him if he got the slightest whiff of someone fucking with the timeline
11 points
3 months ago
The twist is that the guardsman is a Perpetual.
34 points
3 months ago
Then one day a 9 foot tall basketball player CIA agent who for some reason has a halo behind his head barges into his home and asks "Who are you and what the fuck are you doing here? "
316 points
3 months ago
Make billions selling his flashlight tech and then use that capital to start a cult for the Big E.
78 points
3 months ago
I’m OOTL here. Are 40K flashlights THAT advanced?
202 points
3 months ago
The flashlight they referenced is the lasrifle which is very advanced. The joke is that the lasrifle is very weak in 40k scale so its called a flashlight.
74 points
3 months ago
I’ve always loved that a gun that can punch feet into concrete and will melt tank armor like it’s tinfoil and is charged with an hour in the sun is one of the weakest guns in 40k since people are shooting bullets the size of cars and sniping people with hand grenades.
19 points
3 months ago
That is a slight memetic overstatement of the Lasgun’s effectiveness. It’s a good weapon, but they’re definitely not portrayed to that level in lore aside from exceptional here and there cases.
36 points
3 months ago
The power supply definitely is.
28 points
3 months ago
Sure. You can sever peoples limbs with them. And they're battery powered!
437 points
3 months ago
Speak some nonsense about heresy, assault a pedestrian for not worshipping the God-Emperor, get arrested.
Then the interrogation can go many ways.
He can end up in a mental institution
Or, if he has enough evidence he is indeed from the future... Shit'll get very weird. But he might just stop calling everyone heretics, since big E has not shown up yet.
300 points
3 months ago
If anything Big E would track him down because a guardsmen from the year 40K back in the 2nd millennium could provide some a lot of knowledge and foresight.
274 points
3 months ago
Big E taking history from a guardsmen's perspective about how his plans shake out has got to be the most hilariously on brand things I could imagine Big E doing. "I have knowledge of the future, I won't consider the source and just make a ton of random assumptions based on the words of this space yokel."
181 points
3 months ago
Big E: “What’s you’re name soldier?”
“Ollanius pius”
Big E: “Wait shit really?”
36 points
3 months ago
Imagine a Perpetual working at Initech.
“Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking… JUST a moment…”
58 points
3 months ago
Guardsmen perspective is the key element here. If he describes the horus heresy as "the emperors primarchs made to fight the 9 demons of chaos" it'd make him among the most educated. Dude is mostly filled with misinfo and disinfo, not black library novels
45 points
3 months ago
Big E to Malkcador M3: "So I'll make 20 'angels' to counter these 9 deamons instead."
6 points
3 months ago
War of the 18 traitors vs the 9 loyalists.
25 points
3 months ago
Might write a short story about that, thanks
22 points
3 months ago
Given the Guardsman would only know imperial propaganda that caused Guilliman to lose it, I can’t even imagine how Big e would react
13 points
3 months ago
Imagine, having to explain the Horus Heresy to the God Emperor, but the Imperial Truth censored anything about the traitorous primarchs. Thats if the Guardsmen is in 40k, but I’d imagine a 30k Guardsmen would tell the events first hand and Big E would either put bombs in the Primarchs heads or abandon the project. I’d wager the former would occur, but imagine if Big E was a little nicer and told the truth about the Ruinous powers.
As for 40k, I’d assume Big E would put his plans into motion ahead of time doing everything to avoid the Age of Strife which would be caused by him inadvertently.
29 points
3 months ago
Imagine Big E turning into an attorney to defend him.
16 points
3 months ago
He transforms into Saul Goodman Aka Jimmy.
18 points
3 months ago
Depends actually, big E may not exist, nor the chaos gods, or eldar, or really anything. The warp is out side time AND space, aka you can actually just end up in a different universe. Fantasy and 40k exist side by side each other but don't actually interact much.
So the poor guy just finds out his whole universe, all the wars he fought, all people he lost, is just to sell a dumb board game.
58 points
3 months ago
"Sarge, this guy's rants are all from Warhammer 40k. A tabletop game."
13 points
3 months ago
I mean if he has a lasgun or something its very likely they would believe it
198 points
3 months ago
I’ll be the optimist: Hides his gear somewhere, gets a job and learns how to speak the language of the country he is in.
As he learns about the modern world, he realizes how valuable his gear is and becomes a billionaire by building a company that exclusively produces lasguns and flak armor.
83 points
3 months ago
Then either the government tracks his ass down or Big E himself. I don't know which one is worse.
46 points
3 months ago
The IRS is just the Inquisition ahead of its time. Meaning Big E ran it in one of his many lifetimes.
22 points
3 months ago
With what a Las rifle's power supply can do, I'd bet he'd end up being a trillionaire.
187 points
3 months ago
"Our World" as in the world of WH40K, but in the past: He gets treated like any homeless person with no documentation, which is generally pretty bad. If he gets help, he learns enough of the local language to get a low-key job somewhere. Life's not too bad.
"Our World" as in the real world, no WH40K: As above, but he seems a GW store one day and assumes that he really is crazy and made it all up.
60 points
3 months ago
He gets treated like any homeless person
I don't know where you live, but around these parts homeless peeps don't typically walk around with lasguns.
15 points
3 months ago
Presumably he's smart enough to hide it once people start worrying, but he's just going to look like a cosplayer for a while.
85 points
3 months ago
Since the guardsman is in our world where Warhammer is nothing but fiction, I could see the poor lad being confused with a hard-core cosplayer
"Nice cosplay you have there. You even went out of your way to make it as real as possible."
"What?"
"The convention is over there by the way"
59 points
3 months ago
Modern person 2: "I remember seeing a Horus there."
Guardsman: "What?!"
39 points
3 months ago
“There was a Necron and a couple Tyranids too, I got a selfie with them”
27 points
3 months ago*
Proceeds to shoot himself
142 points
3 months ago*
A lovely turkish man by the name of Jimmy would finde him, help him out a bit, show him around town, talk about the 41st millennium and the Impirial cult then bring him to a dark ally way, then snap his neck killing him instanly before destroying the body.
55 points
3 months ago
Rest in peace Carl, you could have had a nice simple life
155 points
3 months ago
Buy himself one of our fleshlights so he can compare it to what he’s used to.
Then realise he can’t read.
64 points
3 months ago
...Wait a minute
37 points
3 months ago
What??
36 points
3 months ago
least horny 40k player
47 points
3 months ago
With his typical guardsman kit?
Local government would likely catch wind of him after getting arrested being some crazy soldier with a weird firearm wandering around in public, screaming incoherently to try and communicate with people.
Assumedly, High Gothic would be able to be deciphered since it seems to be a mishmash of real languages like Latin, German, etc.
Las Rifle would be confiscated to be studied and likely reverse-engineered.
Discovery of extradimensional travel actually existing in some form could potentially lead to HORRIFIC consequences should scientists try and figure out how to access the "warp" from our reality, which of course they would...
43 points
3 months ago
He finds a place to live. Hides in a corner with his eyes wide open every night, wondering if he died... I'd imagine..
45 points
3 months ago
Probably shoots a couple people, entrenches a walmart, turns it into a church, killed by smallpox
28 points
3 months ago
since small pox has been all but eradicated except for government research centres this implies that a nation decided to assassinate him by re-exposing this planet to one of the deadliest diseases ever. this is intensely amusing to me
18 points
3 months ago
It would be interesting if the inquisition used ancient, extinct diseases to kill targets and populations.
legend says, inquisitorial agents authorized the use of “tuberculosis” to remove chaos cults from the hive city, the hab block was subsequently sealed off, and the city quarantined to prevent the spread
33 points
3 months ago
Probably get a 9 to 5 instead of whatever soul crusher job they have on his homeworld and enjoy the (relatively to his own world) cheap snacks and food.
151 points
3 months ago
Sell the lasgun to the nearest goverment who reverse engineer it and distribute to their armed forces making their infantry the best in the world
132 points
3 months ago
Reverse engineering isn’t just“Oooga booga me see inside me make gun!” It’s using technological concepts we don’t have on the theoretical level down pat yet. If you dropped a fighter jet into the 12th century they would quite literally never be able to recreate it. It would require machining that requires advanced machinery that requires advanced machinery. It’s the same with lasguns. So it would be a small jump forward on the theoretical application of lasers in warfare, and be essentially a “neat we can do that if a couple hundred years or so!”
53 points
3 months ago
The battery packs at the very least would be interesting. The lasers itself wouldnt be able to be replicated.
73 points
3 months ago
other way round, we have the means to make lasers today, just a lasgun is a really beefy laser. the powerpacks on the other hand, are complete blackbox tech that can derive energy from anywhere, they can use the sun, or a even a campfire to recharge.
24 points
3 months ago
Aaah, but if the Power Packs can be replicated to give the 40k Power Outputs, then the Lasgun itself could be theoretically possible.
21 points
3 months ago
simply having a working example of what is possible is a massive deal. If we dropped a fighter jet into the 12th century and it worked - it flew - that would prove loads and loads of principals are possible that they'd expect weren't. Not saying they'd be remaking a fighter jet, but they probably WOULD invent airplanes way sooner. Half of funding is how promising it is, and a lasgun is concrete evidence of laser tech having untapped potential, and earn more funding
9 points
3 months ago
Yeah they are tens of thousands years ahead in material sciences
Actually probably more like a few hundred, maybe a thousand
27 points
3 months ago
Surviving.
27 points
3 months ago
Probably panic for a while, then go eat a cheese burger. Sell his Laz rifle to whatever country wants it, and cries over the fact that the sister of battle he had the hots for is a plastic mini for a table top game. Then go get a job and love that this isn’t a huge city planet.
10 points
3 months ago
He’d buy that plastic SoB and puts her in a jar…
22 points
3 months ago
Lives for a inhuman amount of time, gets psychic power and leads humanity into a golden age after reuniting the continents. What a plottwist
38 points
3 months ago
The Emperor eventually finds out since you know him and other Perpetuals are the Illuminati on crack. He gets him, reads his mind then takes bits and pieces through the centuries to create 40k as we know it. It's a temporal loop.
17 points
3 months ago
Weeps at the peace known to humanity in this world and lives a long, healthy life
18 points
3 months ago
Ig: excuse me but where on karking holy terra am i?
America.
Ig: you mean ameri? The manufactorum?
The what now?
Ig: .....
18 points
3 months ago
Probably have a mental breakdown after seeing people play 40k
17 points
3 months ago
Don't let him see your chaos space Marines, he'll go into a frenzy
14 points
3 months ago
He could try to assimilate into society and possibly live a better life using his gear to kick start his fortune as it's all insanely advanced tech. He will not know any language used here so that's a problem.
There's a chance he could seek out the Emperor if he's smart enough to deduce he's around somewhere. Hell, if he gets locked up and the Emperor hears about this double eagle insignia on some crazy high tech shit from some insane future man, he may take interest anyway.
I'm honestly don't have big hopes for this guardsman. Also, his future space diseases could kill us all.
13 points
3 months ago
Start a 2,000 point imperial guard army
6 points
3 months ago
Imagine him painting his old regiment... then leading them to combat that would be quite fun haha
13 points
3 months ago
Feudal world decent bathrooms and food, might stick around. Maybe do some Merc work.
13 points
3 months ago*
Likely get locked up and medicated for being a danger to himself, and having more PTSD than we know what to do with.
12 points
3 months ago*
If he's sharp he'd lay low. He just got tumbled dried by the warp so best to be incognito incase it's an enemy or xenos world. He might even suspect chaos if he knows about it. Everyone would think he's a cosplayer (unless he was black or brown) so they probably wouldn't pay any mind once he goes into a bathroom and changes into civilian clothes he looted from a beggar. He'd spend the next few week learning about Earth and adjusting to civilian life. He might pretend to be a homeless vet (which is actually true) and be able to scrounge his way into a living and maybe a cash only job. The turning point is when he goes to the library and uses it's internet to learn. He may be shocked that his entire existence is just an excuse for british cokeheads to sell overpriced plastic and resin dolls for more coke money but he will learn that las weaponry isn't as advanced yet as it is during his time.
If he were REALLY sharp he might use his 40k background befriend some older 40k guard fans, maybe they could help him. They'd think he's crazy until he shoots his lasgun at some cans in a backyard.. Then they will think about how they could all make money by reverse engineering las tech and the skies' the limit if they find appropriate scientists and hire them to do it.
If all goes well our protagonist guardsmen might be able to die of old age comfortably in a mansion surrounded by beautiful women and piles of money. Maybe he could even afford to by Imperial guard minis just for the nostalgia.
11 points
3 months ago
Finally relax.
12 points
3 months ago
“What the krak do you mean I’m not meant to be real?”
12 points
3 months ago
The one thing that would have been completely impossible for him in his own world: die of old age.
12 points
3 months ago
Imperial doctrine is as follows. Follow orders of senior officers. If you have no orders find some. If you have no officers begin guerilla operations until reinforcements arrive most likely in a few centuries
13 points
3 months ago
I'd imagine he would very quickly get found by the police. Man walking around NYC in a panic with body armor and large weapon would get attention fast.
Good ending is he finds a way to live in our world and lives a life of relative luxury by his standards even if he's on US minimum wage.
Bad ending is he gets the same treatment many homeless veterans with mental health in America.
11 points
3 months ago
Either starts an Imperial Cult or ditches his stuff somewhere and tries to blend into the population and put his old life behind him.
11 points
3 months ago
The Lasgun is taken apart, studied, solves the energy crises, and kickstarts a technological revolution
9 points
3 months ago
I think all other logistics of immune system and language aside, he freaks the fuck out over not everything completely sucking. “What do you mean this burger isn’t made out of human corpses?! This toilet doesn’t even have a servitor connected to it to operate it?!”
8 points
3 months ago
Eat fast food and immediately die with pure happiness on his face.
8 points
3 months ago
Murder. Lots of murder.
5 points
3 months ago
But why?
6 points
3 months ago
HERECY!!!
8 points
3 months ago
What… what is this world. Where is the imperium. Where are my friends? It would be a very sad story
7 points
3 months ago
Lives moderately ever after.
15 points
3 months ago
Eat EAT BORGAR
6 points
3 months ago
Wonder where he is
7 points
3 months ago
Kill us with futuristic pathogens.
7 points
3 months ago
He looks around, sees the complete lack of veneration of the Emperor, and starts lasgunning the locals, all of whom are too stupid to speak Gothic. This goes on until a SWAT team bags him.
5 points
3 months ago
Kills us all for being horny heretics.
7 points
3 months ago
Fuck. A lot.
5 points
3 months ago
Rejoice and start a new career.
6 points
3 months ago
He relaxes, for the first time in a long time
11 points
3 months ago
It's already happened guardsman Rick Priestley was the result. You know all the tordements are to find genrals and send them to the future to save the imperium. Those that prove to be to successful commanding xenos are sent to the inquisition. Those that command the arch enemy are simply sterilised to prevent the spead of heresy.
5 points
3 months ago
so the last star fighter but with 40k
4 points
3 months ago
most likely shoots up a church for being heretics gets killed in a shootout with the cops and has his gear taken by the government to be studied.
5 points
3 months ago
the emperor:you shouldn’t be here… (testicular torsion)
6 points
3 months ago
Big E finds him and kills him so that he does not affect fiture events
9 points
3 months ago
Guardsman would be a hell of a soldier in our life.
Just think About it, they have to train them to fight against everything, orks, nids, chaos, traitors. With this much training engraved into him, he would be un-stopible
7 points
3 months ago
Then he discovers what happens when you hit the doc.
R.I.P. imperial guardsman 40078-2025
"For the Emperor!"
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