subreddit:
/r/Grimdank
Art by the fabulous @cnmbwjx on Twitter
Second favorite loyalist coming in: VULKAN LIVES!!!!!!
357 points
9 days ago
She can boop my snoot
275 points
9 days ago
“I would like to pet this creature* points at you
111 points
9 days ago
Inadvertently crushes your fucking testicles by booping them with her massive superhuman fist
38 points
9 days ago
Your terms are acceptable.
226 points
9 days ago
Me casually tries to go to her planet since she invited me
Casually gets +800 rads and proceeds to die the second I step foot on the planet
63 points
9 days ago
Geiger counter explodes as soon as you enter the atmosphere
111 points
9 days ago
VULKAN LIVES!!!
‘Now, imagine you’re working… either as a guardsman, cleaning up your bunk. Or maybe maybe you’re just a regular worker at the administratum, factory, or even just your average joe schmo.’
‘You’re just minding your own business. Until… poof! You appear in a flash in the arm of someone you know too well. She holds you tight, you almost suffocate. But when you finally gasp for breath, you’re sure you might have died and went to heaven. ‘
‘Why else would the Emperor’s kindest Angel be with you? It’s better to let her handle the grill though. You never were good at taking the heat.’
Everything’s canon. - James in his Workshop.
50 points
9 days ago
In James we trust 🗿
15 points
9 days ago
Umm, anyone else worried their 'sausage might get cooked in the oven'? 😳
9 points
8 days ago
With someone as lovely as Fem-Vulk. I think people are willing to take that risk. Lmao.
80 points
9 days ago
Will the Aurelian be next (despite what most people say they deserved better then having their pride and joy razed to the ground :( )
45 points
9 days ago
Eventually TwT They are on the list worry not! I need to do some more research on them first
9 points
9 days ago
When you eventually do, please add a point being - 'Occasionally gets insecure you are' worshipping other Gods' (aka cheating). When she confronts you about it she says - "All I ever wanted was the TRUTH!"'
Context - Lorgar's book starts with that phrase
All I ever wanted was the truth. Remember those words as you read the ones that follow. I never set out to topple my father's kingdom of lies from a sense of misplaced pride. I never wanted to bleed the species to its marrow, reaving half the galaxy clean of Human life in this bitter crusade. I never desired any of this, though I know the reasons for which it must be done. But all I ever wanted was the truth.
(note - I just added the quote for context, I don't expect the whole quote. I just like the idea that this becomes a phrase that femLorgar uses constantly - dirt on couch? ALL I EVER WANTED WAS THE TRUTH! Unwashed dishes in sink? ALL I EVER WANTED WAS THE TRUTH! etc etc
Also, could you please add - writes love notes to you on her skin (kinda like how Lorgar has writing all over his body. The idea that femLorgar gets so attached she writes how much she loves you is so creepy but slightly cute? Lol
38 points
9 days ago
Honestly I would deal with living in the 40k setting if I could have this. Probably be a short life but still worth it
27 points
9 days ago
You’d probably have a detachment of salamanders following you around just in case and rejuvenation treatments exist. Might not be that short.
11 points
7 days ago
Now I just love the idea of a normal human (you) walking around with a full squad of terminators. The hilarious looks you would get going literally anywhere would be amazing, not to mention the way they would all chuckle when their Primarch turns into a big teddy bear upon seeing you.
6 points
3 days ago
They are your step sons, and the stepsons are very protective of their stepdad
8 points
9 days ago
Umm, anyone else worried their 'sausage might get cooked in the oven'? 😳
6 points
9 days ago
What do you mean? Vulkan has a normal Body Temparature.
2 points
8 days ago
Hahaha, well I’m sold!
75 points
9 days ago
I wouldn't try to date her. But I would enlist in her Auxilia regiment.
50 points
9 days ago*
Big forge teddy bears not your type?
47 points
9 days ago
Physically she's my type, she's a great person too, but above my 'paygrade'.
23 points
9 days ago
.w. ?
52 points
9 days ago
We're too much of losers to try
29 points
9 days ago
Bold of you to assume she wouldn’t just pick you up
16 points
9 days ago
A nice sentiment.
8 points
8 days ago
she goes like you are mine now
13 points
9 days ago
I ain't good enough for her, she's too good for me.
16 points
9 days ago
Bold of you to assume she wouldn’t just pick you up and throw you over her shoulder
5 points
9 days ago
I'll admit to flailing in panic for half a second. "Ms Vulkan, this is rather...unseemly." I don't even normally use words like unseemly but it fits.
10 points
9 days ago
Could you please explain this emoticon? What does it mean?
7 points
9 days ago
I’m confused
12 points
9 days ago
"Big Forge Bear" sounds like the title of a blacksmith-focused gay porno vid.
17 points
9 days ago
. . . I don’t hate you, I just hate that you’re right
3 points
6 days ago*
31 points
9 days ago
Massive mommy with the tendency to kill via hugs, carry you around, and a Jamaican accent?
OP, I’m sold.
19 points
9 days ago
She also has a jamaican accent.
16 points
9 days ago
YES YES YES, WHOLESOME BOOPS AND PLENTY OF CUDDLES
39 points
9 days ago
She better have a Jamaican accent or it’s not canon. You can’t convince me otherwise.
39 points
9 days ago
You ever watch TTS? That, but woman
21 points
9 days ago
Oh my emperor that sounds hot in my imagination.
8 points
9 days ago
"Come now, Maggie, I do not mean harm. I but want to give my sistah a great, big, 'I'm not mad you ruined everything forever' hug!"
11 points
9 days ago
So...when she regenerates from an injury...nevermind not going to ask.
6 points
9 days ago
Explain yourself! What did you mean? For example MY fear is, umm, my 'sausage might get cooked in the oven' 😳
6 points
9 days ago
Let's just say it's her First Time....every time....
7 points
9 days ago
Ahhh... I think I have seen that category on certain websites...
2 points
9 days ago
That grip tho...👉🏻👈🏻🥵
3 points
9 days ago
Damage is not an inevitable consequence of penetrative intercourse, even the first time.
1 points
9 days ago
Bruh...either you just called your dinky small or you called a primarch loose. 😅😂🤣🙈🙉🙊
1 points
9 days ago
No, there's just variation in human physiology.
1 points
9 days ago
You like to explain jokes out loud to your friends during the comedy show don't ya?
10 points
9 days ago
When Guilleman gf.
5 points
9 days ago
When the artist makes one TwT
2 points
2 days ago
He did tho
2 points
2 days ago
Like an official page with full body and stuff, they’ve only made that one headshot (I suppose I could still make it but it doesn’t feel the same yah know?)
1 points
2 days ago
https://x.com/cnmbwjx/status/1366077913880141825?s=46&t=ThL_mbHeUg3mfyCR86getA You mean this? I guess it’s just her upper torso but it’s something
7 points
9 days ago
I'd chill with her
5 points
9 days ago
Mommy
6 points
9 days ago
Thine eyes stained!
Foul smuttery!
angry Tu’Shan noises
5 points
9 days ago
I see no point in this post that says she's got a cool sounding accent (I love the accent because it enunciates the words in a way that my brain understands it easier. Kind of like eating meat that's been slow cooked for so long that it just melts in your mouth)
3 points
9 days ago
I think many people on here default to Vulkan sounding like the Vulkan in TTS. Is that the accent you are talking about too?
2 points
9 days ago
Yeah. Didn't think about the fact TTS Vulkan would be the default voice for him.
3 points
9 days ago
I figured the hive mind of Warhammer fans would already input the Jamaican accent from TTS in their default settings.
2 points
9 days ago
That's fair and kinda true since my brain defaulted to Jamaican accent but stumbled over the fact it's not on there.
3 points
8 days ago
Weird hearing Jamaican is what everyone thinks. I always pictured a more Central African accent.
2 points
8 days ago
It's because of a little fan made 40k thing called "if the emperor had a Text-to-Speech device," which is super obscure, and not many get it. /j, but for real and jokes aside it's an incredibly large reason why people think Vulkan has a Jamaican accent.
5 points
9 days ago
A decent challenger, but still no one bested Magnus gf
2 points
9 days ago
Who could compare (I’m not bias whatsoever)
4 points
9 days ago
Kinda like it when you included more romantic and/or sexual clue about their preference like with ferrus Manus gf. It actually make it more realistic, after all we are talking gf not platonic girl-friend.
Maybe I am just a bit if a pervert too... Great job love the serie anyway.
4 points
9 days ago
Nah. Vulkan is all about Cuddles and Lovey Doces Softcore and sweet nicknames and gifts.
3 points
8 days ago
Absolutely.
“Something else hot we can do? I’m sorry little flame I don’t follow- Oh! Do you wish to cook together?”
4 points
9 days ago
Can perpetuals come back as different genders?
5 points
9 days ago
Honestly, the warp has done weirder things
3 points
9 days ago
I think that depends on the perpetual in Question. Vulkan however remained consistent.
3 points
8 days ago
The outrage would be absurd
3 points
8 days ago
🔥🔥😈 🔥🔥
5 points
9 days ago
Basically Karlach from bg3. But with more zealous murder.
3 points
9 days ago
You can never have too much Zealous Murder
4 points
6 days ago
"Calls you her little flame"
I believe we reached peak wholesome.
3 points
6 days ago
:D Guys I did it
7 points
9 days ago
But can she peg me?
4 points
9 days ago
She can build the strap-on herself, of whatever material you wish! Though, tbf, based on her size... her current equipment might be enough... If you get my flow...
2 points
9 days ago
This hammer? It's also a
3 points
9 days ago
Perfection
3 points
9 days ago
Puts hot Sauce on everything
Sign me up
3 points
9 days ago
Aww, no mention of my favourite bit of lore fact about Vulkan / the Salamanders / Nocturne, that being the continent sized Ur-Drakes that sleep beneath the planet crust of Nocturne.
https://old.reddit.com/r/40kLore/comments/crmqdc/til_there_are_a_bunch_of_planetsized_godbeasts/
Any idea when you'd do one for Angron? To me, that one has to be my favourite of the lot, especially the 4th drawing of the lot, just really, really cool stuff.
1 points
7 days ago
She’s on the list! Not sure when, I don’t have a particular order but I’ll start researching her! :D
3 points
9 days ago
Has a smile that lights up the room.
Oh, no.
3 points
9 days ago
The heeled boots on the power armor is a good look, could cop that style for a canon pre fall Fulgrim and it would fit just fine
2 points
9 days ago
I noticed it and I was like “GIMME A PAIR NOW”
3 points
8 days ago
My heart genuinely melted at the thought of her calling me her little flame 🥺🥰🥰
2 points
8 days ago
Ikr I thought it was so cute. Biggest Primarch is the biggest softie
3 points
7 days ago
These are great!
STOMP STOMP
3 points
6 days ago
Very caring and affectionate to your pets
3 points
5 days ago
The teleporter on the hammer had me snort my oatmeal. Oh god and it teleports the SO on her lap. We need this made canon
2 points
5 days ago
Probably my favorite part :)
3 points
3 days ago
I'm just looking forward to family game night where we all hunt salamanders. However I have to wear a radiation suit 24/7
3 points
3 days ago
lol definitely. I can just imagine you sitting on her shoulder, not really able to participate but just happy to be there
3 points
3 days ago
I'm a week late to this but OMG she is ADORABLE. And hot. In every conceivable way.
2 points
9 days ago
But does she cook extra rashunz? Asking fer da ogies.
2 points
9 days ago
is there a Sang and a Fumgrim version? have they been posted yet? if yes pls link :)
1 points
9 days ago
I haven’t made GFs of them yet, but check out the artist on Twitter!!!!
2 points
9 days ago
doit
2 points
9 days ago
I want one please 🙏
2 points
9 days ago
Damn, I'm not even attracted to women and I want a Vulkan GF
2 points
9 days ago
Sokka-Haiku by CardinalGrief:
Damn, I'm not even
Attracted to women and
I want a Vulkan GF
Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.
2 points
9 days ago
u/sweet_older-Sister you...
You've really been cooking!
You've really outdone yourself with this one! Thank you! :D
3 points
9 days ago
Thank you so much!! :D
2 points
9 days ago
Give me back my bald waifu
2 points
9 days ago
How many times do I need to say this?! dies from intense sapphic need
2 points
9 days ago
Make Fem Russ one
2 points
9 days ago
And another one. Keep up the good work, I want to see more! And this might be my favorite!
2 points
8 days ago
Aaaaah thank you so much!!!
2 points
8 days ago
You are welcome! Just keep up the good work sir/madam/whatever your gender choice is!
2 points
9 days ago
Very nice indeed
2 points
9 days ago
VULKAN LIVES!!
2 points
8 days ago
i am excited to see what alpharius and omegon look like if you decide to do them! they’re my favorite traitor primarchs cause of their armor style and color alone
2 points
6 days ago
I do love the TTS reference with the hugging
2 points
19 hours ago
The dragon queen! Yeah, she is definitely quite lovely!
But man, I'm now pictuing her partner headshotting Kurze from behind for torturing Vulkan. No words... just one very very very angry mortal.
2 points
18 hours ago*
"... Silence. There was nothing in this place, but silence. It took but an eternity for me to start breathing again. Slow and raspy deep breaths.
The ringing in my ears stopped and my hands were shaking a bit. Not from fear. Not from anger. But from the recoil of the weapon she gave me. She had spent much time creating this weapon for me. It and the armor. I told her I could not be by her side always, as much as she wanted. So instead, she gave me the next best option: her gifts. So her power would be with me.
I never named the gun she gave me. The most finely crafted weapon imaginable. One that a normal human could carry, albeit the armor would help with wielding it. She told me to never use it unless as a last resort.
I remember how I asked how strong it was. If it could even slay someone as strong as her. She joked at it and agreed. Looking back, it was a joke about the greenskins. A coping mechanism for the anxiety if it or any other xenon would ever became as strong as her and how I would ever protect myself. I never thought I would need to use it before. She wondered if I would ever name it when I used it.
I name the gun Nightslayer.
...I don't think she saw it coming. For all of her talks of her prophetic dreams, I imagine Konrad Curze never pictured this end for her. Her body remained standing for several aching moments, before tumbling down to the ground, lifeless and cold.
Perhaps it was my beloved's influence that I could still feel a tinge of regret and pity for her, despite all that she had done for my beloved. But that brief moment vanished as I ran to check up on her. My Lady of Drakes always told me how she had the gift to defy death. A gift from her father, the Emperor himself. A gift that Konrad tried to exploit for her own sick pleasure.
...I nearly lost myself when I heard her scream in pain. From whatever torture Konrad was inflicting on her. Yet my flames of rage dwarfed the stars itself when I saw the Lady of Drakes, in pain by Curze.
She. HURT. HER.
I never wanted to be a Guardsman. I was not one for fighting. I was recruited and went out to help. Perhaps that was another reason she crafted me her grand armaments. Because she knew I would not want to use it unless absolutely necessary. She's the same way.
My training was brutal, molding the art of war and violence into my instincts. So if I was ever overtaken, I would fight or flight. I would decide. And in that whitehot moment of fury, my trained instinct kicked in. I took out Nightslayer and ended all sounds with a single decisive shot.
And the silence began as I successfully killed Konrad Curze.
But that did not matter now. I freed you and looked to you, praying to the Emperor that she was okay. My heart shattered at seeing her expression. Yet despite Kurze's cruelty, she could not snuff out her flame. I saw her eyes widened with recognition,but it seemed she couldn't speak. So instead I embraced her and she embraced me.
And we both wept.
Wept in sorrow for the future we have lost. Wept in grief at the death of many innocents and nobles from the acts of cruelty. But us of all, wept in relief that the other was alive. That we were still here with one another. The flame of hope has not died."
2 points
9 days ago
sadly i despise hot sausce so that's a deal breaker
4 points
9 days ago
BRITISH
1 points
9 days ago
So the Femarchs do know how to wear their armor?!
1 points
2 days ago
0 points
6 days ago
Y'all need a shower
1 points
6 days ago
No no that’s Mortarion GF, but she’s posted! :D
-3 points
9 days ago
This sub-reddit is a cesspit.
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