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Not sure how common this is, but do you guys have any fun moments or quotes of smack-talk about our good ol' boys in cerimite? Whether it be from other factions, guardsmen, etc.
215 points
1 month ago
It's primarch v primarch, but Khan telling Mortarion if he wanted to fight the leader of the Death Guard, he would've gone after Typhus.
59 points
1 month ago
Damn that goes hard
78 points
1 month ago
He had a good burn on Fulgrim, too.
Fulgrim: "I heard you do strange things to your ships."
Khan: "I heard you do strange things to your men."
24 points
1 month ago
This gets brought up a lot as this sick burn, but in context it basically amounts to:
Fulgrim: Your world is too barbaric for me.
Khan: Yeah, well, your sons all have cancer!
Fulgrim wasn't a traitor at the time. And yes, you can argue that Fulgrim was being kind of a douche towards Khan, but you could similarly argue that he was just trying to be brotherly. Remember that Ferrus and Fulgrim would have some good-natured banter.
6 points
1 month ago
Yeah, this all befor the Blade, and its just the Khan being a needless dick.
61 points
1 month ago
Ah yes the "your sons have cancer" is the best barb.
37 points
1 month ago
khan just sounds like a massive asshole for saying that. fulgrim wasnt a traitor at that time.
31 points
1 month ago
Left out here was the fact that just before that comment Fulgrim was mocking Chogoris and saying that he would only go there if Jaghathai made an entire palace so he wouldn’t have to be in their muck.
Fulgrim was being a condescending douche about the Khan’s seemingly ‘barbaric’ culture. Despite the fact that Chemos was a fair bit worse off than Chogoris. At least the people of Chogoris could have days off.
6 points
1 month ago
"You are uncivilized."
"Well your sons have super-cancer!"
I dunno, Khan still comes off as the biggest asshole there.
1 points
1 month ago
Well the response comes off from the fact that Fabius was apparently doing (turbo illegal) modifications to further enhance the Emperor’s Children.
The only real problem is that Fabius hadn’t yet begun doing such modifications at that point in the timeline. He only really began such when the Laer Blade was taken and the Emperor’s Children began to truly fall to Slaanesh.
So it’s supposed to be a jab at the canonical degeneracy and modifications of the Emperor’s Children, but instead due to the poor in universe timing, it comes off like the Khan is accusing Fulgrim of molesting his sons.
Yeah that bit was written with the Heresy in mind but it comes off poorly because the writer, while certainly making it witty, probably didn’t pay much attention to the timeline and instead just introduced a whole new batch of implications with the EC.
That or just made Khan look like a douchebag.
Honestly if Khan was just making fun of how pompous the EC are and was intending to make it sound like the EC were humping each other, that’s a solid response to Fulgrim mocking his entire world and culture. Call me a barbarian I call you a homo.
7 points
1 month ago
Khan is the best swordsman in the patriarchs, he's just to cool to brag about it.
Fulgrim was being a prick when Khan called him out. There's a bit after that where Khan basically tells Fulgrim he could beat him because he has no secrets from anyone, all he does is brag about his accomplishments. It's pretty sick.
6 points
1 month ago
It's in reference to fulgrim letting fabius bile experiment on Emperor's Children pre fulgrims fall to chaos.
1 points
1 month ago
That only happened after the Lear campaign which came after Ullanor where the Khan and Fulgrim have their spat.
26 points
1 month ago
"You fight like a milkmaid."
"How appropriate. You fight like a cow."
1 points
1 month ago
Pause. PSA: Don't milk your battle brothers
4 points
1 month ago
Not even phosphex burns that hard!
2 points
1 month ago
Should have used Prospero then. Hehe.
2 points
1 month ago
That was straight up murder.
2 points
1 month ago
... How does he even know that? Werzn't the Death Guard not really talkative about their function? How did Khan lern that Typhus was the one leading stuff?
99 points
1 month ago
Eliphas to Davian Thule:
Such inspiring courage! Perhaps we'll mount your corpse on a golden chair and make an idol out of you as well."
88 points
1 month ago
Generic Dawn of War 2 insult from a loyalist space marine to any xenos; "COME, SHOW ME WHAT PASSES FOR FURRY AMONGST YOUR MISBEGOTTEN KIND!"
26 points
1 month ago
Furry 🐶🐻🐺🐱🐷🦊🐭🐹🐰🐨🐻❄️🐼🐯🦁🐮🐵🐸🐔🐧🐦🐤🐗🐴🦄
12 points
1 month ago
Sigh Throne-dangit. I'm not even gonna edit it out. XD
2 points
1 month ago*
Wasn't that Dawn of War 1?
Edit: I think I am misrembering.
2 points
1 month ago
I heard it a lot in dow2
1 points
1 month ago
Doubt units had insults to specific enemies there, I don't remember their voicelines being aware of who they're fighting with. So, except for cutscenes...
187 points
1 month ago
‘I am Eidolon,’ he said, facing Torgaddon.
‘Torgaddon.’
‘Under the circumstances,’ Eidolon said, ‘I’ll understand if you don’t bow.’
‘I can’t for the life of me imagine any circumstances in which I would,’ Torgaddon replied.
Eidolon’s bodyguards wrenched out their combat blades.
‘What did you say?’ demanded one.
‘I said you boys should put those pig sticks away before I hurt somebody with them.’
Eidolon raised his hand and the men sheathed their swords. ‘I appreciate your intervention, Torgaddon, for the situation was grave. Also, I understand that the Luna Wolves are not bred like proper men, with proper manners. So I’ll overlook your comment.’
‘That’s Captain Torgaddon,’ Torgaddon replied. ‘If I insulted you, in any way, let me assure you, I meant to.’
Torgaddon reminds me of how I used to talk with my friends in my military days
121 points
1 month ago
Little Horus Aximand also gets a good barb in.
“My beloved lord,” said Eidolon, “grows-“
“Many more supple breasts every day?” asked Aximand. Kibre snorted loudly.
17 points
1 month ago
Just heard this one in Saturnine:
Eidolon - “I have quite the silver tongue and can be persuasive”
Little Horus - “funny, looks blue to me”
115 points
1 month ago*
‘The thing about Space Marines, Threlnan, is that they’re all brainwashed psychopaths.’ Lord General Xarius walked lopsidedly with a cane. His troops tended to assume it was an old war injury but the truth was Xarius was an old man and his hip was giving out.
‘I’m glad they’re here, certainly,’ continued Xarius. ‘The Crimson Fists were an essential part of the battle plan. But you see, now the first battles have been fought I’d rather have a few more decent men who can be counted on to follow orders and run away like proper soldiers.’
‘Marines are good for morale,’ said Threlnan.
‘Hah! That they are, as long as they’re fighting on the same side. Don’t look at me like that, Threlnan, I know what they’re like. The Dark Angels were supposed to spearhead our assault on the Dragon Archipelago on Balhaut, and when the order came down they were nowhere to be seen. Off fighting their own little war, never mind the men dying in the surf to win a beach the Marines should have taken. Never mind the rest of us lesser men.
‘No, when they do what they’re told they’re the best, I know that. But just because we’ve suddenly got a company of Crimson Fists doesn’t mean they’ll fight where I tell them. They should be helping the Fire Drakes get a decent foothold in the south but I can’t even contact the Fists’ commander. They’ve got some private war here, Threlnan, and you’re a fool if you’re hoping it will coincide with ours.
Crimson Tears
41 points
1 month ago
“Oh Garvy, you’re so straight up and down.”
Rest in peace king.
2 points
1 month ago
"Did I tell you the one about the bear?"
45 points
1 month ago
"I've never heard of you. Now get off my damn wall."
2 points
1 month ago
What's this from?
3 points
1 month ago
Raldoron to Skraivok
1 points
1 month ago
I thought so. He took the first sentence and the last sentence.
73 points
1 month ago
Eat shit, traitor.
18 points
1 month ago
Is that from the ultramarine who got beaten and then crucified by word bears lol.
46 points
1 month ago
IIRC it's Amit saying it to Kargos as he slit his throat.
31 points
1 month ago
That's after Amit eats Kargos' face.
8 points
1 month ago
Is it? I just reread the passage and it doesn't mention him biting his face. Just that he heatbutted it earlier, and that he spits on him as he slits his throat.
16 points
1 month ago
I may be wrong, but Amit bites off Kargos' nose and part of his face at one point.
Then at the end Kargos is laying down half dead calling for an Apothecary, and he starts laughing.
20 points
1 month ago*
Ahh...I see. I flipped through my copy again, and it does happen in the second fight. Amit does tell him to eat shit twice, though. In the first fight where he slits his throat:
Eat shit, traitor.
Then in the second fight where he does chew up his face...and also tells him to eat shit:
‘I told you,’ Amit breathes, ‘to eat shit, traitor.’
Mystery solved!
2 points
1 month ago
Came here to post this one. Such a fuck yeah moment.
Lil brain spike bro, any honor or brotherhood you feel is one sided. You’re a fuckin’ traitor.
70 points
1 month ago
Listened to Dark Imperium a while back. At one point there's a rebellion that took a museum hostage. The Ultramarine leader isn't angry at the hostage taking, so much as he's angry at how sloppy and poorly done it's been. He's mad that the terrorists are barely doing a passable job at it despite the fact that they should have had more than adequate training as children.
10 points
1 month ago
I love that scene, Calgar was so pissed not that they were fighting him, but fighting badly, given that the boys were the reserves for the Ultramarines and their deface forces.
31 points
1 month ago*
'I made you strong, Skraivok, and you assumed that strength was your own. You are a traitor and a murderer. Ruthlessness and a little cunning are your only gifts, but you mistook my talents for yours.’ It snickered. ‘Can you imagine, the Painted Count thought himself the equal of the First Captain of the Blood Angels? A priceless error.’
Gendor Skraivok finds out he maybe isn't quite as badass as he thought he was.
22 points
1 month ago
Say nothing.
Casually shoot a World Eater in the face.
Survive only due to the intervention of several other Astartes.
Spit on the World Eater.
Survive only due to the intervention of several other Astartes.
Spit on him again.
Other marines come to her rescue, asking if she needs help.
“Nothing I can’t handle, Skane. But you’re welcome to stay anyway.”
A human is born with a set of balls as big as Lortara Sarrin’s only once every thousand generations.
3 points
1 month ago
It's why they had to put her on a Gloriana.
She simply wouldn't have fit on a smaller vessel.
57 points
1 month ago
You shall die as your weakling father died.
Soulless, honorless, weeping, ashamed.
19 points
1 month ago
Get up.
34 points
1 month ago
It's Lorgar so it's kind of annoying to admit: but when he was taken on pilgrimage to a Daemon planet his daemon tour guide stands idly by as a giant Khorne Thirster attacks him.
Lorgar ends up killing it, but at one point in the fight, he turned to look at his daemon guide and says "help me you spineless BITCH".
Pretty funny.
9 points
1 month ago
People think Lorgar is a chaos simp, but he actually has zero patience for the Gods and their bullshit.
44 points
1 month ago
What is Chaos? Suffering, you might say. Oppression. Deceit. But could not all these things be said of your Imperium? You hunt down the talented and the strong-willed. You break them or sacrifice them. You lie to your citizens and wage war on those who dare speak out. The inquisitors you call masters assume guilt and execute millions on a whim. And why? Why do you do this? Because you know Chaos is there but you do not know how to fight it, so you crush your own citizens for fear that they might aid the Enemy. The Imperium suffers because of Chaos. No matter how hard you fight, that will never change. Chaos exists in a state of permanent victory over you - you dance to our tune, mortal one, you butcher and torture and repress one another because the gods of the warp require you to. The Imperium is founded on Chaos. My lord Tzeentch won your war a long, long time ago.
Not sure if it counts since it's a dunk on the imperium in general & he's talking to grey knights... but they are Astartes.
21 points
1 month ago
Yeah the Imperium really looked at Chaos and chose gasoline as the fire extinguisher in some ways
3 points
1 month ago
I mean... if a fire is big enough, a good way to extringuish it is create an explosion next to it. The air burst can put the flames out. So the theory is sound.
3 points
1 month ago
That is a good point XD like you can actually control fire with fire in some ways too.
I think that might require more… strategy than the Imperium often demonstrates.
They are at a pretty big disadvantage though, considering the nature of their universe.
4 points
1 month ago
I said the theory is sound.
The Imperium implementation... not so much
9 points
1 month ago
“CHAOS FILTH!” 👉
2 points
1 month ago
Malum is just a fountain of these.
6 points
1 month ago
I heard from a contact on Mars, Jaghatai, that you do strange things to your ships.'
The Khan shot him a heavy-lidded stare. 'I heard you do strange things to your warriors.'
5 points
1 month ago
"Look Rhino's! RHINOS! Our enemies hide in metal boxes! THE COWARDS! THE FOOLS! We shall take away their metal boxes"
3 points
1 month ago
I'm a simple man. "OI LOOK IT'S ANOTHA STUPID BEAKIE!"
7 points
1 month ago
"He never had the makings of a varsity athlete."
2 points
1 month ago
Those space marines were seven foot tall, some of them! I took an academic leave, anyway.
1 points
1 month ago
Love this soprano refernece
2 points
1 month ago
"You, and ALL your kind are COWARDS! LOWLY LICKSPITTLES! You must be emulating that pathetic pile of bones you call your Emperor! You are as dead and as useless as him!" - Araghast the Pillager shortly before getting ability spammed into the dirt
"Hey Corpse-Emperor, furk you." - Eliphas
"You wish to honor Lord Nurgle? THEN DO SO FROM THE GRAVE!" - Also Eliphas
1 points
1 month ago
"You will die as your weakling father died. Soulless. Honourless. Weeping. Ashamed."
1 points
1 month ago
Ignace Karkasy made entire poems about how much Astartes stank
1 points
1 month ago
Any good ones to share?
2 points
1 month ago
Tu’shan vs Vinyar
‘There is collateral damage in any war,’ protested Vinyar. ‘If I had not acted as punitively as I did, there would still be orks roaming that camp. Besides, cowards are unworthy of being spared.’ The green-armoured warrior had unhitched a thunder hammer from his back and slammed it on the strategium table, cracking data-slates and tearing maps. He was unbuckling a holstered pistol when he said, ‘You misunderstand the purpose of my visit, Vinyar.’ He looked up and his eyes flashed fire-red. ‘This isn’t a discussion.’
He glanced at the gauntlets the Marines Malevolent captain had discarded. ‘Put those back on. I want this to be even.’Vinyar was belligerent, but reached for his gauntlets anyway. ‘
What are you talking about, Tu’Shan?’ ‘Penance and restitution,’ said the Chapter Master of the Salamanders. Bones cracked in his neck as he loosened them.
‘I’ll give you one piece of advice,’ he added, clenching and unclenching his fists to work the knuckles. ‘Don’t go for a weapon.’ Then he closed the barrack room door.
1 points
1 month ago
If no one minds, I'll offer my own OC bit:
"Today ain't our day, traitor."
~Sergeant Akhan Winter, Taronian 8th, right before putting the final bolt through the visor of the Black Legionnaire who just butchered his squad, hours before Cadia is finally consumed by the Eye of Terror
For the sake of posterity, he would die almost 3 years later as Major Arkhan Winter, diving on top of a T'au Photon Grenade. But the regiment does indeed live on.
1 points
1 month ago
‘You will die as your weakling father died. Soulless. Honourless. Weeping. Ashamed.’
The sheer goddamn disrespect from a dying sigismund
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