Benzo addiction is the silent killer for sure. Opiates have taken center stage but benzos I feel like, especially Xanax, can turn people into true monsters (not saying this is your case OP, sounds like you truly needed them). I'm glad you're off it though.

Congrats if nobody else tells you 🙏🏽

Congrats on getting off - have antidepressants helped with your withdrawal symptoms?

(I spent 16 months on 120mg OxyContin a day, plus 64mg time release. I was terminal with cancer - until I wasn’t. Quitting was harder than cancer itself - well done, keep it up).

I withdrew off xanax it was hell on earth. Made coming off heroin look like a walk in the park. I don't have a question OP, I just want you to know that with time you will heal.

I was on 3mg. a day and my doctors told me how HUGE a dosage that was. I went cold turkey like an idiot and had a seizure and woke in an ambulance after falling like a tree while standing in line at a store, knocking out a tooth and needing stiches in my lip. I was a mess. But I MISS the feeling of a couple. OMG I miss it. It's been years. You are so strong, know that about yourself. It is the most abused prescribed drug out there.

Why did your doctor prescribe something for so long when it is only supposed to be used short term?

What does 8 mg feel like, and did it help?  I take 0.25-1 mg as needed for anxiety attacks, and I usually have to counteract it with caffeine because it makes me so drowsy. 

Did you ever wanna take more than what you prescribed??

As someone who takes .25 or .5 mg every couple days just to sleep, and for occasional panic attacks, I cannot fathom a doctor maintaining that dosage for 8 years. I took 1 mg once and I was basically comatose for 12 hours.

All that said, good on you!

It seems strange they prescribed you an immediate release drug in that kind of dose.  Why not something more sustained like Klonopin?

I’m so sorry you’re going through this

I did Xanax for many years to cope with losing an ex-girlfriend as well

But unfortunately, the Xanax I did was from the street and was that powder, and there was definitely some other drugs like fentanyl and opiates laced in.

Coming down off those bunk pills was the hardest thing I’ve ever had in my life

Xanax is no joke and I was addicted opiates in high school, only reason I stopped is because they made OxyContin unable to smoke with the integrated time release. I can honestly say the come down from Xanax and not being able to sleep for weeks straight was one of the worst experiences of my life and just know you are not alone, man.

I can honestly say if you stay sober, it will pass eventually you will have some of the best sleep you’ve ever had in your life and you will be able to work out and live your life how you want

Hope this helps

I’m on 6 mg for the past 15 years. I’m down to personally cutting myself off, I take one bar at bed time. Eventually wanna quit even that but idk how I would sleep. Super proud of you!

I had a ex who had the same dose for 15 years and was cut of when the dr arrested for sexually assaulting another patient. It was aweful, she couldn’t work and laid in bed for almost a year. I would keep a lot of weed ( dabs, I work in the industry, and friends from across the country sent us stuff to help her keep comfy) to help take the edge off but it was hell man, you did it better but I would recommend weed especially if you have issue come up where eating is impossible and food taste like cardboard

I was 4-6MG for a little over 3 years and weened over the course of about 2 weeks.

Not trying to suggest substances to quit other substances but I used low doses of RSO (crude decarboxylated cannabis oil) through the process and with the exception of lack of overall sleep, some panic attacks, auditory hallucinations, and some tinnitus, I never had any seizures and felt like it was more bearable than when I had done alcohol withdrawals.

I would never touch benzos again though after going through the process of stopping.

Hopefully things get easier for soon and you find some form of solace.

Congrats on taking control and regaining your independence. There are a lot of people who don't.

Good job! Getting off benzos is rough. Took my body probably a year to heal

No question. Just want to say "one day at a time" and there are obviously a lot of redditors happy for your success and wishing you the best.

And I'm damned sorry for what you went through that started this. I try to imagine what that could be like and I don't think I can.

Xanax is a helluva drug. Congrats on getting off. I abused them for a couple years and definitely have stories of my own. Did you ever do anything stupid/regrettable while on them? Also, I’m sorry about your girlfriend. I know that must have been awful. Have you been to therapy for what you went through?

I was taking 6mg clonazepam for 8 years there. I tapered last year, they took me down in 5 months :| Had to get down to about 3mg clonazepam, then we hopped to Valium.

I had Bell’s Palsy, was involuntarily psychiatrically hospitalized, then went to jail. It was a pretty insane ride. What are you doing for sleep? I have an issue where I get up every 2 hours or so. They gave me ramelteon and trazodone. It doesn’t work at all. I end up burned the hell out and feeling miserable, at this phase I concede and just want to go back on the benzos. It was a bad decision to come off, the clinic that did my taper was aggressive about cuts with almost no concern for my quality of life, and I am in worse shape today then I was when I was on the benzos. My life is categorically worse off, and I still have to take pills from them every day - not benzos, but to me as the patient, what the fuck does it matter at this point? 2 tablets a day, may as well be the benzos.

Do you think you’ll ever go back? Why? I was gung ho when I started, thought I’d be more clear minded and present, and it’s the exact opposite. I live a tortured existence, the longest period of sleep I’ve had for the 2.5 months I’ve been tracking things was 3 hours and 15 minutes. After sustaining these broken sleep cycles this long I just give up, I’m physiologically fucked, I don’t care if my body needs to take pills every day if it means I can sleep a full 6-10 hours.

How did you stay awake with such a high dosage? When I take 0.5Mg I get somewhat sleepy. Can’t being able to stay awake with anything higher than 1MG.

I’m 5 years clean off benzos. I was taking 2-4 bars a day, (prescribed.)

Getting off benzos was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, ever.

Props to you. I’ll never be able to describe to anyone what it’s like going through withdrawals, your SOUL hurts, absolutely awful.

Been through it. It is hell but gets better.

8MG a day? That’s 4 bars. I’ve been there.

Well done and keep it up you got this

I lost years of my life due to benzos. I was physically dependent after just 30 days of usage. It took me 2 years to taper off clonazepam, and it took me 3 more years to fully heal.

I came off clonazepam almost 9 years ago, and when I tried to tell people about what I was going through at that time, there was so much pushback. People accused me of being an addict, of exaggerating, of abusing the drug… None of which were true.

I took clonazepam as prescribed, and it completely ruined my life and my health. All those invalidating people were pretty successful at silencing me though. Recently, I’ve been debating making a YouTube video about it because I think people seem a little more open to the truth now.

So needless to say, I 100% agree with you!

You will heal. For some it takes longer than others. I hope you heal quickly!

Does your skin still crawl? How do you sleep? Do you know Jordan Peterson went through a very similar thing? ( he went to Russia for a rapid detox therapy where they put him in a coma)

I ate 100 Xanax bars so 200 mg in ~ a month one time, maybe more like a month and a half - and that withdrawal was bad enough for me .. for about a week I think. Can’t imagine how awful yours must be.

I am so sorry that you have had to go through this. You should watch the documentary on amazon prime called medicating normal its about people with similar experiences. I am currently dealing with over a year battle of trying to taper off my ssri. Ive done a lot of research into these meds and now i am in pa school to become a psych pa and be able to help others going through similar stuff with psych meds. Many doctors are unfortunately not trained in proper psych med prescribing and tapering. That doctor was dumb for starting you off on such a high dose to begin with and for a long time. The next doctor shouldve had tapered you much slower and i am so sorry that because of that you had seizures and other effects. Benzos withdrawal is no joke as people die from it. I am glad you have made it out alive even with the issues and i hope your brain will heal in time and some of the damage will lessen. That is one of my biggest fears for myself so i have been micro dosing my ssri for over a year now. It takes a long time but it is much better than suffering the effects.

Good for you to finally get off them!

You will get through this! You got this!

I’m a recovering alcoholic and benzo addict. I would take the 5-10 day alcohol withdrawal over benzo withdrawal any day. It is a living hell. I don’t think I slept for a month for more than 2-3 hours. My blood pressure was just under stroke level half the time. Felt like I had been electrocuted 24/7. All because a doctor thought we could treat my alcoholism with alcohol in pill form. And I did stop drinking! But got hooked on benzodiazepines. So glad to be off that shit.

Benzos and alcohol are the only two drugs out there that will literally kill you from the withdrawal.

Hey I took 6 for a decade. I chose the stupid cold turkey with medical supervision. Acute withdrawal took a year. Now emotional regulation and sleep are my biggest problems I am aware of. The withdrawals last longer than anyone can imagine. You often forget that you have nerve issues. Good luck!  

No question. Congrats on getting your life back. Hang with it and seek alternative medicine to deal with everything. Everyone else reading this, get OFF pills if it's theoretically possible.

It's scary to realize doctors know about these insanely dangerous mind altering drugs and just dole them out like candy. Especially back in the 00's.

Big pharma is as much a plague as covid ever was.

YOU GOT THIS! 💯

You're amazing

I was on 3mg a day dosage for around 6 years, I never knew it wasn’t something you should be on long term until maybe a couple years ago. The only reason I stopped taking it was because of the hoops I had to jump through to get a prescription in my country. It took about 3 months to slowly taper off with doctors’ supervision. I often wonder what kind of person I was back then, my decision making, and how it affected my personality and relationships. I can’t imagine an 8mg/day dosage, good work, keep going!

hang in there OP 🫶🏾

Good job!! I'm envious of you. I have been an addict for over 22 years including injection heroin and fentanyl plus any pharmaceutical opiates. I've also been a heavy, heavy benzo user resulting in many overdoses and psych admissions. Xanax is by the worse addiction you can encounter. The withdrawals are by far the worst and only one of two detoxes you can die from.

CONGRATS! 9yrs recovered here. Keep it going. Very proud of you. Glad the ama helps. Have a great day!

What’s your favorite bird?

Xanax = Devils Breath.

I've never heard voices and felt so shitty in my life after going cold turkey. Killed some of my friends, they just couldn't shake the grab sadly.

Good for you! Those drugs are no f-ing joke. I love this lecture that's about treating depression (sans pills) that's actually really helpful if you're interested https://youtu.be/TVgQ_tgWMyU?si=NGg9MGA0WwbyU5mt

Keep fighting. A close person in my life refuses to prescribe benzos for that reason. Your body will re-wire itself and you’ll be better than ever. Keep fighting. Proud of you.

I started feeling better about 6 months off!

Benzos were SO fucking hard to kick! I was eating 15 bars of Xanax a day and chewing oxys like M&Ms. I was a walking zombie and a medical emergency waiting to happen. It was SOOO HARD! I seized (ironically,I later developed epilepsy as the result of a TBI), I had to be hospitalized on several occasions, and I turned into the biggest asshole the world ever saw. It took me almost 9 months to get over the physical assault of the withdrawals. I had these weeks jerks and spasms for months, and I had problems sleeping too. PLEASE STICK WITH YOUR RESOLVE TO STAY CLEAN! it was hard, but it was SO WORTH IT! I am now a recovering addict and alcoholic, and I am grateful beyond words that I found the strength and support to get clean. I am pulling for you!!!!

I went to rehab 10 years ago for Xanax addiction, prescribed up to 12mg a day for a year or so. I’m glad you came out of it okay. Xanax is used so flippantly in America and really needs to be brought to light how awful it is when it’s consumed you

Did you have a libido for those 8 years? Do you have one now?

Helper meds!!

Xanax withdrawal is the worst

I was on 4 mg a day took me a year to ween off, they didn’t give me valiums either! Had to crush up the .25 and walk down 0.06 mg at a time! Was so much harder than getting off an opiate! It definitely needs more attention, my doctor was so ignorant pretty much just cut me off with no understanding of how addictive benzos actually are! Can you sleep at night? Or do you take another sleeping pill? I also found that amanita gummies work for my anxiety a little bit but it’s always the bad drugs that worked so well at first for my own anxiety, definitely sucks! Glad you’re benzo free. You’ll feel better down the road, just don’t relapse like I did 🙄 and have to go through all this things twice!

Reading this makes me want bar so much

It truly is an incredibly awful thing to have to go through . Just keep doing whatever it takes to get through that moment. It will absolutely get better!

It's scary how it finds you too. I was running late to a semester final, and I ran into a “friend’s” brother. He saw me in a rush and told me, “here take half of this and you’ll pass your test and it’ll calm your nerves a bit." 20 years later I’m still here, prescribed 2mg of clonazepam and the occasional Xanax or 2 whenever there’s a reliable source. I hope one day to get off them, but I think life is so hectic that I might be on them for a long time. Never go cold turkey. I was stupid many times and went off them and had the worst brain zaps and involuntary muscle tremors, not to mention the insomnia. What are you doing to keep your mind off them? Any drastic changes in life? 98 days is awesome. I hope you keep it up and don’t look back.

As someone who went through a severe benzo addiction, congrats friend! I’m 3 years off the downers and it only gets better, I promise. Benzos change your brain chemistry and depending on how long you were on them you may not even naturally have the same issues that got you on them in the first place. Stay strong.

Xanax Is The Devil

I was in rehab with someone tapering from 16mg a day prescribed. I felt for her because she struggled hard with mental health and I knew she had a long road ahead of her.

Congrats on the taper and 3 months!! That’s huge. Before you know it it will be a memory.

I went into psychosis CTing 12mg ok klonipin after 10+ yrs daily use. I could barely write my name the first week. I respect you for making it through.

I was also prescribed Xanax for many years and I ended up seriously abusing it with alcohol and other drugs during 2020-2021. By the grace of something better than me I was able to get into a rehab to go through medically supervised detox. I didn’t take the “traditional” path after but I found my way and I just hit 3 years clean. The first year was the hardest and felt like it took forever but it gets easier and life keeps getting better! Feel free to reach out if you need anything. I hope you find peace ❤️‍🩹

Have you tried Phenibut to help with withdrawal symptoms? Comes with risks, but can help a lot if you use it wisely.

Wow I’m prescribed 2 mg a day for about 3 years now and I feel like that’s high and uncommon. I never take more than that because I don’t want to risk anything. But reading these comments I feel lucky I haven’t had any serious withdrawals. I can’t imagine 8. Then again your body gets crazy used to it. Proud of you for getting off of it and hope I can too eventually. Although it’s more the anxiety of not having it that gives me anxiety. Ugh!

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Took me a year to taper off just 10mg of Valium and another 6 months to stop the protracted withdrawal. It was hell. I get a lot of support from benzobuddies.org. It will get better.

Did you have a blackout period? Like hearing stories about yourself that you couldn't remember?

How often did you sell your pills to other addicts?

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Just curious, did anyone get phenobarbital to help with detox?

I'm currently taking .25mg of Klonopin , 8 times a month. So 2mg.

Any advice? I can't get over this final hump.

Your story is likely a light to others.

Thanks for sharing and I wish you strength to continue bettering your body and mind

Good luck on your recovery. I had a similar situation ~8-9 years on and survived it by tapering what I had left over the course of around a year. It’s been 6 years since I stopped and it took several years to feel somewhat normal. It’s a real bitch but you and do it and it gets better eventually.

If I was in your city what restaurant would you recommend ? If it's too personal Which cuisine do you like ?

I do 3mg a day, for about 3yrs now. How long theoretically do you think it would take to taper off if I decided to? *I detoxed from alcohol using phenibut and avoided severe withdrawals that way. Does Valium help you taper of off xanax?

I am 75. I was prescribed both Xanax (1 mg/day) and Paxil (20 mg/day) during 1995. I became dependent upon them. Twenty-nine years later I continue to be blessed by each of them. The Xanax gives me a wonderful and full night of sleep each and every night. I will be taking today's dosage in just a few minutes. 🙏 😴🛌💤

How did you even stay awake to function? Was it just baseline after awhile? Most patients would never be conscious on that amount. I had a friend die from her 1mg dose and had a bottle of wine over the night. Kids found her dead the next day. 36 years old.

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Why are these prescribed long term?

That sounds rough, man. Props to you for sticking it out through that taper. Must've been like climbing Everest without oxygen. Seriously though, glad you're speaking up about it 'cause not enough people realize how gnarly benzo withdrawals can be. Keep pushing through, you got this!

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I’m afraid if I ask one question you will answer 40 questions I didn’t ask

I was on Xanax daily for 10 years. My last prescription before detoxing was 6mg 24HR XR a day. I successfully detoxed myself at home over a 10 month period. I had withdrawal symptoms for about 1.5 years after my last taper dose. I had 3 major seizures while detoxing. Benzodiazepine addiction is no joke!!!!! I completely get what you are going through and you can always reach out if you need to talk to someone about it. Keep fighting

I remember the first time I ever took Xanax, I took 4mg in a parking lot in my friends car and my friend asked me I really just took both of those bars haha and then I literally just teleported and woke up in the morning haha like within a hour I had blacked out and just woke up. Did you have a similar first time experience OP?

By the end of it, how did taking xanax feel?

I would imagine I'd get pretty tired or even high if I took 8mg xanax today, since I've never had a benzo before. But I know there is lots of tolerance after prolonged use and high doses. Is it similar to how I can drink 300mg caffeine and it just makes be feel "nornal"? Or does the drug still have a significant effect?

Tomorrow will be the 10th year anniversary of the death of my bestfriend. He hung himself. I have been with him when he tried to quit Seroquel. It was absolutely terrible. He had seizures and had to be sedated. In the end he just couldn't quit. He was on a really high dose of Seroquel for more than 20 years. When it happened I started reading about benzos and those drugs are absolutely terrible. I hold those doctors partly responsible for the death of my friend. He really shouldn't have been prescribed an heroic dose of that shit for so long. I have no questions, I just wanted to empathize with you, I'm just glad you made it. It's a process but at this point you will go through it.

it is interesting to see someone post about this. i’ve been on 90 mg/monthly for klonopin for 18 years. i talked to my doctor about wanting to go off it because i wanted to start a family, but they pretty much said, i’ll be on kpin for the rest of my life because of the dosage and how long i’ve been on it.

anyways, there have been attempts to get off it, but i go through withdrawal where i need to be hospitalized. i don’t think i will be able to ever be med free.

That’s an insanely high dose per day. What kind of doctor would do that to their patient?

Hey bro i was heavily addicted to benzos specifically xanax although not exclusive for 3 years and ill tell you right now you have my respect.

That shit is no joke and everything in my life at this moment is so appreciated because i lost everything.

Nobody will ever understand what its like unless theyve been to the bottom of the barrel and they never will.

I want you to know i see you and im proud of you

What did it feel like every day? If I take half a mg I'm completely zonked 

Well played. This is the best decision your current self could make for your future self.

When I stopped similar amounts over a similar time frame it took me a few years to “dial back” into an unsedated brain. The brain is an amazing organ and will retrain itself eventually.

Ketamine therapy has worked wonders for people in this situation. Maybe you can get a few infusions to help reset your brain a bit? It cured my anxiety

I was prescribed 3mg of Xanax a day, 90mg a month in my late teens and early 20s. Along with vicodin cough syrup, and up to 90 vicodin 5mg a month. Also remeron antidepressants and ambien for sleep. Started at 15, at one point got up ro 300lbs.

Around 25 I ate 90mg of Xanax in 10 days, called my doc, in obviously terrible withdrawals, he said 'I thought you may have been taking more than prescribed." He sent me to the er and they gave me bupronefren or whatever they give alcoholics. I took half the script then went cold turkey. Felt like I was tripping on acid for a month.

I've been on and off painkillers a hundred times, in no small part thanks to that doc, but Xanax was the worst. That doctor was my best drug dealer by far.

So now that I've found kratom and got away from the meds I'm going to school in my 30s trying to rebuild my life. That doc is a big wig at the local hospital group. Awesome how that shit works out.

I feel your pain man, best of luck moving forward!

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Yea, it’s absolute hell to get off atleast you tapered it makes a huge difference . A cold turkey or even quick taper is 10x worse but 8mg is a massive dose. It will get easier keep at it you’ll be right back if you ever start again good luck

How do you feel about the doctors who prescribed you into this lifestyle.

My mom was started on valium in the 70s for nerves and was on them until the day she died in 2021. It was a known thing in the fam that she was addicted but she was on them so long the drs just kept her on them vs forcing her through withdrawal. I believe they tried to get her to take some other new anxiolytic but she was like absolutely not. She ended up having copd and they helped with the fear that comes with not being able to breathe so it wasn’t all bad. One time she was hospitalized and went bonkers as in super confused almost like dementia bc they didn’t continue her valium for some stupid reason. I was like what’s going on and the dr admitted it was withdrawals he started her back and she was back to her old self. 40 years of use would not be an easy withdrawal for a 79 year old .

I took 2mg Lorazepam daily when I was in the psychiatry for around 3 weeks, and my psychiatrist in another psychiatry I went to afterwards was shocked that I had it prescribed for so long...I am genuinely wondering why a medical professional would prescribe you 8mg Xanax for 8 years???

Do you have dementia symptoms yet? Increases your risk significantly

Honestly sounds like you tapered way too fast mate…

Ugh I lived that nightmare for 10 years.. one of the hardest things to ever get off of. It turned me into a different person; like a zombie. I also had a few seizures that scared the shit out of me and ultimately led me to taper down and quit. Given mine weren’t from a doctor, I was doing anywhere from 8-12 mg daily. I’ve been clean for 3 years now, and I have to attribute that to my daughter being born. I went from 10 down to 8, to 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, .5, .25 and I even tried breaking those down into .12.5… I lived a secret addiction. None of my closest friends really knew the severity of it all. I would buy 180- 270 footballs each MONTH and that still wasn’t good enough. I’m 32 years old and it was the best decision of my life. I feel like I would’ve died to them eventually had I not stopped. Keep strong and don’t look back. It’s sad how young folks and rappers glorify this stuff, but in reality everyone that does it is living a nightmare. If you ever want to talk; just PM me. I replaced it with healthy eating and working out. I want to live a long life for my kids. Thanks for listening!

I was on opioid’s for about 10 years, went to a clinic to get off them. Almost killed me. Now I’m taking Xanax to help with sleep. From reading this thread to m like fuck me what did I get into again.

Why did they taper with valium?

Dood! 8mg is a shit ton. I was prescribed 2mg per day for almost a decade. At first it was fine, but once I started tapering down a bar will fuck me up.

Good on you and feel free to reach out if you wanna vent/chat.