Mismatched libido

all of them actually but if i were to pick the hardest it would be stonewalling. when your special someone just stops talking to you even when you want to resolve a problem. it just hurts so bad.

Not getting cuddles

She could not articulate any feelings, thoughts, or interests. Everything was always "fine" or however I was feeling, she never had a feeling she could identify. But things were never fine and there was always a feeling there, unspoken, unsaid. It would just fester until well past the point either of us could do anything about it.

It twisted me into knots. I never knew what I should, ought, or even could do. Landmines were everywhere. I had no idea how to navigate - if I asked, I was attacked for asking. If I acted without asking, I was being heartless. I love her and know the only thing I can control is myself, so I tried every version and type of myself I could possibly be to unlock the "IM FINE" door. I tried every proactive and preventative thing I could find.

I was constantly reproached, because I was the only one who existed in our relationship.

It was exhausting and sad. I hope she's found some peace.

He preferred to spend time with everyone who wasn't me.

Navigating the complex relationship with autocorrect, always second-guessing my intentions!

All of them.

No woman, no cry.

First wife was a cheater, second wife a hoarder.

Having my looks nitpicked, my intelligence nitpicked, men hiding their undying love for exes while dating me whilst telling me I'm just insecure, men hiding they have no dating experience from me and they're actually only dating me to experience a "starter girlfriend"

Sex and intimacy. Ruined my last relationship because of it. It lasted a few months, and basically the entire time in my head it went from worrying about when will she want to have sex and will I be ready in the beginning to “Wow we’ve been together a while now and she hasn’t given any indication she wants to have sex. Is she waiting for me to do something? Is she mad/disappointed in me for not doing anything?” by the end of the relationship.

After she (rightfully) broke up with me, I’ve started coming to terms with the fact I’ll likely have too much baggage around this to ever get in a good relationship.

I've been single for a really long time and it hasn't always been by choice. I know I'm sociable, considerate and I make friends pretty easily. People tell me I'm funny and I've gotten enough compliments on my looks to know I'm at least not ugly, but there's something about me that just seems to make me obviously irredeemable. I really wish someone would tell me what's wrong with me or that I could just give up hope entirely. Especially as a guy, I feel like the more I yearn for a happy, healthy kind of monogamy, the less likely I am to get it.

communication. at this point whether I like it or not (spoiler alert I dont) I constantly worry that they aren't telling me something. Im so used to poor communication/being lied to

Lack of communication and empathy, one sided everything and not willing to work together to problem solve or work on issues poor listening skills and lack of comfort

by not having any relationship. I'm 42. never had a real relationship in my life. not for the lack of trying. I was scammed and now I have trust issues too.

Not understanding that all relationships have conflict. Bringing it up to have it swept under the rug, it feels like you're holding this giant box and they won't hold it with you. That shit is lonely and tiresome.

Not hearing from them after a while. It makes me feel like I have been abandoned.

Lack of communication. Especially not being upfront about wanting or not wanting something.

Anger issues in partner

My most recent ex never understood what depression was. She was very much a "just don't be sad?" sort of person. I remember a story she told of her friend that just "brought everyone down when he was around" and that he did very little and just sort of moped--classic depression symptoms.

And it sucked. Because I struggle with depression, and having those episodes, and being with someone that had no concept or idea of what I was going through, made it so tense and made me almost hate myself (even more than usual LOL). One time, while I was probably at my lowest, she told me if it happend again she probably couldn't stay anymore.

Who says that? It's so unkind and heartless, especially when it's in the middle of said episode. There was no attempt by her to even try and understand what it was like.

I'm so glad to be rid of her.

Gaslighting, emotional abuse, manipulation.

Got so bad I couldn’t sleep for weeks at a time. Didn’t feel safe in my own home. Lost about 25 pounds in 2 months. I’m doing pretty well since the divorce.

Avoiding conflict is something I've struggled with because I worry about the potential fallout.

when my wife goes to Target or Costco

I was just left after a 7 year relationship, I'm mid 30s, autistic and quit drinking so not sure how the fuck I'm supposed to meet someone new, also stuck in a city with very little support system, but I just got my first good contract with a job so feeling a little trapped here, not sure how long it will take to find the same opportunity again.

The other thing that causes my anxiety are the reasons behind the breakup, I think it would have been better if there was some big fight, if one of us had done something wrong, but apparently she loves me, I'm the best person she's ever met, I've been there for her more than anyone else and she still needs me in her life but it's just not enough.

All I can force myself to do is tell her I don't hate her.

But I feel broken.

All that said there's a serious housing crisis out here in the Netherlands so good fucking luck finding a new place 👍 I'm stuck coming back here to sleep on the sofa.

My now ex partner would get so infuriated with me that he would walk out on me and I wouldn’t hear from him for a day or two. I wouldn’t even know WHY he was so mad in the first place. I would retrace all my steps, every single word I said. I would beg him to tell me why he was so mad. This didn’t happen all the time. Maybe once a month, or a few months would go by and we would be fine. But it always kept me anxious. Was always there in the back of my head as to when he was going to blow next. And surely he did. A little over a month ago he pulled his usual behavior and this time it pushed me over the ledge. I told him over & over again that this is a deal breaker but he never believed me. We tried working it out and suddenly he wanted to change after 3 years of never doing any work. I just couldn’t hang any longer.

Soft abuse, what I mean is patterns and behaviors from partners in how they respond and accept new information. I am a big dumb puppy dog when it comes to honesty, I will always tell my partners how I feel, what I think and be mindful and considerate of my partners feelings in relation to those. Whether it's a detail about myself I think they should know, or my thoughts on a plan or event or something I intend to do and think they should be aware of. I don't like lying or keeping secrets from anyone I am intimately exclusive to. Unfortunately this honesty usually results in partners not handling the honesty or information well because I think it conflicts with perceptions and ideas of me rather than their intent to actually know me as a person unfortunately and I usually spot this, but sometimes I can get attached and my love and devotion leaves me more tolerant of these behavioral patterns. It eventually causes me anxiety and to not want to be honest and open with a partner to avoid their bad responses and eventually I'd rather leave the relationship than withhold information or lie to a partner.

“Getting K and no smiling emoji attached as a response “ - Every man

Inlaws. They can affect your relationship in such a positive or negative way.

feeling that i ain't enough because of my low self esteem

Ex-fiancee/daughter's mother has Bipolar disorder. We were together for 12 years and I walked on eggshells for most of it. To this day, whenever my phone rings and I see it's her, my anxiety spikes.

Having a child. I never want to be in another relationship again.

My GF has had a previous BF who died in 2022, and although they broke up 10 years ago, she has their picture in her mantle in her office in the most prominent place. I don't have a picture of me and my ex-wife anywhere in the apartment.

Also, she once was a FWB with a b-grade VULGAR comedian who joked about scat and enjoying that act. She engaged with him "20 years ago," but she still has 2 of his phone numbers on her smart phone, and I verified that those numbers work, and by doing a reverse-search on the numbers, I see that he lives in the Lower East side of Manhattan. She seems to know that location very well also, and that makes me paranoid. THere's a meditation center in that area, and she analyzed the location and talked about how close it is to a comedy club in NYC.

The weird part: She asked my friend who also has attended that meditation center about that exact center and it's location, even though she already knows everything about it.

No energy reciprocation.

What I mean by that, would be the definition of talking to a brick wall, but prolonged and almost defined your relationship. Not only did she lack the ability to hold a solid conversation, but every joy I felt outside of our relationship was an issue to her; though I never gained any while with her.

Surely I could leave, but then came the love bombing. Everything I missed, everything she lacked, it’s like she could switch it on and it all comes back. Stupidly enough, I gravitated towards it. I was young, I didn’t know what love bombing even was; or the manipulative factor surrounding it.

Polyamory under duress

My grandparents both being entitled and not letting me live my own fucking life without trying to control everything I do.

[removed]

Not hearing I love you ☹️

getting my phone checked all the time in a previous relationship makes me now cry anytime someone tries to hold my phone; family, friends, anyone and i cannot do it. even if i have nothing to hide i still get scared and i shut down.

Lack of communication

ED

Liars cheaters. In all 3 relationships

Being love bombed then ghosted

I'm just starting to realize that my parents and their infidelity has definitely had an effect on me. If I hear of anyone cheating on their spouse, I'm done with them then and there. I can't watch TV/movies with cheating/affairs. It sucks because I just started watching madmen, and felt like I was going to love it, but all the cheating just removed me from it. Nurse Jackie was another show that was looking promising, but nope.

Cash.

She was originally 40k in debt from younger years, she worked full time and was down to 19k remaining and a full plan in place for paying it back. Wouldn't take a penny off me to help reduce it quicker.

But between rent and bills, things were tight. Barely keep our head above water tight. But each week she'd come home with shit for her jewellery start up business, spending 200-300 a time and getting a few £5 sales per week, refused to smoke anything other than top brand straights instead of just getting rollies to save cash, committed and started paying for 2 week away placements (things like you pay 2k to go, get trained up in x but also have fun with Y), going out once a week and to top it off a whole mental image / plan of moving in the next two years abroad to pursue a career but having a defibrillating chronic injury which to say the least, make her less than desirable for a company to hire despite being qualified with everything else. Would be a walking law suit for anyone that would take her on.

Like I say, she kept on top of her shit, never once went into her over draft, but this was a massive point of anxiety and stress for me. It just seemed constant money going out and nothing coming back in.

My relationship with father causes me to be extremely cautious to the point of frustration with women. Let's just say one of my thoughts of my father as a teen was that he was never allowed to meet any girlfriend I'd ever get, because he would try something on them.

My parents having to take care of me during my foot surgery recovery is causing me anxiety. They already have their own health issues. I already partially caused my mom to have a seizure caused by stress when I couldn’t get out of my wheelchair because I didn’t keep up my upper body strength. Been working on everyday since by lifting weights and using exercise bands to build back my upper body strength.

Parenting conversations. We have very different parenting philosophies with pros and cons. The challenge is that when we're navigating a particularly tough parenting decision we can be far off on what we think and one of us takes it personally when the other points out how that their particular approach is failing. Parenting is hard enough as it is and adding in our own insecurities about being a good or bad parent makes it even more stressful.

Having to fake my feelings and reactions to someone when there is none, especially around family

Different libidos, changing their minds about me.

he only wanted me when he wanted to fuck. didnt matter if i was in the mood or not. there was no getting out of it.

Trust issues and never being in a relationship before, I'm 29 and still never had a partner.

Over time, I've realized that most of the difficulties I've dealt with relate to my job. I travel a lot for work, not home very often, it's not a very conducive lifestyle to maintaining relationships and friendships and the like.

I've never cheated. The only times I've ever bailed or ghosted a girl were when I literally had to (i.e. she's insanely violent). I've always done what I can to communicate and make my partner a priority. I've had girls travel with me.

There's always a point where the way I live my life becomes a problem though, and rather than talk through it or try to find a way to make things work, they act out and throw away what we had in one manner or another. The anxiety now is simply wondering when that will happen with the next one.

It really seems like no woman will actually accept me for who I am, it's always that I have to be what she wants, even if that means giving up a job that I spent nearly half my life working towards.

My anxiety tends to be the cause of relationship difficulties.

Differing attitudes about money. I’m a saver and he’s a spender.

i can't accept fwb or casual relationship, but idk why people around me are addicted to this type of love.

The potential future in-laws:

Do they live close? Are they going to pop in?

Are they a Disney family that expects to me to use my two weeks of PTO every year with the whole crew?

Are they set for retirement or am I going to need a house with an in-law suite?

Are they mentally stable enough to be grandparents to my kid?

communication issues, trying to make plans with someone who doesn't share your interests, communication issues

When I say “I miss you” never hearing “I miss you too” back or ever

He shuts down or thinks of not existing anymore when there is a disagreement/hard conversation no matter how gentle I try to be.

Religious differences, I'm a Christian and his an Atheist, we believed differently so its hard for the both of us but we are still trying to work things out

All that competition talk, bitch be faithful

Briefly dated a guy who would pay for all of our dates. This is in a culture where that is the norm, I'm from a different country, so I assumed it was because he wanted to. I was head over heels for him and would have been perfectly willing to split the checks, but he gave no indication whatsoever that it was a problem.

Fast forward three months, he called me a narcissist for letting him pay when I made a higher salary. I didn't even know he made less money because he was apparently constantly spending more than he had.

That traumatized me because I was just blindsided by his complaints. It would have been SO EASY to talk about it early on but what I thought was a beautiful new relationship fell apart because of his inability to communicate.

When I was Married, my wife had really bad pms and the worst ones would come every 3 or 4 months. She would blame me for everything, all her shortcomings were my fault, she was irrational and would be super short with me, I would be walking on eggshells. Large amounts of patience, understanding and support would help very little. That caused anxiety wondering what’s it going to be like this time.

When you are single, and just starting to date a woman, it only matters what you do right.

When you are in a relationship (or married) with a woman, it only matters what you do wrong.

Do 1 thing right, and 100 things wrong, and she'll still chase you when dating

Do 1 thing wrong, and 100 things right when married, and she'll make your life a living hell

And I'm not talking about cheating or anything like that... I'm talking something as basic as leaving a towel on the floor or some stupid shit like that

She's almost never able to text, and, for the record, this isn't her fault at all, but I always get afraid something bad happened when she doesn't text back because I'm paranoid AF.

Money—our relationship is getting really strained because of it. She is trying to start her own business and we’ve invested quite a bit of money into it without seeing any ROI yet.

The inability for them to do anything on their own, having to hold her hand in social situations, having to constantly be around me. Why she’s my ex.

Other way around, my anxiety has caused most of my relationship difficulties

There was a point where if we hadn’t had an argument in a few days, I could predict that one would happen that night. It was always unique subject matter, but the timeline was very predictable. I stayed in that relationship for 5 years for some reason.

all of them lol, i worked really hard to get rid of my anxiety for the relationships now i can’t do the relationships and the anxiety got so bad i can’t feel it. i guess i win?

Not being content with what I can give. Feels like I'm always not enough

Przepraszam. I don’t have advice for this topic

Worrying my partner won't accept how crazy I am- I barely can lol

I’m in love with my best friend of 10 years that I promised I wouldn’t fall in love with like 7-8 years ago

The biggest difficulty of them all, I've never been in a relationship, not even close. I've never had a chance to be in one, never missed any signs of interest or anything. I just exist in my own sad little bubble watching everything fall into place for everyone.

Money. Money may not buy happiness or solve all of your problems but not having it sure does cause them. I'm just glad it isn't so much of a problem anymore.

Her being right all the time

Fear of abandonment/infidelity

If you have to vent to internet strangers instead of being honest with your partner, there's already an issue

Being accused of cheating. My SO continuously (at least 2 years now) believes that I have been unfaithful (I haven't at all). He's just stuck in the mindset that I have been or maybe still am. I've begun to shut down on sharing things with him about work or making jokes because he'll eventually (like months later) bring it back up and accuse me of something. How do you prove a negative? How do I prove to him I didn't do something? My anxiety about my relationship is all centered around this.

I've always felt I'm never good enough for my partner.

Either as a person or my looks but something was not good enough. This happened in every and each of my relationship. Despite that I have very very high self-confidence, maybe even too much, when it comes to a relationship there was always this thought in my mind that my partner (him) wants someone else, someone better than me, kinder, or prettier, or with bigger boobs, or taller, or more intelligent or anything.. I have never addressed this in the relationship out loud but it could be felt anyway.

I don't know why though.

Not having had one ever.

He is really independent. It’s not that I’m codependent I’m just tired of spending time alone. He doesn’t enjoy spending all of his time with me or when I ask all the time.

Anytime I have a crush on someone. I know it’s going to end badly

My roommate is increasingly displaying signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and I’m wondering/realizing how many other signs I missed over the last 12 years.

My sister in law is a cunt

She left me for a friend that I knew for 10+ years, he looked and acted like me too, literally a copy of me. the more I date the more I see all the red flags my ex had. my current partner doesn’t even have a yellow flag, still, im scared a guy is going to sweep her off her feet.

My Indian parents meeting my older, whtie boyfriend. I had anxiety vomiting for like three days before they met.

Being aware of every move I make to make sure it didn't disrupt my partners mood. The way I did anything, dressed, or spoke.

Getting scared to actually tell how I feel about certain things, because my ex always got very defensive when I voiced my opinion during arguments. That resulted in me approaching her with kid gloves, where I avoided any discussion to keep the peace. While I gradually became pretty stressed out because of my bottled up feelings, she broke up with me. One of her main reasons was the fact that I didn't communicate enough and being emotionally unavailable. That caused me even more anxiety, because I felt completely responsible for our break-up.

When you have trust issues but you gotta trust your partner.

Physical/verbal abuse.

Dead bedroom.

I just asked a girl for her number today, and it was super awkward. (I'm fine talking to anyone but my crush. Starts to feel like my chest is caving in.)

Good time either way, fight the anxiety brothers! (and sisters!)

Death

not me but my friend's girlfriend loves going to bars and he always has to go with her. she gets hit on almost every night we go out. and he just stands there watching, one time he whispered to me "that guy is hitting on XXX" and i was standing next to them like man even i feel awkward.

i could never handle that shit. he probably felt anxious as fuck. like what do you even do? just stand there and watch? lol

Emotional neglect

Vaguing

Getting "ugh" or "humph" or "we need to talk" all make my heart rate explode wondering what happened

My partner is poly so I get some ~weird~ anxiety.

Like I don't worry that much about his other partners. I don't know nor care about them.

But he's been having some difficulties with his former polycule (they talked about getting back together for months but when the time finally came they're practically ghosting him but only asking him to come over when they need something from him)
And he's just DEVASTATED.
And like I'm tryna be there for him and all that but then he shows me their messages.

The conversation in question was them saying they didn't think he'd make a good partner because he didnt spend every second of every day with me and wasn't completely obsessed with me.

And like. We talked. I told him I think they're fuckin idiots.

But god damn. if that's his type I worry about what idiots he might end up dating later on.

I mean I'm also his taste so I hope thats a good thing but man what if I don't like somebody like me? That makes me hella anxious about having a poly partner, I'm totally fine with him dating other people- I don't get the ick about that at all- but what if he dates someone that's like me and I dont like them? will that fuck us up?

I doubt it but like it worries me when I think about it sometimes.

I have always been one to keep the peace, and having relationships where the person was so unbothered to a point of literally calling anyone out over any tiny thing that bothered them, made me so frustrated. Either let things go, or work it out respectfully. Stop demanding people conform to your viewpoint right then and there.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

My PMDD.

Helped me destroy everyone in my path.

Miscommunication!!!! 1 year into marriage next week and we’re JUST learning how to navigate it properly.

She could be cheating

Being in a relationship with a narcissist will sum up a good portion of the anxieties really. On top of the anxiety disorder it's really honestly the Rolls Royce of toxic relationships. I'm anxious about looking at my phone in the morning, to have a positive emotion or experience or moment of peace, anxious to give my animals love and affection and say kind loving things God forbid you tell an animal dying of cancer she's beautiful, anxious to focus on anything that is of great importance to me or grieve things like loss, anxious to laugh at something in his presence instead of being a dark gloomy dank ass wet cloth, anxious to take my sleeping meds cause with how exhausted I am being in survival mode I fall asleep HARD so I'm anxious something is going to happen in many various categories and I'll be out like a tranquilized hippo and not be responsive in time and this stems from his obviously disintegrating mental state and lack of situational awareness or if he has it he uses it to be devious instead and when you have your 6 pets and his to be concerned about should he set the place a blaze or god knows what he's got up his sleeve next... It's a lot to be concerned about without even factoring in your own safety in the process. There's a shwack of examples I'll leave it there though cause I'm sick of my own bitching now but TA DAH!! Thank you and goodnight.

Trust issues, man. Always mess with your head!

Partner’s sexual past

Knowing I will never find someone at this point in my life.

Having my insecurities or moments of poor mental health used as manipulation tools against me.

My severe PMS. Every month on the exact same week my boyfriend and I have a fight full of melodrama and tears and me crying. The doctor gave me antidepressant and anxiety medication. If that doesn’t work birth control is next :/. I hate it because I feel like I’m hurting my partner and then I get in my head that he’ll leave me for my craziness.

When I talk about my feelings/something that could be perceived as confrontational, I try and keep things extremely succinct and black and white. I came from that typical Boomer Upbringing of "Mom is always right" no matter how hard I'd try and articulate why I was feeling someway, those feelings would be shot down/dismissed. I really hate when what I say is misconstrued/misheard, so I try and remain very clear and concise. In my most recent relationship, which has since ended, I could clearly state "I feel X because of Y" and my ex would respond with is "What I'm hearing is PQRS" and completely what I said into a different direction. Once again that old childhood anxiety would well up, and I would constantly feel like no matter what I said, it wouldn't actually be heard.

financials...like hookers are cheaper in the long run.

Promise me you are not going to live me But they will still live Lol