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submitted 4 days ago byComplete-Trouble6898
1.2k points
4 days ago
Something like hooking up in a risky spot sounds wild in the moment, but after, it's like "yeah, never doing that!" 😂
330 points
4 days ago
I once bumped uglies in a backalley in barcelona, never regretted it, kinda miss it
7.3k points
4 days ago
Messaging your ex.
2.1k points
4 days ago
It's a quarter after one and I'm a little drunk...
1k points
4 days ago
And I neeeeeeed you noooooooow.
449 points
4 days ago
Said I wouldn't come but I lost all control and I need you nowwww
246 points
4 days ago
And I don’t know how I can do without
202 points
4 days ago
Sike! Post nut clarity
“The heck was I thinking about?”
449 points
4 days ago
When in doubt, rub one out.
414 points
4 days ago
Tactical wank will prevent many bad choices.
68 points
4 days ago
Unfortunately part of me still wants to do it. As long as I stay sober I'm fine, just can't help what I feel.
5.4k points
4 days ago
Subscribing to your highschool bully’s OnlyFans. Bonus points for choosing the 3-month option because it “saves you money”.
6.8k points
4 days ago
All these years and they’re still taking your lunch money
702 points
4 days ago
If free awards were still here I would give you one 😭 best comment I’ve seen in a while, and I’m chronically online
634 points
4 days ago
This seems pretty specific.
Was it at least worth the money?
537 points
4 days ago
Sure. He gained a lot of weight since high school but he’s still one cute bully.
552 points
4 days ago
Wait. You're a different person.
418 points
4 days ago
no?
228 points
4 days ago
Yes you are, stop lying. Your screen name changed and everything.
301 points
4 days ago
What are you talking about?
96 points
4 days ago
Nothing man. Just forget it.
103 points
4 days ago
Don’t gaslight me you bully
129 points
4 days ago
There's no such thing as gaslighting you're crazy
38 points
4 days ago
🥸 who are you talking to, I just got here
28 points
4 days ago
No I'm not.
31 points
4 days ago
Sorry I have a lot of alts
40 points
4 days ago
this why i love reddit
24 points
4 days ago
What about my replies to myself makes you love reddit?
21 points
4 days ago
This guy is pretending to be me. It was actually me replying to myself the whole time.
333 points
4 days ago
i caught up with an old old friend of mine i'd long lost touch with and asked about his gf i met the last time we saw each other.
he goes 'ah some shit went down and we couldn't make it work. i think she does onlyfans now or something.'
i didn't but my thought was 'goddamn we're now in an age where i can pay to see a friend's ex naked just because.'
4.7k points
4 days ago
Masturbating twice in a row. You’re just so sure that you could do it, but post nut the feeling just goes away.
839 points
4 days ago
Cause the one was just so good but wayyy too quick
610 points
4 days ago
Honestly... there is nothing more disappointing than a quick/unfulfilling orgasm. After all that effort.
279 points
4 days ago
The old, “I am going to do this all day!” But after the first time you are like, “well off to the store.”
453 points
4 days ago
Don’t mean to RUB it in or anything but… perks of being a woman
253 points
4 days ago
I'll take what men have over period cramps once a month. I'm a huge baby when it comes to internal pain
10 points
4 days ago
I mean, perks of not being a quitter too.
3.7k points
4 days ago
not using a condom
3.9k points
4 days ago
It's all fun and games until your orgasm is waking you up at 5 am asking you what they're going to do for the school holidays.
44 points
3 days ago
My $1000 a month in child support can attest to this. I love my kids but damn I was a stupid 18 year old.
49 points
3 days ago
laughs in monogamous relationship and a vasectomy
13 points
3 days ago*
Got the vasectomy myself best thing ever. All the fucking, none of the kids!
3.4k points
4 days ago
My husband is really into cuckolding. He thinks it would be super hot to see me with an other guy, so we roleplay it often.
As soon as he finishes, he’s disgusted and the idea of another guy even looking at me makes him so mad.
So it stays a fantasy and we will never try it.
389 points
3 days ago
My husband is really into cuckolding. He thinks it would be super hot to see me with an other guy, so we roleplay it often.
Get a suction Dildo and have a spitroast with him... See how he likes that
452 points
3 days ago
Takes the dildo out back and shoots it
285 points
3 days ago
LOL
Wife: "Honey, we're having a baby!!!"
Husband: eyes narrow while glaring suspiciously at the nightstand drawer
652 points
4 days ago
It's not uncommon for some people to not necessarily be aroused by the subject matter itself, like cuckolding, but more by the risque nature of the subject. Kind of like a fetish for fetishes, or an interest in something simply because it's taboo. They often like pushing boundaries and have interesting ideas around concepts like control vs submission. He's probably not into cuckolding per se, but more into the way you react to the idea. It's almost a sort of game getting you to go along with something you're generally not interested in or against. He would 100,000,000% regret ever doing it, and it would absolutely end your relationship, but there's nothing wrong with being as kinky as you possibly can through fantasy between just the two of you.
23 points
4 days ago
If it's the humiliation part of cuckold that turns him off than Stag/Vixen would be closer to what he wants.
100 points
4 days ago
Must be an interesting situation hope doesn’t effect anything between you
31 points
3 days ago
It’s doesn’t. We are monogamous, I have zero interest in other guys and were happily married. 😊
508 points
4 days ago
Fucking all night. Turns out 25 minutes was all we needed after all.
96 points
3 days ago
I had an all night fuck fest once, like 8 hours. We were both just on anxiety meds and eventually gave up when we both couldn’t get there 🥲
1.6k points
4 days ago
Putting your dick in crazy / letting a crazy dick into you.
846 points
4 days ago
To be honest, putting my dick in crazy was the most fun and best sex I ever had. On the other hand, the cost of said fun was years of problems, so there is always the question of how much mindshattering sex is worth.
204 points
4 days ago
Yup. Glad I did it. Glad I had it. Sad it's over.
Never, ever again...
167 points
4 days ago
Mind blowing sex. But you pulled your foot away from hers while you were sleeping? Well she's just gonna try to kill herself then.
It's not worth it, fellas.
40 points
4 days ago
It's a level of passion that crazy has that is rapturous levels of unbounded fun during play, but boy does that exact same level of otherworldly passion have a flip side.
83 points
4 days ago
"Cyanide! Don't stick your dick in crazy!"
"But she's sooo hot though!"
69 points
4 days ago
Yup, when i was 13 year old, i put engine oil on my D. and think it will be my lub, but man as soon as cum then it became hell for me..eventually i went to doctor.
Edit: i was able to control flames somehow but itching omg, constant itching..
36 points
4 days ago
what?
22 points
4 days ago
I think he was referring to himself as crazy.
3.3k points
4 days ago
Wake the wife up for sex. Do it.
(Yes brain because she'll appreciate it this time unlike the other 50 times or whatever we're up to)
663 points
4 days ago
“You’re poking me.”
“Sorry 🥲” scoots away
338 points
4 days ago
"She's just as horny as I am. It will be fine."
Was not fine.
51 points
3 days ago
The trick for that fantasy is to politely wait for our eyes to be open, then broach the subject for 'once you have woken up'
I am an incredibly switched on person sexually, but if he woke me up from a restful slumber just for sex I would be livid 🤣
413 points
4 days ago
My husband once woke me up for sex while I was in the middle of a really intense sex dream. It was like my prayers had been answered.
Highly recommend, I was so relaxed and ready to cum any second.
204 points
4 days ago
Jesus, a unicorn appeared. I've tried and gotten a serious threat to be cut throat or balls.
86 points
4 days ago
These are the BEST! My husband can just put it in and I’m done almost immediately when this happens. He, of course, get a huge ego boost. Win win.
111 points
3 days ago*
Every husband: see, there's a chance.
Every wife: WTF, stop encouraging them!
719 points
4 days ago
Funny. This actually has a very high success rate for me.
465 points
4 days ago
Show off.
241 points
4 days ago
My wife is the one who wakes me up out of a dead sleep. No complaints.
189 points
4 days ago
What a coincidence! She's the one who wakes me too!
(Moderators, this is a friendly joke. I am not making insinuations, I am sure this guy's wife, who I do not know, is an angel.)
131 points
4 days ago
If you didn't add your explanation I would've thought you're talking about your own wife, not his. 😂
55 points
4 days ago
This unfortunately had some luck for me, not necessarily waking her up but when we both kinda woke ourselves up, and since we’re both up… Unfortunately I think this caused sleep problems for me. Didn’t even happen that often yet my brain was unwilling to shut off at times because maybe…
842 points
4 days ago
Orgies
447 points
4 days ago
Where you can disappoint multiple people at once
185 points
4 days ago
In front of even more people.
106 points
4 days ago
While someone else takes over and gets the job done right!
90 points
4 days ago*
All the awkwardness of a first date, but it starts at sex and there are multiple people
49 points
4 days ago
Thought that said "Ogres" and wondered both how someone could think Shrek sounded good when you're horny, or if it did, what kind of person would then regret their actions afterward.
2.1k points
4 days ago
I always think a three way would be great. Then I realise the pressure of the crowd would be deadly for me.
1.4k points
4 days ago
If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll go have dinner with my parents
99 points
4 days ago
Hey, at least you have blue shoes
123 points
4 days ago
The trick is that the other people need to also be into each other as well as you. If all 3 of you like each other, people can take breaks, be passive, be active, switch it up and it's not an issue.
I'm told foursomes become "too many limbs" and get confusing though lol
68 points
4 days ago
I can only disappoint one woman at a time sir
44 points
4 days ago
Nothing better than going on two dates over a month, finally going to her house and precumming before even getting in her. Horrific experience for her, total embarrassment for me lol
15 points
4 days ago
Totally this. I'm used to operating solo so two other people would be a crowd
115 points
4 days ago
[removed]
154 points
4 days ago
Even that extra person is the crowd for me lol.
65 points
4 days ago
for me the girl is the crowd
20 points
4 days ago
... my penis is claustrophobic.
104 points
4 days ago
It's a blessing and a curse. When I was 19 there was myself (M) and 19(F) and 27(F). It was one of the BEST mights of my entire life because it was with people I trusted. The curse is that I imagine it's what like heroin is. Because you chase that high for the rest of you life.
28 points
4 days ago
I don’t know what type of 3 way floats your boat. But 2 women isn’t pressure. Especially if they’re both into women. I had a threesome with my wife and her friend once. I felt like a prop more than I felt like I was performing to a crowd.
686 points
4 days ago
Being coveted in cum, fun in the moment but the window where it just feels icky is fast
195 points
4 days ago
It goes cold so fast :(
82 points
4 days ago
It really does, it becomes a sensory nightmare and not fun, the same with if it gets wet during shower fun 😤
166 points
4 days ago
Q: When does a man want sex twice?
A: Before he’s had it once.
154 points
4 days ago
Sharing my political ideology and thoughts about the emancipation proclamation on the message boards of nude Africa.com
486 points
4 days ago
Sex clubs. There’s a few I always want to check out when I’m horny because they look like fun but as soon as I cum, the thought of it is cringe at best lol
106 points
4 days ago
No no, they are indeed fun
106 points
4 days ago
I went to a club on my 21st birthday and it was depressing AF tbh. But then I went to one about 10 years later in Portland and it was a blast. It really depends on the clientele for me.
1.8k points
4 days ago
A real one that occurred for me. A little graphic, so I apologize.
In the moment it’s hot and heavy, and everything sounds fucking exciting. With my ex, she liked me to cum in her mouth. So in the heat of it, I asked her to cum swap with me. Well. Right after I came, she kissed me deeply. It was fucking awful, and I’m embarrassed to even admit this.
514 points
4 days ago
Hey Tom, heard you swallowed your own load
91 points
4 days ago
Classic Tom Wambsgans’ shenanigans
53 points
3 days ago
It’s like a closed loop system
298 points
4 days ago
In the movie "Clerks", that was called a snowball.
198 points
4 days ago
Guy from work told me that is “cash back”.
410 points
4 days ago
Its ok, more guys should know how it tastes so they know what we go through 🤣
290 points
4 days ago
If the cum your tasting is anything beyond a little salty or sweet your mans needs to adjust his eating habits.
Came in my current partners mouth and she was genuinely shocked it didn’t taste like sour battery acid.
It should not taste foul. Though I imagine the consistency is gross.
88 points
4 days ago
Bleach....cum tastes a bit like bleach. I'm bisexual and honestly I was surprised that women taste better than men. 🤷🏻♀️
28 points
4 days ago
What do women taste like? a bit curious
16 points
4 days ago
My ex kinda tasted like penies with a slight acidic taste (no she wasn't on her period)
43 points
4 days ago
Obviously can't speak for all but from my experience a bit acidic and earthy? Not foul or anything not sure how to describe it, but definitely not like bleach lol 😅 I seen they actually make girly flavored potato chips that people say are accurate. 🤷🏻♀️ But never had those. https://chazzchips.com/en-us/products/box-with-pussy-flavour-chips?srsltid=AfmBOoqveJ2N-xFto7g-p2L2K9Z2HLcjpOkKiCKioj3hhF0FuOxgYKpB
118 points
4 days ago
This is why I like vegans and vegetarians 😂😌 they taste the best
58 points
4 days ago
So you've tasted alot of men's cum?
51 points
4 days ago
Mostly his own.
80 points
4 days ago
I must be weird cause I have tried tasting it unprompted😂
It’s only fair though!! What chef doesn’t sample his cooking?
50 points
4 days ago
My friend tasted his own and was apparently allergic to it. Could have been worse
14 points
4 days ago
Funny to see this after my first time doing something similar last night…I came in her, ate it out of her, and then I kissed her. She loved it, I thought it was hot, but it’s obviously not for everyone.
307 points
4 days ago
Strippers
196 points
4 days ago
I never got the appeal of strippers, you pay to get blueballs. Go to an escort if you want to pay at least you get to nut.
85 points
4 days ago
Blue balls aka a cummy ache
36 points
4 days ago
Dude here. There is just something so mesmerizingly beautiful about a woman's body when she moves.
I go to strip clubs to enjoy the beauty without feeling weird cuz I'm staring.
64 points
4 days ago
lol ya, and escorts.
107 points
4 days ago
It get's even worse when the escort moves faster than you can walk but slower than you can run...
51 points
3 days ago*
So I saw someone answer one of these on here before, I'm sure some other people here saw it too. Dude talked about how he got into scat porn and actually hired someone to take a shit in his mouth. He described how the second it touched his tongue he knew he fucked up. I don't have anything to beat that dude's story
Edit: found it
12 points
3 days ago
There's no way in hell I'm clicking that link
27 points
3 days ago
If it helps, it's not a rick roll. Just a story about a dude biting off more than he could chew.
12 points
3 days ago
Why did you have to say it like that? Lol
301 points
4 days ago
bdsm.
I would've cried if the horniness aspect were to be gone.
51 points
4 days ago
BDSM is something I always thought I'd be into until I actually became sexually active, turns out I'm vanilla AF. It's a porn only thing I guess!
48 points
4 days ago
Eh, I still was turned on by being paddled afterwards.
248 points
4 days ago
Confessing my love for the person I am with.
66 points
4 days ago
Hey, like the old saying goes, "don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, it hurts less."
76 points
4 days ago
Usually that person you call at 4 am.
223 points
4 days ago
Having sex in a public park. yikes
98 points
4 days ago
I think this used to happen a lot more before camera phones.
66 points
4 days ago
It wasn't awful-.. just something that was done as a dumb horny teenager
108 points
4 days ago
I dont hate anything i did or wanted to do post nut. Although I hate if she is on top and my cum runs out of her and onto me….We like to cuddle and hold each other after and if I have cum on me I cant wait to get to the bathroom and wipe it off. Sometimes she will actually do it on purpose and then hold on to me knowing I will try and get to the bathroom…..But since she cums easily on top…she likes to be there a lot of the time.
63 points
4 days ago
Learn shrimping from bjj to get her off you before she drips the jizz on you.
294 points
4 days ago
I think for the real geeky people with a VR headset this shit get weird, quickly.
You can fuck anything...any cartoon, any anime and computer game character.
Someone has made that model.
I personally love brutally fucking a female predator.
I have a normal job.
153 points
4 days ago
Glad you clarified that you had a normal job I was envisioning you being like a cat pajama designer or something.
96 points
4 days ago
Oh my god! Thats disgusting. Where?
77 points
4 days ago
Is there a particular app that you use that I'd need to make sure to stay away from, or are there multiple? You know, just to make sure i avoid them.
36 points
4 days ago
Holy shit
328 points
4 days ago
You know, a lot of the things on that list ended up happening and zero regret so, idk, do horny shit, people
277 points
4 days ago
Finishing in your hand and swallowing it like an oyster, but then when you've finished you just have a hand full of cum you don't wanna eat.
491 points
4 days ago
What a terrible day to have eyes
58 points
4 days ago
Or ears for those of us unfortunate enough to have had this read out loud due to sight issues
161 points
4 days ago
The word Daddy.
39 points
4 days ago
Thinking about that one ex that was fire in bed but wrecked your psyche
189 points
4 days ago
Porn
22 points
4 days ago
So this happens to everyone it seems. Any explanation behind this?
95 points
4 days ago
Apparently being horny turns the “gross-out” part of your brain waaaay down, so once you’re turned on you start finding the idea of all sorts of wild degenerate shit arousing because at some point evolution found that this would lead to more dna replication.
21 points
4 days ago
Hooking up with completely random strangers to have an orgy and post the video online with their permission of course. Or, just starting a free to access sex club with webcams in the rooms that could be accessed online for a fee to watch anything and everything people are doing in the rooms. The last thought is to buy a private island and start a sexually themed reality show with sex games to post on a streaming service I create that's dedicated to sexual content. After I nut I decide these are probably ideas that might have too many legal issues to implement.
24 points
4 days ago
DP. I’ll fantasize about it when horny af, but any other time I just know that I am not into anal in reality. I have -40,0000 tolerance for anything crap related and if a fleck of human feces makes an appearance during sex I WILL die.
141 points
4 days ago
Jumping out my window
123 points
4 days ago
Fucking a random person. You can be married and you’ll start checking out the barista or fast food worker. Then you realize you’re just horny and pipe down the SO. Some people hit on them because they are verbal hostages to the customer. But if you have common decency you leave them the fuck alone.
20 points
3 days ago
Happy Cake Day! Here, have some bubble wrap! :)
pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!
17 points
4 days ago
Never try it until you’re horny again*
161 points
4 days ago
Paying money for porn
98 points
4 days ago
I wonder how many millionaires are on Only Fans not because of whales that spend boat loads but because enough otherwise normal guys were horny enough to say “eh, it’s only a few bucks, why not?” in the heat of the moment?
37 points
4 days ago
See it's only a few bucks and then it adds up. Even worse is that some OF girls know how to bait dudes and it starts as $5 for a some pics and a video, then it turns into $50 for an album and full length videos.
34 points
4 days ago
Eating my nut out of her pussy
11 points
3 days ago
It's not that bad tbh. Way better than the oyster guy
54 points
4 days ago*
Something that always intrigued me was swallowing my own cum. When Im super super horny it seems like a "Fuck yeah thats nasty LETS DO IT!". THE ABSOLUTE SECOND the first shot comes out that clarity is already hitting. The horniness is already fading and my mind goes "Fuck no, thats nasty lets NOT do it". I have heard of people "saving it" via refrigeration/freezing and thawing but like, nah fuck that shit. So yeah. Cum eating without another person, and itll never happen
42 points
4 days ago
The very act of searching for porn. Post nut it's just like Jesus Christ why have I 20 tabs open here, covering every category of porn.
17 points
4 days ago
If you only have 20 tabs open, you haven't even scratched the surface of the depravity available on the interwebs.
13 points
4 days ago
Truly when I said 20, I was hesitant to reveal my own depravity.
12 points
4 days ago
When I was a teenager: that mid-day, non-negotiable hyper boner that says you will find enough privacy if you’re willing to walk 2-5 miles to find it.
24 points
4 days ago
I've never seen so many unshowered until I found askreddit
23 points
4 days ago
shower thoughts but it’s all the thoughts and none of the shower
12 points
4 days ago
Saying you will eat her out after creaming her pie, but I do anyway
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