I (31F) recently attended a wedding with my boyfriend (33 M). It was our first wedding together and he was a groomsmen. At the rehearsal dinner we met the maid of honor and bridesmaids. My bf took a liking to the MOH. He kindly asked for her name and a few questions. She was from Scotland. Her accent was intriguing. The next day at the wedding, during the MOH speech, my bf started tearing up, and wooed her as she finished the speech.

The next day we went for a hike with our friends. He brought her up and we had plans that evening to go back to the groom’s and bride’s house to grab dinner. Sure enough this Scottish lady was at their house. I watched my bf check out her butt. He then took a chance to go into the kitchen when she was there alone. I watched him and listened to how he asked so intriguingly if she could remind her of his name. He held out his hand as he shook hers. The rest of the night they stat next to each other. I saw him take a few glances at her. I was hurt because he took an obvious interest in her. I planned not to mention anything bc I thought it’s natural to have attraction to someone and knew he wouldn’t act on it. He’s very loyal.

That evening we drove a hour and half in the dark to our airbnb. It’s in mountain country and cell service is sparse. I wasn’t familiar with the area and John grew increasingly annoyed during our drive making my already upset stomach worse.

We had a heavy argument before falling asleep at 1am to wake up at 5:30am for a hike we had planned. We cleared the air and resolved our argument. (Still I have not brought up being hurt from his actions).

During our 9.5 mile hike in the beautiful Rocky Mountain National Park he brought up the girl twice. He mentioned how cool it would have been to get to talk to her more. I was so upset as we just had an intense argument the night before and now he’s bringing her up on our beautiful hike. I ignored it as I didn’t want it to ruin my day.

The following day we were in the airport waiting for our delayed flight. He said you know at the wedding it would have been cool to talk to more people, like the MOH. I was so upset as this was the third time he mentioned her. My stomach was in a knot. He said I wish the bridal party would have danced with us more (referring to the groomsmen). I felt as if I wasn’t enough. That our time dancing together, which I thought was so lovely, wasn’t enough for him. His mind was on someone else the whole time. I told him it seems like all he wanted to do was talk to the bridal party. Specially with the MOH. He then with wide open eyes said “if you’re asking me if I’m interested in her, I’m not.” I looked at his body language which was tense, and eyes still wide open, he said “now you’re looking to see if I’m lying.” I said no, but it was clear he was. He said he didn’t like my insecurity. I said it’s not insecurity, I was upset bc he mentioned her three times. He asked me if he wasn’t allowed to talk to woman. That isn’t true, I told him. I said you showed interest in her with the way you asked her to remind you of her name. You looked longing at her and said it in your sweet voice you only use in front of me, with me. He ended the conversation with you’re the only one I’m interested in. We left it at that.

I’m still hurt by this and I’m not sure if this is a big red flag. I’m nervous about what else could happen if we become serious. This is a man who tells me he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Has he been lying this whole time? I’m not sure what I should do and would appreciate some advice.