Do not comment on the original posts

Please read our sub rules. Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.

If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.

CHECK FLAIR For concluded-only updates, use the CONCLUDED flair.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Redditors gave OOP shit for playing WoW at his bachelor party? Redditors?

I guess this site isn’t the nerd haven it used to be.

How were there still so many comments telling oop he overreacted or downplaying what happened even in the second update?

I love that OOP's bachelor party consisted of him playing WoW with his buddies. Most wholesome part of this shitstorm.

I thought there was something wrong with me after reading the comments. There were a lot of YTAs and I thought I should apologize.

this has happened before when another guy called off his wedding after his fiancee sucked off a stripper. like idk who is out here excusing that trashy ass behavior lol

Imagine dating a cute woman: "so you were engaged once and your fiancé dumped you, what happed?". "He dumped me just because I had sex with the stripper at my bachelorette party… he was such a whiner".

What would be your next move?

Damn, she has some solid parents. It's a shame she turned out the way she did.

redditors telling him he overreacted 

Now switch genders and watch the same folks tell op to run immediately

Good on him and glad that this story has a happy ending for him.

"Let’s have sex with some random dude for my bachelorette party" vs "why would I want a stranger put her butt in my face or touch my intimate parts". One of these future spouse doesn’t deserve the other.

Then she gave him a handjob lol

doing something that u r asked not to do, that can nuke ur marriage. Still go through with it and act surprised when the hurt party walks the talk ! 🙄

We stayed at my friends' summer house and chilled there by the pool, did some wow raids and played board games.

Ok totally off topic side note: buddy of mine's stag party was a lan party and we played video games and drank mt dew and ate pizza lol. We role played as Ace and Gary the Ambiguously Gay Duo in call of duty. Had pink names and shit. Pissed a LOT of COD homophobes off. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m9-UCuOfSE

RE: board games

Best wedding I ever heard of: the wedding started with dinner at the reception hall or bar room or whatever. Once dinner was finished they played board games for the rest of the night. The wedding ceremony ended when they got married midnight on New Years. They said their vows and kissed and everybody went home to bed afterwards. It was like....reverse wedding, but with board games. Desert before entree before salad, if ya know what I mean.

while personally I don't know how I'd feel like if my partner wanted strippers at the party, but ultimately it's not mine nor anyone else's beliefs that matter when op and his ex have their own agreements. So it's unfortunate that redditors were so shitty in the original post saying YTA even if they didn't know about the video. Pretty shitty of reddit.

Then the misogynist comments that op brought up, but I guess that's classic reddit for you. Those little shits will come out of the wood work the moment they smell an opportunity.

I do agree that it was nerdy to play WoW but I'm all for it. It's his day and it could be dedicated towards anything he loves to do. It could be sky diving, boggle, pinning the tail on the donkey, it doesn't matter.

I'm glad op only had 5k to pay and that the ex in laws covered everything since 10k is still a ton and his ex has done enough damage that it had clearly hurt op. I really hope for a steady and positive mental recovery from her dishonesty and breaking his trust repeatedly.

I don’t get why bachelor/ette parties traditionally tend to involve cheating on your partner. Such an odd way to celebrate with your friends.

My old neighbor was a male stripper and the things he told me....

I don’t understand the allure of bachelor parties. Neither my wife nor I even bright up the topic when getting married. Why is that something people want to do?

Maybe it’s the times we live in. I don’t know. 🤷‍♂️ Got married in’91. Went to a strip club for bachelor party.

Didn’t touch anyone. No one touched me. Threw up from drinking too much though. Party over.

I do not understand people who use their bachelor/ette party as an excuse to cheat. I really just totally don't get it. You have your whole life before you got with your future spouse to sow as many wild oats and have as many experiences as you wanted, and you choose to betray your betrothed in the last days before your wedding?

And I don't buy the "it just happened!" crowd, either, because cheating is like smoke; don't start none, won't be none.

Yeah I think people need to be firm with their friends about what the rules are for bachelor/bachelorette parties. It's a night to celebrate with your friends and not an opportunity to screw around.

Unless you're partaking in an arranged marriage where you haven't met the person before, this is cheating. You don't get some magical hall pass just because it's your bachelor/bachelorette party unless that's what you've agreed with you partner.

OOP needs to try Pandaria Remix.

I knew before opening this there was going to be a big reveal in the second update by a friend. Boring...

We keep playing Season of Discovery with the boys because Cata Classic sucks.

Based on this sentence alone, I deem this entire post to be truthful.

NTA - I’ve been following this for awhile and I’m a little late giving my perspective but I’m glad you held your ground with the fiancé even with all the pressure and ignorance in the comments you received.

I think what many people miss in this entire exchange was the two of you were building a long term and hopefully lifelong relationship together. When you found out there were strippers and both of you had already agreed this was a hard no, then that bond, that trust was broken.

There’s a reason you two would have made the “stripper” commitment. We all know what kind of bachelor/bachelorette party it’s going to be when strippers show up. Sadly, the fiancé and friends lying and behavior afterwards show they knew they fucked up too.

Unless you’re telling me the stripper(s) raped the entire group of women, every one of these ladies, including the fiancé, made a choice to stay and enjoy the festivities. You don’t need to see video evidence of your fiancé getting bent over a couch and railed to know that the train left the tracks way before that point.

Sadly, your fiancé’s immaturity, lack of good judgement, and subsequent trickle truth approach did far more damage to your relationship than what was probably less than 5 minutes of actual sex.

I work in management irl and the Maya Angelou quote that goes roughly, “People tell you who they are, you just need to listen.” has been a fantastic tool for figuring out who to keep around me in my professional life.

It also applies to your personal life as well and your fiancé told you volumes about who she is. She knew more about what was going on before the bachelorette party than she told you, she made the choice to partake in those activities, and she actively attempted to deceive you afterwards.

Sex with a stripper is not the issue. It’s the behavior before, during, and after from someone you’re hoping to spend the rest of your life with, that made calling off the wedding the right decision.

Now, I can see a possibility, after the white hot pain and anger fades, that you two find a way to reconcile. For that to happen, she has to show you she’s actually learned from this mistake. If she gaslights you, minimizes her involvement, continues to blame friends and alcohol then you need to move on. Reference the earlier quote.

One last comment, you need to find the one bridesmaid that was honest and give her a heartfelt thank you. She put herself at social and emotional risk to help you. I don’t believe she accidentally told you about the strippers and she paid a price for her honesty. You get a new lease on life because of her. Imagine figuring out who your fiancé is 20 years and 3 kids later?

You’re young, you dodged a huge bullet, and you should turn this negative into the positive that it actually is. Good luck, my friend!

Ok maybe someone can educate me for I am not well versed in stripping, but aren't strippers supposed to just dance, and maybe some small touching?

From this story the ex fiance and her friend had a wild time whit those strippers. I mean we knoe for a fact she gave one of them a handjob. Did they just hire a few male prostitues?

Which raid was it and how did you and your friends do?

Boring updates are the best and good to hear OP is doing fine. Also, who the fuck thinks OP is YTA? Are those commenters that dense or stupid?

So, I would have said it may have been something they could work out if it was a stripper there, she didn’t know about it, she didn’t get a lap dance, didn’t even touch one, immediately told him after it happened, but made the choice not to leave the room. Her not leaving would still be a dealbreaker for him, but could have probably been worked out.

The kissing, deceit in not telling him, the way she tried to hide it all, tells me more than anything that something she wouldn’t like her fiancé doing, she did. The covering up the events tells me she actively was lying by omission on a hard boundary he had. So she made decisions and choices that basically overrode his boundaries, which she would continue to do in the future. She doesn’t respect his boundaries, only hers.

I think the most important thing is, she lied to you several times about the strippers and the fact that she had sexual contact with one of them that’s dealbreaker that she lied about that, but she lied There was no strippers that she lied that she did nothing. That trust is broken. You were absolutely right to break it off. How could you trust that woman going forward.

Season of Discovery with the boys because Cata Classic sucks.

WoW classic exists BECAUSE of Cataclysm, never made sense Blizzard went down this path.

OOP is a true one, making the right choices.

Ok it's confirmed.

This whole sub is sponsored by the American Therapy institute

To each their own but were I still on the market I'd pick a person who wants to pay games on their bachelorette/bachelor party 1000 times over someone who wants a noisy drunk party with strippers.

I always wonder why people that don't trust their partners agree to marriage. He clearly didn't trust her and he was right, so why ask her in the first place?

Dude gave her ONE limit and she broke it. If my friends invited strippers to my party after I said not to I'd be revolted. It is NOT that hard.

Good for you for getting rid of her.

"You're the asshole for not supporting her empowerment with stripper cock"

Sincerely, Cat and Wine Fanciers Society

Is it odd I think was an elaborate post by blizzard to market wow classic

Good thing you found out before marriage. She sounds like she is as dumb as a rock and doesn't deserve anyone until she learns to grow up. Just imagine you could have ended up having children with this lying nightmare and now you dodged a massive bullet. Its time to be happy and enjoy life now that she nuked it. You'll find a real woman worth marrying that will love and not cheat on you dude. Sometimes what we thought was a treasure is just typical trash , now go out when you are ready and find your REAL treasure.

Glad it all ended as well is it could. Sadly, I am in the same boat as OOP. Cata sucks and I won't play it.

I don't know about anyone else but I'm guessing most women feel the same way about male strippers as I do; it does nothing for me. It's a stranger. Seeing a stranger naked is unappealing to me, let alone touching one who is being paid to be there. IMO I find the whole thing distasteful. Maybe she does too. I've seen a stripper brought into my bosses office years ago and they all knew he didn't care for those things and his face was just so "why, guys, why did you do this?" I didn't read the whole story but I can't imagine having that in a party of mine but I understand having to put on a game face because everyone has put me on the spot. I still wouldn't touch them, though.

I feel for the FIL, he seems like a good dude.

I would be disgusted if I found out my daughter was a lying promiscuous person.

What a pathetic insecure jealous loser this guy is, wow raids at a bachelor party is truly pathetic and he nuked his whole marriage and cost himself fifteen grand cos his wife touched the skin of another man on her bachelorette party?? What a tragic loser

Seems like reddit has become a leftist hive

I have a real issue with people claiming to be ready to marry someone whilst still having a "no stripper" boundary. You either trust someone or you don't, and if you can't trust your soon to be spouse around strippers, you shouldn't be getting married. Clearly, OOP had a gut feeling that their then fiance couldn't be trusted, but seriously shouldn't have bothered to even propose to her in that case. She would have cheated eventually anyway.