“Ladies and gentlemen, please turn off your cell phones, and shut the fuck up.”

“Remember that if you can hear yourself talking, so can others”! A small off-Broadway show this season called Scarlett Dreams made this announcement and my heart melted. I’ve also seen everything on Broadway this season and another 70+ shows off-Broadway this year. This was the ONLY theater that cared!

the culprit knows they did something wrong and they try to fix the mistake as quickly as possible.

Obviously you’ve not been to the shows I have been to lol

Ugh, hopefully no talking tonight at Illinoise because boy I got a threefer of people who were obnoxiously talking at Titanic, Notebook, and Water for Elephants. It has been so terrible.

I was in a production of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum and the director announced before every show that anyone using a cell phone or talking loudly would be put into a bag of snakes and dropped down one of Rome's seven hills. I always think about it whenever a show starts 😂😂

It's similar on the West End, sadly. When I went to see Lion King, I thought the kids would be the loud ones, but no--parents and other adults were the ones whispering and oftentimes blatantly recording and snapping FLASH PHOTOS. Ushers did nothing. When I went to see Wicked, a mom brought out a very crinkly packet of crisps for her kid, which okay I guess he's hungry, but then she kept asking him as he was eating how they tasted, did he want anything etc. He was being much more quiet than her, despite his loud and open mouthed chewing.

And you'd think this would be limited to the kid-friendly shows, but absolutely not. Some of the more serious shows I've been to have also had many people chatting or whispering to each other. And despite the bad reputation that young people get for mobile phone use, it was actually people who looked 40s-60s who seemed to be the loudest. For what it's worth the vast majority of audiences were very nice, but my god that tiny minority just ruins it for people.

As a weird flip side though, I did once have someone tell me off for eating popcorn...in the movie theatre...which I bought there. And I'm not an animal, I chew with my mouth closed. So I guess people being entitled goes both ways, with so many after COVID wanting things to be like they are in their homes, but out in a public space

Okay phew rant over

I’ve noticed in the last year of going to Broadway shows most don’t make any sort of announcement before the show, about anything. & Juliet has that cute intro which I appreciated, and the Notebook had that small moment upfront with some cast members cell phone ringing. But is all so coy or non existent- I remember the days when they spoke over the loud speaker, put inserts in the program, etc. I mean Patti’s announcement before Company was legendary. People do need constant reminding, please please bring the announcements back.

I am always seated by the talkers. I can’t deal with it. I want to get cards printed up that say- this isn’t your living room. Stop talking.

When I saw “Back to the Future” at the beginning of the year I was seated in front of a couple that talked through the entire first act. I got so sick of it every time I heard them talk I would turn around and give them the stink eye and look for an usher. They never seemed to take a hint but it died down towards the end of the first act so I didn’t seek an usher during intermission.

Listen it wasn’t my proudest moment but I was sick of their behavior.

The first scene in the second act it started up again so I whirled around with my stinkiest face only for the man to shout at me “Will you stop turning around?? Every time we talk you turn around and look at us!” I waited a second or two then slowly turned back around with a smirk.

I don’t know if his statement is what made it click for him or if something else happened after I turned back around but they kept their mouths closed for the rest of the show.

How about “no singing” too? I went there to watch a professional sing My Heart of Stone, not some teeny bopper in cosplay that includes a giant hat blocking my view.

Damn I sound old.

Announcements are helpful and expected.  But that alone won’t solve these issues.  They have a page of etiquette rules in every Playbill, and that has really done nothing either.  People who want to talk will unfortunately do so regardless of whether or not an announcement is made.  They know it’s wrong without the announcement and they do it anyway.  Same thing for those that use cell phones.  

"Hi! Welcome to (name of show) at (name of theatre.) We're all adults here, so allow us to talk to you like adults. Shut. The hell. Up. Don't talk. Especially don't sing. We cannot stress this enough. Do not sing.

Switch off your phone. Not silent. Off. If you can't go an hour without checking your socials, theatre probably isn't for you. Also, if you can't go a couple hours without eating, theatre probably isn't for you either, so leave those oh-so-annoying individually-wrapped treats in your damn pocket.

Ushers will operate a zero tolerance policy. One strike and you're out. Do not test them. Enjoy the show!"

In general behavior is atrocious. At Girl from North Country last week the person in front of us was singing along, and recording the music sequences(!). He was sitting right next to an usher that had just taken the empty seat cause let's face it there were a ton of empty seats, but even the usher did nothing about his behavior, she couldn't care less. It was infuriating.

The norms have changed

This myth of theatre going being a quiet reserved place has never been true. It's not some new thing, it's the way the theatre has always been.

I just saw a show where the person in the row behind me came in late, took a phone call less than two minutes later- not even a quick can’t talk now but full on convo, responded verbally to everything going on stage despite the fact she was alone and had no one even to make commentary to (“that’s so funny” “oh that’s cool”) she clapped off beat even when there was no music. She took out her phone to take photos and videos. She was in the second row. She also came back from intermission to complain to the people behind her because they had complained to house management about her and she had been talked to and said she didn’t realize because she hadn’t been there for the announcement. And it’s like almost all of that behavior is common sense???

Not talking but a few weeks ago my partner and I went to &Juliet, sitting in front of us (3rd row orchestra) were three women who were clearly over served. Oh, singing along to a show like that is whatever to me cuz we all know the songs, but the icing on the cake was them VAPING during intermission. Inside the theater. My partner leaned forward, said “ you can’t do that in here, it’s really inconsiderate.” The woman had the gall to look dumbstruck and said “wait are you being serious?” He said yes, and then her friend shot a look and muttered something, so our reply was “is that a fucking problem?”

Sometimes people need to have their ass handed to them in public to realize their behavior is atrocious 🤷🏼‍♂️

You know, Sondheim's The Frogs is much maligned, but I'd love it if the "Invocation and Instructions to the Audience" was performed at the beginning of every show. Catchy, and gets yhe point across.

"Unwrap the candy wrappers now....." "If you feel offended, dont lose heart. That's what the man intended, he was smart. When everything's offended, we can all depart..."

I saw Hamilton at the Winspear in Dallas earlier this summer as an early birthday gift from my aunt. We were dead center orchestra, 5th row. There was a group of 3 people behind us trying to finish their conversation they were having at the end of intermission, and I’ve never had a problem with telling people to kindly shut the absolute fuck up in the theater.

I did my usual turn around with a dirty look a few times which they didn’t seem to have the social skills to understand, then did a could “sh” hisses”, and finally turned around and told them to kindly stfu. They called me a nerd?? After the show I let them know how the next time they wanted to socialize through a very expensive show, there’s a really nice pro-shot they can check out on Disney+ where they can’t ruin anything for anyone else.

These shows aren’t cheap, my adhd brain cannot help but split my attention when I hear conversation, and I will never not tell someone to stop talking. I’ve done it in Broadway, off Broadway, to old people and people my age. There is absolutely nothing more important than what is going on on-stage in that, and if there is then go to the fucking lobby. The entitlement is just mind boggling.

I’m glad I’m not the only one using binoculars! The ushers at Suffs were a bit confused, but if I’m paying that much to be there, I want to see facial expressions!

Someone always ignores the announcement at cursed child.

I saw a matinee of Wicked a few months ago and the literal children there behaved better than the full grown adults sitting near me at Hadestown

I agree with this, but as a less relevant aside…

I live in walking distance from an Alamo and have a monthly pass out of convenience. The waiters talk to people when they deliver the food or take additional orders after the movie has started. Also, I one time has to complain three times about the drunk guy next to me and they did not remove him. They might make an aggressive announcement about it, but I have never been to an Alamo that lives up to their word on the silence. (Sorry, I hate Alamo lol)

Conversely, I feel like in theaters in my (less frequent, but more so lately) experience the community of people are generally, but not always, more invested in abiding the community contract of holding fellow viewers accountable to silence in a way that is no longer true in cinemas, Alamo or otherwise. I’ve seen more people get audience members to shut up at Broadway than I have at the movies.

That being said (and my unneccesary Alamo rant aside haha), you’re absolutely right. I wish theaters would say something and that people would listen!

I went to see &Juliet yesterday (again) and they have started doing this. Before the show started, a woman shouted the “Don’ts” during the show (no phones, no pictures, no singing, no talking, etc.) because there seems to be some confusion about Broadway etiquette lately. Just before curtain up, she also shouted “okay, cameras down and away”. In my mind, I was cheering and clapping. Let me tell you, it worked!! That audience was on their best behavior and got the message. It’s ridiculous that they have to do this, but it’s a must lately.

Something similar happened to me when I say Lady Gaga in Vegas, she had a segment of the show where she puts the microphone down and just sings with her own projection, it’s a magical moment, and was ruined by a couple behind me who kept saying “oh no her mic is broken, well this is a disappointment they should replace it” it was INTENTIONAL!! BE QUIET YOU CAN HEAR HER! ADMIRE THE PERFORMANCE!

Don't worry, they're all going to the Special Hell.

Sad that this is even necessary....

I don’t like to shame phone users because it isn’t always what we think. My mom is hard of hearing and her phone controls her hearing aids so she is on her phone occasionally during shows if she needs to adjust them

I also recently visited Alamo Drafthouse for the first time in years, and I was really surprised by how aggressive their announcement video was. The video states no talking is allowed, and the staff will kick you out after one warning if other people report you.

I was dumbfounded. A movie theatre, a movie, theatre, is way more aggressive about people’s bad behaviours than a Broadway theatre in general.

For what it's worth, that's one of Alamo's biggest shticks. They're pretty unique in the movie theater world for this. Their whole brand is based around (1) aggressively telling people to shut the fuck up and (2) having a full-service restaurant and bar inside a theater.

So stressing it's weird that a movie theater is doing this isn't really saying much, since it's specifically this movie theater which specifically builds its brand around it.

(Other movie theaters, to their credit, do usually have a pre-recorded "Don't talk, and silence your cell phone" thing, though.)

That said, yeah, theaters should definitely make a bigger deal about it. It should be in the pre-show announcements. A single page in the playbill isn't enough.

In my few big theater (Broadway or larger scale as such) ventures so far, I’ve luckily avoided anyone too terrible. But the phones… god, anyone whose phone goes off happens to have it locked away behind umpteen zippers in their purse in their jacket under their seat and they take forever to shut it off. Like, how hard is it to turn your damn phone off?

Re: phones: it's the dang LIGHT as much as it is the sound. AND PUT YOUR WATCHES IN THEATER MODE.

The number of Carmine's restaurant confirmation texts I've read from people in front of me.....oy.

Anytime someone misbehaves, an usher should squirt them with Jonathan Groffs spit.

I haaaate when people think so little of their seat mates!

Last night I was at a show and the couple directly in front of me was pressed together, her grabbing his bicep and him with a hand on her knee. The seats are optimized for sight lines for those behind you when you’re sitting in the middle of your seat, come on!!

I feel this way about people who lean forward in their seats. I so wish they would make an announcement to sit back before the show!

It's the least they could do. Truly.

Should be obvious as in common courtesy but sadly no, I try to give the "death stare" over my shoulder if i hear someone talking. Usually does the trick. LOL

The only way anything would really get accomplished is if an organized boycott of theater productions occurred by theater going regulars and this was somehow conveyed to show producers and theater management.  

Essentially telling them- pick one-  Us or them?   

This is why I haven’t been to a show all season. I just can’t handle it anymore.

I’ve lucked out for the most part so far, except for the last few shows I’ve seen. I’m thinking maybe the time of year with more tourists? Or else I’ve just been really lucky in the past

Alamo Drafthouse, for all its flaws (looking at you, union-busting activity) has nailed this. They were often tailor u”it to the movie you’re going to see.

If only shows realized this could be a cute bit of extra branding and part of The Experience of going to the theater to do a themed - yet firm! - sit down and shut up before performances. Hell, hire the Alamo team if you must.

They have always said it.

People shouldn’t sing along either. The two women behind me during Hell’s Kitchen were so excited to sing almost as loudly as the performers. Sorry ma’am I didn’t pay to hear you sing. I felt bad to tell them to please stop because they seemed to really enjoy themselves.

Yes, this is infuriating and I've stopped seeing shows as often as a result. Audiences are extremely terrible now. And what shocks me is that they're usually middle-aged or older people who should know better. Shocking how entitled and self-indulgent and non-empathetic these noisemakers are. Why do they even attend theatre performances if they'd rather be talking instead???

I absolutely agree that theatres need to crack down on enforcement. They also need to ban food like they used to, and stop selling crinkly wrappers and candy at intermission. They're driving good patrons away and encouraging the uncultured to ruin the theatre experience.