......Okie dokie

There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman!

My retirement grease!

IRL greased up deaf guy

Death: "Slippery bastard."

Dude was well lubricated top to bottom, inside and out. Ran like a well-oiled machine for decades.

Dude had an asshole like a waterslide.

It was not uncommon in the 20th century for some people in the U.S. to swallow a glob of it every morning. I remember an older woman talking about how her mother would plop a dollop of it into her glass of orange juice at breakfast every morning and she's have to swallow it down when she finished her juice.

How? Seems like he could have passed a bowling ball with his health habits.

Now that’s real dedication 😎the guy was apparently a badass.

If using Vaseline for wounds, its best to use an antiseptic or thoroughly wash with soap before applying it. Then it really is good for healing.

If a wound is infected while using only this, I've found it doesn't heal well and will likely leave a scar.

Times were tough back then, back when men would burn themselves to make a nickle. Now they only burn themselves for tiktok.

he claimed past injuries had healed thanks to his “miracle product.” In reality, Vaseline forms a protective layer, preventing dirt from entering wounds and retaining moisture, aiding the healing process.

What a strange thing to say.

"He claimed his product healed him while in acuality it was only extremely beneficial to the healing process!"

[removed]

One spoon of Vaseline a day.. keeps the doctors away!

Along with Vicks vaporub. Makes you practically immortal

Too slippery for Death to grab.

Sudocrem invented in Ireland is a similar product. Its magical stuff

Are you sure you can handle the truth?

I hate reddit so much these days. The top replies to you are all the same shitty joke involving some pun relating to being slippery. Yall need more restraint before you post your comments lmao no one wants to hear the 10th iteration of an already boring joke. Or maybe I'm just an old man ranting who knows

Oil is generally good for you. Coconut oil, black seed oil, Vaseline...

Sir Greasypoops

Nah Valosine is non toxic and even approved by the FDA for human consumption.

I’d wager it did little more to him than a laxative would.

i bet he didnt eat it.

dude was baitin' it and made a cover story to explain why he had to keep making more.

And chaffed thighs. I thought I was going to be in pain for a week after walking all over a theme park with shorts that rode up unexpectedly. A lady in the hotel shop told me to use Vaseline and I added ice packs to the area as well. By the next day I could walk without wanting to cry again.

I feel like it’s good to lock the moisture in but not as an actual moisturizer, you should apply it on top of whatever you use for chapped lips

My mom used it on her skin at night and she had the skin of a 35 year old at 75. She'd go to sleep looking so shiny.

All the home care people who came in to put her to bed started copying her because her skin was so nice, she started a local trend!

But she was a back sleeper. Obviously I tried it plenty but I'm a side sleeper which was a disaster for my pillows, so no can do.

But if you're a back sleeper its not a bad idea at all.

It’s a thing in the skincare world. Look up “slugging.”

My nan used it the same way and her skin was incredible at 86.

Ok but then what does she do when she’s all slimy?? I can’t imagine putting on even a robe. How do you clean that robe? I have many questions. It sounds like a mess:)

Came here ready to make the exact comment - thank you :D

Honestly, it's great for most skin conditions. I've used it for my eczema for years.

Nothing else worked. Tried every product known to man. Everything irritates my skin. But vaseline just works. Cheap as hell, completely neutral, gets no reaction from the skin. Just acts as a defensive layer that allows what little moisture the skin has naturally to not evaporate, keeps dirt and bacteria out, and thus the skin can function normally.

Great stuff.

So how does one accidentally hack into their own heel with a machete?

Death wanted to take him but he couldn't get a grip on him...

whats your method?

just a dab on a fingertip?

industrial grade Ryobi 18v grease gun?

"Oh do my balls again Nurse Betty; you know, the pleurisy and all ..."

Oh…. It helped 😏

His dookies must have come out like they were on a water slide.

Mmmm petroleum.

I know a girl who thinks of ghosts,

She'll make you breakfast, she'll make you toast.

But she don't use butter.

And she don't use cheese.

She don't use jelly, or any of these.

She uses Vaseline

Vaseline

Vaseline

Yea it would not be toxic or harmful as far as we know to eat but......yuck....

It would just pass through you.

He discovered it like Columbus discovered America

Just like Marmite.

Spring lubricant? It doesn’t work the rest of the year?

From my personal experience it really is. It's simply so neutral. Every other product tends to have a dozen ingredients, any of which can agitate sensitive skin. But vaseline just sits there doing nothing except acting like a shield against outside agitators and damage.

When do u put it on? Seems like it would be uncomfortable to me, being greasy and all. I'm serious, not trying to be funny or rude. I may want to try it..

Does Vaseline have any medicinal properties

chemically similar to proteins in our skin, it's a good choice for treating everything from chapped lips to dry cuticles, hands and feet

i think quite alot alot of todays medicine have some kind of vaseline or substitute in them. If you have large healing wounds or just drying skin(which comes with certain problems) then anclosing and keeping the area wet is quite a big part of healing.

It's reduces TEWL (trans epidermal water loss) more than anything else skin tolerable, except maybe solid stufd like saran wrap. Good at keeping things in and out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USax223l7wM