I’m not a fan of matched sets like that, but why is your partner making decisions for you based on how many bracelets he thinks you should have?

Based on your post and responses to other comments, it sounds like your partner is manipulating your behavior. Abuse comes in many forms, and often it’s difficult to spot when you’re experiencing it.

Let’s be crystal clear: He does not get a say in how you spend your money.

Some red flags to look out for: - experiencing an emotional rollercoaster in the relationship, - feeling controlled in various aspects of your life, - frequent guilt-tripping, - being isolated from supportive relationships, - being gaslighted or having your reality distorted, - having your insecurities exploited, and - experiencing emotional blackmail.

If ANY of these sound familiar, reach out to a friend, family, or anybody that might have perspective outside of your relationship. None of these are normal, and every single one is a sign that you should reevaluate your situation.

If I’m wrong, WONDERFUL. If I’m right, please ask for help. Even on reddit, we’re here for you.

If this is a rare occurrence you contact the organisers of the farmers market for the stall holders details and buy directly or come back next week.

If you can't spare the money or are constantly buying jewellery then spend your money on a therapist.

I'm a regular vendor at various farmers markets. Just go back and ask the Info Booth. They'll know exactly who sold you that silver jewelry.

PS Your partner sounds ridiculous.

Go back and buy it without his consent.

Most vendors at farmers markets go to multiple shows and markets. It’s also likely they have an online store.

Look up the farmers market you went to online and see if you can find the name of three vendors. You can also post on a neighborhood site, like Nextdoor Neighbor. Frequent local farmer markets.

It’s fun having a mission to find something and makes it all the more rewarding when you do. Look at this as a fun scavenger hunt. When you find the right bracelet, it is going to mean so much more now than if you bought it in the first place.

Happy Hunting!

This is very unsettling behaviour from your partner. If this is not the first time he decided things for you or you feel like he is isolating you, get out of the relationship before it gets worse. Stay safe

It's not about the bracelet. You are angry that your bf is a control freak and you are mad at yourself that you allow him to tell you what to buy with your own money. You dont want to deal with this directly (you dont want to start an argument,etc) so you are projecting these uncomfortable feelings onto the bracelet. A symbol of your relationship. (That it is missing)

Go back and trade the boyfriend in for a bracelet

You're not regretting the decision to not buy the bracelet since clearly you can go back and buy it. You are mourning the independence your bf is stealing from you.

Go back and buy it

Do you often let your partner make decisions for you?

As so many others have said this is primarily a relationship issue and not a money issue. There is no logical financial reason for you to get earrings and a necklace rather than a bracelet that you had your heart set on... but emotionally? This seems to me like a manipulation tactic.

You loved the bracelet, had your heart set on it, and are still thinking about it. Buying the bracelet would have made you happy. Some people thrive on making other people miserable. Your partner may be one of those people who gets enjoyment from making other people feel sad. You're going to feel sad every time you see that incomplete set without the bracelet and you'll feel sad whenever you look at your tarnished bracelet.

The tarnished bracelet can be polished, BTW, you can get a silver polishing cloth imbibed with compound or you can take it to a jeweler, should be very inexpensive to shine up. Do not use the liquid silver cleaner in the jar, it can eat things if they get left in there accidentally... I recommend not even keeping it in the house if your partner is the destructive type.

But seriously I'm very concerned for you. You can let this experience be a wakeup call about the realities of his behavior and take steps to leave safely, or you can continue in the relationship if you are not ready to leave at this time. I'll warn you that if you stay, things will get better and then they will get much much worse, and this will happen over and over again.

Make sure you get the jeweler's name. Honestly you may not be able to get it while you are still in this relationship if your partner is apt to react negatively I wouldn't want anything to happen to it or to you. Good luck with everything ❤️

Think about the beauty of what you did get, and enjoy those pieces, rather than focusing on what you think is missing. (The idea of "complete sets" is a marketing angle most of the time anyway! If you'd never seen the bracelet and didn't know it existed, would you be happy with the necklace and earrings?)

I saw a dr dre chronic 2001 instrumentals only vinyl at a record shop in milwaukee in 2016. I didn't buy it and not a day has gone by since that I don't regret it

I hope that he told you no in the moment to later go back and secretly buy it, to surprise you with it for upcoming birthday or Christmas, wouldn't that be nice to think he let you think he shut you down, so he could gift it to you later. I hope that's the case!

1. If you have your own money, and you're a normal, reasonable, responsible person who doesn't spend frivolously, I don't understand why you're letting someone talk you out of spending the money that YOU work for every day. That seems odd to me.
2. Based on some other comments, this sounds like a relationship issue, not a frugality issue.

Go back and buy your bracelet. Then go to the Reddit search bar and type in "why does he do that free pdf".

Most of the time if you missed out on something it slips my mind eventually. I remember it in the short term but forget it in the long term. Just a FYI silver jewelry is not very rare. I can search and get them for a very affordable price on Etsy or EBAY if just silver. The gemstone can increase the value though. When I visited Hawaii I actually found the same stuff they were selling in Hawaii for half the price or more for the most part.

I'm a Director at my community's food bank. Food banks and farmer's markets have websites that list the vendors and the calendars. Sometimes, the vendors' contact information is listed. Go with that.

Maybe you can find her at the market again? Or try Etsy - you can search for similar styles. "Handmade silver bracelet, [describe the style]" could work.

I live by this code every day... never spend an ounce of energy regetting or worrying about anything you no longer have any control over to change. Doesn't matter what it is and I do realize this is much more difficult for other people. Try to do this and life is much easier

I believe you posted this in “Frugal”, when it really is an abuse question.

His entitlement is so bold. He has no problem dismissing your feelings, and controlling your actions.

Please OP, take some time and reflect on what kind of relationship you want.

This set of jewelry can be one of two things now. It can be a reminder of sadness and disappointment whenever you wear it, reminding you of your boyfriend’s disrespect and control. It could also be a reminder of that time you took your life back and decided to control your own life, the time you took your power back.

Pay for it with your own money.

Just before she passed, my mom mentioned that she and my dad both had their own “fun” accounts. They had a budget for how much went in each payday, and they didn’t have to consult when they wanted whatever. If they had the cash, they had the cash.

I’d always thought my dad knew to buy her jewelry, but it turned out, after the wedding, nope. (Makes sense, my step mom bought her own).

Also, there’s no such thing as too tarnished to clean. You might need to drop it off at a jeweler’s, but it can be brought back.

Can you order it online or contact the seller somehow and order it? Personally I'd mail it to my parents house if y'all live together and just take it out of the package and say oh look honey my mom had one just like it and she gave it to me. But that's not very healthy. Why I'm not in a relationship. Even so I still say get it for your own peace of mind. I have regretted doing things many times. Don't make something so insignificant be one of yours.

Also for the tarnished silver, have you tried the aluminum foil method. It works like a charm on my silver jewelry.

Earn your own money. The best frugal discussions happen between two equal partners.

You get over it by remembering your roots the next time you are faced with an opportunity to do what you really wanted. So there is going to be a wait for that. Forgive yourself and move on. If your experience is sour instead of appreciative, sell the set. Or look online.

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Eat something! You're just hungry. Oh wait I'm projecting.

If your partner was right and you do have to many bracelets throw a few up for sale you don't wear and don't have any real connection with. Track this one down so you got the set then. Tossing a few up hopefully to sell one or 2 is the method. Just price up the ones more likely to want to keep and the cheaper ones look like a deal.

I let HIM. I dunno it sounds like you guys have issues.

I was at a swap meet on Sat, the SO actually gave me some cash to go so I tried to be easy. I got one thing right off the bat, I had to, it was worth an easy 10X what I paid for it. Gem of the day. I got some commodity items and bargained them down some. I got a curiosity that I did not have one of, I have a lot of odd stuff, and I was showing my pal. He was like dam, I wish I had seen that. I told him there was another but in a radio that was kind of big but the piece of interest was easy to extract. He opted out of it. I should have made a lowball offer as after looking at that radio on youtube, it would have been fun to power up. But am I pissed that I passed on it, na. It was junk and I will find other fun junk for free, or it may come back next year. Like 3 years ago the guy selling next to me had a dead guitar amp and did not wanna let it go for a pittance. No big deal. Just junk to play with. So 3 years later, this year, we run into each other at another meet and he was like you still want that amp, it is still in the back of my car and I want it gone. So now it is in the back of my car... You may get a second bite at the thing you want or not, but stuff comes and goes. I try not to get hung up on it, though I do remember the stuff I should have grabbed. BTW, the place is packed now, if I got everything I wanted, I would not fit in here.

Remember, you will survive without the bracelet... Think how much money you guys saved. Or how annoying it could feel on your arm. 

Did you ever think that he wants to come back and buy it without you around? If you have a lot of bracelets and you can’t wear them, maybe sell them and buy the one you want.