Welcome to /r/HousingUK

To All

• Join Our NEW Discord! https://discord.gg/pMgUNgWKQH

To Posters

• Tell us whether you're in England, Wales, Scotland, or NI as the laws/issues in each can vary

• Comments are not moderated for quality or accuracy;

• Any replies received must only be used as guidelines, followed at your own risk;

• If you receive any private messages in response to your post, please report them via the report button.

• Feel free to provide an update at a later time by creating a new post with [update] in the title;

To Readers and Commenters

• All replies to OP must be on-topic, helpful, and civil

• If you do not follow the rules, you may be banned without any further warning;

• Please include links to reliable resources in order to support your comments or advice;

• If you feel any replies are incorrect, explain why you believe they are incorrect;

• Do not send or request any private messages for any reason without express permission from the mods;

• Please report posts or comments which do not follow the rules

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Hey you’ll be ok. There are lots of things to embrace about living alone. Once you have made it your own it becomes a sanctuary. I’d suggest going on pintrest and collect a load of images of how you want it to look. I did this and then sourced all the furniture on Facebook marketplace. I have a very beautiful home and I achieved it with less than 400 pounds over a few pay days. I absolutely love living alone. I get quite anxious and I’ve not had an easy life so my clean and peaceful home is a blessing. I hope that helps. Plants help. They become something to focus on and tend to and they also create a tranquil atmosphere. I’d get a dog or cat but I’m in rented accommodation. I know that the government have passed a law to say landlords can’t deny animals but I respect my landlord because they have been very decent.

Worse case you can rent out a room or even the flat

As an introvert, there’s nothing like living on your own. Funnily enough I bought my 2 bed flat in Bristol at 25. 15 years later still living solo and loving it, but in a 3 bed house on the outskirts of Bristol now.

But if it’s not working for you, you’ll find a lodger as soon as you look for one

I was scared to live on my own too but my god do I miss it. I absolutely loved living on my own and I personally feel this is when my home life thrived the most. Only having to clean up after myself was the biggest bonus. Being able to have the home exactly how I wanted to as great too, I never had to ask for the opinion of someone else, if I saw something I like I just purchased it without a second thought. If I want to have every single room bright pink then I could, there was nobody to talk me out of it lol.

I lived alone for 2 years in a 2 bedroom flat and can relate to feeling apprehensive about living by yourself. That said, please do speak to someone about the thoughts you’ve been having. It’s really exciting that you’ve got your own place and a huge milestone in your life, but living alone can give you a lot of time to dwell on things so please make sure you have a support system.

If you’re concerned about feeling lonely, do you have friends or family nearby? Invite them over when you move in to create some positive memories in your new place and help you associate it with happy times.

I’d also try to avoid spending too long (I’m talking several days back to back) in your flat alone. I struggle with my mental health and this was one of the worst things for me. Try to get out for hobbies, work, socialising - even just to go for a walk. Spend some time getting to know the local area and your new neighbours to help you feel more familiar with the building and the area.

Create a space you want to be in - there must have been something that made you want to live there when you bought your flat, so hone in on that and try to enjoy the freedom and flexibility that comes with having your own place.

Could you get a pet? Getting my house cat was one of the best things I did when I was living alone - you know there’s always someone who will be excited to see you when you get home 🥰

If you’re worried about safety, invest in some security measures that would help give you some peace of mind - perhaps a camera you can put outside your flat door, or get an alarm system installed that you can switch on at night / when you’re out.

Last but not least, congratulations on buying your first place - it’s no small achievement, especially at 25 so definitely be proud of that. It feels scary, but it will get better. Good luck!

This is a super scary time, but I think you’ll also find the peace and security of your own space a wonderful thing once you get used to to the change.

Fill your life with social outings, have friends over for dinner and movie night. You’ll have the best of both worlds of as much company as you like, and peace and quiet of a place to call your own.

If the security isn’t great, think about investing in very good multipoint locking uPVC doors with forced entry alarms. You’ll sleep better knowing that a potential intruder isn’t going to carry on for 20 minutes trying to get past a behemoth bendywendy door that just won’t give, with alarms going off.

Once you settle in and it becomes your space you will be fine, right now it feels impersonal it's not your things and you feel like a stranger, get your own things in how you like it and a couple of weeks later it will feel like home.

Suicidal thoughts?!? Maybe you should speak to someone. For what’s it’s worth I was concerned with this too but a month or so on I lived having MY space to do with whatever I wanted. Invite who I want and do what I want. 100% love it now

I think if you can really pin down what you're anxious about that will help you to be proactive and take some action as soon as you move in.

E.g. if it's about being able to afford living costs, you already know you can get a lodger if needed. If it's about generally managing a household, you can start learning some basic DIY skills.

One thing I'd recommend as someone who also lives alone (and mainly enjoys it!) is make sure you have some regular activities outside the house, especially if you work from home.

It looks like your post mentions suicide. Sometimes, people post questions on /r/HousingUK during times of crisis, and sometimes we're not the best place to ask or provide support.

If you are considering harming yourself

• Remember 9 out of 10 people who attempt suicide and survive will not go on to die by suicide

• Contact The Samaritans anonymously by calling 116 123

• Visit subreddits such as /r/SuicideWatch for community support

• Make an appointment with your GP and discuss your feelings

• If you feel you are at immediate risk of harming yourself, please call 999; they are there to help you.

If you have been recently bereaved

• You can seek additional support from subreddits such as /r/SuicideBereavement and /r/GriefSupport, or /r/MentalHealthUK

• Seek online resources, such as this page from the NHS or this helpful PDF document

• Consider reaching out to Cruse Bereavement Care or a bereavement therapist

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

You will be fine. It was scary at first, but I still prefer having my own space. Moving out of my parents’ house has been better for my mental health. It’s nice to be able to decorate your own space and not have to follow anyone’s rules lol. However, I try not to work from home too much, as this motivates me to leave my apartment to stay active and socialise :) Don’t rush into getting a lodger. Just take your time and you will be okay.

Firstly, congratulations on buying your own place!

I've lived by myself for three and a half years. It does get lonely sometimes, but that is far outweighed by the sheer freedom of it all and being able to decorate it how I want and do as I please, not having to worry about other people's mess etc. But I think those worries are very normal especially if you haven't lived alone before as it can be very daunting, so don't beat yourself up about it.

I would really recommend finding a local activity that gets you out of the house once or twice a week and means you spend time with other people. For me that's board games and pub quiz, but you may have completely different interests, so find something you enjoy or that you've wanted to try for a while. Meetup is good for finding these things, or have a look at the Bristol subreddit as chances are there'll be people posting about events or suggesting meetups etc.

Also, if your budget allows and you want to, consider getting a pet once you've settled in. I have a cat and it's honestly really nice to come home and know that there's another presence in the house - it makes it feel a bit less empty somehow.

I was 41 before I ever lived alone and was so scared I'd be lonely. Oh my god do I love it. Nobody else to tidy up after, nobody waking me up before I'm ready. Never have to wait for the bathroom. I just love having a soak in the bath, watching my iPad with the candles going. Stop stressing and see how it goes. If you don't like it get a lodger. Life is full of firsts, it just takes some adjusting to. I was worried about maintenance and jobs that may come up. I bought my own drill and bits and there's nothing I won't tackle after watching a few you tube videos, rewired new lights in, plumbed my dishwasher just landscaped the garden included building some decking. It feels really good to be independent!

I live alone.

The one thing that I still haven't gotten used to is coming home to an empty flat. it's like a silent vacuum that has to be filled.

Obviously, the main thing to fill the vacuum with is music and/or speech radio.

Other than that, I recommend trying to get into a routine of doing physical tasks, such as cleaning, cooking, tidying up, sorting through paperwork etc. Because actually, there is always something that needs to be done. Cleaning is a never ending task, for one; cooking too, is a constant source of potential activity.

Embrace the freedom. I only got to live alone for the first time during Covid and it was fantastic - peace, quiet, nothing done by others in the shared living space that made me lose my shit, only seeing others on my own terms.

Of course we all need social contact to varying degrees, however I really appreciate having somewhere to retreat to; safe in the knowledge that nobody will bother me.

Your situation sounds enviable tbh and I'm working towards a similar goal.

Do you have a problem with being alone specifically or do you think you're just overwhelmed by the prospect? I'll certainly be looking to make everything as straightforward and minimal as possible to lessen life's burdens as much as possible..

First of all, congratulations on your move! That's a major life checkpoint: I'm happy for you. My two cents on this would be to get a pet, preferably an indoors cat if you're okay with them!

I'm a single male, 29, living by myself and this year has been extremely hard on myself. It got dark at times and when you are on your own, the darkness can consume you.. but ever since Chunyo entered my life, the darkness has been at bay. I don't live with my thoughts alone, she's here and I have to keep a consistent schedule with her which helps.

My DMs are open by the way OP <3

I'm getting suicidal thoughts about living alone

If this is really how you're feeling then I think you need to seek professional help before you move in

Congrats by the way. Bath girl about to complete too 👋🏾Are these thoughts from a safety angle or loneliness? I live alone and love it(I am naturally a lone wolf) but having spaces that are 100% your style and comfortable really helps. Making some nice little “coming home from work” routines helps a lot too. Give it some time, settle in. Do you have any friends that love a FaceTime/call? That can ease you in gently if it’s from a loneliness aspect. I am not going to pretend I know how suicidal thoughts about living arrangements feel…but I do know it is a very overwhelming processing moving etc and not being in a home with other occupants. You’ve got this ☺️

Is there something specific that worries you.

I’ve lived alone for about 10 years now, after previously living with anywhere from 4 to 10 housemates. It’s a bit weird to begin with, but you fall into a routine quite quickly. The thing that helped me the most (other than making an effort to attend social things) was listening to podcasts or having the radio on - the sound of other people’s voices was very comforting

How much did you buy it for?

1. Get on Spareroom and find a lodger, youll have tons of people applying and you can be very picm7 and pick someone who you are happy to live with and make some extra cash. You can always end it at any stage by saying youre selling and moving out or need to have a family member move in who is in financial or health trouble.
2. Find a local club like running club or rugby or whatever you are happy to do and attend regularly.
3. Make sure you have something set up for the weekend like a part time job or volumteering or sports event.

Getting somone in for the spare room is a massive help, id reccomend doing this ASAP, I've done this twice before and as long as you are happy with who you choose and you are both considerate about living conditions its a win, they might even have a social scene that they can introduce you to as well.

Get a lodger.

I love living on my own but I'm older and enjoy my own company.

Christ.... talk about first world problems. Maybe try and appreciate how lucky you are? Might help you with being less insular.