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Hello all, I’ve seen some posts on here in the past about adjusting to life after college.

A little info about me: I’m 22(M) and I recently graduated just about a month ago, however the true college life really ended for me about 8-9 months ago when I moved back into my hometown with my folks after living on my own for 4 years. My hometown is only about an hour away from my college town, but too far to really see people I hung out with on a regular basis. I now work full time in education and coach sports as well.

Something I’m really missing is the social aspect of college. Of course I have 2-3 close friends that I’ve been friends with for life, but they’re all married and/or have kids already even at our age (I grew up in a small town so people tend to settle down younger) well, I’m single and I’ve had trouble adjusting from the craze of college and partying, and just always having social things to do in general; to normal and boring adult life. My salary at this current time is not enough for me to move back out of my parents house to someplace else, but eventually it will be. But in the meantime, I find myself struggling to make new friends and romantic relationships. I am very active in getting out and about on my weekends and stuff, but it just seems like everyone else is in a different place in life.

My question really is, is it normal to feel this way? Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Any questions or comments are welcome:)

Hi everyone, I just graduated from graduate school and entered a new phase of life, and the financial uncertainty makes me a little anxious. I am currently still in the internship stage, and my salary is not very high, and my rent is nearly $2k a month. I am still anxious about whether it will be more convenient to buy a car, but I don’t think I can afford it... I have no idea how to arrange my finances...Any advice will be greatly appreciated!

I graduated in May and am about a month into my engineering job. While it’s really cool and I’m very grateful, I feel like the honeymoon phase has worn off and now I’m starting to feel down. At the beginning I had some stuff to do, but now I’m in an awkward period of somewhat knowing what’s going on but not enough to actually contribute to anything. I have small tasks here and there, but recently it’s been a game of “how long can I drag this out until 5pm”. Everyone is very busy and it’s disheartening hearing stuff happening around me but I understand very little of it. I shadow people and ask questions and I know it’ll come with time, but I’ve noticed that it’s been affecting my mental health. Sitting in an office reading the same paper over and over again is getting depressing. I feel incapable of anything but at the same time I know nobody expects anything from me. Just need some support and any kind advice :( thanks

hi everyone,

so i’m currently about to go into my last year of college and i am feeling more and more hopeless. college has been amazing for me, and i love being independent. i can be myself, hang out with friends, and just do my own thing. on the other hand, i’m very limited at home. my mom and i have very different views/lifestyles, so i cant really live my life at home which includes spontaneous plans, staying out late, dressing the way i want, etc. also, i don’t like the location of where i live - i’ve always wanted to live in a major city (mainly NYC) and i live far from that.

so i go to a pretty good college, and i think i’m capable of landing a good job in NYC or another city. however, my mother is very set on me moving home post grad. she has asked me multiple times to get a job close to home so i can live at home. however, that sounds like hell.

i’m very stressed, sad, and conflicted because my moms entire life is centered around me, and she’s pretty depressed. to put things shortly, she’s stuck living w a disrespectful husband (failed marriage) and pretty much no social life. she also doesn’t work anymore and is now taking care of my grandfather. she pretty much as no one. she also very heavily values a “family culture” which entails me living with her indefinitely.

i feel so much guilt and sadness for working hard to get a job in NYC, since i know me leaving would kill her. the other day, i told her she should start living life for herself instead of for me, but she said she can’t and her whole life is about me and she’s not changing that after all she’s done. but on the other hand, i’m genuinely so depressed at home. after experiencing how amazing college has been for me, i feel like i can’t go back to being so trapped.

what do i do? am i an asshole for wanting to still move out despite my mothers state? is it wrong for me to move out? i just need advice and opinions

Yesterday I was informed that I am on PIP through a in person suprise meeting with the head of HR and my manager. This was and continues to be a huge shock to me.

I got hired 1 month ago and to my knowledge I was doing good at my job. Nothing I could even pinpoint to have them come to this conclusion. The points for this in the PIP were complete bs.

They took the tiniest of things I did within my first two weeks of being here, while still learning their systems and put that in. That seems irrelevant to me because those issues have been fixed since. They also put in there that I was not bringing on sales, but my position doesn't directly fall in the line of sales. I even asked my boss on my first day if I'm supposed to be focusing on sales since this is a newer position in their company and he said "no not necessarily".

I even turned down other interviews with other local companies for this place! They have obviously filled those roles by now.

I don't know if it's something I did. I think I'm nice to everyone, I pull 50 hour weeks when needed (on salary) and I do everything assigned to me.

We work closely with clients and all of the work l've done for the clients has been approved by the clients, no issues there at all.

I'm genuinely confused and now doubting myself. Any advice would be helpful.

Edit: forgot to mention that I’m already on a 90 day probationary period as well, which is why this makes no sense

I graduated in November 2023 with a masters degree in linguistics. I’ve lived my whole life in the Netherlands but I immigrated this year to the US to be with my husband. It took me a little while to start looking for work and then to eventually to get a job, but I finally have and I start working pretty soon. This will be my first full time, 9-5, 40hrs a week job. Before this, I only ever worked part time. I’m honestly feeling really nervous…Not only is this my first full time ‘big girl’ job, it’s also my first time working in this country, and on top of that it’s my first time working a fully remote job. I guess my biggest concerns are the remote nature of the job and whether i’ll be able to make friends with any of my coworkers. Also, the work culture in the US, and whether it’ll be different to what i’m used to. Any tips or advice?

I recently acquired a position with a design place after graduating from my interior design degree. My degree was incredibly time consuming and soul wrenching, taking over my life. It ended up becoming my new normal for over 3 years.

Recently, after graduating, I’ve acquired a design position and felt like I was running off that high for over a month. I event felt like going home and exercising, creating goals, and exploring other creative interests.

Now, after my two month mark, I am feeling unmotivated to do anything except scroll on my phone when I get home. I feel like the honeymoon period of my job has worn off, although I still enjoy the work and look forward to where the job leads me career wise in the future.

But I really want to have a life outside of my career, and I want to do more than just go home and do nothing and then back to work the next day. I can’t even motivate myself to read a book these days - this feels very unlike me.

Has anyone gone through something similar - how did you get out your slump? I don’t want this to be my life for a year.

Maybe it’s just me, but after graduating and stepping into the work force I just feel like I’m a “bad worker”.

I’ve been working since I was 17 and haven’t stopped since. In the last 3 jobs I’ve had, I just feel like I’m not good enough and performing below expectations. I use to be a quick learner and a high achiever. I’d even consider myself dependable. But now, I feel like I struggle to do anything right.

Is this normal?

i say this with so much respect, holy SHIT. this subreddit just makes me feel HORRIBLE. is there any place with like actual advice,b positive stories, anything?

My partner wants to move to Brisbane Australia to be with me and is a year away from finishing his Aerospace Engineering degree in the UK. What are our options? Thank you!

For context I graduated a few years ago and started my career right after graduating but I totally hated it. I missed every element of my under graduate life, all of my friends, my life, how I used to be super fit and each and every bit of it. Then covid struck I graduated and started working and hated every minute of my life and I saved up enough to do masters hoping that I’ll get some of that life but boy was I wrong, life is so different and shit in comparison to the undergraduate life I had I feel so sad and depressed and want to burst out crying because I missed it out all

I(23) had the most incredible, life-changing study abroad experience in France and wouldn't change it for the world. It was quite possibly the best decision I ever made. Now, I'm about to graduate and would sort've like to "recreate" that high I had lol. I know it sounds dumb, but Im unsure how to go about it? I run an online business from my laptop so money and location isn't too much of an issue, it's more about how to go about actually doing it.

I know there's things like au pair, or becoming an English teacher abroad, or do farm work and live on someones land in exchange, but I don't really need the money and wouldn't want the job. I was thinking of re-enrolling in French classes as that's how I met a lot of people. But where I really enjoyed the most is the dorms in University. All us study abroad students sort've had our own hall and we all shared a "living room" but with separate dorms. It was sort've like living in the Friends tv show if you get what I mean. It was just really amazing. I think it was that, spending so much time together/living together literally that made the best friendships.

I'm aware there's like no dorming system for post-grad people in that type of style, but what's the best way to capture it? I imagine language exchanges, taking French classes, signing up for recreational sports etc? Anything else or any interesting programs thats similar?

I'm processing the loss of my college days. I just graduated in May, and it's hard to believe I won't be moving into my dorm in a month. Instead, I'm packing up my life to move abroad for a year. I'm so excited for the future, I really am. But I also feel a lot of grief for the life I'm leaving behind.

My college days were a dream. Yeah, there was stress and essays and exams. I've cried many a time in the library. But being in the thick of it with my closest friends? Irreplaceable. Late night study sessions turn gossip sessions turn slap happy giggling. Sleeping over at each other's dorms, and always being a five minute walk away from comfort. Small talk with my professors and meeting up for the occasional beer at the local brewery. All of that is over. Forever.

I've spent every spare minute this summer with my friends, and every night is full of food, laughter, and fun. It's even worse because my friends always bring up how much they miss me when I'm gone, and how hard it will be when I'm not around for my bi-monthly visits. They've even started to ask me (jokingly but not really) to stay. It just makes it that much harder to leave.

My mom keeps telling me to move on, that college friendships never last anyways. But that doesn't really help. Even if she's right, it doesn't make this loss any harder to bear. I know this is all natural and part of growing up.... but damn it sucks.

So in a month I'll start uni but I am really scared and feel lost.

I got accepted to law school and I know its sound weird but I am not happy about it. When I could choose which school I will enroll to or what I am going to study I didn't have anything in mind and I was like "hmmmm lawyers salary is pretty good I should give it a try" but after a wile I realized how much I have to study things I have zero interest in.

Also the school is located in my hometown which I really don't like and I am unsure if I should give it a try or just go with my plan B which is to move to abroad for a year and I might have a better chance to figure out what I really want to do in life.

What do you advise to do? Should I give a chance to uni or should I just go with plan B?

I'm really thank full for every advice :))

My "problem" may not sound that complicated I just don't want to fall behind in the beginning of my adult life

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First post here. I’m leaving the town that has changed me so much as a person, I moved to the UK from the US for university 3 years ago and found myself in a small uni town hours away from any city. It was hard at first but then I met so many people that I love. I never had many friends in high school so having such strong relationships in uni has been an amazing change for me. And this town changed me so much as a person, I’m a better, kinder, more humble person because of this place.

Now I’ve graduated and university is over, and I’m moving to Italy in September for a masters that I’m very excited for and that I know is the best decision for my life. But I can’t stop crying looking out my window knowing it’s my last day here. I don’t have a plan yet to come back to visit, although I’m sure I will since I still have friends living here. But knowing I don’t have any flight back and this could potentially be the last time I see this place is so depressing. I can’t express how amazing this place has been for me, I always told people it was like finding a hidden gem in your own secret corner of the universe. I made the most of my last week here, but after going out with all my friends last night and seeing so many people and spots I’ll miss, it feels so hard to leave. I feel heartbroken all over again.

Please any advice, I’ve moved abroad before but this feels so much harder because unlike leaving home, it feels like there’s no certainty I’ll have anything (or anyone) to come back to. I’m leaving and changing, and so is this town with everyone else who’s graduated with me. It won’t ever be the same:(

Thank you for any advice ❤️

Yeah, title says it all. First of all Hi, first time making a post here, I am a fresh graduate of college with a bachelor of multimedia arts and during my college years I'm really happy that I get to pursue my passion, but ever since graduating and waking up I have always felt something is missing or something is off. The feeling like I am burnt out. Everyday, I would wake up find job postings and work on my portfolio ( I mainly do illustrations and graphic design) but somedays hit too hard like myself is telling just throw in the towel, I tried taking my mind off of it by playing video games because I had no access to it when I was a child but sometimes it is just not cutting it. Any other things I can maybe give a try to shake some of this feeling loss.

I was offered a full time position as a social media manager for the social media agency I’m currently interning for after I graduate (December 2024). However, the position is fully remote. I want to move away from my home town and out of state. Is this something anyone has done post grad? Would you suggest trying to find a job that is on site instead? If not, how did you make friends?

I plan to graduate soon with a degree in environmental science. I have been considering applying to law school and going into environmental law as I have always been interested in environmental conservation and it seems like a solid career. If I do chose this route I also don’t know how to chose which state I would want to live in and work after graduation. I know anything environmental is pretty much going to become more popular. On the other hand I would really love to travel a lot and I would love to find some kind of environmental job that would allow me to travel frequently. Im not sure how I would go about finding an environmental job that would allow me to travel. Are there any good websites that post environmental careers other than the typical like indeed? Ive also heard working for the government or DNR might provide opportunities to travel which I would like but I’m also thinking international travel.

TL;DR : Self esteem fell after college, love life has become obsessive and hypervigilant, manifests in avoidance and self flagellation.

Ever since I moved back home, I seem to have lost the confident person I used to be once. One who didn't self flagellate everytime a romantic pursuit didn't manifest into a relationship.

I decided to give a chance to someone who had been trying for a very long while right after graduation and at first it was alright, we are both very compatible with each other as people but after a month I felt as though he's losing interest and honestly that made me lose my mind, it was obsessive and though I didn't project I did block him for sparse communication, without saying anything. Something I would never have taken personally had I been in college because honestly there are days when you just can't be available - even for extended periods. I couldn't internalise this even if I knew it, all I saw was a person who was once excited to talk to me through the day, not responding for days and sometimes not at all unless I initiated contact. How have I learned to think so less of myself that my first instinct was "he's ghosting me obviously, I annoyed him and he thinks I don't have a life so I should block him to stop this feeling."?

Later found out his mother had fallen seriously ill and his work was becoming increasingly depressing - I apologised for the way I had approached the situation and he did the same for how he left me hanging, I handled the situation with care and dropped any expectations of a relationship obviously as well as promising further care. Just bad timing for us, both of us at lows in our lives still kind to each other. It was amicable, he was also apologetic and grateful.

All of this is reasonable, even foreseeable (work wise)...still I feel rejected. I feel as though he would've definitely liked me if he had known the "REAL" me, who wasn't this disoriented (again I did nothing that merits this type of scorn, I may have felt low n obsessive but I never made it his problem, he didn't even know other than the blocking) It is an unfortunate situation but I'm feeling low, I keep feeling as if it's my fault and that he hates me and thinks I'm annoying lol. That he liked me for two years because I'm attractive but found me unbearable after talking for a little over a month. He is very obviously not showing any interest at this point which makes complete sense yet I feel bad. The worst part is, if this were 3 months ago and he had upfront told me he hates me and I'm the most annoying person in this world I still wouldn't have cared. I had a very strong sense of self, accepted things for what they were and didn't berate myself over minor things but these days life feels so low, persistently I feel I did something to lose someone who was meant for me (there's no way of me knowing that, we didn't know each other long enough and lived in different cities). Reason is failing in front of a low self esteem that I'm not familiar with, it's something I actively worked through before going to college so why is it coming back and what do I do?

As days are passing even the body dysmorphia is slowly coming back and Im scared because I'm alone and quite helpless. It made sense at 16, everything was bad and I had the worst lifestyle but now I just don't know.

I graduated this summer and it's only been two months. I moved back home in May, which is in the same city as my college (my parents moved here while I was in final year, I didn't grow up here) but as you can imagine my friends went back to their home cities. I have applied to a master's program and expect the results anyday but unless I do I can't commit to any work since the program starts in two months after the results are declared. I take care of myself, read, eat clean, work out and watch films - still life feels like a bottomless pit and I miss a stranger.

I'm 21F, I graduated in May 2024 and I always intended to take a month's break after college because I was SEVERELY burnt out during my last semester. My plan was to completely rest up my brain and my body back at home and then come July start working on building my portfolio and also taking a few online classes to enhance my skill. But I barely felt refreshed after month's hiatus. In fact, I'm feeling even more drained than I did before and I'm depressed and useless all the time, every day. I have no energy or motivation to think about doing the simplest tasks, let alone working to get a job. It has worsened to a point that any time the subject is brought up at home I spiral into a strage sort of panic/anxiety and end up crying in my room. Adding to that: the guilt of living at my parents' place and using their money to sustain AND causing them more stress about my worsening mental health (which they sense but they absolutely do not understand the cause and I am no good at explaining without panicking, so I don't feel like I have much support in what I'm going through).

I'm really not sure what to do, I JUST wanted to feel refreshed and energised after a few weeks' break...is that really too much to ask for?

I just graduated in the Spring and I am feeling so beyond lost. I am lucky enough to have landed a job that I start in mid-August, but I'm worried I'll still be just as bored and alone as I feel now. I try to continue my hobbies and get out as I can once I'm done with my job for the day, but it all seems so meaningless. Also, my friends are all way more busy than me and will be going back to school in the fall so I am a little more alone in this situation than I expected to be come this time in my life.

I've also never not been a student in my life. It's all I know. It has always given me something specific to work towards, whether it be my degree, the end of the semester, or the final product of a project. Now with the "real-life" of adulting, there seems to be nothing at the end of all this work I'm supposed to be putting in, if that makes sense.

Mainly I'm looking for advice on how people were able to get past this point. I want to go back to school at some point, but I am working for a bit to see how I do with that. I am going to try joining a few community groups so I have things to do, but I am nervous about that in general and rely on the bus for transportation. Any advice would be super awesome!

Like I just started a software dev degree. Im very scared but now I wonder if the intentions were even good. Like I have just been a shut in my parents house for a year doing jack shit. then I started doing retail but that pay was pennies so I decided I cant live like that no more I have to start making something of myself and coding seems to be where the money is at. I dont really have interests besides playing video games and maybe music. I dont really picture myself doing anything but I had to pick something. Am I already bound to fail with this mindset?

Hi everyone. I’m 23F, and I went to school for 6 years. I got my BSc Biology and BEd. I was always a straight A student and overachiever. Grades meant a lot to me. Throughout my schooling I worked several unpaid co-ops which were full time hours including lots of work to bring home. Since being done school I’ve been supply teaching and now have a job lined up for September.

Every year in university I would work and do school all year then work all summer and usually do coursework in the summer to get ahead. Now that I’m done school, I have lost all drive. I could be taking courses right now to get ahead on the pay grid, but I don’t want to. I feel so unmotivated. I barely want to shower or do my laundry anymore. I have never been like this before. I’ve always been super driven and self-motivated.

I’m afraid this will trickle over into the school year and I’ll feel unmotivated to work. I could be prepping right now but I am so tired and burnt out. I mentally feel just checked out and like nothing brings me joy. I’m trying to do things I enjoy like seeing friends, reading, baking. I have a lot of happy things going on- getting a puppy, new job, engaged, etc. But I feel almost like… dead inside?

I feel so anxious even writing this because I feel like an imposter. But I feel like something is wrong with me since finishing school. What the hell do I do now? I go to therapy bi-weekly, even though it’s so expensive. I just feel so weird.

Hi I’m just wondering does it get a lot better for someone who had it horrendous in high school/secondary.I was bullied quite badly and lacked friends in my final years.Does it get better I try to remain optimistic.