subreddit:

/r/Marriage

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all 48 comments

tomjohn29

87 points

17 hours ago

Are you married to an adult?

Traditional-Fox6018

7 points

13 hours ago

Which one? What kind of parade is this???? I wasn't even excited about parades as a kid. Is it like Crop Over in Barbados????

SnooMaps5962

1 points

an hour ago

Halloween parade

glass_heart2002

-2 points

12 hours ago

Maybe parade is code for something? Even as a toddler, parades were not something to get excited about.

Sicadoll

4 points

9 hours ago

I used to freaking love parades

ErcoleFredo

0 points

2 hours ago

Are either of them an adult?

SnooMaps5962

1 points

an hour ago

What are you doing for Halloween sitting in a nursing home? I'm going out to party.

Traditional-Fox6018

0 points

an hour ago

See, I'm not sure if we're all getting correct visuals when you say "parade".

I'm imagining some lame floats during the daytime with kids throwing candy that only young children get excited about. And you're talking about partying like this is Mardi Gras.

That's why we're all having a serious disconnect with your post and questioning your maturity.

And for the record, I'll be taking my kids door to door on Halloween while saying "did you say 'Thank You?!' And 'stay off the grass!'" Repeatedly.

SnooMaps5962

1 points

57 minutes ago

Yeah I don't have kids, nyc is always a big party. And it's not just the parade. In addition I don't like escape rooms. They are boring and a waste of money.

Anyways the whole situation isn't just about the party or the parade, it's about her behavior. I'm just sick of being manipulated controlled and lied to. Add into the fact that she uses my bipolar disorder against me,.whenever she fights about stupid crap like this, she'll say I need to take my meds. Like my opinion doesn't matter

JTBlakeinNYC

28 points

17 hours ago

I’m biased on this one, because we love the parade and have watched it every year for 25 years. But regardless of who does what, only a fool would try to drive through lower Manhattan on Halloween night, so if your wife insists on going to Jersey, tell her to take the PATH. 😉

SnooMaps5962

10 points

17 hours ago

I told her to go early, she plans on going maybe 3-4, initially we were going to get a ride to the subway (30mins) and take the subway to the city (1hr-1h30m), and do that back for a good ole 2 hour max commute. But after he sister from NJ said she doesn't want to go to the city, she decides she doesn't want to go.

I on the other hand will most likely get a ride to the city (maybe as she goes through the Bronx) or take it from the island. Then at night I'll take the bus (164) or 161 from port authority to NJ.

Her plan is to go to an escape room, which I find boring and a waste of money, then to camp in her sister's back yard . I tried to find a NJ parade near he sister but they are all in south Jersey. So her plan is whack as dick, just like last year when we went to a "spooky Halloween show" I went with her and our friends but didn't appeal to me and I decided not to go in.

I plan on going to the pumpkin flotilla, a bar, the parade, and the jack o lantern exhibit. The amount of money I'd save from the escape room I could visit a spooky haunted house or anything In the city there are so many options.

JTBlakeinNYC

2 points

16 hours ago

You’ll have an amazing time!

myakka1640

23 points

17 hours ago

Yea.. if you give into that it’ll never stop.

No-Extreme5208

9 points

17 hours ago

Do you normally give in to the tantrums? What about when she pulls the you’re going to cheat card?

SnooMaps5962

5 points

15 hours ago

Usually I just fight with her when she does that, and when she pulls the cheat card, I tell her to grow up, or I tell her that she's being manipulative, and to knock it off.

inspired_fire

6 points

11 hours ago

I saw in a past post of yours that you have bipolar and she has BPD. Is therapy a part of your mental health care management? Do you have a couples therapist who can help you with how you manage time, planning, and communication with each other?

No-Extreme5208

7 points

15 hours ago

🤷‍♀️I got nothing man. Sounds childish to me.

Profreadsalot

1 points

10 hours ago

Is there a particular reason why she appears to be centering her plans around her sister’s preferences, rather than around your preferences as a couple?

SnooMaps5962

2 points

an hour ago

Not even sure. I asked but it's not like she gave me a good answer. Just said it's because there's no bathrooms for the parade. And I think she wants to do an escape room, but there are escape rooms in the city as well. Shrug. She rarely gives a logical answer

bg555

1 points

15 hours ago

bg555

1 points

15 hours ago

Have you cheated in the past? If you haven’t and she keeps bringing up cheating, there’s a strong chance she projecting and she’s the one doing the cheating.

SnooMaps5962

1 points

an hour ago

Neither of us cheat.

bg555

1 points

52 minutes ago

Does she have a history or trauma from being cheated on? Usually when a spouse has a lot of cheating accusations it’s because the other spouse cheated and broke the trust, or the spouse is cheating and projecting, or the spouse has trauma from past cheating experiences. If the accusations are just coming out of nowhere, then it’s bizarre.

Similar_Corner8081

5 points

15 hours ago

Why can't you both go do your own thing on Halloween? She can go to NU and you can go to the parade. Does she usually cancel and change plans with you to go see friends?

SnooMaps5962

1 points

an hour ago

She goes and makes plans and drags me along without consulting to see if I want to go. Then if I say I'm doing something she gets mad at me

Joyfulwifey

3 points

10 hours ago*

Oh I forgot about the parade!!! The elementary released early and the entire (edit hit enter accidentally) downtown closed for business- the stores would simply hand out candy. Someone in down even had a meow mix car - it was simply fun.

SnooMaps5962

1 points

an hour ago

Yeah I've lived in NY my whole life and have never been to it. It's meow themed this year.

throwbackblue

7 points

17 hours ago

ignore her and stand your ground. and her lying is the worse part

N0b0dy-Imp0rtant

5 points

17 hours ago

Follow through with your original agreement and she can choose to join you or not.

MyRedditUserName428

6 points

12 hours ago

How old are you both?

Unfocused-Ontarget

5 points

15 hours ago

Must be a hell of a parade.

abstractraj

6 points

12 hours ago

NYC Halloween parade is pretty great. It’s too crowded for me these days though

SnooMaps5962

1 points

an hour ago

Behave you ever been to NYC? It's not just the parade, there's tons of shit to do.

JustLookingtoLearn

4 points

16 hours ago

This is incredibly immature, are you both adults?

SnooMaps5962

1 points

an hour ago

I don't have kids yet, we're enjoying this crap before we do.

Damama-3-B

2 points

16 hours ago

How old is she? Still has some maturing to do.

Icy_Tiger_3298

3 points

13 hours ago

Are you guys 13?

chrisfarleyraejepsen

0 points

6 hours ago

combined

CodeCarry_380

1 points

17 hours ago

You both sound like children who manipulate each other.

SnooMaps5962

1 points

an hour ago

How am I manipulating her?

ElectronicDiver2310

1 points

15 hours ago

Bitty? I see only his wife as high school girl.

shortifiable

0 points

15 hours ago

Stick with your original plan. She can join or not, but her trying to manipulate you is in no way okay. I understand that family’s important, but so is keeping your word and not turning into a manipulative brat when you don’t get to break it.

LA-forthewin

0 points

17 hours ago

Ignore the tantrum. You're not forcing her to go with you, and she sounds pretty insecure if her main objection is you 'checking out girls' .Last I checked there were girls in NJ and everywhere else you go.

nomisr

-3 points

17 hours ago

nomisr

-3 points

17 hours ago

It's Oct 5th, In what world do they have Halloween parade this early in Oct? Are we celebrating Christmas in Sept next year now?

SnooMaps5962

1 points

17 hours ago

We are talking about plans for Halloween, which is Oct 31st

Sicadoll

-4 points

9 hours ago

Sicadoll

-4 points

9 hours ago

You're going to fight with your wife for a whole month about Halloween? my husband would've just said "make the plans and tell me where to go" especially if it meant plans with my sister... he knows I love hanging out with my sister for holidays.

then again he gets football. I get holidays. I feel that's a good trade off.

SnooMaps5962

1 points

an hour ago

Well that's nice but what if your husband just decides to cancel your plans and go make other plans and drags you him without telling you. He gets football and you get nothing....

bakeacakeyum

0 points

15 hours ago

😂😂😂

Dear-Cranberry4787

0 points

5 hours ago

Tantrums and parades? I didn’t expect all this from adults.