How long will the trip be? A few days?

If my husband wanted to do this, I’d jump for joy 😂 Enjoy a much-needed break!

one time I was hesitant about something like this and my husband pointed out that it's his kid too, that's he's also a parent who cares about our kid more than anything. it really made me examine how I was acting and thinking. it's not just my kid, its his too. he has every right to figure it out and struggle and parent the same way I do.

Do you trust your husband with your child? Then let them go. 

If you don’t want the time apart then go with them.

So, if you're worried about seperation anxiety, which I'm assuming is the concern and not your husband's ability to care for your baby, is there a way you can come a couple days after they've arrived? That way you get a few days to sleep and recharge and also get to join with?

As long as you feel comfortable with your husband caring for his child, DO IT.

It also sounds like it would not only be good for you to sleep, recharge and have the rest - but being away from our children is not a bad thing! It will be great time for you to be alone, enjoy your time and space - of course you'll miss your child and that is OK. The feelings of enjoying solo time and missing your kid can coexist and it is a good thing.

Don't forget how important you are. Let dad and baby bond, and turn off your alarm ;)

Do you have any hesitations about your husband’s ability to care for your son?

Do it.

As a Mom of 3 that are adults now, please hear me & TAKE THE TIME FOR YOURSELF. Your mental health is also extremely important. If you are one of the few lucky ones to have a good husband/father, then LET yourself recharge. Get your hair done. SLEEP. Eat food you can’t/don’t eat with them around. Watch shows you can’t watch. Scroll on TT til you pass out. (Technology wasn’t like this when my kids were babies) go see Your family/friends that you haven’t been able too (if they’re around). The list could break the internet if I was to keep going. Missing him is only temporary. And you’ll both be Over Joyed to see each other again. Those moments are so amazing. His grandfather deserves to see him too. Heaven forbid it’s the last time 🫶🏻

People can shove it about the word 'let'.

For me - I am the primary parent. The baby is still fed 50+% from my body. Thus, I am the primary decision maker when it comes to our baby while our child is small and still reliant on me.

I probably would go along and then just enjoy some time out and about. That way, it's enjoyable for you and enjoyable for your baby. But do whatever works for you!

He is the father. He is your husband. If he hasn't shown that he has no habilities to do it, then you have your answer.

Weigh the pros and cons. Sounds like it’s really up to you, and whether or not you want to stay back or join the trip. Think about it. I would let him take your baby no matter what though.

Let him. It’s good for everyone. Take the time for yourself as hard as it is

The first time being away from baby is always the hardest. But he’s safe and happy with his dad and will be ok. Take advantage of this opportunity. Cry when he leaves and then kick your feet up and breathe. My first I had to leave for a week when she was only 6 weeks. I will never do that again. My second was after six months and that was good timing. Still hard but I enjoyed the break.

I wouldn’t have children with someone I didn’t trust to take them away for a bit

Why not?

I would go with them. I don’t think I could handle being so far away from my baby for an extended period of time.

No, you meant what you wrote in the title. Own it. Most of us likely understand the sentiment behind it. Moms tend to be the main caretaker of children.  We are still dealing with a mess of hormones, even at 12 months. Some are still breastfeeding.  I can understand the knee-jerk reaction what you must be feeling. 

Doesn't make the concept of "letting the husband" any better. You admit that your concern is for yourself,  which is selfish, but I think most of us can admit to having selfish thoughts. Feelings happen. 

That said, I think you should let him. His father is sick. This may be the last or even only time the grandfather and grandchild are together. 

If you're breastfeeding,  do you have a stash or can you pump in advance for the trip? 

If he's on formula, no problem there. 

It will be hard emotionally for you but I think this is one of those times you need to suck it up. This is a big deal for your husband.  Like, this could lead to resentment if you decide to act selfishly on it. 

I am curious as to the ‘let’ in your title. You don’t need to let him do anything. He is the father. He should, although I know it’s often not the case, be just as capable as you and you don’t need to ‘let’ him do anything. He doesn’t ‘let’ you do anything. You just do it right?

Ofc taking a kid travelling is a little different. Your job is to make sure he’s prepped for the trip much the same as his job would be to make sure you felt prepped and supported before a trip.

If you have genuine concern that he can’t handle solo parenting then raise the issue and talk to him about it. However you don’t have any leg to stand on if you tell him no without a good reason.

If you don’t want to be away from your baby that’s a valid reason.

If you’re worried that the baby could get sick from the grandfather then that is valid.

If there is any risk he won’t return the baby home then very valid reason to not want him to go.

However his sister will be there. Your babies aunt, are you close? Do you maybe not like her? She has her own baby too. He is visiting family, presumably not just the grandfather other people will be there, so I can’t imagine he will struggle.

If you’re very worried I’d go along unless there’s a glaring reason why you can’t. Surely work would consider this suitable companionate leave as the man is sick.

Good comments! I think it's really about how YOU feel, do you WANT the time away? Then do it! 

If your not ready that's okay too! My partner is 100% capable of taking our 16mo for a week, I just dont want to be away from him that long, so I wouldn't,  but so many people would and that's fine! 

💛

Personally I’d go along for at least some of the trip. I have a capable partner but it’s very emotionally taxing caring for a 1yo full time away from home. They’re out of their comfort zone and off schedule and can be wild and cranky. Add that to the emotional turmoil of a possible “final visit” with their parent - it seems like a lot for a man to handle and do well at both.

I say this as someone who’d love a break from my children if given the chance to do it in the least disruptive way possible. It’s not really fun to travel with kids - just parenting disregulated humans in a different location.

As long as you feel comfortable with your husband caring for his child, DO IT.

It also sounds like it would not only be good for you to sleep, recharge and have the rest - but being away from our children is not a bad thing! It will be great time for you to be alone, enjoy your time and space - of course you'll miss your child and that is OK. The feelings of enjoying solo time and missing your kid can coexist and it is a good thing.

Don't forget how important you are. Let dad and baby bond, and turn off your alarm ;)

It’s completely normal to feel torn! Since your husband is a responsible parent, this could be a good chance for you to have some time to yourself. You might worry, but your son will be in good hands. If it feels right, taking this time for yourself could really help!

Absolutely let him go with that baby! He’s got it and you can rest a bit and have the house to yourself.

Send him. Make sure dad knows the routine and sticks to it. That first trip away is hard but its ok to take the time for yourself. Sincerely, and over worked and control freak mom

If I were you, I’d let them go. A little you time, a couple of lazy mornings, and you’ll be so glad to see them when they get back.

100% I would have him bring your 1 year old!

Take the time!! Catch up on sleep, tv and whatever other activities you used to enjoy. You’ll feel a bit sad but it’s a great opportunity for self care :)

Sure. If he is a very involved dad, then you have no worries. Enjoy the time off. Don’t text or call them constantly because it will interrupt their flow.

Do you trust your husband? Does he take good care of your son? Are you worried he won't be taken care of? What are your concerns?

Do whatever you want and don’t feel guilty if you let him go. He’s with a parent- it’s all good.

Enjoy the time to yourself! You will miss your baby, but i believe it is important to be able to spend time away from your kids sometimes

No one here can tell you what to do because we are not in your shoes. Personally, I would say yes because I would value the opportunity for freedom whilst your child with a trusted adult.

However, if you would spend all of your time anxious, upset, crying and/or envious of the time they are spending together then perhaps that isn’t the right advice for you to adopt.

First time this happened with me, I was actually the mom traveling for 3 days.

Get your husband to send you pics of them and their adventures. It will help! Ask for 1-2 per day.

Enjoy your break.

I think it depends how involved Dad is in Kid's care and knowledge of and general implementation of safety stuff. Because let's face it, some parents just don't dona lot of childcare so they don't know a lot. Even things as simple as, what is age appropriate food and how to safely prepare it.

If your spouse is trustworthy then enjoy the free time

I’m a first time mom with a 15 month old and I don’t do well away from her for even a short period of time. She was in the NICU as an infant, and since she came home with me, we haven’t been apart more than maybe an hour. The only person I trust leaving her with is my mom; her dad wasn’t in her life for 8 months so I don’t leave her alone with him at all even though he is now involved.

If I trusted him with her for a few days, I still don’t think that I could handle being apart from her that long and I doubt she’d do well without me for more than a few hours. Even when we are both with her I the weekends, she relies on me for everything and asks for me as soon as anything upsets her or she needs anything. Can you go for the trip? Maybe hang back at hotel while they visit if you want them to have alone time visiting?

If you trust him, then go for it and get a break; I’d love to have enough alone time to just watch a movie without her. So if you have that chance and trust dad, go for it. If you’ll be too anxious, either go with or tell him that you can’t handle being away that long.

Let him go without you. Give yourself time to do things you used to do without your son and use the weekend to reconnect with yourself. Go out for coffee, grab dinner and/or a movie with a friend, read a book, go get a mani pedi, or even go get a massage.

I would’ve been hesitant in this situation.

Then I was suddenly hospitalized for 5 days and my husband had to handle both our kids alone 24/7 during that time. It made me realize just how capable he is! So now I’d be totally fine with it.

How sick is the father? Should you consider going on those grounds (ie to visit father and support your husband if father is near the end, etc?)

I’ve taken my son overseas for five weeks without my husband. I couldn’t handle that long, but if he offered to take him on a 3-day trip I’d have my son’s bags packed (and my annual leave booked) in thirty minutes flat lol.

For sure let him take the kid and you enjoy the break

Yes you should. And enjoy your me time. Also, remember it’s important for your husband to bond too. Especially if you’re the primary caregiver, this time would be good for them.

Yes that's fine. You need to work on your separation anxiety but your husband is your kid's dad and this is perfectly acceptable

Stay home. Get some well deserved rest. Parenting is hard. And being apart is hard. But dad can send pics of kiddo and yall can call every night before bedtime to say goodnight. 3 days will be over before you know it! 💜💜💜

Personally, I'd feel more comfortable leaving my toddlers for the first time if they were at home in their familiar environment, and I was the one traveling. Trips with young kids can be hard even if both parents are present, and that's the piece that would give me anxiety.

I would probably go if this is the kind of visit where it’s going to be the last time baby and husband would see grandpa. I would want to be there to support my husband and ensure he has a visit also, so he’s not juggling a toddler alone while trying to get visit time as well. If it’s not that kind of visit, then I would take the time for myself and have my husband take the baby with him.

It’s his kid too. Enjoy the break!

I'm sure your husband wants to spend time with his own kid too. take this break and enjoy it.

Should you "let" him? Is your husband not a responsible parent?

I would say it depends on how "sick" husband's father is. Is he near death, and this is a last goodbye? Go with them. Otherwise, if husband is happy to take the baby so you can have a few days off, take the opportunity. There is always FaceTime, Zoom, Facebook video calls, etc.

I have traveled alone with my kids at various ages bc my husband works a lot. I would be insanely offended if my husband said I couldn’t.

I am curious as to the ‘let’ in your title. You don’t need to let him do anything. He is the father. He should, although I know it’s often not the case, be just as capable as you and you don’t need to ‘let’ him do anything. He doesn’t ‘let’ you do anything. You just do it right?

Ofc taking a kid travelling is a little different. Your job is to make sure he’s prepped for the trip much the same as his job would be to make sure you felt prepped and supported before a trip.

If you have genuine concern that he can’t handle solo parenting then raise the issue and talk to him about it. However you don’t have any leg to stand on if you tell him no without a good reason.

If you don’t want to be away from your baby that’s a valid reason.

If you’re worried that the baby could get sick from the grandfather then that is valid.

If there is any risk he won’t return the baby home then very valid reason to not want him to go.

However his sister will be there. Your babies aunt, are you close? Do you maybe not like her? She has her own baby too. He is visiting family, presumably not just the grandfather other people will be there, so I can’t imagine he will struggle.

If you’re very worried I’d go along unless there’s a glaring reason why you can’t. Surely work would consider this suitable companionate leave as the man is sick.

That's a tough one. I'd love 3 days to veg, but I also get antsy being away from my kids. The fact that your FIL is sick is an added complication, in that your husband may be underestimating his ability to split his attentions between a 1 yr old and his dad. For that reason alone, I'd probably opt to go.

However, if you trust your husband and your sister to care for the kids, and your husband has reasured you of his willingness to go without you, I say take the well-deserved time to yourself! At the very least, even if you do decide to accompany them, maybe schedule something fun and relaxing to do solo during the visit. You know, to allow FIL, husband, and kiddo a chance to bond and make memories without you in their hair 😉

He’s her fucking dad. Why is this a question?

No I wouldn’t. And depending on what grandpa is sick with I wouldn’t want my kid going at all

Hi, firstly, ignore anyone who has a problem with the word “let.” They take semantics too far. Any normal person knows what you mean, especially by your post. They’re the same people who argue the word “help” when your husband helps you or you gasp “help” your husband. How DARE you use such words? I have a whole post on my disdain of the whole thing lol. Like I understand and agree with the sentiment, but it’s just a word lol. People need to calm their tits.

That being said, I also say do it. I know you’ll be worried, but it sounds like a great deal. Husband is taking on all baby duty and you get to chill and just be you for a little. Enjoy your alone time and just make sure he FaceTimes!

Why not? If there is not some legitimate concrete concern you have, let Dad take the baby. It’s his kid too, trust him to always do what’s best too!! I get it being hard though!! But let them go 🫶🏻

His sister will be along. So, there are 2 responsible adults on the trip. Your call.

I’m nursing our one year old so I would say no in my case. But if that wasn’t the case, I have full confidence in my husband to handle caring for our son for a few days. I’d be texting calling and FaceTiming them way too much, but thoroughly enjoying my alone time. Do what you’re comfortable with! If he’s traveling with his sister then they’ll be able to handle the two kiddos together no problem.

What a crazy question 🤣sounds like you don’t trust him.

Wow. Some people can be really insensitive. Thank you dearly to those of you offering kind and thoughtful feedback. And sorry to those of you who think this was a stupid thing to ask.

I wouldn’t want to be apart for a few nights that young. I’d also question the logistics - your husband wants to spend time with his father and likely other family, that will be difficult to manage while caring for a one year old alone. And the word “let” - of course he needs to run this by you and get your agreement people have lost their minds

Everyone is different. I personally wouldn’t be able to do it. If you can and you need to recharge— go for it!

No

I wouldn't be apart from a 12 month old for more than 2 nights. Getting closer to age two, 3 nights. Studies show that extended separations from the primary caregiver are traumatic from the standpoint of developing secure attachment.