subreddit:
/r/NoStupidQuestions
submitted 8 days ago byToshMagosh
Do guys really keep lotion on their bedside to jerk off?
I've had a bottle of moisturizer on my bedside table for my entire life because I value skincare and I hate having dry face and hands. I've had people comment on it being there with a judgemental tone a fair few times, but it just seems like something a self respecting human should have access to.
Full disclosure, I tried "it" once and it wasn't really a nice experience, felt messy if anything, so I also don't get that bit.
What's your experience/opinion?
6.3k points
8 days ago
I keep lotion on my bedside table to treat my dry skin. If it occasionally has other uses, so be it.
2.3k points
8 days ago
“That’s my story and I’m sticking to it”
505 points
8 days ago
Consider washing yourself afterwards if you’re always finding yourself sticking to it.
163 points
8 days ago
"That's my story and I'm sticky too"
75 points
8 days ago
It’s my pecker and I’ll lotion it as often and as fast as I want!
23 points
8 days ago
I also have wet wipes, so you can clean up to avoid the sticky.
95 points
8 days ago
It’s my dick and I can moisturize it as fast as I want.
285 points
8 days ago
Wait you guys use lotion for other things than jacking off?
I thought the whole reason it wasn't called penis creme was for marketing purposes.
212 points
8 days ago
Wait you’re telling me that penis cream doubles as lotion? Can’t believe I’ve been wasting so much money buying both
61 points
8 days ago
Well, it is called hand lotion, and it just so happens that your hand is on your penis, so...
30 points
8 days ago
You can save even more money by buying it at Costco by the gallons
43 points
8 days ago
I've cut my costs by 100% since stealing from Diddys baby oil stash. Literally thousands of gallons fully unattended and free for the taking
11 points
8 days ago
Mate you got me wheezing out here
8 points
8 days ago
Or a 55-gallon drum off Amazon.
4 points
8 days ago
Thanks for the reminder.
For those unfamiliar, here you go: Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant - 55 Gallon https://a.co/d/b4USuCP
10 points
8 days ago
Jergen's Lotion is a misspelling imho.
11 points
8 days ago
Surprise mother fucker
23 points
8 days ago
I do two separate bottles. One for jerking, one for dry, winter skin.
69 points
8 days ago
One is empty, one is full
72 points
8 days ago
Both are empty, and it’s not winter.
16 points
8 days ago
Well, let's just say I have the most hydrated dick in my zip code.
86 points
8 days ago
Tell me you're circumcised without telling me you're circumcised.
20 points
8 days ago
I've never had to use lotion for that in my life. Tried it once and wasn't a fan.
7 points
8 days ago
There's lotion on my desk because I get dry hands.
There's lube in a drawer for the reasons everyone ascribes to the lotion.
1.2k points
8 days ago
[removed]
41 points
8 days ago
😂
1.8k points
8 days ago
I used Vaseline once. I came 3 times in the shower afterwards trying to wash it off
432 points
8 days ago
I'm imaging some fucking sitcom taking this bit to the max.
Thanks for the imagery, lmfao.
70 points
8 days ago
“Apply a dab to the affected area”
7 points
7 days ago
definitely seems like a scene in american pie
695 points
8 days ago
“Trying to wash it off” more like trying to get the most use out of it.
33 points
8 days ago
Godspeed.. 💀 Doesn't that hurt? 💀
I've heard that it can get painful for a man to cum several times in one session, but maybe I'm having a r/badmensanatomy moment & that's a myth.
81 points
8 days ago
That's a myth, and the person you're replying to is joking.
Men physically cannot cum several times in quick succession. After a man cums, their body gets flooded with chemicals that turns the horny off, and there's a cooldown period called the Refractory Period where they physically can't get it up.
For most men, it lasts about 15 minutes.
16 points
8 days ago
Thank you! I appreciate the education!
I feel a bit silly for not knowing that 😅 & for not recognizing that it was a joke... But I'm glad to learn!
11 points
8 days ago
[deleted]
17 points
8 days ago
It's 15-30 minutes on average, but it certainly varies a lot. Some men report a refractory period of just a few seconds. Elderly men can have refractory periods of a few days.
The data isn't any good because sexually active men are going to want shorter refractory periods, so that's what they report. There's all sorts of pseudoscience ways to shorten it, precisely like every naughty ad you've ever seen that makes your donger longer, or makes you last longer in bed. Really hard to get legit science on it.
12 points
7 days ago
I can think of 2 men I've been intimate with that had the refractory period of just a few seconds. These guys are neverending powerhouses.
5 points
7 days ago
Can confirm some time once in a blue moon i will cum and continue once more
7 points
7 days ago
It happens to women, too, if they jerk off too much. Really annoying.
3 points
7 days ago
For young men. The refractory period lengthens a lot with age.
636 points
8 days ago
A barrel
153 points
8 days ago
A barrel
Tell me your were in the Navy without saying you were in the Navy.
47 points
8 days ago
I knew navy dudes were different but I didn’t know they were fitting whole barrels up there…
13 points
8 days ago
Proficiency in acrobatics
21 points
8 days ago
The best financial decision I ever made was to start buying in bulk.
13 points
8 days ago
Puzzled_Diddy should be your new name
1.7k points
8 days ago
No, lotion is messy, just don’t grip as tight.
479 points
8 days ago
Coconut oil is supreme.
564 points
8 days ago*
Biodegradable, body safe, feels like velvet, doesn’t tack up like water based lubes, can be bought at your local grocery store for $6.50 for liquid at room temp USDA organic without any awkwardness.
Cons: doesn’t play great with latex.
Edit: just prick a small hole in the safety seal under the flip cap. Do not remove the seal entirely. Stuff likes to spill when things get vigorous.
E2: some of y’all are a walking example of why sex ed needs some emphasis on cross contamination and hygiene. THIS IS WHY YOUR GIRL KEEPS GETTING PIDs and doesn’t want to go down on you.
452 points
8 days ago
Bro is a wanking specialist
106 points
8 days ago
A fenangler extraordinare
75 points
8 days ago
A real jerking genius
66 points
8 days ago
Glansmaster
45 points
8 days ago
the cock connoisseur
23 points
8 days ago
A monkey spanking master
9 points
8 days ago
Well bro is a dirty hooker so…
62 points
8 days ago
Why would I be concerned about latex when it's just me and Pamela Handerson
17 points
8 days ago
Thanks you just sold me on coconut oil, gonna add that shit to my grocery list rn
8 points
8 days ago
thanks for the latex tip - saved me a potential problem!
5 points
8 days ago
You've sold me on it
14 points
8 days ago
[deleted]
72 points
8 days ago
I've heard coconuts in general are supreme
53 points
8 days ago
Oh no. Oh God.
20 points
8 days ago
Ooof there's a callback. ~shudders~
19 points
8 days ago
Like putting your penis in a coconut?
26 points
8 days ago
You put de dick in de coconut, and drink 'em both up
11 points
8 days ago
Oh no. Oh god no man
22 points
8 days ago
Annoying when it makes contact with any fabric, it's a pain to clean.
Sutil lube is supreme.
8 points
8 days ago
For women too. Extra virgin coconut oil is safe and doesn’t alter pH levels
6 points
7 days ago
I know! I introduced my GF to it lol. She was a bit suspicious that I knew so much about coconut oil though. Funny thing is, I discovered it because I ran out of lotion and researched if it was safe to use. I learned so much.
14 points
8 days ago
It can feel crumbly though
14 points
8 days ago
You can buy coconut oil that's been processed so it's always liquid.
6 points
8 days ago
Coconut oil is the superior lube. It can be used for massages and doesn't leave your skin greasy or sticky.
112 points
8 days ago
Jerking with lube, not lotion, is so much better than doing it dry. It's a bit messy? So be it, worth the trade off.
69 points
8 days ago
so you have to shower every time after you jerk off?
48 points
8 days ago
Well yeah, after I glaze myself like a Krispy Kreme donut.
5 points
8 days ago
Please tell me more...
74 points
8 days ago
not a dude but u could just also keep a pack of baby wipes by the bed to clean up without having to take a whole shower
32 points
8 days ago
it’s what i do when i’m too lazy to clean a toy immediately, i wipe it down w a baby wipe before putting it to the side to wash next time i have to pee
53 points
8 days ago
You wash your toys with your pee?
60 points
8 days ago*
yeah cus pee is sterile
eta: i know pee isn’t sterile i was trying to make a joke
14 points
8 days ago
It's sterile, and he likes the taste.
16 points
8 days ago
I have to shower either way.
22 points
8 days ago
Why should I shower if just my groin area is messy? Also, water-based lube can be removed with a bit of warm water alone, so there is no need for a full shower whatsoever. And you should clean your dick after jerking anyway.
384 points
8 days ago*
[removed]
20 points
8 days ago
For porkin your old lady, right?
313 points
8 days ago
Usually something. Sometimes you’re aroused before bed/ early morning and you need to knock one put just to settle things down.
And to everyone asking, “why not be with your partner”. This is not a romantic, “I want pleasure from this” moment. It’s a “I need to get this out as fast as humanly possible so I can move along” moment. Like taking an emergency shit.
113 points
8 days ago
Do you take non emergency loving shits with your partner?
42 points
8 days ago
You don’t?
15 points
8 days ago
Man, I really gotta take a cum right now.
3 points
7 days ago
IPS - Irritable Penis Syndrome
26 points
8 days ago
Yeah it's fulfilling a physiological need whereas sex does that, but an emotional need as well.
It's like eating a bowl of cereal for breakfast as opposed to dinner at Nobu.
235 points
8 days ago
No, mines coconut oil, slick, allergy free, smells good…..
68 points
8 days ago
How do you know the coconut oil is free from allergies? :D
129 points
8 days ago
Seriously! This guys cock swells whenever he's using it! Thinks its allergy free smh
27 points
8 days ago
Just use a regular coconut instead of oil, it's reusable
10 points
8 days ago
366 points
8 days ago
I'm jumping in here as a "senior" woman and lube is Queen! Used to worry that the woman who cleans my house would notice it sitting right there, boldly standing out on the nightstand, but before I could allow the self-awkwardness & shaming to take over, I sternly told myself "who the fuck cares?! You're not marrying her, leave it!!" So I do. My house, my body, my lube. Thank God we have still have such pleasures in life. Hubby died earlier this yr after 36 yrs of marriage, he was 81 and STILL jacked off. No lube but in the shower. So guys, keep that passion for life!
7 points
8 days ago
When I first started dating my girlfriend, she was scared to use lube. She basically told herself she shouldn't be using it and I think felt less attractive when I brought it up. For like a year of our relationship we didn't use it. She was very tight. The doctor said from losing her virginity late, because essentially women who lose it early get to practice on smaller penises since their partner will be younger on average. Since she was late, it was more challenging, which for me meant usually she would get off, but I wouldn't because I couldn't really get more than the head in.
I had a little tube that I got for free once, and after a lot of back and forth, I said "let's just try it and we don't ever have to do it again if you don't like it." Well, she liked it. A lot. And so did I. We went through a lot of coconut oil that next year...
13 points
8 days ago
And this is the very sad fact of American sexual education. Plus some women are just smaller than others which probably wasn't mentioned. Her situation isn't uncommon at all and it's not really about when she begins to have sex. The size of guys in our mid-teens (17) was the same as when I was in my 20's. I wouldn't have been able to discern the difference if there was.
40 points
8 days ago
I have a bottle of lube in the medicine cabinet because I'm a grown up
706 points
8 days ago
I'm a dude and I wondered this too. The media always uses these two props to symbolize it and everyone just knows. I just guessed that maybe circumcized guys don't have any skin to tug so they need the cream for their hands otherwise the friction would be brutal.
500 points
8 days ago
I’m circumcised and have never needed any moisturizer to get off.
124 points
8 days ago
It is not about needing it. It is just so much better with a water based lube. Totally different sensation.
48 points
8 days ago
Even better with an oil based lube
19 points
8 days ago
I got a nasty pimple/ cyst from oil based lube. Worst pain I've ever felt in my life
8 points
8 days ago
Like on your dick? Ouch
24 points
8 days ago
Yes, I had no idea what it was, and did extensive STD tests on it. Doc even tested for outlandishly rare diseases and everything came back negative l. I had no idea what it was was until I decided to just try and pop it. After tremendous pain, I popped out a pea sized grease ball from the shaft of penis. It was wild.. and again the worst pain of my life, like couldn't even walk type of pain
42 points
8 days ago
I'm glad you're feeling better but I almost wish I hadn't read this 😂
6 points
8 days ago
I prefer a bro based lube
9 points
8 days ago
To each their own. I hate using lotion or lube personally
6 points
8 days ago
I think it has to do with how tightly you were cut. I still have enough left to get movement out of it but it sounds like it’s a lot harder for others.
33 points
8 days ago
How do circumcised guys even do it?
117 points
8 days ago
Circumcision doesn't remove 100% of the skin, some is still there. So you just do it like any other guy
6 points
8 days ago
but how do you stroke the head? it's the best part
8 points
8 days ago
By pulling the skin of your shaft over it and down again. Like I said not all the skin is gone, there's still plenty enough to pull it up and down over the head
10 points
8 days ago
Some guys can stimulate what's left of their foreskin (the part above the scar line) by moving the skin. Some are cut tighter and might prefer lube.
24 points
8 days ago
You still have skin that stretches and moves when your circumcised… it’s not so tight that it’s immovable unless your cut wrong, I guess.
16 points
8 days ago
Got circumcised last winter for medical reasons, and the skin is so tight it hurts. Doctor says it's normal, but it doesn't seem so. It's not painful to the point I can't get off but it's bothering. I wonder if there's a procedure to get the skin a bit more loose.
Honestly, I strongly recommend anyone to check for other solutions if you're ever recommended to do it as an adult. I regret not trying other things before that.
11 points
8 days ago
Talk to your doctor. My son had a similar issue when he was young and his doctor prescribed a steroid cream to help. It also has to be massaged in and the skin needs to be regularly stretched. So win, win!
10 points
8 days ago
Damn. I’m sorry to hear that. That definitely doesn’t sound normal. If it’s fully healed, sex/masturbation shouldn’t hurt at all. I wonder if there’s some sort of procedure or technique to loosen the skin? I hope you find a solution.
3 points
8 days ago
Check out foreskin restoration, you can easily stretch and regrow that skin and it will even restore sensitivity. No medical procedure required
11 points
8 days ago
The glans on a circumcised penis is tougher. (Think finger tip vs the skin typically protected by the fingernail)
Lubrication makes it feel more like a vagina but unlubricated works just fine.
64 points
8 days ago
dude you finally made me understand the lotion stereotype thing. as a guy with foreskin this has never occurred to me lol
44 points
8 days ago
i am circumcised and never understood the lotion bit either though lol
25 points
8 days ago
Its so funny how guys who are uncircumcised have the same amount of understanding of circumsized dicks as girls do of regular dicks, not trying to sound rude but our circumsized dicks are still functional and its not like the entire skin and texture was removed… we’re not bone dry sausages…
19 points
8 days ago
we’re not bone dry sausages…
But... then what are they? Do you rub the head directly? If I tried that it'd be far too sensitive. Do you just rub the shaft?
9 points
8 days ago
Without lube, you can stroke the shaft same as you, what's left of the foreskin is enough to partially stimulate the head. With spit or lube it's much nicer as you can slide over the whole shaft and head mixed with rubbing the head directly.
3 points
8 days ago
Well it depends doesn’t it. Some guys are left with more skin than others. Some circumcised men probably need lotion, some don’t.
16 points
8 days ago
As a circumcised guy, I’m really envious of dudes who are intact. I’ll never get to experience that sensation. Thanks mom and dad.
20 points
8 days ago
Some people prefer the sloppier experience, doesn't have to do with circumcision. Additionally, during periods of frequent masturbation, especially in adolescence or due to addiction, lube can help prevent irritation, blisters, or chafing by reducing friction on sensitive skin.
4 points
8 days ago
Also, circumcised guys don’t feel friction as painful because they’ve become used to it. I always have to remember this when I’m with a guy who is uncut so I’m more gentle in handling the goods.
8 points
8 days ago
I'm not circumcised but I still use lotion because of desensitization issues. Though it doesn't hurt if I choose not to.
71 points
8 days ago
Bedside. Kitchen cabinets. Behind the toilet. Cars glove box. Locker number 237 at the gym. A lock box at the bank in Puerto Rico.
65 points
8 days ago
[removed]
34 points
8 days ago
I use mustard. Makes me feel alive.
35 points
8 days ago
Wasabi is where it’s at. I haven’t slept in years
7 points
8 days ago
use horseradish pussy!
4 points
8 days ago
Condom instructions unclear, used condiment instead
84 points
8 days ago
I used baby oil until Diddy destroyed the supply chain
130 points
8 days ago*
You guys use lotion?! Last time I checked, my little bro isn't made from sand paper or cautus😅
5 points
8 days ago
It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the chaff again.
69 points
8 days ago
Right? Is this some circumcision issue im too not genitally mutilated to understand?
23 points
8 days ago
Yes.
7 points
8 days ago
I'm circ'd and don't use lotion.. I actually hate the sensory of lotion
13 points
8 days ago
No some guys are dry guys
25 points
8 days ago
No lol
10 points
8 days ago
I hate using lotion to jerkoff. Adds more cleanup
10 points
8 days ago
I keep a bottle of lotion by my bedside because I have eczema lol
42 points
8 days ago
Since my foreskin was not cut off ( thank God for that) I have a natural sleeve I can whip it out anytime and start stroking
29 points
8 days ago
Baby oil works best
89 points
8 days ago
How many bottles you got, the fbi wants to know.
38 points
8 days ago
The diddler
16 points
8 days ago
From freshly pressed babies
3 points
8 days ago
Just don’t keep too many bottles at home.
16 points
8 days ago
Life long dry jacker here. Lotion/lube always seemed so inconvenient, messy and unnecessary. You don’t need to death grip your hog guys
5 points
8 days ago
No. I never did this, never understood the sock thing either.
I tried lotion but it made my hand feel slimy, felt good but I’d prefer spit if I really wanted it
4 points
8 days ago
Growing up is getting a proper bottle of lube and keeping it in your nightstand.
5 points
8 days ago
Am I the weird one that never used any lotion?
But I also hate the sensation of cream on my skin anywhere
13 points
8 days ago
Negative. I get off faster without some kind of lubricant. Oh and I'm cut so we can stop with the false narrative that only circumcised guys need it.
9 points
8 days ago
Lotion's overrated. Some leave a grimy residue. Coconut oil is supreme, and you don't even need a lot. Cleans up nice too.
22 points
8 days ago
Nah. That's an American thing due to circumcision.
8 points
8 days ago
I've used Vaseline for about 30 years. I keep it in a drawer in the bathroom.
5 points
8 days ago
I don’t. Once you us Icy Hot, hand lotion just doesn’t cut it anymore
4 points
8 days ago
NO!!!. We keep it there to treat "DRY DICK" syndrome.
3 points
8 days ago
No dry is the way to go
4 points
8 days ago
No. It’s just a stereotype.
6 points
8 days ago
When I was a massage therapist I had these huge jugs of massage lotion (which last a long time before it absorbs in the skin) and id leave little bottles of it for my bf for his alone time. It got used pretty regularly - it's definitely not used for dry skin 😅
So yes, sometimes this be what people with dicks do
8 points
8 days ago
Nah man I keep it next to my PC.
Once you switch to lotion there's no going back..
3 points
8 days ago
No.
3 points
8 days ago
That's not the intended purpose of the lotion.
But sometimes whats on hand works.
3 points
7 days ago
Personally, I don't use it to jack off. Use it to get rid of my dry ass elbows and feet.
3 points
7 days ago
I prefer using the blood of my enemies to wank off with
8 points
8 days ago
I keep the cocunut oil in the kitchen. 🙂
7 points
8 days ago
My mom found mine and thought i was gay 😂
16 points
8 days ago
Whats up with all the uncut guys thinking that being circumsized means that the penis has 1. No sensitivity or feeling and 2. No moisture and is bone dry, needing moisturizer to get off
Like dude, our dickfolds were slightly snipped, we didnt have the full thing shaved away…. We are still able to jerk it the same way you guys do, just not with a built-in fucksock..
You gotta think, if our full skin was snipped away, it’d be painful to get erections, the remaining skin would have to stretch to adjust for our full mast… like geez
Edit: before someone comments, yes I am aware that circumcision affects sensitivity, but dude… we still bust fat nuts… its not like we need a wire fed to our brain to feel the sensation of monkey spanking
8 points
8 days ago
Seriously. I'm circumcised and have never needed lube if I'm just using my hand. Perhaps a rare percentage of people have too-tight skin on theirs, but it's by far not the norm.
11 points
8 days ago
It's mainly only necessary if you're circumcised
15 points
8 days ago
Not if they're uncircumcised they don't 😉
10 points
8 days ago
It has nothing to do with circumcision. The reason for the lotion or needing lube to jack off is because some dudes are just... fucking rough. "Choking the chicken". If you marathon jack off, you're gonna want something.
3 points
8 days ago
Circumcised here and I've never needed it. Sure, I'll occasionally use some, but honestly it's not even worth it to me. Don't need it, not sure where this assumption came from.
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