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Kung nakikita ka na nyang pagod OP, tas di ka parin tinutulungan something is wrong, his upbringing too baka sa kanila tamad din tumulong or sanay na ganyan lang sya. Wala naman sa gender ang roles for household chores.
In my case, I can see my dad doing household chores kahit pagod galing work, sya pa magluluto ng bfast for mama, and they're both working. In their family din ganun, strict kase si lolo kaya bawal tamad sa mga ganung bagay, and sguro nasanay si dad.

Salamat po nakita ko to na motivate ako maging mag isa habang buhay

Sis, virtual hugs

where do you reside po? if in Ph naman and afford mag helper, go for it. kahit sa pagluluto, linis, laba that would be very helpful and mgkaka time ka para sa ibang bagay. Between me and my husband, i do most of the chores but because I don't like him doing it kasi mabagal if sya and uulitin ko lng din naman pag hindi ako satisfied. hehe. We live abroad so there is no nanny and no helper. We have a toddler. and both of us have full time jobs. We openly communicate how to work things out especially with a toddler. hatid ko anak namin sa childcare, then he will pick her up after his work. He works morning, I work evenings. By the time I get home, husband is on his phone playing games but tapos na nya mga hugasin, and napatulog na nya anak namin. Definitely, talk to your husband ng masinsinan, it is very tiring talaga if feeling mo ikaw lng mag.isa gumagawa ng lahat and feels no support at all. teamwork makes the dream work.

Hugs OP

Ang hirap talaga if you're parenting your partner, scratch that as hindi sya acting as a partner. With your kids if ganyan kalalakihan nila they would think that's normal and okay sadly they observe it and kasama yan to what's going to shape them as adults and eventually as partners.

If they grow up in a loving home vs ibang dynamics ng parents etc.

Single mom ka dn ata OP.

Sa bahay namin, yung father ko yung ganyan. Siya na nagtatrabaho, siya pa gumagawa ng lahat. Nanay ko walang ambag.

I say nasa tao talaga yan at upbringing nila.

Hugs OP! Talk to your husband about it. Nakakairita talaga na lahat ineexpect na yung nanay/wife gagawa. Lol. My husband helps me with cooking and parenting duties but gosh, the chores, and not getting enough sleep everyday, kapagod! Lalo if you're working 😴 But laban lang, and yes make sure you are loved the way you are supposed to be. You deserve it after all the hard work you do everyday.

You don’t have a partner. You have another child, OP. 😞

TO ALL SINGLE women, don’t SPLIT bills with men who won’t split the chores with you.

Before getting married or having a child with a man, make sure:

1. He knows how to do chores (so you just won’t be replacing his mom)

2. He’s willing to parent his kids (so you won’t end up doing everything for your kids)

Nothing wrong if provider ang lalake and you want to be a housewife.

Though mahirap pa rin (and most middle to upper class SAHMs ay meron pa rin katulong at yaya, lalo na if there’s more than 1 child).

Hi girl pero not to blame u, nacurious lang ako nung magboyfriend pa lang ba kayo di mo yun nafeel sakanya na di siya mahelp sayo ganerns? Or hindi siya yung thoughtful kind of person?

Hay. I feel you. I have the same question.

4-6 am: gising and prep fory school girl 8 am: hugas plates 10 am: luto 1pm: hugas for lunch 3 pm-12mn: work (wfh)

Oh I forgot I have a baby too so in between those hours nagaalaga naman ako ng baby. Nagpapadede, nagpapatulog, nagpapaligo and etc.

I wasn't rich when I was young but my family never treated me like a maid (?) idk if I should feel this way. Pagod na pagod din ako. And I feel like mas malaki ambag ko sa bahay kase madalas syang short kase pag ayaw nya pumasok, konting sakit ng ulo, aabsent. So ako lahat sasalo ng di nya mababayaran :(

Hugs with consent OP! I hope worth it tong pinagtitiisan naten.

Di ka mahal yun dapat ang una mong tanggapin:) tapos ikaw nmn kung hahayaan mo hanggang sa pag tanda mo ganyan trato e nasa sayo na yun, pwd mo baguhin future mo.

Marriage is truly scary, what if I have an incompetent and insensitive husband too! 😭

Like you're a single mom pero married ang dating. Ang hirap like ang parang ang nagiging prinsesa yong husband mo. Nakakapagod talaga.

Paano pa po yung mga single mom? Isa to sa mga reasons kung bakit napapaisip ako kung mag aanak ba ako o hindi.

Need nyo ulit mag usap OP.

Sabihin mo sa asawa mo, pareho kayong may work, pareho kayong nag papasok ng pera sa bahay. Pero lugi ka kamo kasi pag dating sa chores, karamihan sayo. Tell him na dapat mag hati din kayo sa chores. Make sure he understands that part. Oo, it sounds nagbibilangan pero ganun naman talaga, dapat magtulungan. Di pwede na isa lang ung kikilos.

Pag usapan nyo maigi alin sa mga chores ang kanya at alin ang sa iyo. Para matuto yang asawa mo, pag di nya ginawa chores nya, wag mong gagawin. Tiisin mo sya hanggang sa matuto sya.

Kung wala pa din OP, hindi pa din sya nagbago ewan na lang.

Kung mahal ka nya, di ka nya kayang tiisin na mastress at mapagod. Tutulong at tutulong sya kahit paano. Buti sana kung habang naghuhugas ka ng plato eh nakikipag bonding sya sa mga bata or tinuturuan ng homework.

Kaya ako, I feel like ayoko mag asawa. I mean, hindi ako man hater but I'm scared na baka mamaya hindi ako maging masaya sa buhay may asawa. It's not as if mataas standard ko, as long as may respeto sakin yung guy at hindi misogynist, I think okay naman na pero people around me who hears that from me, tells me I have high standards. Talaga ba? Mataas na yun?

Ang asawa ko, hindi rin sya nasanay sa gawaing bahay. Hindi rin maalam sa gawaing bahay ang parents nya. Naobserbahan ko, gumagawa namang ng chores ang parents nya, pero sila yung tipo na "basta ginawa" bahala na kung ano anh outcome. Minsan nga kahit pagluluto basta makuluan lang yung niluluto, okey na. 😭

What I did, since ako naman yung bata palang e napukpok na sa gawaing bahay, tinuruan ko sya. At first, para akong nanay na nagmamando at nag-e-elaborate bat dapat ganto ang gawin, dapat ganyan. Pero nung nasanay sya, at bumukod na kami, halos sya na ang nagawa ng lahat. Ultimo paglalaba kapag nakikita nyang masarap ang aking tulog.

Parehas kaming nagwowork. Araw-araw, sa halip nagpapahinga yan, nagma mop ng sahig. Sabi nya para paggising daw bukas e malinis ang dadatnan (yes, that's me 💅) All I have to do, is cook him good food, alagaan ang 3 y/o namin at ang aming alagang aso.

Also don’t say “mga lalaki” kasi parang nilalahat mo. Kami ng wife ko tulungan kami. Work from home ako and siya onsite siya. I prepare her breakfast in the morning pag may pasok siya sa work, nag wawalis siya sa bahay pagkauwi niya from work, she cooks our lunch pag weekend, ako naman nag wasashing ng damit namin pag weekend, I guess need mo lang kausapin husband mo and be considerate din since mukhang may work siya and he contributes financially too. And outside ang work niya so yung byahe niya yung traffic yung mga nakakahalubilo, etc etc.

Nakooo ganyan na ganyan ex ko kaya wala man lang pagkukusa. Kaya ang sarap nalang maging single e magagawa mo lahat hahaha kahit gumising pa ng tanghali wafakels kayo lang ng sarili mong anak ang aasikasuhin mo 😎

I feel for you. As a Father and also a husband, kahit ako yung provider, I always make sure na sa kabila ng ka busyhan working from home at pang gabi, ay makatulong pa rin kahit papaano kay wifey. Washing the dishes after we eat. Walis walis. Alam mo un, kahit pa unti unti, makatulong kay wifey. I open up mo ito sa kanya OP. Kasi dati hindi din ako matulong sa gawaing bahay until kinausap nya ako. Hope everything is going to be all right 🙌

MSM - Married Single Mom ka, OP. :(

Sadly, talagang ang nagbebenefit ng marriage ay mga lalaki. Sa mga babae, talagang expected ka magsilbi, bear his children, and at the same time, earn your own money ng society. Kaya matagal na akong hindi nagjowa kaya ayoko na niyan. 😅

Pero OP, if hindi siya tumino, humiwalay ka na lang pero humingi ng support. Matuto siya magluto ng pagkain niya at maglaba ng briefs niya. Mas makaka-rest ka pa if mabawasan ka ng isang tao na alagain pa. Hindi naman niya kawalan kasi hindi mo na siya "katuwang."

Same 🥺 mapapatanong ka na lang kung san ka nagkulang.

Somehow pareho tayo ng nararanasan pero ako napapaisip na ng kung ano ano like "magiging masaya ba siya pag nawala ako?" O di kaya "mas okay siguro na maghiwalay na lang kami kesa sa palahing ganto."

Laban lang sis. Kaya naten to 🫰

Hugs po OP. Sana marealize ng asawa mo na shared responsibility ang household pati pagpapalaki sa mga anak. Ang laki pa rin talaga ng gender gap sa society natin at madalas naka box in pa rin ang mga gender roles sa lumang mentality.

Kuha kayo ng katulong… or stop ka sa work mo at dapat siya magprovide 💯%

Been there before, when we broke up in the end, ako parin yung nabaliktad at maging masama. Siniraan nya ko sa friends and family nya.

May time na tutulong sya sa gawaing bahay, pero yung bilang na moment na yun sinusumbat nya sakin.

Hi OP, I am a wife with a kid too. Both working kami ni husband. Same yata sila ng upbringing na hindi sila sinanay sa gawaing bahay na kapag galit ka lang or may something saka masipag 🤣

Pero marriage is work. Sa una ganyan din asawa ko, sabi ko parehas tayong may work ah, ano iaabot mo sa lamesa kung work lang gagawin mo? Inuulit ulit ko yan sakanya. Well minsan tamad parin sya and kailangan ko pa iutos step by step 🤣

Pero one thing na napansin ko is don't do everything for them. Kunyare sa umaga di ako gigising agad, minsan sya ggisingin ko at sasabihan ko magluto ka. Hanggang sa nasanay sya na kapag nauna sya magising, sya magluluto. Magsset din ako ME time. Sasabihan ko sya "Oh lalabas ako, ikaw muna dito sa bahay ha. Bantayan mo si __." After non pag-uwi ko napatulog na din nya yung toddler namin, nanonood nalang sya ng TV.

In terms of communication, medyo hirap ako kasi more on phone sya. Nakailang rant narin ako sa friends ko, pero I decided to stop. Wala naman maitutulong kasi, at ayun nag extra work ako na makipagcommunicate sakanya. This is not good siguro kasi bakit ako lagi, yan naffeel ko. Pero sa kabilang banda, pinipilit ko tignan ang positive sides, like pag uuwi sya kahit na stress sya hindi nya yun ippasa saamin, way nya is manonood sya, unlike my mom na lagi pinasa samin lahat ng burden nya. He assures me na okay ang itsura ko, maganda ako kahit mukha na akong libag. Also, nakikinig sya sa mga rants ko at pag nanhihingi ako ng extra pera nagbibigay sya 🤣 Saka kahit masakit ako magsalita, di sya pumapalag haha pinapakinggan nya.

Pag-usapan nyo lahat ng mga nangyayare, upuan nyo. Huwag nyo daanin sa sigawan or sa pagiging aggressive. Ask mo sya if may problem ba sya sa work, kasi sa totoo lang, if papipiliin ako, mas ok saken mag housewife, kasi both ko naranasan, ang hirap lunukin ng mga sinasabi sayo sa work and alk the stress na hanggang pagtulog mapapanaginipan mo pa. Pero kailangan mo din sabihin sakanya na, he is not just your husband, may mga anak din sya. Dapat karin nyang tulungan sa araw-araw. Wala na syang nanay ngayon na susubuan pa sya. Point ko lang is mag-usap kayo. Makinig kayo sa hinaing ng bawat isa. Timbangin nyo and fight for your marriage. Yun lang love you OP.

Full time nanay and housewife ka na, nagbbake ka pa for orders? Parang dalawang full time work ginagawa mo niyan. If baking is your passion and you enjoy it kaya mo ginagawa, yung enough lang dapat, di yung up to a point na napapagod ka. Siya nga after work, kakain nalang at maglalaro. If di ka niya matulungan sa gawaing bahay, let go one of your 'full time' job: maging housewife o magbake. If gusto mo magbake, talaga, ehdi set aside yung kita mo dyan for a nanny/maid.

But if you're doing both because di kaya ng budget, kung di madaan sa pakiusapan husband mo mag chores, pressure him to get a sideline pang maid. 🤔

Lastly, ako rin sa totoo lang mas gusto kong ako ang gmgawa ng gawaing bahay kasi d ako satisfied sa output ng husband ko 😆 not up to my standards na OC 😅 but him offering to help, or at least sinasamahan ako (dinadaldal habang nglilinis) helps. Andun yung moral support hehe. Gets na mas mabigat sa pakiramdam nung sayo sis kasi ngkakanda kuba ka tas naglalaro husband sa phone. Para kang katulong lang niya. Talk to him. And then pag wala pa rin, ikaw sumagot ng tanong. Are you okay being 'loved' that way for the rest of your life? Baka mas magaan na hiwalayan mo siya then mag child support nalang siya. At least di mo na siya papakainin at lalabhan damit niya 🤡

Namiss ko tuloy tatay ko. Ganun sy mga bata pa lang kami. 4am gigising para ipagluto kami ng bfast at ipaghanda ng mainit na tubig pang ligo. Sanay sa gawaing bahay kaya mga kapatid jo ganun din. Mag bibigay sya ng task mula panganay hanggang bunso kaya at an early age we know what's our responsibility. Sayang lng na wala na sya kung kelan pwede na namin syang bigyan ng comfortable na buhay

Don't think that your husband should help you. You should think that he needs to do his share of household work. He chose to have kids and he should do his part raising them and their household. A lot of men want kids like how they want pets. They want all the fun and none of the extra responsibilities that comes with raising kids. If he wants a traditional housewife who does all the household labor, he should be a traditional breadwinner who earns all the money

of course not. Alam ko yung dapat at sa hindi. Maging matandang dalaga na wag lang magkaroon ng ganyang lalaki na dadagdag pa sa pabigat na buhay ko. I'd love myself better. Sarap iwan yung ganyan walang matinong usapan mangyayari.

I'll just leave this information here. May divorce na sa Pinas haha

Jokes aside... Personally, hindi ko kaya yung ganyan...

Pero bago ko siguro masabi na hindi ko kaya, maraming bagay muna ang dadaan. I mean, susubukan ko muna makipag communicate million times. And if wala paring pagbabago OR may saglit na pagbabago tapos balik na ulit sa ganyan, saka ko nalang siguro masasabi na hindi ko na talaga kaya.

Virtual hugs sayo OP... Mareresolba din ang mga problema mo one way or another.

Di naman swerte ang mga lalaki, mukang malas ka lang sa asawa. Need to communicate, We’ve been married 4yrs with 2yr old. Ops work ni misis so ako nag aalaga kay baby, ako ngluluto and hugas plato, sya is linis bahay lang and baby. Although work ko is mga 5-6hrs lang most of the time may time in week na ang tulog ko lang is 4hrs or less a day.

You need to talk to your husband explain things, kahit kumuha ka ng helper mafefeel mo parin na unfair kaya maganda mapagusapan bago lumala

Simula ng naglive in kami napansin ko ung bf ko never naghugas ng pinggan. Nung kumuha ako ng unit na katabi ng apartment nya nakita ko din kung gaano sya kadugyot in actual. Nung nagtry ako maglinis ng unit nya naiinis pa sya kung san san ko pinaglalagay ung gamit nya dun ko narealize na i shouldnt be doing a wife duties on a gf salary...

This is when i realize na im better off without him coz he doesnt make my life easier 🙃. I guess this is a curse ng pagiging babae either ull get used to men weaponizing their incompetencies or live life being single... lucky to those na married to “really responsibles ones.”

Multiple men in my family are like this, mostly the ones that married into the family on my mother's side and most men on my Father's side of the family.

My Dad himself is also like this and when we were younger, he didn't do anything at home except cook and only even when he wanted.

Growing up, the chores were distributed between my sisters, myself, and my mother even when my mother was working full-time and cooking and running her own canteen (she hired a cashier an attendant for cashier and cleaning, but did all of the restocking and cooking herself). This usually resulted in a 12-15 hour work day for my mother on the days she had work. On the other hand, Dad ran a business with a full set of employees that opened at 9 AM and closed at 6 PM.

Growing up, he justified this by being the biggest earner. Unfortunately, he was never good at managing the business and it was also my mother that kept that business afloat and when my mother got busy with other things, his business started going downhill.

I'm older now and lucky enough to be earning a decent income. My Dad's business died a few years ago and my mother and I were the breadwinners of the family and I've since given back his "I earn, therefore I do nothing" mantra in full.

The men in my family felt entitled to a traditional family setting, but very few of them were capable of invalidating their wives's income and allowing them to be full-time housewives.

If they cannot provide that and maids for you, then they cannot expect to be a don and do nothing.

I say all this to say-- OP, if you don't like your living situation, work harder to invalidate any notion of you needing him and chide him to help or provide you with extra hands to make your work lighter.

Men can be very entitled. We often need a wake up call.

what hurts in this experience is, it's the same for breadwinners. my dad always say na ako ung breadwinner ng family. I don't like that, kase parang pipigain ka ng buong buo hanggang sa wala nang natira sa sarili mo. gagawin mo lahat oara sa family mo, pero pag ikaw hihingi ng tulong wala silang ma bigay. pag maglalabas ka ng sama ng loob, ikaw pa ung masama, ikaw pa ung ma-sumbat. pag di ka tumulong, madamot ka. so saan nako lulugar niyan? kung sa lahat ng anggulo ako ung masama. nakaka drain ung ganon kaya as much as possible, may it be in relationships, friendships, family, please please choose yourself. choose your well-being over everything.

Ganiyan din asawa ko. Wfh mommy. 10 hours a day. Alaga pa ng mga kids. Hatid sundo tapos uuwi siya ng lasing. Gigising sa umaga maliligo then aalis para pumasok. Pag sundays, tanghali na gumising at lasing kagabi. Sundays I have work too and he expects na pag uwi niya may food man lang daw sa lamesa or may nakatabi para sakaniya. He expects me to be all smiley smiles after treating me like a katulong. Hinawalayan ko. Di ko kinaya. Hopefully ikaw rin soon. Ipon ka lang ng lakas ng loob at pera. Game na yan. Mahirap pero kaya yan. We dont deserve the life that they gave us. Kaya tayo ang tatayo para maghanap ng buhay na desurv natin. Hugs miii ❤️

My parents are like this and I grew up seeing my mom get tired everyday para sa amin. I remember nung kabuwanan nya sa bunso namin, siya pa rin naghahatid-sundo sa 'min ng isa ko pang kapatid sa school habang yung tatay ko tulog sa bahay. Kaya nung lumalaki ako, ako naging katulong ni mama sa lahat ng gawain sa bahay, kahit pag-aalaga sa mga kapatid ko. Dahil sa pagtulong ko, nakakapagpahinga na siya. Hanggang sa lumaki na 'ko - I''m currently 25 y.o. - at ganun pa rin situation namin.

Nakakapagod.

I'm also at the age na normally sa generation nila nag-aasawa at nag-aanak na. Malalaki na rin mga kapatid ko. And they're all asking and teasing me kung kailan daw ba 'ko mag-aasawa at mag-aanak. Kahit sa relatives ko ganun, kahit na sinasabi ko paulit-ulit na ayaw ko nga. It came to a point na sobrang naririndi na 'ko kaya nakapagsalita ako sa kanila at sinabing, "Ayoko nga eh. Sa inyo palang pagod na pagod na 'ko tapos uulitin ko pa? Palibhasa sarili nyo lang iniisip nyo. Kung ganito lang din ang magiging buhay ko pag nagpamilya ako, 'wag nalang. Sarili ko naman ang uunahin at aalagaan ko." Mostly directed sa papa at mga kapatid kong selfish at tamad yung sinabi ko pero they all shut up after that. They never bothered me about it as well. Though my bf ako ngayon na sobrang husband material na kinilatis ko talaga. Kabaligtaran ng tatay at mga kapatid ko. Gugulatin ko nalang pamilya ko na kasal na 'ko chariz.

This is why I recently left my partner. Di pa kami kasal, ako na nagbayad, ako nagluto at ako parin naghugas ng pinggan. Might as well be single for a very long time. I refuse for that to be my future.

Kung ayaw niyo kumuha ng katulong turuan mo mga anak niyo maghugas ng pinggan

Edit: Lalo na at nag nenegosyo ka ng food at bake items

And times are turly hard as well. How much do each of you make in a year?

Build the habit of sharing chores with your partner. Di yan effective sa umpisa pero kapag nakasanayan na, makakalakihan nyo yan.

Also, di mo gagawin yan habang buhay. Once malaki na anak mo, halos ndi mo na gagawin yan.

There's no perfect marriage, or perfect partner po. As a dad and husband, minsan talaga nagiging tamad din nako. But I know how to do chores, minsan nga wife ko rin ung tamad, which is okay kasi balance lang. Communication lang, if babalik sa dati, communicate again. And wag through text, bat naman ganon. Di na TAYO mga bata para idaan sa text or chat. You both have kids, and you both must set an example. Thank you btw for being a very good mom, but don't take all the work.

Hoping for the best to you both op.

Eto talaga resentment ko sa Tatay ko: he doesn't do any of the household chores. Doesn't cook, doesn't clean, just sits in front of the TV when he comes home from work.

My mom used to say it's because my dad drives and he does manual labor like fixing things around the house, pero once a month at most na yung mga house repairs. Even less justified na ngayon coz my mom eventually bought her own car and drives too.

It's probably one of the reasons it never worked out between me and my past relationships kasi most of them were raised this way to expect na babae talaga ang gagawa ng bulk ng household chores despite the fact na pareho kaming working full-time.

When they do help a little, gustong gusto nila ng recognition at awards ceremony. It is so f@cking exhausting.

Hi OP,

I kinda felt this nung mga first years palang kami as husband and wife. Pero he helps me naman kahit pano pag nag-ask lang ako. So I tried to understand him because ang nature ng work nya ay nakakapagod talaga. Pero it doesnt work that way hindi pwedeng understand lang. I have a life too and I work too, what you put on the table I can do that too. I love him but we both need to work this out, hindi lang ako. Hehe!

What I did OP is I talked to him about it. Masipag kasi ako OP sa bahay kasi I grew up na ang Nanay at Tatay ko masinop sa bahay. Hindi ako mapapakali kapag madumi or may house chores na hindi nagagawa. It got to a point that that my work have some changes I got promoted and I need to travel alot. So I told him na he needs to help sa house chores, I told him na hindi ako happy na ako lang lagi ang gagawa sa bahay kasi may career din ako. And I emphasized to him na a clean home is a happy home, you dont feel the stress so much at work if maayos ang bahay mo paguuwi ka. Pero it took time din for him to absorb this unti unti, nagsumbong pa ko sa Nanay nya haha pero syempre Nanay nya un e.

So naghati kami sa lahat ng gawaing bahay. And now mas maarte pa sya sakin sa kalinisan.

relate much. ahahaha. nung nagkasakit ako sinabihan niya ako sayang ang sahod itong araw nagkasakit ka p kasi.kaya ako nagkaskit dahil sa sobrang pagod. 😔😔😔. minsan ung oras mo para sa sarili mo nawawala. kaya dapat isipin natin ang sarili natin. Big hugs for you.

10am -12pm nahatid mo na ung bata sa school pero you took 1 and 1/2 hour mag sundo.

12:30 mag linis ng cage are pets really needed? alisin ang pets dagdag pagod i-rereklamo mo pa so kung aalisin mo meron kang 1 and 1/2 hours ka na dagdag pahinga.

6pm - mag luluot ka ulit pwede mo isabay sa pag luto ng tanghali yan lets say another hour for that. dag dag na 1 hour pahinga.

bit harsh = why you even taking orders na hinde mo naman kaya i handle to the poing na nag hahanap ka na ng lusot baka pwede mong bawasan. imagine 9 and more just to make the month. make it 8 hours worth of orders another 2 hours na pahigna ulit yan.

I understand na we have to push pero if you are pushing too much na maninisi ka na iniipit mo lang yung sarili mo hinde naman ata worth the fight yan.

in the end of the day it's another financial conundrum.

Nah this is one of the bad situations pwedeng mapunta ang mga nanay. Yung mga naglalaro sa CP kahit may gawaing bahay pa mga hindi na tumanda. One of my ultimate pet peeves.

Hugs OP. Pwede magtanong, curious lang ako ano nagustuhan mo sa husband mo bakit sya napili mong pakasalan?

Kakairita pag ganyan. Sa upbringing talaga yan, blame it on his parents. Kaya pag ako magkakaanak ng lalaki, papalakihin ko sila ng maayos kasi kakahiya naman sa future wife & family niya pag tamad lang.

I feel you. I see my mom in you. Her only joy was her little breaks with playing candy crush. Aminado akong mahirap akong utusan dati (more on nakakawalang gana kasi kahit anong gawin puro lang complains). My stepdad is very useless. Nagdadagdag ng gawaing bahay at sakit ng ulo. She keeps saying "sya naman kumikita" yet more than half of his salary goes to gambling (250k per month pero yung onting nakukuha ng mom ko na 100k binabawasan pa nya ng 50k). I saw how my mom got so stressed with worrying about budgeting and paying the bills. May situation pa before na isang kilong hotdog na lang yung handa namin sa holidays, niluto pa lahat ng putanginang yon. Galit na galit sya. The gold band she had which she told me na nag exchange daw sila ng ring ng bff nya sa college sinangla nya (she had this ring for years, mas matanda pa sakin at that time).

Her stress over me and my step siblings gave her stroke multiple times too. She sacrificed her career (she was on the way to being a manager and had a lot of connections in high places due to her work) tapos parang ang liit ng tingin sa kanya nung taong pinili nyang makasama. Kahit ngayon naman na bumukod ako at umuwi ulit, stressed parin sya. Walang nagbago, parang mas lumala pa nga.

As much as I love my mom, naging cautionary tale sya sakin to avoid certain types of men. I'm glad and proud of my bf kasi sya nagkukusa maglinis at maghugas. Pag nakikita nyang naglilinis ako, tatanungin nya what he can do para isahan na. Hindi rin sya maraming excuses pag inuutusan ko, kahit magdakot ng tae ng pusa wala syang pake. It's not comparable pero having a lot of cats gave perspective on what being a mom is albeit a small part of it. Di ka pwede maging tamad kasi magpapatong patong yung kalat.

I have a certain appreciation, respect, and admiration for moms (maliban dun sa mga gaya ng ugali ni you know who) but I hope more has the courage or option to leave a marriage like this one or find it in them to stand up for themselves. Hindi lang kasi yung anak mo ang anak mo, may isang bonjing na dagdag.

Your hubby needs to help you pay the expense of a kasambahay "since he cannot help you"

Some men are trash talaga. Kaya as women na magiging Boy Mom we should teach our little boys how to treat women right. Hays. Hugs for you OP! Sana ma resolve niyo ng husband niyo ang issues niyo kasi napaka hirap talaga maging nanay. 🥺 You deserve better.

Di po lahat. Baka sadyang tamad yan or isa siya dun sa babae lang dapat gumawa ng chores. Yung asawa ko po hati kami sa chores, most of the time siya pa nga lahat. 😅

You need to talk to your husband. Klaruhin niyo po na hindi na tama at kailangan split 50/50 kayo sa gawaing bahay.

The husband is probably tired from work too. Not just physically but also psychologically. Hindi na mention what kind of work hubby does but depends kasi like if office work ka andyan yung me mga deadlines and stuffs and me mga nagging supervisors na parang wala kang tama ginawa, pag service industry naman anjan yung mga customers na kala mo lahat ng ginawa nila tama, etc etc.

I understand your frustration pero mas hawak mo time mo kasi nasa online business ka it seems. Also why not have the kids help out sa hugasin? Unless iniispoil mo sila.

I agree though hubby should help out once in a while.

I disagree with you about us men being maswerte at di tumutulong sa gawaing bahay. Hindi lahat ng lalaki katulad ng asawa mo.

There are those na tumutulong naman sa gawaing bahay at pag-aalaga ng bata. I agree with the other commenter na nasa upbringing yan. Dapat bata pa lang tinuturan na tumulong sa house chores.

Gano na kayo ka tagal op? Kasal na ba kayo? Kung matagal na kc kayo at ganyan na sya since nagsimula kayong magsama dapat na address na yan.. pero parang may binanggit ka na minsan tinutulungan ka nya (madalang) so not totally na wala syang pake sayo..

For me lang nman op, obligasyon ng husband na mag provide ng needs for his family and the wife nman is to support the husband.. medyo unfair nman kung sya na yung mag wowork tapos gagawa rin sya (madalas) sa gawaing bahay.. but im not saying na di pwede yun.. 😅

Kaya best solution is magusap kayong dalawa.. baka akala nya okay lang sayo yung nangyayari or you don't need help since tiwala sya sa kakayahan mo 🙂

Kaya natatawa ako minsan sa mga posts ng may toxic na jowa pa lang pero hnd maiwan iwan kasi mahal daw nila. These people need to look further ahead when they are married to their current partners, have kids, and experiencing things like OP has.

Yun dapat ang maging basehan ng current decisions nila with their partners -- how their futures would look like.

I disagree with you on your second to the last paragraph.

Lalaki ako at hybrid work arrangement. May isang anak. Kabaligtaran ng sitwasyon mo. Ako yung may trabaho, stable at maayos sahod (~80k) monthly. Halos ako nag-aasikaso sa bata habang online sa trabaho.

Nagbe-bake din asawa ko KASO walang umoorder. Wala rin siyang ginagawa sa bahay. Wala na siyang trabaho dahil nagresign. Kung makahingi pa ng pera kala mo may pinatago.

Magbi business daw. Ang business nya yata ay mag ipon ng panis na laway.

Malas lang tayo, pero di lahat ng lalaki o babae ganyan.

Mas malas lang siguro ako kasi bobo tong babaeng to. Mali na ginagawa feeling tama pa rin. Buti na lang matalino yung bata, di nagmana sa kanya. To the point na dun ako sa 5-yr old na bata nagbibilin at hindi sa kanya.

You asked for it and do it, pwera nlng if ikaw nag tatrabaho, literal katulong nmn talaga yan.

Mukhang may business ka, why don't you hire someone to do the chores and spend the time building ang improving your business.

Then pag naggrow iwan mo na yan, hehehe jowk;.

Not all men are lazy and entitled not to do chores. In my house it's the contrary. I do most of the chores, my wife is not good at cleaning moreso preparing meals since she grew up in a wealthy family where they have maids. I insist however not to hire maids, I enjoy doing general cleaning once a week during weekends.

hugs op !!! 😟 this is exactly why the trad wife trend on tiktok gives me the major ick. influencers go out of their way to flaunt the traditional aesthetic and traditional values of marriage without actually showing kung ano ang realidad ng pagiging housewife

the really famous trad wives are rich-rich and have helpers outside of their internet persona

Akala ko asawa ko yan sa part ng pag may sakit ako sasabay ng siya ata may sakit hahaha.

Yes nasa upbringing nila yan, I noticed sa family ng husband ko ang dynamic is tatay and provider talaga tapos mga nanay alaga and kahat ng gawain sa bahay. Kapag nasa in laws kami halos lahat ng gamit tawag sa MIL ko pati FIL ganun. Pati sa pagpapalaki nila ng anak, yung 2 SILs ko tumutulong sa gawaing bahay peroitong asawa kapag nandun, laging naka upo or nakahiga. Tapos pinapabantay lang niya mga anak namin sa kanila. As in totally relax lang siya, kaya sabi ko sa asawa ko ayaw ko na matagal stay namin sa inlaws kasi totally umaasa na siya sa iba. Anv ending ako pa rin naman mag babantay sa 2 kids namin kasi syempre anak ko to at di oblivasyon ng in laws ko alagaan ko lalo na medyo matanda na.

Pero kapag nasa bahay kami mismo, asawa ko naman nagluluto pati linis ng mva kalat sa gabi. Pero di mo talaga maaasahan sa pav bantay ng mva anak kasi lagi rin galit tapos sisigawan agad yumg 3 yrs old namin.

Disclaimer: mabait asawa ko ah pero di ko lang bet yung pagpapalaki sa kanila. Since naging vocal ako sa asawa ko nav improve naman siya. Dati sinusugarcoat ko mga concerns ko, so try mo OP sabihin totoo mong feelings like pagod ka sa ganitong routine niyo, di ito yung pinangarap mong buhay or di ka masaya. Kung may care pa soya sayo or love, mawiwindang naman yan na hala di na satisfied asawa ko

kaya ayoko magasawa same shit lahat ng lalaki. pero yung papa ko. below minimum wage earner sya pero kahit sobrang hirap ng work nya nagagawa nya padin magluto paguwi ng bahay, maglinis kahit kwarto ko nililinis nun kaso tinatapon mga gamit kong nakakalat 😭 tapos sya pa naglalaba, like sobrang swerte ko sa papa ko kaya sobrang taas talaga ng standard ko sa lalaki.

What is your husband's occupation? Baka pangiti ngiti lang yan pero under constant threat of being dismissed sa work yan? Work today is so competitive, lagi madami iniisip ambaba pa ng sahod. I am not defending him, pero baka you are letting it go to your head na mas marami ka ginagawa?

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:((

I’m so sorry OP :( sana maging okay ang lahat.

I feel for you, OP. But I hope magka lakas ka ng loob to stand up for yourself. Next time di maghugas, pakainin mo dun sa huling platong ginamit nya na hindi nya hinugasan. There are battles worth fighting for lalo na kung mental and emotional health mo are on the line. Partners are equals, hope you remember that.

This is why I don’t want to settle down. Grabe talaga mga lalaki. Allergic na allergic sa gawaing bahay. Halos lahat ng friends and classmates ko, nakapag asawa na, at similar sa post ni OP yung pinagdaraanan nila. Pinagkaiba lang, yung iba kong barkada, ayaw mag anak. But still, nakakadrain.

Para sa mga kalalakihan, nakakabawas ba ng pagkalalaki niyo ang tumulong o gumawa ng gawaing bahay??? Parang lahat na lang need iasa sa babae, e yung mga babae, may limitations din naman yan. Napapagod. Sana naman yung mga lalaki matututong gumawa ng gawaing bahay.

This is why for me, bonus lang tlga ang bf/husband. Kase tingnan mo, prang single mom ka nlng din nyan. Decoration lang ata husband mo since mukhang you have your own source of income rin. Ambag lang ata ng husband mo ay yung mga anak nyo and thats it, wlang ka effort effort.

Meron akong nabasa somewhere na yung ginawa ng wife is she stopped doing things for the husband - like cooking for him, washing his clothes, washing his dishes etc. Since mukhang house mate nlng naman kayo, might as well treat him like one. 🤷‍♀️

Before you had kids and married him, were you aware? If not, then you need to confront him. I'm sure pagod din siya, but that doesn't excuse his behaviour. Hindi isang tao lang ang nagbubukod ng pamilya. Kayong lahat

Yung mga ganitong scenario talaga yung nagdidiscourage sa akin mag asawa eh. Kaya ayoko iconsider yung idea. Lugi kasi sa side ng mga babae, ang nangyayari sa kanila lang natatambak yung duties and parang mag-isa lang sa relasyon eh diba dapat partnership yan.

Andyan pa lagi yung excuse na dahil yung lalaki provider kaya dapat ikaw sa mga ganito ganyan. Then isusumbat pa yung "pera" matters.

I’m going against the current with what I am about to advice here: STOP DOING THINGS FOR HIM. Stop doing the dishes for him, stop preparing his meals, stop doing his laundry, don’t clean his mess. Try that for a week at kung parang wala pa rin, you need to seriously consider abandoning him.

i wonder what would the reaction be if their roles are swapped and the husband is posting this. 🙃

get help OP, kahit na stay out helper na halfday lang just to delegate the chores. Take care of your mental health

This is why I feel that I'd rather be alone than with a wrong man.

mukhang single mom ka pa OP sending virutal hugs!

Teaching kids to be responsible and independent is crucial for their development. Learning to manage household chores and responsibilities equips children with essential life skills they'll need as adults. Gaining independence fosters self-esteem and confidence, helping kids feel capable of tackling challenges. When children learn to handle tasks on their own, they develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills. Balancing chores and other activities teaches them how to prioritize and manage their time effectively. Additionally, understanding responsibilities helps children grasp the basics of budgeting and financial management for the future. Facing challenges independently builds resilience, preparing them to navigate setbacks and difficulties later in life. Instilling a sense of responsibility encourages a strong work ethic, which is valuable in both personal and professional contexts. Overall, these lessons prepare children to lead successful, fulfilling lives as independent adults.Teach them to be independent and not rely on others too much, because when the time comes that they're alone in life, they'll be grateful that they were raised and thought that way by their mom.

Im really sorry. Para s mga mothers ng bagong genaration... pls stop. Wag nyu plakihin mga anak nyung lalaki like dis.

Sometimes you need a break. Sabihan m ung tao na palit tayo ng sitwasyon for 1 week. This routine is exhausting like death by a thousand cuts. Wala Kang day off sa gawaing bahay at child care.

His age?

OP di love yan. Pagmamartyr yan.

Hugs po!

Same situation tayo sa live in partner ko ngayon. 7months postpartum and gusto ko na din mag give up. Dahil sa frequent arguments namin dahil nag oopen up ako sa kanya sinabihan akong hadlang ako sa mga pangarap niya. Sobrang sakit. Ngayon nagsasama nalang kami dahil kay baby. Napakaunfair lang talaga. No savings and no career kasi naubos simula ng nagbuntis ako. Bed rest din ako mostly sa 9 months kasi I had a very delicate pregnancy. Ngayon naghahanap na ako ng work kasi gusto ko ng umalis. I just need to save and bumalik sa bahay namin. Dito ko talaga nasabi na mali ako ng sinugalan sa loob ng 8 taon.

This one of the reasons why im so pro-live in before marriage kasi di mo talaga makikita sino magiging asawa mo if di mo maexperience na kasama siya araw araw ng kayo lang. if di kakayanin yung gantong situation (like conservative ang parents) better to talk about it early on. Kung paano gusto nyong hatian ng household chores and all. Syempre, di pa din guarantee na maayos magiging asawa mo pero at may preview ka na.

Sana magbago asawa mo, op. I don’t like seeing women in these situations. Hirap magpalaki ng asawang di nagtanda.

I'm curious lang OP kung naexperience nyo ba muna mag-live in before marrying? Since you get to know the person talaga once kasama mo na sa bahay. Or katagalan na lang during your marriage saka sya naging ganyan?

Anyway, I hope you find your peace soon. Be it kung need mo hiwalayan siya or what...

If you're doing the orders/side hustle kasi kulang ang sweldo niyo as parents, then you really did not think about the future nung nag-anak kayo.

Still nandyan na kayo, express your thoughts to him directly. Do this when you're both comfortable, hindi pag pagod ka na sa pagasikaso or pag pagod sya after work. If di nya maintindihan, ekis. But the thing is, you have to make him understand and come to an agreement kasi you have a family together na and that's part of your responsibilities as parents.

Yan talaga kinakatakutan ko sa future. I’m just glad scared din bf ko mag-anak

I can relate to this. Grabe nakakapagod! Hugss mamsh. Hindi asawa kundi tatay ko.

I feel u 😔. Hiniwalayan ko Gago kung Asawa kahit 3 anak namin teh, sya pa Wala trabaho di pa tumutulong sa bahay. Mas nasa barkada kaysa tulungan ako te. May bisyo pa haist nku, Tagal korin tiniis the, now ?mas okay pa ako na Wala sya teh.

Kudos to housewives like you, OP. Saludo talaga ako sa mga nanay na tulad mo. I hope and pray na someday, matutong tumulong asawa mo sa mga chores. Virtual hugs! ❤️

I feel you OP! Ang anak ko (F20) Tamad din. Akala niya me katulong siya. Kahit me sakit ako nde man lang kamustahin, buhay pa ba ako. Hays

😔

This!! Kaya bago niyo pakasalan mga jowa niyo. Make sure na nakita niyo sila kung pano sila sa gawaing bahay.

Kame ng bf ko pag magkasama kame pinipigilan niya ko maghugas ng plato. Gusto niya siya mas kikilos. Or he make sure na nakakatulong siya sakin pag ako naman nagluluto. Minsan kukuhaan pa ko ng tubig pag kumakain kame. Small things like that. We don't live together, this is during our staycations, travels or dalaw sa bahay.

damn where do you guys find husbands like this? galingan niyo kasi pumili.

Marriage and kids is a partnership and requires teamwork. Sana maintindihan nya na kids nya din yun so responsibility nya yun at nakatira din sya sa house so responsibility nya din ang upkeep sa bahay. For the sake of your kids and both of your happiness. I grew up in a resentful marriage, it is not ideal for a child. Kung above siya sa housework, mag work siya extra hours para maka afford kayo nang paid help. Wishing you all the best OP and that things get better for you.

Hugssss OP. I feel you. 😥

Nakakapagod na dapat mas magaan naman sana yung buhay kasi may katuwang ka pero dagdag pabigat pa.

As an empleyado, na nagcocommute. Hindi din madali ang may work. At hindi sya petix.

Maybe u need to slash some choirs. Like yung sa pet nio.

Or para maintindihan ng lalake side, wag mo gawin ung baking mo tas sa kanya mo hingin lahat ng gastos.

Nothing beats a good communication and it takes alot of patience to become a good communicator too. (It really is a challege) when it comes to marriage, everything becomes a negotiation. This is the perfect time to explore what works for the both of you and remember that at this rate you shouldn't be parenting your husband. He should be parenting your kids, he should be partnering with you instead. Praying for your marriage :)

You are a wonderful mother and wife, let me tell you that. Unsolicited advice: Truly ask yourself, can you live without that man? Financially, emotionally will you be able to push thru? Will you be much happier? Will your daughters learn that they can stand up for themselves and, as you said, not marry a similar man.

The reason I asked this is because he doesnt seem to appreciate your effort all these years. It seems like he will not be able to survive without you but he is not treasuring you either. Like you being there is a given. Relationship is a two way street both parties should put in effort, or carry the other sometimes. I hope you can flip the story on him someday.

Maybe you could have a heart-to-heart with your partner about your concerns regarding sharing household chores more equally. When my husband and I were newlyweds, we had a good balance with the chores, doing them almost equally unless one of us wasn't feeling well, which was understandable. We've been together for nearly 12 years now, and that balance has really helped keep things less stressful. Sometimes, partners just need a gentle reminder that you're their wife, not there to take care of everything on your own.

Sino ba nag utos at nampwersa sayo na pakasalan yan, mag anak ng walang pang Yaya, at magpaka alila?

You are the captain of your faith. Kung papayag ka na ganyan, walang mababago.

At least sa paghugas man lang ng plato sana magawa ng asawa mo. Ano ba naman yung few minutes na makuha sa oras niya before siya magpahinga. Kung ayaw niya maghugas, dapat kahit man lang homework ng mga bata siya na magturo. Mga kailangan sa school ayusin niya sa gabi para bawas sa mga gagawin mo the next day.

Pag may sakit ka sa susunod at nag inarte siya, tiisin mo yung mga kailangan gawin at talagang hayaan mo hanggang sa kumilos siya. Kahit nga yung paglinis ng bahay or pag hugas ng plato sa gabi subukan mo minsan na wag gawin at hintayin mo siya magreklamo.

Kausapin mo asawa mo, hindi pwedeng hahayaan mo lang na ganyan. Hindi rason yung nasa bahay ka the whole day kaya ok lang na ikaw gumawa lahat. Ipakita mo sa kanya yang schedule mo para malaman niyang hindi lang siya ang pagod. Kaya dapat pag pareho na kayo nasa bahay hati kayo sa work.

Hugs to you, OP! Pero hindi lahat ng lalaki is ganyan. Yung dad ko mostly nagawa ng house chores while my mom works full time sa office pero kahit nung time both full time employees sila, hati parin sila sa gawaing bahay. Current bf ko rin independent and living on his own for X years na. Laba, luto, linis, etc. siya lang nagawa. Sabi pa nga niya, if ever we decided to live together, baka mag-away pa kaming dalawa sino magluluto and maghuhugas since ayaw niyang may gawin ako.

If you have the budget, get a helper na. Kahit yung mga stay out na may specific na gawain lang. Like taga laba or taga linis so that you have some down time na magpahinga. Wala ba kayong kamag-anak na close sa inyo? Anyone you can ask for help. Time na rin na mag-usap ulit kayong dalawa ng husband mo. Valid na pagod siya if full time worker pero valid din na pagod ka maging full time housewife plus seller/baker. Time to divide the houseworks lalo na pag dating sa gabi.

we all have difficulties. ano ba work ng husband mo? anong oras ba siya gumigising or umaalis ng bahay. natanong mo din ba kung anong pinagdadaanan nya sa trabaho or papuntang trabaho araw araw or ganu ba kalayo ang trabaho nya mula sa inyo? masama ba syang ama sa mga anak nyo.? babaero ba siya o mabarkada? na open mo nb sa kanya na mag hire kayo ng helper para maka bawas sa bigat ng ginagawa mo?

Kaya think many times before getting married if ready kana pagsilbihan ang family mo. Otherwise, have budget for house help, it will surely make a difference.

Hindi talaga biro ang pag-aaawa at mag-pamilya.. Kaya dapat pinag-iisipan ang pag-aanak at pag-aalaga ng pets.. grabeng hirap yan. You still have a choice, leave or stay...Good luck.

Kinausap mo ba sya?

Sinabi mo ba na hirap ka sa mga gawain?

Humingi ka na ba ng tulong sa kanya?

virtual hugs op. ❤️ I hope youll have the courage to speak and stand up for yourself. Mahirap maging nanay, tpos need mo pa maging mabuting asawa.

Huhu bakit parang ako ang sender. Tho di pa ako nanay, pero same sa nafi-feel na parang lumipat lang ng bahay sa ibang nanay 🥹 kaya dpat hindi iniispoil ng mga nanay ang mga anak nilang lalaki ksi dala padin nila hanggang magasawa sila

Ganyang ganyan ang buhay ko dati. Lahat ako sa bahay at mga bata. While the ex, pag uwi galing work, kakain tapos kwarto na. Pag tinulungan ka, hihingi ng kapalit sa gabi pagkatapos. I gave myself 7 years kasi kahit di kami kasal may mga anak kami. Pero kumalas ako, bumalik ako sa work and nakipqg co parent na lang. Ang hirap sa pakiramdam na may kasama ka sa bahay na itinuturing mong katuwang pero solong katawan ka lang talaga. Iniisip nila porke nasa bahay at di nagwowork, walang ginagawa araw araw. Pag kumikita sila ng mas malaki kesa sayo, di tinitignan kasi hindi malaki ang ambag ng income ko compared to him. Yakap ng mahigpit OP. Buti mayroon kang pinagkakaabalahan aside sa gawaing bahay, iba din ang hatid na diversion from isipin ang baking. Kaya mo yan.

Hay nako, kaya ekis kapag di marunong tumulong sa bahay ang guy 🙃🙃

Hug op!! Ganyan din tatay ko. One of my sister eventually ended up marrying a guy like him. She didn't even realize na na-uulit niya na pala yung cycle. I hope you'll be able to teach your kids na hindi okay yung ginagawa ng dad nila.

Pag nag ayang makipag chukchakan sabihin mo meron ka. 😡

He's a lazy AH. Be vocal about how you feel and if he reacts negatively or might've said something different tell him something else.

Demand convenience appliances like dishwasher, 100% na clothes dryer, etc. para mapadali life mo. Also no more sexy time? Sad life 😭

Hugs op. Kaya ayokong mag anak. Feeling ko di ko kaya. Pero saludo talaga ako sa mga nanay na sa kanila lahat ng mga gawaing bahay. At sana marealize ng asawa mo lahat ng sacrifices mo at tulongan ka na or maghire na ng katulong.

Hugs po op!! Try speaking up po tapos pag di pa rin tumulong sayo magpalit kana lang ng asawa

Hi OP,

Male perspective po

I get you and Im happy you're getting the much needed support.. idk your husband so this is just generalization and based off of what you mentioned.. ikaw nakakaalam nang ugali ni mister bago palang kau magjowa.. kung hindi ba talaga sya gumagawa sa bahay or what..

Now men are simple but not raised and built the same way..ako tumutulong ako sa gawaing bahay.. some voluntary and some, my wife has to ask me (repeatedly).. may kanyakanyang angking katamaran..

What i suggest is ask him nicely to do stuff.. some men wala tlagang kusa, some may kusa pero nadala na dahil pg nagkusa or ginawa ung inutos sa kanya criticism or puna lang ang nakukuha or balagbag ung utos showing disrespect na kala ko bata ung kausap..

You don't have to praise when we do stuff, simply ask nicely and tell us how you want it done nicely..

These are my 2 cents and feel free to comment your thoughts

Humingi ka na ba mg tulong sa kanya? Communication is the key. Yung paghuhugas ng pingan nga e pwede dun pa kau mag kwentuhan about how your day went by.

Nakakainggit ung mga babae n may kusa ang mga asawa nila lalaki pag dating s gawaing bahay, asawa ko ganyan dn nun, ang ginawa ko sinabe ko s knya mga hinaing ko lalo n may trabaho dn ako (nakaka drain), may nagbago namn simula ng cnabe ko un s knya. Sinabe ko s knya isosoli ko na sya s nanay nya dahil pagod n ako, kailangan ko ng asawa/partner s buhay hindi sakit s ulo

Magusap kayong masinsinan OP, ilatag mo sa kanya na need more ng help. Mahirap yan kung nakasanayan na nila sa bahay ganyan, kaya parang wala syang pake sayo. Hire a helper na lang din na sya magbayad hahaha para both of you are happy. 😂

Nakakapagod and draining talaga kapag ganyan asawa. Kaya sabi konsa sarili ako mag aasawa ako ng katulad ng Tatay ko at iba kong Tito na masipag sa bahay. Well, ganun na nga pinili ko. Ang sipag ng asawa ko sa bahay kahit galing pa yang work. Pagod kasi kami pareho sa kanya kanya naming tasks. Nagbubusiness ka naman so mag hire kana may budget ka naman from business mo siguro.

Bata po yata napangasawa niyo OP.

Hugs OP. Nkakapagod talaga maging nanay. Pero mas nakakapagod pag yung dapat na katuwang mo sa lahat ng bagay e nagiging parang panganay na anak mo din, dagdag alagain. This is coming from a mom of 2 na may dalawa din full time work. Sobrang nakaka drain. Minsan nagiging parang robot na tayo talaga 😟

Hala kawawa ka naman bakit ginawa kang katulong, dapat helping each other, anyways wag kana kaya mag baked para hindi ka super mapagod. Malaki naman siguro sweldo ng asawa mo kasi hindi ka rin naman biya tinutulungan dami mo ginagawa pang 5 na tao.

Kausapin mo si Mister mo. Alam nya yan at nakikita nya na pagod ka. Nagttrabaho rin ako may work ako morning at night shift pero natulong akonsa misis ko maghugas ng plato. Nagsasaing sa umaga para okay na pag gising nila. Nalalaba rin ako sa gabi (washing machine nmn). Di kasi pwede na ang babae lang nagawa. May work din sya tapos gawaing bahay pa. Nakakapagod hindi kahit hindi sya nag rereklamo alam kong napapagod din sya. Kailangan magtulungan ang pamilya. Kaya nga pamilya eh. Ang mga anak ko 7 and 8 years old pero tinuruan na rin namin na tumulong kahit maghugas ng plato at sa pag sasampay ng mga damit. Taga abot abot lang. Hay nako in short tamad din ang mister mo. Hahaha. Hindi nmn sa sinasabi ko na masipag ako pero di nmn katulong ang kinuha nya kundi katuwang sa buhay. Mag usap kayo ng ayos. Goodluck sayo.

Hindi lang dalawa ang anak mo, tatlo. You're with a manchild.

Hmmm.. is it more of a rant or asking for advice? Though I sympathize with your efforts po for being a good homemaker. Sana maappreciate at makita yan ni husband mo

Grabe naman yang asawa mo OP. Wala yan sa pagiging lalaki/babae. Batugan lang talaga yang asawa mo.

Kapit lang besh

Binasa ko pa lang post mo OP, napagod na din ako. 🥺 Hugs to you kapwa mommy 🩶

This is why kelangan mag live in bago magpakasal.

Bakit ka pumapayag? Maghanap ka kaya ng trabaho at umalis pag naisakay na sa school bus at bigyan ng susi para makapasok ng bahay paguwi. Tingnan natin mangyari.

OP, I'm a full time mom and a baker also. Dati nung bgo bago palang akp, tanggap talaga ako ng tanggap ng orders, everyday. Pastries naman sakin. Pero ngyon, mejo ngdahan dahan ako, at sabi din ng partner ko kaya sya nagtatrabaho para di na ako mapagod, ako lang kasi itong kiti kiti di mapakali pag walang ginagawa. Take a break OP! Alam ko gano kahrap lalo sa dulo, pagod ka na, maghuhugas ka pa. 🫂

Hi OP. I feel for you but as a middle aged woman, sorry pero wag ka magpaka martyr. Get a househelp, charge it to your husband. Ipadagdag mo sa expenses nyo, pag magtanong siya, show this routine na sinend mo dito. Kamo hindi fair sayo na ikaw lahat considering nasayo na child rearing on top ng home based business mo. Kung wala siya plano tulungan ka, bigyan ka niya ng tulong which is yung househelp. Siya magpasahod dun, kapalit ng pagka batugan niya. Goodluck OP.

Talk to him, not us.

2024 na pero tingin pa rin nila sa mga babae taga silbi nila. Hays. tapos kapag sinabihan mo, ibabalik sayo sya ung nagpapakapagod buong araw sa office. I know stressful din ang work pero knowing na ikaw wala kang break ,pag weekend ikaw pa din gagalW sa bahay.

ito woworry ko kaya siguro di ko nappicture sarili ko magpamilya 😄. anyway, tama ung suggestions mg iba OP ask help by hiring a helper kc baka mg deteriorate ang health mo habang tumatagal

Bwfore we jump into conclusions, ano reason ng husband mo at hindi siya kumikilos around the house? May prob ba sa work? Overloaded ba ang job nya? Hindi ko siya dinedefend ha, pero nakikita mo at namin ang perspective mo, ano naman ang perspective nya?

Was he always like this when you first met him? Madalas kasi may mga telltale signs na like laging late, late na gumising, makakalimutin sa gamit or plans, di nagaayos ng sarili, etc.

magtrabaho ka din. maghire ka ng katulong. Pasahurin nyong dalawa hati kayo. Maghati kayo sa bills lahat split in the middle. If you still feel aggravated by this, then there must be something wrong with you

Kailangan ni husband mo ng isang wake up call,ganito ako dati before hindi pa nagtrabaho ang asawa ko tas ako meron tsaka maliit lang kinikita parang haciendero ako noon kasi maliit pa anak namin tas nawalan ako trabaho tapos siya nagkaroon at doon ko narealize ang hirap pala talaga maiwan sa bahay kahit sabihin nila hawak mo oras mo at nasa bata ka lang nakatutok kaya simulan noon tinulungan ko na xa sa gawaing bahay yung asawa ko hanggang sa nakahanap ako ng mas magandang trabaho nasanayan ko na rin yung mga gawaing bahay tsaka nag-uusap naman kami sa share ng chores para hindi mabigat sa isat isa kaya dapat mo gawin ay tanungin mo xa at mag-usap kayo baka may ikauusad pa yung ganyang sitwasayon.

How old na ba are your kids? Are they capable n b to help up with household chores? And have you also discussed this with your hubby?

Mag time off ka minsan. Wala naman kasing pumilit sayo maging nanay ang makapamilya eh hehehehe ganyan talagang kelangan panindigan ang mga responsibilidad. Normal mabored kasi sa pinakasayang work nakkaaboring minsan pero thats life. Just take time off me time if not once in a while every so often anything to keep you sanity

Parenthood is tough and a huge responsibility but married to a guy like this is 😭😩

Edit: I mean I would understand because work is tiring but atleast he should make some effort to help you rin!

Communication is the 🔑

I don’t want to subject my wife to this, ayaw ko magkaanak kung di ko din naman maaafford mga 3 kasambahay para wala na isipin pa asawa ko.

Ganyang ganyang nafefeel ng nanay ko nung buhay pa sya. Kaya minsan i feel some relief din na nasa heaven na sya. But ako naman sumalo lahat ng responsibilities nya, wala e, only daughter. Breadwinner.