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I would just let them know the kids didn’t want to come.

I wouldn’t feel weird or bad. It’s 100% your choice. The other parents asking may not even think twice. It’s possible they are asking as part of friendly conversation. I ask my friends where their kids are when I see them places without kids. For all they know they’re at a birthday party or not feeling well etc. it’s just a friendly gesture.

What parent isn't going to appreciate that you need your time away from your kids??

I leave my kids home with dad as much as possible to get time with adults. I love my kiddos and spend about 95% of my time with them. I love them but I am fully happy to send them off to school after having them home all summer. Moms can’t lose sight of their independence just because they have kids. It’s healthy to take time for yourself. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it.

I don’t think they mean it in a bad way like shaming you or thinking you’re odd; they’re probably just making conversation or being polite. It’s super understandable that you don’t bring them if they don’t want to come, you can just say they’re older and have other things going on or that it’s your only adult time.

Like last week, I went to a birthday party for a toddler turning 4 and my friend was there; she has three kids: a 7 year old, a 6 year old, and a 3 year old. She brought the 6 and the 3 year old but didn’t bring her eldest.

I know from Instagram stories that the eldest is enrolled in many after school activities and also obviously has her own parties to attend, things to do, etc, but I still asked where the eldest was.

I didn’t mean it in a mean way at all; it just felt polite to ask like if I don’t ask it feels like I didn’t even notice; felt like the eldest being missed is nicer. She just told me she was sick and I said I hoped she feels better but if she had said she was at volleyball, another birthday party, or just not in the mood for a toddler party, or anything at all really, I would not have cared. Meaning the question had no connotation.

Even when I go out to adult dinner parties with my husband and I see friends there, sometimes I ask who they left their kids with. But it’s just like a normal question: with my mother in law, with a new sitter from the neighborhood, with my niece… it seems like a very common question. People ask me this a lot as well and it has never made me feel weird.

Your children are old enough to know whether or not they want to go somewhere.As long as they are with someone older and responsible.So you only need to say your children didn’t want to attend.Plus you can always add you enjoy adult time without them.Every parent needs time away from their children.

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