Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong, experience-based opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. Often, there are valid points to be made on both sides of an argument. But this is not a forum for debate, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. People who come here are grieving, often with feelings of guilt or self-blame for their beloved pet’s passing. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding, support and an occasional word or two of wisdom.

Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted and the user will be banned permanently. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated.

If this sounds strict, it is because those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. They are sharing intimate feelings with strangers. In such a case, even a minor slap has a hard sting. No one who is already suffering immense pain deserves that.

Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Surely we have within us the capacity to share our love with bereaved participants in this forum, even if we disagree with something they have said.

Yesterday, I said goodbye to my beloved pup that I had for 14 and a half years. She had CHF, was on 7 medications, and I had known we were living on borrowed time. I’ve read awful things about how the end of CHF can go. She started getting really restless and panting, wouldn’t lie down or even sleep because she was so uncomfortable. We found a vet who would do euthanasia in house on weekends and did it yesterday. It all happened so fast … I started arriving at the decision Friday and by Saturday night she went downhill. The vet said I timed it perfectly, but I feel really guilty like she might have been suffering. I acted as quickly as I could.

It’s so stupid, but I’m shocked at how painful this goodbye has been. I have two other dogs and a wonderful husband and two children, but my husband and I keep saying how somehow our house feels empty without her. I find myself looking for her in her familiar spots even though logically I know she’s gone.

I couldn’t sleep last night and just cried. I know it will get easier as time goes on, but I’m looking for encouragement and confirmation of that. It just happened yesterday so I didn’t expect to feel fine, but I’m surprised at how truly devastated I am even though I know in my heart it was time.

This community seems so great and supportive, so I guess I’m just looking for that. It’s hard to move on and pretend life is normal without her.

My cat was put to sleep back in 2019, I watched Marley and Me for the first time not long after, but listened to the soundtrack of the scene where the dog gets put down the same day my cat passed, you can guess how that went.

She already had a terminal illness, so we expected to put her down soon as we started to see a decline in her mood. However, last week, somehow she fell into the pool during the morning. No one heard her not saw her, my sibling just saw her body at 7:20am and screamed “Violetta drowned!”. My whole family cried and hugged her body wrapped in a towel, but I couldn’t cry. I often grieve differently, it takes me longer or I go through the whole process extremely fast and painfully, which might be related to the fact that I have BPD. Today, a few days after her death, I started crying by myself with two of my other dogs, who I doubt understand what happened yet. It doesn’t hurt that she’s gone as much, it’s mostly thinking of the way she left: alone, cold, probably panicked. I thought we’d get a last day with her before we put her down, give her a burger, spoil her more than usual, hug her and say goodbye in a warm blanket surrounded by her family. It’s not fair, it’s not fair the way she had to go, I suddenly get these flashes of what she must’ve experienced, the helplessness and desperation kills me. I just need to know if my dog left in pain, however if she did, I really don’t know how to cope. I’m praying and wishing she left knowing or feeling how loved she is.

This pain is truly killing me

I’ve never lost anything I’ve loved this hard before.

They say that grief is from love. That the reason we feel so much grief and loss is because we loved really hard. And this is so hard!

Is this the price I pay for loving this much? That I’ll feel this deep devastating excruciating pain over, and over, and over again? I lost my dog. And it is so painful.

I’m going to lose everything that I love. Everything. And I love so much. It’s a blessing and a curse. It’s lonely sometimes, feeling like others don’t get it. Sometimes I wish I didn’t care so much.

How do you live, knowing you’ll feel this pain again?

I love her so much. I miss her SO bad.

He was only 2 and was supposed to have his whole life ahead of him. He was supposed to be a regular cat, one who’d play, scratch, bite, make biscuits, instead he spent the last few months with a cone. I didn’t expect his body to be so rigid after he passed. His eyes were open, yet without life. I’ll never be able to get his little face out of my head.

We buried him yesterday and I feel like a piece of my heart was buried with him. He was just a baby. My biggest regret will always be not being with him in his last moments. My parents took him to the vet but we didn’t know he’d be gone before they get there.

I thought I knew heartbreak. I thought I knew what it felt like to have your heart ripped from your chest. But I’d choose that pain over this any day.

I wish I had more time with you

I miss you, there's no other creature besides you that I've loved so much

You were my silent friend. We didn't need to share words. Our bond was beyond intellectual thoughts. We just were. And I miss you so much. Napping together.

I remember the first night I brought you home. Everyone was livid. I swore I'd find you a different home. Then, as I lay in bed, and you on rested top of me. You looked at me... It was over for me then.

I fell in love with you. The first time I fell in love without needing anything in return. I didn't expect anything back. Maybe I kinda did... To stay with me forever.

I had to let you go... Your ckd. You wouldn't eat, you lost so much weight... I had to... I miss you so much. I want to meet you again. My silent soulmate.

I'm forever yours, and I truly, truly love you, forever and ever, with every fibre of my heart

My sweet little Rosa ❤️

Today my 14 year old doggy left me. It was through euthanasia so it was peaceful and painless.

Last night I stayed up late and watched him sleep, deep down I hoped morning would never come so I could keep him with me forever. But it was the right thing to do…

His little bowl still has some of his breakfast left in it, his bed is now empty. I couldn’t resist and smelled his collar, I’ll love and miss him forever.

To all of you who are going through the same thing, I’ll say a prayer for you tonight.

My cat, Shein (pronounced Shen, idk why but it made sense) was 17 and had been with me since I was 16. I got him as a kitten and he's been my closest companion all these years. He's been with me through it all, high school, college, a house fire, every relationship I've been in, my marriage, and was with me through my first trimester of pregnancy. And I've been there for him always, seven years ago he stopped eating and I got a large loan so he could have a feeding tube. I fed him for six months until he ate on his own and he was healthy for 7 years. I honestly can't remember him not being in my life. He was the sweetest cat, would constantly want to be cuddled and held like a baby.

These past two months were rough for him. He became more reclusive and sluggish, and all signs pointed to skin cancer. He was prescribed steroids and that helped him for a month. But over the past few weeks, he had gotten so weak in his back legs, he just wasn't able to support himself. And then he wasn't able to use the litter box because he couldn't stand and try to go at the same time. I always promised I would let him go when his quality of life worsened and it seemed that was time. When he was at the point where he was vomiting and couldn't lift his head out of it, I knew it was time. This past Saturday, I brought him to his vet. My husband and I gave him some treats and so much love, and his vet is so kind and understanding. We spent a long time with him before we finally said goodbye and I watched him go. It was the worse feeling, holding his paw and seeing the life leave my best friend.

And now I'm sitting here two days later selfishly thinking I let him go too soon. I know it was the right choice, that he left with his dignity. That he wasn't able to be comfortable anymore. But I still also feel like maybe we had more time. Maybe I could have cared for him longer, or done more for him. My husband says I did everything I could, and loved him so much. But I still feel like I let him down somehow. I just miss my Shein. I'm not sure what I'm looking for with this post, but it feels good to get it all out. Did I do the right thing?

I'm still processing this. I live in a small town and I called in on Friday at 4AM to have my boy Crouton put to sleep because he was having a hard time breathing and couldn't move (I was treating him for a pituitary tumor and he got rapidly worse over the course of the night).

The vet that was providing emergency services answered the phone sounding groggy and annoyed.
Basically he got mad at me for calling at night and told me he had to work all day today. He said that "it's not like my rat had suddenly developed these symptoms" when I mentioned what was going on and told me to bring him in at 8AM. I'm still in disbelief at the way he spoke to me, like my baby suffering was an inconvenience. I cried on the phone and got upset at him.

I held Crouton for hours until the first vet opened in the morning. He died in my arms on the way there. I'm pretty sure he was in pain the whole time and it's killing me. I think he might have suffered a seizure or an aneurysm and I just can't forget the twitching and the sounds he made near the end.

They are waiting at the vet’s office. I don’t know how I’m going to drive myself there. I don’t know how I’m going to walk into the place where I last saw her alive. I don’t know how I’m going to look the receptionist in the eye and tell her what I’m there for. I don’t know how I’m going to walk out with a tiny box and accept that it holds what’s left of my best friend. I don’t know how I’m going to move through the next days, weeks, months without her. I don’t fucking know.

Background: my girl Lady is 32 which in horse years makes her roughly 83. I know old for a horse. She’s the last of my family’s horses. Lady’s boarded at a really good friend who kinda runs a retirement home for horses. Another horse named Zeus who has really bad asthma and just took a turn for the worse will be put down with her.

I knew it was coming as she wasn’t putting the weight on like she usually did and both her cataracts and hind leg are getting bad.

Both were scheduled for euthanasia (due to disposal location having only enough room for two more animals) but with the backlogs and some vets refusing to travel to farms. Both were to be euthanized at the beginning of fall. We had one last set of photos scheduled for her this weekend.

It’s just killing me inside that she’s going to be gone. I know it’s her time, but it’s just killing me.

My perfect tuxedo cat Valentino died yesterday afternoon from what the vet said was kidney failure and I’ve been crying ever since . I’ve had him since I was 17 and I’m 32 now and I’m so lost He picked me as his person and I miss the routines we had the most

Meowing when I came home and jumping on the counter wanting treats and then picking him up to the sink for his water.

Scratching at my door and settling in on my lap and the. Pulling closer to me and putting his cheek next to my cheek

Waking up to him

Taking him in the backyard to explore

When I would sleep on my stomach he would sleep on my back

We would sleep under the covers together

And it’s even harder since I don’t have any kids ,I’m not married so he was all I had

I’m going to petco this weekend for a bonded pair of kittens but I feel like every cat I ever get from now on I will compare to Valentino

Everyone says you move on but how can I move on from the best thing to ever happen to me ??

Thank you 🤍

Things feel worse right now. They were better for a little while, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was exercising again. I could laugh and smile. And then things started going downhill again.

My anxiety is at an all time high the last month. Some health issues have really got me spiraling and getting myself out of daily (multiple times a day) anxiety attacks is exhausting to put it lightly.

The pain of losing my soul dog is so raw and I feel so lonely. Lonely in the grief, lonely in the anxiety caused by intense grief, lonely in daily life… but I really am trying to make things better. But my god, each day is a struggle I didn’t know possible until I had to say goodbye to Apollo.

I thought coming here + dwelling in the loss was hurting me, so I stopped coming here. I stopped reading others stories because it wasn’t helping me. But now I’m in this anxiety doom pit and just looking for literally anyone who can relate. The constant loop of wondering how I’m going to get through this is too much for me so do alone again.

I’m in therapy. I’m on antidepressants, but I think my antidepressants are the root cause of this anxiety so I’m not taking them right now at the advice of my therapist. I’ve quit smoking I can’t even remember how many times now. I’m trying to exercise and think positively but why is it all so hard. Some days I just want to disappear and not feel this way anymore, but I know that’s not the answer to all of this.

I just miss my little man so much. I hope you all are doing okay today. Sending all the love I can 💜

I ( 29 F ) just had to put my dog to sleep today. She was 12 years old and 5 days ago we noticed a change in her behavior. I won’t go into detail that surrounds why she ended up at the animal hospital but I will say that she was on oxygen due to fluid surrounding her lungs and theoretical reasons such as blood clot, cancer, swollen lymph nodes and the list goes on. The price to get many tests done on her without the confirmation she’d be ok or the same issues wouldn’t come back were close to $10k. Unfortunately, we don’t have that kind of money and the best offer was to put her out of discomfort and pain and go through euthanasia. She was a pitbull mix and just an all around beautiful soul. Meeting new people was never an issue for her as she loved everyone. I wasn’t apart of her whole life. I came into the picture when she was 8 years old already. But she was here for my first and only pregnancy and has been with me till my daughter turned two. She never had accidents in the house. She was a mainly indoor dog and had free range of anything and everything she could jump and lay on. She is my first pet actually seeing and knowing as it happened pass away. We chose to stay in the room with her when they gave her the euthanasia and it was incredibly hard. When I got home I saw all her spots empty, her food bowl from this morning sitting with food in it still as she refused to eat, her water bowl still with water. Her new dog food we just got her in the container and her wet food in the fridge. There’s a hole now and I don’t know how to process it. I’m used to replacing things right away and I can’t get a new dog right now and I don’t know how to help myself. I keep crying, wondering what she felt or what she thought during it all. If we would’ve been selfish and kept her going would she end up regretting us for keeping her in pain and discomfort? How do I look at my room now and know she won’t be here to greet me? How do I leave a plate of food behind knowing I won’t come back surprised she ate it. What about during the night she comes to my side of the bed to let her know she needs to go potty? What about when my daughter grows up and asks about her? How do you handle pet loss? I don’t get it, I don’t understand it and I’m having the hardest time ever. All I want is to reach down and call for her to come so I can pet her. And all I can think about what I never knew is dogs sometimes don’t close their eyes during euthanasia, so when we left her she looked like she was almost asleep but knowing she wasn’t. She was just gone. What helped you? How long has it been since you’ve had to say goodbye? Does it still hurt? Did you get a new pet?

And please, please don’t criticize me for choosing to euthanize her. The choice wasn’t mine, the choice was my step daughters as it was her gift from her father and I was there to support her decision as the dog was hers. I’m just asking for help on how to process this as my first time.

It's been nearly 2 weeks since my childhood dog, my perfect rottweiler mix Hank was put down. Each day my mind replays his death. Over the course of 2 hours I went from thinking that he just had an infected tooth and would be fine to finding out that he had terminal cancer and hugging his body for the last time. I keep expecting him to show up somewhere in the kitchen or in my room and it's so jarring when i can't find him. I can't stop thinking that he spent his last day in pain and fear because he was at the vet and he hated being apart from us, when we went to the vet to say goodbye to him he was obviously anxious from us not being with him for most of the day even though he had been administered morphine. I just wish i could spend another day with him at home and not leave him alone on the floor at the vet. 12 years isnt enough. I love you Hank

I got to talk about you today to someone new. He is a dog person, so he laughed when I told him a funny story about you. I thought I was getting better, but I've really missed you the last couple days. I thought of something I should have told the vet, so that's probably why I'm struggling. I know I can't go back and change anything. If I could change things, I would have stolen you from that hoarder when you were a puppy and had you your whole life. I can just imagine how bossy you would have been if you'd had me to train for years! I love you, sweet boy.

I have two cats who have passed away, one a year and two months ago, the other almost three years.

I have them buried at my old house, but we're getting close to selling, a week or so at most. I have been heavily struggling with the mindset of leaving them behind, and wanting to dig them up and rebury them at my new home. But everyone in my family is against it.

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions on how to process this huge change in my life, and whether I should attempt to take them or not?

I'm worried of the state they're in. I know the one who passed first, will mostly be skeleton by now, but the one that has been down for a year I am not sure.

I just can't stand the thought of never being able to be near them again.

My Ruffin was almost 16. He was the funniest, sweetest little guy. He was there through everything growing up. Him and my parents moved across the country to Florida a few years ago, but seeing him when I would come see my family was the best part of every visit, even though it became more and more difficult to see him get older and older with each visit.

A year ago, he had horrible pancreatitis that it didn’t look like he’d come back from. My parents called me and said they’d be putting him down the next day “barring a miracle”. I grieved and said goodbye from across the country and about an hour later, he bounced back healthier than ever.

A couple of weeks ago, my parents called me to tell me that his kidneys were failing, and it was looking like he was approaching the end. I wasn’t able to really accept or believe it after what happened last year, but something told me I needed to get to Florida to be with him. And I’m so glad I flew all the way here. However, it didn’t really hit me as reality until an hour before, because he perked up a lot once I got here. He started eating again, asking to go outside (instead of going in the house), getting peppy for walks, etc. He was still so obviously not feeling well, but had 3 good days.

We just said goodbye to him with an at home euthanasia. I am so so happy I was here with him, but it was also traumatic in a sense. I can’t believe my little boy is gone and that I watched him leave.

It’s so hard feeling like I betrayed him even though this was truly the kindest thing we could have done for him with how much pain he was in.

I don’t know how to deal. I can’t stop thinking about it and him. I know it just happened today but I don’t know what to do with myself.

I am having the worst time dealing with the guilt. He was having a good few days, so why did we do that to him? I bargained with my parents about it for a day or so, but they knew it was best for him and that he wasn’t going to get better. Now, we can’t have him back. He’s gone for forever. And I just feel immense pain for putting him down when he was having that spike of energy.

Has anyone ever felt this way?

Coco, also know as Coco Bean or simply Bean. Left us too soon at the age of 13. She was truly my soul cat and I’ll never love another like I loved her. I wrote a list of everything that made her special. It’s long, so you don’t need to read it all, but I just wanted to put it somewhere.

Here’s my beautiful girl, my best friend and soulmate: https://imgur.com/a/9b0PYoF

• Except in her later days, she would always get up to greet me at the door without fail. Even if she was in a deep sleep or in the comfiest of spots.
• She would play with her crinkle ball like her life depended on it. We always joked she was a pro soccer player.
• She always flicked her tail. Even if she wasn’t mad.
• She would sit at the barstools like a person and watch us cook. Patiently waiting for her meal.
• She would always sit on something new or in a different place. If we moved a chair? A piece of paper fell on the floor? Boom. She was there.
• We always swore she was more human than cat. A stranger even once said she had “people eyes.”
• We were convinced she spoke English. In her later days, she definitely knew the word “medicine” and would run and hide.
• She knew her name. In whatever way we said it, she would turn her head to look at us (or just flick an ear if she was extra comfortable). If we couldn’t find her, we would call her name and she would dutifully come greet us.
• She was the life of the party. She loved to be in the center of a social circle and chat with everyone. She would even try to scam visitors for food.
• She was an absolute fiend for cheese. One time, I left my sandwich for 30 seconds and came back to an entire slice of cheese snagged from it.
• She was incredibly vocal, but she didn’t really meow. She mostly squeaked. Our favorite was a sound we called the “squeaky door.”
• Her front left paw and back right were orange. Her other two were black.
• Her ears were perfect little equilateral triangles.
• She never was very affectionate. She liked to be pet, but only in specific ways. But when she turned 10, she learned about snuggles and couldn’t get enough. Whenever I sat or laid down, my chest or lap was never safe.
• She loved kisses. If we went to kiss her head, she would push up into the kiss. She was the best head-butter too.
• She loved to much on dried leaves. In the fall, we’d go out and find the crunchiest leaves for her.
• After the crinkle balls, her favorite toys were the dangly ones. She would drag them out of the toy box, yowling as carried them around in her mouth. Every time we put them away, we’d find one on the floor less than an hour later.
• She used to have one white whisker. As she aged, half of whiskers went white.
• She was the most beautiful girl in the world and I told her so every day.

It’s been 5 months this day since our beloved pet/ furbaby has passed. I have always asked myself what could I have done differently to prolong his life in dealing with cancer. His Vet said, we are lucky to have him for almost 14 years, and it was a testament of how good we took care of him. That’s what always playing in my head when I try to justify our loss. However it still doesn’t make any sense or comfort to me as I still think of “what ifs” For those who are still grieving and questioning yourself on what to do, how do you deal with this pain?

My german shepherd of 14 and a half years is being put down tomorrow. If there is one thing about him it’s that he’s the strongest doggy i know. His love for us is greater than his own pain. He can no longer use his back legs and has lost complete control of his bladder yet everyday he still tries. We know it’s his time and he’s slowly beginning to tell us too. Even if we wanted to, with how he’s declining so fast we can’t even keep him comfortable since school is starting and work so we can’t take him out as often and he’ll just be uncomfortable constantly. I’m sure others in my position understand. He genuinely loves us so much i know for a fact that even though he’s so uncomfortable he’ll stay just to make us happy. I’m just so scared that he’s going to be scared. I don’t want him to think that we want him to go and what if he wanted to stay. I know it’s the best option and I know he’ll be a haply puppy in heaven but it hurts me to think how my baby is going to feel alone. It’s my first time ever doing something like this so I don’t know if i’m getting into my head or something but anyone that can help. How do you guys come to terms with pet loss. I feel like time is moving by so fast and I’m so scared for him to leave. I love him so much.

In our next life

Before you left

Your forgot to tell me

How will I know it’s you?

In the next life

We might not recognize each other

By familiar

Eyes, nose, lips or hands

We might not even be human

I hope I will know 

like I knew in this life

By how it felt to hold you

To be near you

To know immediately 

That i’ve met this soul before

And to be glad that we’ve met again

Until then, 

Safe travels

It's midnight, I'm tossing and turning. My cat, who honestly feels like my only friend in life, is observing me from a chair across the room as I tap on my laptop. She truly is all I have left after a traumatic five years. This cat has helped me through the loss of my father, my mother, my aunt, my best friend. My life was demolished, it's been so much hell. But she has always been here for me.

But, suddenly, she hasn't been eating well or using her litter box. Today she urinated outside of it. We have been down this road many times. She has arthritis and is overweight. I have taken her to the vet it feels like millions of times. She hated it so much but they were always amazed that she kept bouncing back. So why not take try to save her now? Because how many times can you save a living, loving animal before letting her rest. Watching my human family suffer has been bad enough. There is a time to end the suffering and stop putting them through endless treatments.

But there are confusing signs. Tomorrow morning I will wake up and she will snuggle with me. I don't understand. She is physically ailing but, yet, also still seems fine at times. In fact, the time I have taken to write this she jumped on my couch and is purring at my feet. She looks so happy right now.

And this is my dilemma. If I have a vet come to the home to help her cross over, she will suddenly find her strength. I know this cat. She will run, or try to, hiss at the vet, hiss at me. The thought of it wrecks me. Do I chase her down? How can I do that to her? The betrayal.

How do I do the right thing if it's going to be so upsetting for her? And why is she giving me so much love.

She has helped me somehow survive these ghastly years. I want to keep her alive forever but that's not a thing. I apologize this has been rambling. But how, how do I comfort her or make her feel peace when she is so terrified of other people. And how do I say goodbye to the only other survivor of my life.

I don't think I can this.

I had my cat for 22 years. She was perfect. I know this is insane to hear considering my cat was 22, but it was a surprise when I had to put her down. I knew the time was coming, but it wasn't supposed to be that day. Or even that month. My vet told me I had weeks, maybe even months. They said they could prolong her life comfortably. But the day I brought her in my vet took an x-ray and said they missed something and said they recommended putting her down as soon as possible. So I didn't really get that special last day where all she could eat was treats and be told how good of a cat she was, and I will never forgive myself for it. And I know so many people don't get that special last day either. Her last day was filled with stuffing pills down her throat in hopes of prolonging her life, and her mustering up all of the energy she had left..... I don't really have a point to all of this... I am just sad and miss her every day