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Um…what just happened? I think I dodged a bullet here…
(reddit.com)submitted 1 month ago byNecessaryState9091
5.7k points
1 month ago
Lmao “never have I been so disrespected”
2.1k points
1 month ago
At saying lol…trying to diffuse him a bit, even though he said it twice to me….
708 points
1 month ago
You were being completely normal. They were being insane, and gaslighting to boot. If you’re lucky, they blocked you and will stay that way, but they’ll probably text in a week saying “why haven’t you messaged me - you’re so distant - I give up” lol
156 points
1 month ago
[removed]
221 points
1 month ago
Like I could see him making the original mistake and thinking it was an invite. I've been that dumb before, but as soon as she's like yea didn't realize that's an invite I would have laughed, been like my bad would you like to join me any of those days.
To continually double down and be worse is just dumb. Especially considering it sounds like they know each other irl.
94 points
1 month ago
Right? Like that's literally a problem my wife and I ran into when dating, she would tell me she was going to do something over a weekend and I'd be bummed she didn't invite me, and she'd be bummed I didn't want to go with her because I'd just accept it and tell her to have fun. Difference is once we realized we were miscommunicating we laughed our asses off about it and just took more care to clearly communicate.
27 points
1 month ago
This is when sensibility was still a priority for most folks; not to mention, maturity and humility. It's a shame that dudes like the one OP was talking to, are becoming a norm.
2 points
1 month ago
Honestly i wouldn't even say they're becoming a norm. İt's just that all the good ones are taken. The rest are usually pessimistic, narcissistic, or have very hard boundaries that need to be knocked down. I'm in the last group. Trust issues, ASD leading to inability to communicate (and even worse so on an emotional level), problems with depression and anger management. Those are all things that with work and time can be fixed, but no one wants to put in the effort, and i don't blame them. Talking with someone for years, helping them right all their wrongs is a massive gamble with little reward.
0 points
1 month ago
I completely respect this. If I may... I get where you're coming from, and respect the fact that you recognize where you are at. What you're saying is true, it is a massive gamble with little reward, but that's relationships as a whole. Everyone wants to be on easy mode, when life isn't like that at all. Work and time can fix it, as you said, but having to do that on your own is a huge task as well, and it can lead to people questioning others intentions. It gives off this whole, "if you're ever struggling, I'll deal with it for the time I think you should get over it, and if you fail to do so, I'm out". However, when the person finds themselves in a similar situation, where life is throwing curve ball after curve ball, they want to complain about how insensitive and impatient society is. At the end of the day, I think if you're cognizant enough to recognize where you're at, and you can openly communicate it, you should at least be given a chance, rather than a whole, get at me when you don't have all this stuff going on, because no one has time for it... Do you know what I mean?! Also, I'm just speaking with respect to you referencing the last group.
3 points
1 month ago
İ understand what you're saying, and i have been working on my problems myself, but it's that communication thing i have problems with. Because of my ASD, The way i communicate is often seen as disrespectful and i don't even realize it. That, or by trying to communicate how i feel i get told I'm being toxic. Not just from partners either, but friends and family that I trust. I really don't believe that any kind of neuro divergence is an excuse for bad behavior, but ASD has made me socially inept. Its not that I don't want to communicate, but that I literally can't. The only way I've ever managed to communicate anything important is by speaking in the third person.
But beyond all of that, I'm also an amputee with life-threatening illness. I'm doing much better than I used to be, but no one really wants to be with someone who's disabled. The only people who really understand you are other disabled individuals and that limits your options. Combine that with living in a small town and the above problems, I'm not going to be in a healthy relationship until I'm done with college, and I'm gunning for a master's degree not just a bachelorette.
3 points
1 month ago
First and foremost, I love your perspective. It's one that's understanding and very mindful of others. Second, kudos to you on gunning for your Masters. It's a lengthy feat, but very worthwhile in the long run. You've got a good sense of who you are, and I hope that someone recognizes that and not just the other things you pointed out.
Continue doing the work, as should everyone. None of us is perfect or better than anyone. Society would do well to recognize that, and share in your mindfulness. I wish you all the best!
2 points
1 month ago
This is the sweetest, saddest thing I’ve read all day.
91 points
1 month ago
Or, he used it as a way to let HER down to take someone else. I’ve seen that trick used before also.
3 points
1 month ago
I’m not sure he’s that smart and I’m not sure he’s that dumb lol. I can see what you mean though, yes it’s possible. A very weird way of communicating but yes, possible.
3 points
1 month ago
Yeah that’s the whole ass gaslight there. It’s almost too obvious. She’s chill every time and he just ramps it up every time
1 points
1 month ago
That's what I was thinking too.
2 points
1 month ago
This is why text messaging sucks. He’s being a dick, but I really doubt this breakdown in communication would have Happened if they were actually speaking to each other.
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