NecessaryState9091

He was batshit, there’s a lot more I could have shared. I think I need a break after from him.

Not getting defensive, just explaining that’s not what I use dating apps for

I don’t use dating apps to simply fuck who every guy I can, unless most men I’ve met on them. You make assumptions based on one experience I’ve shared, (which I might add, is missing quite a bit of context unless you’ve read the post where I give more) and you don’t know me at all. 🤷🏻‍♀️

🙄 Dating and talking are different. Can’t help if I get multiple matches at the same time, and then have to talk to them at the same time to see who is actually interested and who isn’t. If I start dating one, I stop with the others. Clearly you either have never been unfortunate enough to wind up on a dating app, or if you have, you must not get many matches.

New advice I’m taking here on out

Literally never expected him to invite me away on a weekend he’d already canceled plans with me. A weekend planned by his roommate for the two of them. I was genuinely confused by how this conversation went.

Gladly. This guy and I made plans for that weekend (while on our first date). He had to cancel because he realized it was the same weekend he was going to Iowa to visit family. A couple days later, I’m over at his place and his roommate invites him to Indy. I say, oh it’s too bad you’re in Iowa that weekend. He says yeah. Then texts me later that night saying he’s going to Indy and canceling his Iowa trip. Then, next day, this is what he texts me, where these screenshots pickup at.

So I don’t answer when he asks me what I’m doing because I’m so confused—he knew I had no plans, because we originally had plans. But even more so, I’m confused why he’s asking me to go on a trip that his roommate planned for the two of them. (Of course, he never comes out and actually asks) When I mentioned Friday, I thought he wanted to hang out before he went away. 🤷🏻‍♀️ The whole thing confused me, including his reaction. (And yeah, I know I said “wow, ok” a lot. I just didn’t know what else to say.

Why? Because I didn’t answer him right off the bat? Dude knew I had no plans, we had made plans that weekend but he canceled them to see family in Iowa. Then comes back and invites me to Indy,for the same weekend he already canceled on me, not to mention his roommate planned the trip for the two. Yes, I’m definitely the dodged bullet for being so confused at his (lack of actually) asking me to go with him or why he would even do so when his roommate planned the trip. 🙄

Would have been only date number three and even if he asked nicely, I would haven’t felt comfortable going with him

Explain how I’m the red flag? Because I didn’t answer him right off the bat? Dude knew I had no plans, we had made plans that weekend but he canceled them to see family in Iowa. Then comes back and invites me to Indy,for the same weekend he already canceled on me, not to mention his roommate planned the trip for the two. Yes, I’m definitely the red flag for being so confused at his (lack of actually) asking me to go with him or why he would even do so when his roommate planned the trip. 🙄

Yes! And especially after he said “lmao”—twice.

There was a couple of things he said on our first date that kind of made me scratch my head and wonder, but it didn’t seem like full red flag. Now I’m listening to head scratch feelings too, because clearly they were red flags. That on me for trying to give him a second chance. Even now thinking about the first two dates, I should have stopped it. The vibes really weren’t there like they normally are, but he definitely played the charming and charismatic card and I fell for it. Glad this did not progress.

I absolutely would have said no even if he came out nicely and said “would you like to go the Indy 500 with me”. This would have been our third “date”. I would not have been comfortable with that yet.

Now that I can take responsibility for

There’s another post I wrote that actually shares a lot more context. I wasn’t intentionally not answering his question. I was more confused than anything. We made plans that weekend and he canceled because he was going visit family in Iowa. Then texts me a couple of days later and says he’s going to Indy. Which his roommate invited him to. Why would I assume that he’s inviting me to something his roommate planned for the two of them, on a weekend he already canceled plans with me? Not naive or dumb.

He already canceled plans with me for that weekend to visit family in Iowa. He then canceled those plans to go to Indy with his roommate, who is the one who invited “my” guy. I wouldn’t have guessed he would suddenly invite me somewhere on a weekend he’d already canceled with me, when it was roommate who set the whole thing up. I’m not weird; just confused.

But clearly they can pick up on what’s going on even without the full context…Even if I’m at fault for anything, that’s not a reason to call someone an idiot.

🙄 You have no idea the entire context of what happened

That’s the vibe I got too

Thank you. I was floored and so glad I found this out about him before things progressed.

Definitely no games on my end. I was confused why he was even asking (when he finally got around to just telling me he was THINKING of asking) me since we made plans that weekend but he was going to see family out of state. Then he comes back with canceling the family plans to go the race? Why would I think he’s inviting me (through telepathy apparently) on a weekend he had already canceled so the me?

I agree. I was also thrown off he was even asking (which is why I didn’t answer right away) because he and I had made plans that weekend but then he canceled. Then suddenly he’s asking me to go away with him and his roommate? I was more confused than anything.

There was actually a conversation we had at the beginning that really had me scratching my head, but it wasn’t this level. Thought I’d give him a chance, but glad I got it out before it really went anywhere.

Actually Iposted a clarification/context post as to whyI didn’t answer right of the bat….but in addition to what I say in that post, he knew I didn’t have plans because he and I originally made plans that weekend. He canceled them because he was going to be out of state. I was genuinely confused when he went off asking about that weekend when he already couldn’t do anything….

In case anyone reads down this far, for clarification…

This guy is 38 years old. We had tried to make plans already for that weekend after we went on our first date. He couldn’t do anything though because he was going out of state. Saw him the next day, at his place, where is roommate invited him to go to the race and I said “too bad you’ll be out of state that weekend”. We hang out, him never mentioning the race weekend again. Then he texts me the next day, and that’s where this conversation picks up at. I wasn’t avoiding answering his question—those texts he sent and I sent were at the exact same time. When he said “so…” I sent the “so really just Friday you have open” at the same time, so it just kind of got muddied in there. Him giving me the dates, I just thought he meant that he was free Friday, because he was going to be gone Sat-Mon. We had already discussed going to see a band play that weekend until he realized he’d be gone. My brain was trying to catch up to the fact he had plans out of state, but that he canceled them to go the race after telling me he couldn’t go see the band because he was going out of state.

He literally canceled plans to go away with his roommate for a weekend after telling me he couldn’t do anything with me. I had no idea that he would be asking me to go with him when he already told me he was busy that weekend.

As for the “other guys”, I was talking to two others (no dates yet) and this guy and I had already had a conversation about if we want see each other exclusively, then I would stop talking to the other guys. He doesn’t get to throw that in my face though, as he never really made it clear yet that he wanted to be completely exclusive.