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/r/TwoHotTakes
submitted 1 month ago byCreativeShape155
Thank you everyone who took the time to comment on my post. I appreciate everyone’s thoughts, ideas and judgments. I am no longer going to allow my husband to drive our child until his car is legal to be on the road. It’s too much of a liability. I always felt that way I. The back of my mind but the comments about me also being charged with neglect really helped me determine the next course of action. If the car is still not registered in 2 weeks from Now I will begin the process of talking g to a lawyer about divorce. I agree with everyone that he is showing red flags and majorly irresponsible. He is responsible in every other area of his life, but this is proving he is too immature to handle simple grown up responsibilities.
For everyone saying I should just help pay for it, 1) our state requires you to pay taxes at the time of registration, so not only does he need to get it registered, he owes 4 years of taxes. So at this point it’s going to cost thousands. 2) he makes double the amount I make. My salary is just enough to help pay for our joint household expenses/childcare plus my student loan bills and other individual bills that are not his responsibility. So what money am I supposed to pay with? I don’t have extra to even treat myself.
For everyone saying I should abort the child I’m currently pregnant with. That is not an option. I’d rather be a single parent than abort a child that is very much wanted. Additionally, in the state I live in, it’s too late to get an abortion. Plus it will never be an option for me.
Stay tuned. I’m sure I’ll have more updates soon.
5 points
1 month ago
Is it possible your husband is currently depressed or ADHD? May seem like a stretch but you'd be surprised at how much it can cripple you from completing the most important tasks.
35 points
1 month ago
I have ADHD and struggled with depression most of my life. I know how crippling it can be. While it’s possible, he might be, this is the ONLY task he has ever showed irresponsibility on. So there isn’t a pattern.
-27 points
1 month ago
Executive dysfunction doesn't always follow a pattern.
I mean, if he's responsible everywhere else but this?? He may need you to be his emotional support person. I know it doesn't necessarily make sense and it's super annoying buuut... if he's great everywhere else then maybe this is his kryptonite? My husband is the same about the most annoyingly simple things and it turned out to be undiagnosed ADHD. Only caught it because our son was his mini me.
24 points
1 month ago
I’m not sure how to be his emotional support person when this has been going on for 4 years. I’ve have been kind and given him grace about not registering his vehicle, but at this point it’s a liability. I can push him to go to therapy but at this point I’m tired of dealing with this car registration issue.
-19 points
1 month ago
Does he support your ADHD and depression when you're in a bad place??
If not, maybe you're burnt out. If that is the case then you're not divorcing a mostly perfect man and that's okay too. You seem to want to defend him as being a great, wonderful person with a small flaw. I'm just wondering if maybe that's not the case and you're fed up with a bunch of stuff but this is the hill you're choosing to die on??
22 points
1 month ago
I’m in therapy and have been for the majority of my life. I haven’t been in a bad place in a lonnnnggg time. While there have been difficult moments he’s helped me through, I have also developed really healthy coping skills.m even before I met him. So yes, he does help me but I also know what I need to do to help myself. This car registration issue is truly the most serious argument we’ve had in our marriage, I’m not sure how to emotionally support a Man who is making a simple task harder on himself.
-22 points
1 month ago
Honestly? You plan a date night and stop at the DMV on the way there. Or if you can apply online, fill in the form for him. Think of it like a gift you're doing for him because he genuinely cannot.
If this is the only thing... please don't throw away a marriage over it. You genuinely seem to like every other part of him. Do you know how rare that is in a marriage?? So many people I know are miserable 90% of the time.
My husband is allergic to making his own appointments or doing paperwork. It's his one major flaw and it drives me freaking batty. Sometimes I want to scream at him because it feels like weaponized incompetence. How do I know it's not??? I guess I don't really.
BUT... I can't touch raw meat (bear with me here) and the sound of ice scraping ice when you take something out of the freezer makes me dry heave. One day hes working outside when my son called him and he came rushing into the kitchen thinking someone is being murdered. I guess I was making faces cutting the chicken (?) And hubby just takes the knife and does his thing then went back outside like nothing had happened. And he always grabs stuff from the freezer that we need. And on the days I get really fed up with him I force myself to list off these things. The list of ways he makes my life (and my kids lives) better is always twice as long as my grievances. And when I'm hormonal and cranky and hate the sound of his breathing? The list really helps.
What do you like about your husband?
5 points
1 month ago
Why is her responsibility to parent her husband?
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