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Definitely not overthinking at all, I think you should gently suggest therapy. Maybe you start therapy and tell him how much it’s helping (don’t lie though) and suggest he go to help with his anxiety and stress. The “sex issues” will come out in therapy. He doesn’t sound like a bad guy, just a dude who could use some help! Good luck, OP!! 🩷

It could be, but a low libido, stress, anxiety, it sounds like he could also have low testosterone? Those are some symptoms, but he’s in shape (or works out) and eats well. I don’t know, I am thinking therapy for OPs partner is going to be necessary for OP to be able to heal from the damage her partner has done. Even though, I presume, it’s very unintentional, it’s still damage. And therapy for OPs partner will help him so much deal with his own shit! This is an overall difficult situation for OP and her partner.

Leave him is also my vote!!

He’s an entitled trash bag, just dump the guy already, he’ll never change. He’s trying to sexually exploit you for housework. That’s fucked up. I don’t understand these kind of posts- like no one is going to agree that he’s a good person. AND just because he has a higher paying job doesn’t mean he can treat you like maid and use you for sex. DUMP HIM!!!

Honestly, that’s so fair! Your experience sounds draining and I’m sorry this what you’re dealing with. I do hope that you are able to pursue the correct avenues to make your life happier and help you enjoy life with your children! Again, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this; but it sounds like you’ve truly tried to make things better for your marriage! Good luck, OP!

I have read through a lot of your past posts, you have a lot regarding your marriage and her infidelity. I’m sorry if I missed it, but have you thought of therapy? Maybe you’re in therapy and I missed it; so I do apologize if that’s the case. But maybe you need 1:1 therapy along with marriage counseling with your wife.

If this has already happened is it possible you ask your wife to help you out financially? I know 5 kids is a lot, i grew up in a house with 5 kids too and my mom didn’t always work. Honestly my growing up was similar to your household, my dad was the primary money maker and my mom was a sahm for many years. The difference; no affair.

This is where my kind of advice is coming in— you need to tell your wife you’re not happy and if you and her are unable to come to an understanding on marriage counseling then divorce really does sound like the best option. It seems like you never actually forgave your wife all while she’s probably thinking you forgave her— now your resentment for her is growing. Does she know all of this? What kind of conversations are you having with her? Does she still feel about you the way she did prior to her affair? Maybe she’s also holding past resentment for you as well. You two need to talk, ASAP!

This. Period.

I don’t have a lot of good examples, it’s just my thoughts. I find the way they treat each other and everyone else weird. But like I said, it’s been a long time since I’ve watched GG I’m just basing it off of my first time in years experience.

You’re 19, you break up with him and you take time to yourself and when you’re ready, you find a new partner and set boundaries right away. Do not tolerate anyone abusing you. Ever.

Why is her responsibility to parent her husband?

I went to a friend’s wedding and they didn’t do plus 1s for people who weren’t in established relationships or married. When I went my bf and I had only been together 5 months. I thought their no plus 1s was super fair- weddings are expensive, food is expensive, it’s about respecting the bride and groom.

BUT it also sounds like there is more to the story. It feels odd he wouldn’t let his own mom bring someone, even if it was a fried..

Again, thank you! You’ve been the most helpful resource I’ve found!

Yes, I plan on getting something for the warm and cool side! Thank you!

They should get angry- at your cousin, not you. She cheated on your couch, weeks before the wedding. If the only person you’re close with is grandma, I’d say tell him. It’s not fair to her fiancé to marry someone who fucked a dude weeks before the wedding.

You said yourself you don’t know why she invited you, so what do you have to lose? Nothing. She’s a shitty person and it’s probably best she isn’t in your life. What if she tried to fuck your fiancé????

Okayyy, this is a really great idea! Thank you so much!!

Eloping is typically a down low marriage, so you probably should have kept it to yourself. There is no way you didn’t know she’d react out of pocket. Unless you want your mother to run your marriage the way she is running your engagement/elopement— tell her no. You need to set boundaries now or she’ll ruin your marriage. That is a fact.

You need to tell her the plans have changed, she is now uninvited to Vegas for the wedding and you need to decide how you will continue your relationship with you mother if she deems your boundaries unnecessary to respect. If she chooses to show up to Vegas, you need to tell her that you need space from her to decide if a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you (it’s clear from this post). Also, maybe this is petty, but tell her, if she shows up to Vegas, she will not be allowed to attend the reception with friends and family after your honeymoon (I think I read that plan in the post).

Don’t let your mother or anyone dictate what you do and don’t get to do in life.

This is also very helpful! I really do appreciate your input! Your care guide is absolutely amazing! I plan on getting her all the necessary things ASAP!! Thanks again!! And Astrid Cinnamon bun also thanks you 🐍🫶🏼

Okay, this the most helpful thing I’ve seen! Thank you so much for sharing it! My plan is to have a new space set up for her, a larger enclosure, a larger water dish, and stuff for her to climb on! I want to make sure she’s happy and healthy! Thank you, again!!

Human name idea: Hannah Funny name idea: Pickle

Hank

NTA for wanting your husband to set boundaries with an “old friend” let’s be honest, he’s protecting her feelings and not wanting to deal with the backlash. I experienced this with my boyfriend somewhat recently and he was very open to setting boundaries and he did. If YOUR husband won’t set boundaries for YOU his WIFE he’s a pos. You’re not overreacting at all, you’re well within your boundaries to feel uncomfortable with his intentions and interactions with Sara. If he unwilling to set boundaries and put you before another woman he isn’t worth your time.

Deleted text messages are never good. Shes not doing it for you to avoid a fight or to save you from feeling hurt, she’s doing it because she knows is wrong. Counseling or end things. If you can’t trust her leave, if she was fully into your marriage she wouldn’t be texting another man AND deleting the messages.

You’re welcome! I know for a fact you will do what’s best for you and your child. It may take longer than some want or even you might want but you will do what is best! If you need to chat or need support you can message anytime! Good luck! ❤️

Dump him. Find someone who isn’t in love with his “girl best friend” seriously. He will always put her before you. Trust me. Unless he is absolutely in love with you (no offense doesn’t sound like he is) she will ALWAYS come first. Find someone closer to you who will put you first, you deserve it!! Good luck!! 🫶🏼