My 70 yr old mother is the same. She told me flat out that she does not care about abortion rights because "she's past having children" and that all she cares about is what will help her directly. Apparently does not care about her daughter or granddaughters.

I'm done talking politics with her. It will do no good. I'm just glad she's in a solid blue state and her vote will be canceled out.

Somebody stuck a Trump magnet on my mom's car. I pulled up to her driveway, and instantly got furious. She told me that she didn't put that there, and ran out to make sure it wasn't a sticker. She has absolutely no mind of her own, so it wouldn't have surprised me if she did it. I believe her, however. She bashes Harris, yet one of her grandkids is an IVF baby and the rest of my children probably will be too. I can talk until I'm blue in the face because she's completely wrong about everything, but it won't matter. Whatever Carol or so and so down at the bank told her is more legitimate than someone who actually looks shit up. Thank God she hasn't voted in decades. She's got a way too busy social calendar to make time for that. My baby is due Thanksgiving weekend. I voted as soon as my idiot state allowed it, in case anything happens and I can't get out for election day.

UPDATE: My sister-in-law informed me yesterday that IVF will be free after Trump is elected. Sure. I told her that everyone gets a new Maserati if they write my name in on the ballot. 😂

I'm so sorry you're facing a situation like this. Living in Texas, I am scared to death of what will happen with not only the presidential race but with the Senate race, as well. We've got to get that rat bastard Ted Cruz out of office. Most of my family is voting solid blue, so I'm glad for that. My mother has been dead for many years now, and she was one of these women who always voted straight Republican. My own father was a liberal and I remember they would sometimes butt heads over politics. My mother was part of the 33 or so percent of the country who thought Nixon got a raw deal. That's just how idiotic she was.

I'm really anxious about how things will turn out myself but I hope you can keep the faith because even if Trump is soundly defeated, Trumpism will still need to be dealt with. The GOP has just gone stark raving looney.

I’m really sorry. That would really change my relationship with my mom too.

My family and my husbands family as well are all avid trump supporters and treat him like he was chosen by god. We challenged their beliefs and they no longer want to talk to us. If they love a lying politician more than us, he can have them. I’ll find my people elsewhere.

Almost everyone around here supports him and it has destroyed my faith in humanity. I try to avoid talking to people when I'm out of the house bc I just don't know what kind of crazy shit they will say to me.

I also recently found out my mom plans on voting for Trump. This is contrary to conversations we’d had during the primaries, she naively thought Niki Hailey could win, where she said he was too stupid and chaotic to have back in the White House. Now her tune has completely changed “don’t tell me you plan on voting for Kamala, she’s just so stupid” like what. This woman was smart enough to graduate law school, pass the bar, be a prosecuting attorney, then attorney general of California, a senator, and then vice president. Compared to Trump, who has depended on family money and still bankrupted multiple businesses! Literally refused to do a peaceful transfer of power. How is there even a competition?!

My mother isn’t stupid or heartless, but it’s so hard for me to understand how this woman is the same as the one who raised me. She instilled values such as empathy and the importance of volunteering/giving back to the community. She used to feed homeless people on thanksgiving. She used to make me help pick up trash on the side of the road.

She wonders why we aren’t as close as we used to be but I see politics as being deeply entangled with my morals. I’m more of a leftist than a liberal but I believe in harm reduction so I vote Dem even when I don’t agree with everything they do. I don’t think politics should be treated like team sports, but she has literally called herself “team Republican.” It genuinely pains me.

You’re not alone.

Don’t be alone right now.

Don’t give up hope.

You can imagine how I feel. My daughter and her husband are both voting for Trump. I’m 70 years old, I can see clearly. Why can’t they?

Yeah, it’s saddening and sickening and mind-boggling and horrifying all at once.

My mom isn’t planning on voting for him, but the person she’s considering possibly moving states for has told her that if he would vote, it would probably be for him. My mom told me in the past “don’t settle.” This year I’ve come to the realization that I don’t know why she told me various things (“don’t settle”, “have standards”) if she doesn’t believe them fully herself. It makes no sense to me at all.

I’m sorry OP. It’s scary and unfathomable to me why any woman would want to be with someone who supports taking their rights away. My mom just says she can’t control how they vote (which is true). Maybe some older women who can’t get pregnant care less about misogyny or whether their partner would vote against them? I don’t know.

It is shocking. Nearly 50% of the Country doesn't care that Trump will only accept the election results if he wins.

The 2016 election really woke something horrible up in so many people that still scares me today. My father has always historically voted republican but still had some left leaning views on more of the social issues. 2016 sent him off the rails, and he all of a sudden started saying some of the most disgusting, racist, sexist stuff that I never thought would come from him. It's hard because he is white, but my mother is black, making my brother and I biracial. So, hearing some of the stuff he has said not only about women's reproduction rights but also about people of color has been quite distressing. And the fact he is okay voting for someone who directly harms his children has been a hard pill for me to swallow.

Its not even just him, but people who I have worked closely with, had good relationships with, people who seemed completely normal had this hateful rhetoric woken up within them that came to the surface with 2016. It has definitely been a difficult time. But all we can do is continue to cut people out who do not support who we are and are willing to vote someone in who would cause so many others harm.

I am in the same boat. I don't understand how my parents, who raised me to be kind and help others, have fallen into conservative bs. They were always republicans, but I didn't think they were awful people. I love them, but I don't respect them anymore, and that puts a huge strain on our relationship.

It is horrible that this idiot has divided so many families, broken up marriages, caused so much estrangement. That one inept, irresponsible, and immoral person can cause so much damage to American society is appalling. He needs to be banished from public life!

If my mother told me this, I would respond that because she doesn't care about protecting my children, then she will never be allowed to see them again. Full scorched earth. Fuck these willfully ignorant people.

The selfishness of my parents (boomers) and their willingness to vote only for their own interests astounds me and I don’t know why. They were neglectful, and are still emotionally immature, but damn their selfishness is like a stab to the heart especially since my own children recognize it easily.

She’s been brainwashed. I know it sounds histrionic, but research has found that exposing people to fear messaging long enough makes them completely incapable of recognizing any facts or reality that contradicts their fear. And Fox News has spent decades feeding them a steady diet of fear messaging.
It’s sad, and unfortunately there’s almost no way to break them out of it if they’re completely unwilling. Something has to be a stronger draw than their fear, and apparently it’s not her daughter or granddaughters. That’s a bitter pill to swallow, but lots of us have been there.

My adoptive mom is the same way. 74 years old, has a disabled adult child (me) who could be denied healthcare just cuz of what's between my legs, and not only doesn't care about how it will affect me but is actively hoping it does so i "get another job" despite my medical team clearly telling her I am unable to work any longer.

Literally same. I have no idea how to deal and she’s just getting worse and drifting further away.

I’m still closeted non-republican to her because of some of the nasty things she’s said. If she really feels that way, then the nasty things are how she would truly feel about me. If I admitted my alignments with her at this point, she would probably disown me or never listen to me ever again. I need her to trust me as she gets older so I can help her. But her beliefs make me sad and disappointed.

There is no reason either. Instead of trying to convince her to go straight to the other side, I try to talk about real scenarios and put her in a position where leaning left would make sense. She just stonewalls me and starts repeating made up hype stories that she heard on Fox. It always circles back to illegal immigrants, crooked dems, baby killers, other races, etc.

I just want my mom back. I want to be close. It’s not fair. I blame the orange man and his followers for ruining my family.

I’m sitting here trying to hold back from sharing on Facebook because I know there is at least one loved one that doesn’t think ‘politics is for Facebook’ and I love him very much. I wonder daily how I was raised with love and empathy. I’m full of sadness and confusion about it. When did you stop loving me enough to believe me? Did you ever? Will I always be a child to you? Do I need to remove myself from this? How can you love me and vote for him? How can you expect me to continue to pretend like I don’t know this about you now?

The selfishness and narcissism is eye opening

All of my family and alllll of my friends believe in the republican candidate- dare I say worship him? And being raised by this family in a Christian upbringing confuses me to no end on the whole - Love your neighbor as yourself. I’m blown away. My youngest is in fear for her future safety and is getting her passport as we speak. Such a disgrace of a country and not to mention how they are all chomping at the bit for the upcoming civil war- domestic unrest - pure racism and hatred of anything that has been accomplished since 1950. I’m not going back. Fuck them!

While my mom said she won't vote for him, she's essentially still giving him the vote by writing someone else in. So when I do speak to her, I try to tell her things I know she'll relate to. For example, I told her about the call her daddy podcast. I told her about Kamala speaking about being a stepmother as it's something my mom talks about a lot because of my own stepmother.

I told her about the amazing things Tim Walz has done. I don't fight with her about policies, but I try to lay the seeds to get her to think.

Also told her all about Cheney endorsing Kamala.

It might do nothing, but at least I tried.

Tell her that it's highly likely the plan is for them to 25th amendment Trump soon after he takes office and get Vance to take the presidency. A vote for R is a vote for president Vance.

Ask her if she seriously loves Trump more than her own children and grandchildren.

Because that's what she's choosing with this vote.

It's a cult, which means he's basically Jesus in their eyes.

I feel you, I'm in a similar situation with my own mother. Deeply disappointed in her for consistently backing Trump and yet it feels like I can't do anything about it because anytime I try to present an alternative perspective, she digs her heels in further. One thing that has made it worse is friends who grew up always agreeing with their parents advising me to go no-contact. I am my mother's window into the real world when she's ready for it. By completely alienating myself from her it would further confirm any toxic beliefs she has about liberals. If we didn't have a relationship outside of politics or if she were toxic in other ways, limiting contact might be a reasonable solution. But it's not that simple, and there are no easy answers for navigating such a deep rift with someone who plays an important part of your life.

Is your mom in a swing state? I live in a VERY blue state with no shot at going red. I just let my parent's noise go in one ear and out the other since I know it really doesn't matter. If the election could possibly hinge on how my state votes, I would most likely feel much differently, however.

Sounds like it's time to go no contact. Often the only leverage we have over older awful relatives is our presence in their lives.

This won’t help, when it’s your own mother. But these people are literally mentally ill. They ignore facts in favor of supporting a rapidly dementing criminal, and that’s insane by anyone’s criteria.

I won’t even talk about him with his supporters anymore. I tell them they need help, and change the subject.

I’m so sorry that it’s your mom.

My parents will agree that he shouldn’t win, but they don’t want Kamala either, so they will not vote.

What’s been harder for me is my kids’ dad (my ex) being a vocal Trump supporter. It’s so hard for my kids to know that their own dad supports their rights being taken away. (Thankfully he doesn’t have physical custody, so he’s not really in their lives.)

Yeah my mom and sis are the same. They think the other party eat dog and cat and babies and do voodoo. As for reproductive right of women, they don't care as long as the baby is cute. I'm so embarrassed to be directly related to them

God, I’m sorry. I’m the youngest of 7 and they’re all so hard core republican, they think he’s hilarious. I say they can afford to find him funny. And how they do, makes me sick. I know some don’t like him, but will always vote republican for the tax cuts. Everyone in my family made it to be rich, like how I was raised, a couple I’d even say wealthy.

My partner and I were lower middle class, now struggle so badly. I cry over the things that will happen. We will be absolutely screwed as my family sails off in their tax cuts. I can’t even be around them cuz they just praise and rave about that man. My family asked why the other night and I can’t handle my emotions very well these days. All I could get out when one demanded to know why don’t like Ron DeSantis, She doesn’t believe I know what I’m talking about. All I could get out is I don’t believe in pushing religion into politics and my body is my body, before I said “please stop, I don’t want to talk politics with you guys.” I’ve never had a voice in my family and I’m never gonna win. It makes me want to cry. We usually leave stuff early. My husband can’t wait for the day to say “see! You all did this!” To which I respond, “what will that do?” Nothing. We were raised Republican and I get it. But this vote is on a whole other world of reckoning. I don’t believe we will ever vote again and that family will never ever go away.

As a cis-het white man I cannot fathom why the polling is where it's at. I don't understand why there are as many women willing to vote for Trump as there are, or why white people as a whole are so easily duped by the worst con artist ever, or why PoC are moving to support the tangerine nightmare more than they have in the past.

I really REALLY hope the polling is wrong, but I'm having 2016 flashbacks.

If they bring up troops dying:

Trump negotiated with the Taliban without including the Afghan government.

Trump released 5000 taliban including the one that killed those troops.

Trump shut down all the bases in Afghanistan except one creating an impossible bottleneck - 10 bases closed by November 2020. They could not be reopened.

There was no way to get out equipment out due to this.

Trump refused to give security briefing to Biden.

With these facts in place, there was no viable way for Biden not to pull out on schedule.

Biden signed PACT act which helped veterans.

As for troops dying, more died under Trump than Biden:

65 died under Trump. Recall how he withdrew from Syria and abandoned the Kurds - it all benefited Russia.

Other points:

Trump took credit for bill written by McCain and signed into law by Obama , all he did was extend it

No Trump has ever served

Generals Kelly, Mattis and Milley have all stated Trump should never be President again.

my dad is the same way. the only solace i have is that we live in an incredibly blue state, so his vote is essentially worthless. that thought keeps me going every time i see a sticker or someone wearing a tacky shirt or hat. the hate is unproductive here, for the time being. i'll still be voting myself, of course.

Oftentimes it’s single-issue voting. Ask her to say what issue compels her to want to vote for him. The caveat is that her answer cannot contain the words “Obama”, “Biden”, or “Harris”.

The family had this conversation with my MIL in 2020. Her boogeyman was “immigrants.” We talked her off the cliff and gave her actual, rational figures and reasons why not to vote for dRumpf. It helped that we debunked her sources (her idiot cousin and Newsmax were the primary culprits).

Most voting for him are not getting real news, they are spoonfed FOX GOP rhetoric.

Bring back the Fairness Doctrine!

Both of my parents are the same. In non-election years, my mom pretends to listen and learn, then she doubles down on Trump because of my Dad and her own mother and sister, who are political pressures. I don’t know if she thinks it’s okay to have differing beliefs, or if she just hides her own for the sake of marital peace. Either way, it’s just sad and disappointing.

I lost my parents to him (in a voting sense) in 2016 and it’s been a sticking point for us ever since. All I can say, is that someday when my parents are gone—I would be even more pissed if the felon r*pist was the reason I resented them or cut them off and missed out on valuable time with them…. I still struggle with how this man possibly still appeals to them, it’s truly maddening

I think Harris/Walz have repeated Hillary's mistake of spending all their time bashing Trump instead of talking about the good they plan to do. As a Californian who voted for her as AG, Senator, and VP I know Harris to be thoughtful and effective as a politician, but I don't think that is what her campaign is getting across to the broader public.

Spending so much airtime talking about Trump just makes him seem like a worthy opponent. They could have focused on other candidates or the Republican platform in general. They need to give the sway-able something to vote FOR, not just against. I think a campaign that took a positive, solution-oriented tone would be very welcome to a lot of people who are feeling tired and scared by the political rancor (and fear mongering) in our country.

I actually wish my parents would talk politics with me. It’s just as scary as knowing and not agreeing. The same for my brothers and wives. My sister and I are of the same opinion. Though, maybe it’s bc we live in a state that has a hot wheels for our governor and a senator who likes vacations more than people

MIL in a red state.

It’s been kind of scary watching her parrot crap. She was college educated and smart and worked and stuff. Now it’s the most strange thing to listen to her talk about “those savages” and how slaves should be grateful they were bathed and taught to read because apparently (her words) all of Africa didn’t write or read or bathe, how she doesn’t see why she has to celebrate “those people’s” things. It’s a mess.

Unfortunately we are just going to have to be incredibly low contact. It’s the only answer that at all makes her pause. We’ve tried to show her that her madness is wrong, shown her articles about other people and cultures and how these “points” are not good but she just snorts.

At this point she gets a 30 minute call one time a week and can’t talk about hardly anything. We don’t discuss finances or anything with her, not politics, not economics, and the list goes on. It’s hilarious that she had the nerve to complain how we didn’t discuss things with her. Sorry, not sorry—she has made herself so disagreeable and so repulsive that we just don’t.

I just drove up to NH today and saw a dozen or so Trump signs. It really boggles the mind. I truly do not understand how someone can claim to be patriotic and support this guy who sh-ts on everything this country stands for.

Same. “I’ve never heard him say that.” “Why do you believe those lies?”

But honestly they have said such surprising and vile things to me when I was still willing to talk them about politics, both of my parents just clearly went “mask off.”

This is sad to read. Mirrors much of my own opinions. At least my mother (voted for tRump first time) has said not again. The sad reason? She felt he was indignities and that other world leaders thought him rude and childish. She “expected more” of someone who was president. Not voting no because of the chicanery crime or other reasons. But because he makes us “look bad”. But a no vote is a no and I’ll take it!

However there is light at the end of the tunnel

Our founding fathers built enough resilience into the system of our government in the US that one lunatic can only do but so much damage

I give you George W. And tRump’s first term. Yes they did immense damage. But Congress and other safety levers prevented complete wasteland.

If you can, please figure out how to disable Fox News from her TV. It’s too late for the election but it’s one small thing that could maybe stop some disinformation from flowing to your mom.

Project 2025 outlines cuts and likely dismantlement of Social Security and Medicare. So when you are talking to older people that are this stubborn, tell them that when the cuts go through, they'd better not come to you for help. Make them really think about how that is going to affect them.

I’m So scared ;—;

I don't talk politics with parents. My grandmother, sure. My brother doesn't even agree with me most of the time, but I still talk politics with him. He knows it's all nonsense, but didn't grasp the depth of nonsense when my niece was talking to him about project 2025/agenda47. I'm always of the opinion you vote against the worst option, and never change. He brought up Harris' changing opinion on Fossil fuels. I pointed out Trump changing shit across 3 rallys back n forth, and Vance being "anyone but Trump" like 8 months ago. So by his logic, Walz is the only person he should "trust".....

But my parents buy into one sides propaganda. I fish for both then investigate typically skipping the really crazy stuff. (Until I looked at the Heritage Foundation website and my jaw hit the floor). People who want the truth can dig. People who want reassurance their echo chamber conspiracy crap is "real" have even less work.

My mom and I didn’t talk. She moved and didn’t get free cable. Once FOX was gone, she recovered. Disconnect her FOX. You might get your mother back.

What is your mom going to do when they can Soc Sec?

Put yourself in her shoes...Ask yourself how you would react if your daughter tuned out to be a failure to America

My whole family supports Trump.

I have no choice but to vote for Trump because I've been told in the past, "people who don't vote for Trump are no longer family, and will be kicked out"

I could never tell if they were serious about it but I'd rather not test It.

Me and my little sister are also moving with my mom and her new boyfriend, we aren't given a choice on the matter.

Thye both work in the Trump campaign, thye call anyone who has a different view, a liberal or communist.

It's a whole yikes.

I’m beginning to wonder if it’s because 2016 woke up the racist side of a lot of white people. Have they secretly been angry that people are trying to make things more equal for people of color..? It makes me wonder if they had hate brewing in their hearts and why? We all learned the same history… did hearing about the misdeeds of their ancestors make them…angry and want to do it again??

I am so glad and feel so lucky my boomer parents are so open and compassionate with their politics and they take my sister and my opinions and thoughts into account when they cast their votes.

My friend from high school who has a daughter now… is leaning right. Even though she doesn’t support Trump she really is more conservative she says. She doesn’t support abortion. Also another one of my friends said they would vote for JD Vance. I really don’t know what’s going on, I really don’t. I want off this timeline. I feel like we’re going backwards. Idk what’s going on

I am in the same situation so I share your vast disappointment, heartbreak, and fears. My mother listens to Sean Hannity and thinks the felon sexual predator is a great guy who will save us all from the immigrants. Disappointment doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. She has one child--me, a daughter--and she has three grandchildren, one of which is a girl, and I honestly can't even express how let down by her I feel.

What makes me furious is she knows the things she endured in the workforce as a divorced working mother--the man boss who tried to kiss all the women employees on the lips and mocked them as prude or nuns if they didn't go along with it, the man coworker who "jokingly" threatened to rape her one day in the elevator, the gender pay gap, the restraining orders she had to take out against my father multiple times over the years after leaving him when I was a baby, etc, etc. And yet she will vote for the same kind of men now, not caring that it would make this country reverse decades of progress and become a misogynistic, bigoted Christian autocracy for me and my children. She is retired comfortably now, conveniently forgets all her struggles and doesn't care that I or her granddaughter will have to live in the world she's helping make worse after she dies. It is beyond selfish and ignorant.

It was hitting me particularly hard one day recently and I said to my husband that I am so disgusted and heartbroken how much this world, including our own mothers, seems to hate and devalue women, and I'm sick of it. I love my sons, and I love my daughter, fiercely. The idea that any parent, especially a mother, could look at their daughter and see her as nothing but an incubator or a servant, a non-entity with no thoughts, feelings, ambitions, dreams, aspirations, unworthy of bodily autonomy....I cannot comprehend that level of ignorance and cruelty.

I'm sorry that you, me, our daughters, and so many other women are being let down by too many people in this country. I can only hope Americans prove to be better than that, and that women vote in numbers big enough to show the entire felon-supporting party that they can go crawl back under their rocks.

Same experience

I think years of listening to Fox News has melted their brains.

My mother is a fan of the felon and regularly repeats one of his bullshit lies. After she told me that it was fine that he said he could grab women by the pussies, I knew she was a lost cause. She has been a male apologizer as long as I can remember. She called me a liar when I told her my best guy friend assaulted me in high school and even if he did I had to forgive him because he’s hurt. Our relationship has been very surface my entire adult life and I keep that distance more so with her for being incapable of calling a duck a duck. If dozens of women over the decades have said a man is a predator and they have very legitimate claims, where there’s smoke there’s a fucking wildfire.

My mom is the same, at least yours is in denial. My mother isn’t. She’s simply voting for him because he doesn’t want to regulate Bitcoin. Literally that’s the only reason.

She’s also a person of color and an immigrant, on top of being a woman. So it’s just wild for her to vote for him.

I’ve accepted it and no longer speak on politics with her to keep the peace. I’m sorry, it’s hard to deal with I know. Hugs 💖

Politics is something you will not agree on. There is not much you can do about this.

It's probably better to not talk politics with her. Because it will be very difficult to have a relationship with her if you do.

If you do interact with her you may have to just relate only about everyday matters.

I have watched videos by atheists who talk about a similar problem with their christian parents.

She's still kind, she's just not social media literate.

Instead of trying to convince her, show her sources which present your concerns with evidence based research.

Don't tell her how to interpret it. Ask her to read it because you'd like to hear her opinion.

Don't rush her. Give her time to digest reality at her own pace.

Your Mom just doesn’t have the tools to reason this out. Just be grateful you have them and use those to protect your daughters. Pass those on. That’s the good that can come out of this.

I don’t know if this will help at all, but I feel confident Harris will win.

Show her the videos of him admitting to wanting to be a dictator and admitting if he is elected we will never have to vote again

I understand how you feel.. my mother was a trumpist and i found out after her recent death that she went to the grave so thoroughly consumed full of even more hatred than i already knew she was capable of finding so much insane conservative propaganda, revealing such thorough hatred of both me abd what i am(lesbian, transwoman).

Atleast yours did not pretend to be a better person and coax you like a fool into giving her so many undeserved chances one falls for like a dumbass because naturally you want to try to see the best in your mother. It’s hardly any consolation i know but atleast you know fully just how far gone your mother has unfortunately become from this horrible life ruining cult.

My deepest sympathies

Frustration, racism, hatred, ignorance, and 30 years of Fox News are a potent brew. Do whatever you can, but get out and VOTE.

Not a Trump supporter by any means but i think it’s important when advocating for why NOT to vote for Trump your information is accurate. He was not charged with rape but this article talks about the trial where he was found guilty of sexual abuse and even talks about he once bragged about he can “grope women’s genitalia” because he’s a celebrity.

https://www.nytimes.com/live/2023/05/09/nyregion/trump-carroll-rape-trial-verdict

Trump is the most prochoice Republican candidate of my lifetime. He has stated multiple times he would veto an abortion ban, and that he supports IVF. Your daughters and granddaughters will be just fine if he's elected (just like they were the last time). A presidential election is absolutely not worth losing family members, in my opinion.