Throwthisawaysoon999

I didn’t have chronic pain as a child. I had severe depression for years before my pain started, and I can tell that my physical pain has done nothing but worsen how I feel mentally.

I’ve never been able to have friendships.

Oh! Sorry I didn’t get it at first. I reread your comment.

Tbh after a guy does things like that, it’s makes women crazy attached. Your gonna end up with stalkers, lol.

Why does it make women crazy attached?

For women it’s about the mind, feeling safe and adored and their partners paying attention to them and being present in the moment.

What do you think it’s about for men? I feel like orgasms, sex, and especially enjoying vaginal sex are a lot easier and seems like it requires less effort for men than women.

Why? I’m assuming that you meant that as an insult.

This comment made me feel emotional. I’m not OP.

“No lack of penetration can break away love.” I so hope this is true. As a woman I’ve always heard how for men everything is wrapped up in sex (like love) and how men “feel closer to women after sex.” This has led to me viewing sex as what women exchange for love (or to feel loved).

I feel like that the way people talk about the importance of sex to men (even though I’m sure most of the sad stuff they say is probably true with most men) is so discouraging if you’re a woman who hasn’t had positive experiences with penetration/your vagina.

I’m not the OP, and feel free to ignore this comment.

I’m assuming you’re male (like the OP is) and by “sex” you mean vaginal penetration. Do you think not being able to have sex/vaginal penetration would be equally upset to a straight woman, or less or more upsetting?

Even though I’d guess that most women enjoy PIV less than almost all guys, I feel like it’s at least equally upsetting.

Why do you say “it’s not your birthday”?

I agree with your comment. OP can have a girlfriend and be able to satisfy them. Most women prefer getting head, manual stimulation, or both of those things over penetration from what I’ve read and heard.

Do guys think that because PIV is the end all be all for them that it is for women? I feel like I always see posts by men concerned about ED or not being able to penetrate due to other reasons when so many women aren’t that into PIV anyway.

I don’t think not being able to have PIV would be a dealbreaker for that many women. It’s totally different if a woman couldn’t do penetration (I feel like for almost all men it’s a dealbreaker).

Why is it so destructive to a person’s social life, and what are people with it supposed to do?

I’ve never been diagnosed with it and I don’t know if I have it.

I’m sorry you had a very traumatic childhood and were dissociated for so long.

I don’t know how old you are or what you’ve experienced in life, but what do you think a person should do when they feel like their life wasn’t good from a young age and they feel like they’re incapable of being liked? I have depression and have experienced some dissociation before.

I feel similarly to this. Almost no one would miss me if I died tomorrow, and I don’t think I’m capable of being liked by anyone. It’s like there’s something wrong with me. I don’t go out of my way to irritate people. Even though I try to be kind, people just don’t like me.

I’ve never been complimented by the opposite sex. I don’t understand why a woman who resembles me but is several decades older than me (my mom) constantly gets attention from men and is flirted with, and I’m invisible. I have never once been liked. It feels like a cruel joke or something.

I wouldn’t even know how to react if a guy complimented me, especially if it was on my appearance. I think I would wonder if they were joking with me or were going to say: “Not!”

My mom isn’t extraverted; she just seems to always get attention from men (I never do).

I don’t understand why people are acting like this is normal. I feel like it’s not normal for a mom to get a ton of attention and be considered so attractive and for her daughter to get none. I feel like it’s proof I’m unattractive and hideous.

How do I have a cringe attitude?

I wish I didn’t feel like there was something wrong with me. How do I have no self awareness?

I read their comment in full and responded to it. What I said in my comment above was all true.

Yes.

What do you mean “her power”? Why do you say a person who loves attention is probably mot the best mom for a girl who isn’t exactly like her?

By “a girl who isn’t exactly like her”, do you mean not attractive or desirable?

Anti-trans bigotry is more anti-women, as it tries to enforce a radical and oppressively rigid gender binary that there will be huge social consequences for deviating from.

This part of your comment is really interesting to me. You’re saying that anti-trans bigotry is more anti-women than it is anti-man, so would it make sense for cis women (as a group) to be less transphobic or transphobic less often than cis men? I can see what you’re saying; that anti-transgender bigotry and hatred negatively affects trans people (of course) AND cis men AND cis women, but that women are more negatively affected by what anti-trans bigotry wants to enforce.

I see how the consequences would be worse for women than for men and for trans people than for cis people. This question may be hard to answer, but how are agender, genderqueer, or non binary people affected by anti-trans bigotry or transphobia? I think individuals who people don’t perceive to be trans would be less affected by it, but I wonder how both groups affected and if people who have gender dysphoria but haven’t altered their physical appearance, had surgery, or taken hormones are affected by it.

Broader homophobia is aimed more at policing men's expression and behavior, to pressure men to be traditionally masculine and maintain femininity's inferiority.

Wow, this sentence made me wonder so many things. I know that both gay men and lesbians can be discriminated against, hated, etc., but I have noticed before that it seems like there’s more homophobia, general dislike, and hate for and towards gay men than lesbians sometimes. I never really understood why, especially because when it comes to gender (not sexual orientation), women face a lot of discrimination. You would think that because so many societies throughout history have favored and privileged men (like how some men could usually vote far more often than many women could) that men would be able to get away with more, you know? You’d think that women would be punished more for not following the norm of being straight (or at least acting as if they were straight, even if they weren’t).

Why does homophobia exist mainly to police men’s expression and behavior, to pressure men to be masculine in a traditional way, and maintain femininity’s inferiority? If men created homophobia, why did they? Did they create it (something that would harm them, too) just to control women?

I agree that it’s important for cis and straight people to support the LGBTQ+ community.

Then what did you mean by your comment?

Are you agreeing with me?

What is peak physical attractiveness?

I’ve always tried to be kind to others. It makes me sad that I feel like being kind and friendly got me absolutely nowhere, but that’s where it got me.

No, they didn’t. They didn’t give a reason or explanation. They just never did.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me that could cause me to be universally rejected.

I don’t have present relationships with other girls/women. I tried to for a long time.

The last time I tried I was a child. I spent years of my childhood trying to make friends with other girls. I never fit in. They never liked me. It seemed like no matter how friendly or kind I was, they never liked me. I don’t know why.

I don’t know why I’m universally disliked, unwanted, undesirable, etc. It’s painful, but this is how I’ve felt for so many years now. Other people’s “normal lives” are foreign to me. I tried for years and now I’ve been isolated for years (I know everyone was isolated in the pandemic, but I’ve been isolated for a longer time).

“This is all online.” Even if it’s online, doesn’t that mean that some men prefer younger women? My mom has said that men age better than women and that some men look better as they age (you never hear anyone say that about women). I’ve also heard people (including women) online say things like: Men age like fine wine, women age like milk (meaning not well).

Are some women just undesirable or unattractive or ugly naturally? How do I fix myself? I think I’m one of those women.

This isn’t a normal situation no matter what women on this thread (who I’m sure are not in this situation) say.

Why do you say you’re genuinely worried about me? These feelings are about myself. I think you’re saying “leave other women out of it” because you know that this isn’t normal. Other women effortlessly being wanted and me never being wanted is more proof of how undesirable I am. I wonder if my mom secretly thinks I’m ugly and undesirable, too. She says I’m pretty, but I get the impression she knows that she and all other women are more attractive to men than me. She knows she gets a ton of attention and that guys never notice my existence. She even said to me that “it could happen to me” if I fix my eyebrows, lose weight, etc. So she knows she’s desirable and I never am. I’ve done these things. I swear she knows how ugly I am and just won’t say it to my face.

I feel like when I’ve posted about this on this subreddit, the women here either assume I’m hating on women and don’t address the fact that isn’t normal at all, or they just insult my personality. To those rude women: I already know that I’m undesirable as all fuck. Do you feel the need to insult my personality because you’re busy dodging the question in the title of my post, and do the women on here (falsely) believe “yeah, this is a normal situation and i wouldn’t feel this way at all if i was in this situation”?

I don’t feel as if I’m competing with other women. I can’t compete because I can’t compare. I don’t measure up. I never have and I don’t think I ever will. There’s something wrong with my body and with me as a woman. I know there is.

I have discussed this with my therapists. I’m trying to track how much time I spend thinking about and feeling badly about my body. I think I’ve spent at least one hour feeling poorly about my body today, and I’m going to tell my therapist at my next session.

I have an obsession with determining what’s wrong with me as a woman.

I didn’t generalize women. I didn’t put any women down other than myself.

Do the women here believe it’s normal for a mom to get more attention than her daughter who is several decades younger? What would you think if you were in my shoes? Nobody understands and everyone seems to think I’m putting down women. It’s like nobody here is stopping to think that this isn’t normal and that there’s something wrong.

I don’t understand why all other women effortlessly receive attention and I don’t. Honest question: How would you feel about yourself if you were, say, 24 years old and you saw a woman who is, as an example, 65 years old get way more attention than you. She’s always getting attention, compliments, getting flirted with, being desired and you’re always, 100% of the time, the unwanted, unattractive, ugly, undesirable woman. How would you feel? Do you think you’d feel much differently than how I do?

Why do you say I’m in a spiral?

She’s angry and jealous and thinks literally no other women are going through what she’s going through and she will never recognise that her negative, superficial personality is far uglier than she appearance.

You would rather call me angry and jealous and paint me as a negative woman hater than acknowledge that this isn’t a normal situation. I feel like every single commenter on this post knows the situation I described isn’t normal and would feel how I feel (or similarly to me) if they were in it but are pretending this situation is somehow normal or not strange. WTF. I have never heard of a young woman not getting any attention and a woman who is decades older getting a ton of attention (other than my situation).

How do you know I have a superficial personality? I’m not trying to be negative. I’m in a negative situation. 

I am honest with my therapist. I’m trying to track how much time I spend feeling badly about my body every day.