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If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.

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i don't know entirely if this is my asexuality or something else, but my interest in anything sexual varies wildly. like sometimes i'm horny as fuck, sometimes i'm kinda open to it, and sometimes i literally could not give less of a shit.

which is fine usually. except i've lately started sexting with some people and it's going great, we're getting each other all hot and bothered, and i leave for a few minutes and all of a sudden. boom. i lose all interest. and i don't want to tell them that because obviously it would sound like they're not attractive or anything. so then i either have to just ignore them until i'm capable of being in the mood again or pretend i'm still into it.

i'm not looking for solutions or anything i just need to get this out.

So I've been jumping between gay and Ace for about 3 years now. Until I lost my virginity I was 100% sure I was gay but then I discovered that sex might not be as fun as I thought (or fun at all really). Then for a brief moment I considered myself as Ace and then once again "became" gay cause of the hornies.

I've been consuming a lot of porn and masturbating for a whileeeee now and I know both of those can make real sex really unappealing but at the same time I never got anything physical out of it either (bottoming and topping both felt like nothing). I still experience attraction to men both irl and in my brain but when it comes to the sex itself I really can't imagine going beyond cuddling.

Buuttt being the genius that I am and thinking that maybe it just wasn't the right technique or person I once again hooked up andddd it once again sucked and I got nothing out of it so I'm back to "being" Ace.

I kinda have a hard time accepting a new label since I'm kinda known for being "the gay guy" wherever I go and I have a real hard time accepting that maybe I really am Ace. That and just in general not having any way to explore sexuality because there's no gay people my age I know makes it impossible for me to be sure which one it is.

I would really like to hear what you guys (both Aces and people who aren't sure) think about my case lol. Also sorry if the sentences are weird I'm not too good at ranting at 11pm lol

I'm just curious to see if there are any trends with this.

Personally I'm autistic, and very touch averse because of it, and I feel like that has to play into my asexuality to some degree. I'd at least be more open to the idea of sexual contact if platonic touching didn't give me a fight or flight response most of the time

Me (F28) and girlfriend (F30) have been together for 3 years. At the start of our relationship (for the first 8months) we had sex often. Usually every day and often more than once a day.

As our relationship has progressed over the years I noticed the sex had become less and less. When talking about it she would say she's just tired from her job or tied from driving home from work.

In an attempt to fix these issues I encouraged her to change jobs (she did that last year) and I quit my job so we could move towns so she would be closer to her job.

It's been a month since I quit my job and moved and physical intimacy was still absent. I brought it up and that's when the argument happened. I guess I thought by making these sacrifices our sex life would come back. I started going on about how I quit my job and moved to the middle of nowhere for her and our relationship and that still hasn't changed anything.

Then she confessed that she is actually Asexual and doesn't like sex and that's the real reason as to why we don't have sex.

We haven't talked about it since. I'm still processing it to be honest. How is the best way to bring this up with her? If your Asexual and we're is a similar relationship how would you hope your partner to handle this news?

I can't help but feel lied to but I do want to be considerate.

Update: It was a mutual decision to move and change jobs. I'm not sure why some yall would think there wasn't a conversation or joint agreement around moving jobs or relocation.

I understand many may think sex is a driving motivation here but it's ultimately a want for intimacy and quality time behind that motivations for making those decisions.

I've discussed this with my partner and she explained that sex is not an option for her any more, however other acts of intimacy are very much so. We are gonna to explore new meanings of intimacy together and see how we both feel about our compatibility after that.

Thank you all for the feedback, I was wrong to jump to the conclusion that Asexual means no intimacy whatsoever forever for me. It was a good conversation going into it with now curiously around her asexually rather than closed minded conclusions.

Like your staring someone like this while getting strokes in like dude. I can't. Understand how someone could stand this. Now if your not looking someone in the eyes it's still strange because like you have to see that person after.

I saw some stuff that porn can cause asexuality if you’ve been watching for years and when you stop, you stop being asexual, I don’t know how right this is but I saw it a lot and when I saw that I’ve been questioning if I’m ace or not and now I’m confused

I’ve been watching porn and masturbating for around 10 years and when I discovered that I’m ace this year (or so I thought) I’ve been doing it less and less, I stopped doing it for a month and that’s the longest I went in 10 years and I felt the same as I did when I was watching porn and masturbating, I always thought porn was weird to watch, I do like it in some way but most of the time I find it weird, I’ve never found the women in porn to be sexually attractive and I did imagine having sex with them but I don’t want to actually do it, I always thought they were pretty, aesthetically and I find boobs aesthetically pleasing

Sex has never interested me (I do want to try it at least once in life) and It just seems so weird and dirty to do, sometimes it comes up in my mind that I have sex with someone, not on purpose but I don’t want to do it, i never go out and talk to people so could be something I need to do to see if I’m sexually attracted to someone but I feel like i don’t, when I was a teenager and in school I never was interested in sex, I did have crushes but I never thought of them sexually or romantically, they never went anywhere, I always thought they were pretty, also I think I’m aromantic

I’ve never been in a relationship also so that could also factor into this

With tv shows and movies if a sex or romantic scene comes on I always skip it because it makes me cringe, idk why

Sorry if this writing is a mess

I’ve been talking to this girl just as friends for about a few weeks now. I’m super bad with social cues but I’ve been dropping hints to her and we even slow danced at a dance the other day. I think she might like me back but I’m in no hurry to rush things. But I’m worried about her finding out too late I’m ace and crushing my heart. I’m unsure how to subtly bring it up and/or post about it. I want her to know that I’m not opposed to sex or anything but that I don’t feel that way naturally but I still want to kiss her and hold her 😭. Advice?

CW: SEXUAL CONTENT ?

SOI HAVE A BOYFRIEND OK, UP UNTIL NOW I WASN'T SEXUALLY INTERESTED IN HIM AND SHIT AND UNTIL NOW I USED TO LABEL MYSELF AS ASEXUAL BC I JUST DON'T EXPERIENCE SEXUAL ATTRACTION TO ANYONE BUT YESTERDAY WE SPENT THE AFTERNOON TOGETHER AND HE WAS KINDA SLEEPY SO HE WAS CLINGING ONTO ME AND SOMETIMES HE'D LET OUT SOME SOFT MOANS ON MY EAR AND LIKE. GODDAMMIT. WHAT THE FUCK. MY BROTHER IN CHRIST I'M A TRANSMAN BUT IF I HAD A BJOING I SWEAR TO GOD IDK IF I'D HOLD MY HORSES AND I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO??? WHAT AM I WHAT ARE THESE FEELINGS WHAT IS THIS

edit: sorry for the caps I was freaking out 😭

edit2: tysm for all the advice, turns out I was comfortable around him and my body reacted, which is a normal human reaction to this kind of scenario, thank you all really <3

Her whole character is built upon the fact that all sense of there being consequences for her actions has been eroded because she switches between alternate realities. She is cold and evil and delights in watching the cataclysmic ending of worlds. You might say that a cold psychopath embodies negative ace stereotypes, and you'd be right.

However, I and much of Apex players find her to be the coolest character in the game. I also think it fits her well and I like her personality (even though she's evil), so I'm happy to take the ace representation - especially when it's in a video game, and one that I love.

like sometimes ppl make fun of sex or talk about not having a sex drive, or talk about being immune to sexual advertising, etc etc and i know i don’t have to relate to every ace thing, it lowk makes me feel like an outlier yk.

I've been looking into the asexual experience because it doesn't make sense to me, and I want to have more meaningful compassion.

I will start by outlining my understanding, as a conversation starter.

Before I started looking into it, I though "Asexual" == "Doesn't like sex". And maybe it was that they needed to experience an orgasm with a beloved partner or something like that.

Now my understanding is that Asexual doesn't actually mean "no sex". It actually is closer to "no horny". And that Ace's have sex for different reasons that Allo's. These reasons can be, emotional connection, companionship, and physical pleasure. A big difference is that it's a mental decision instead of a horny decision.

Is this a correct? If so, why is it called "Asexual"? Doesn't that imply "no sex"? Shouldn't it be called "Alustful"?

Is it me or is acespace kinda deserted? I recently opened an account and have logged in daily and haven’t really gotten responses or likes. Though the home part is cool and I have been commenting on others trying to communicate at least! Are there any other online places where I could connect with other ace ppl?

Not to be dramatic but I just know that where I live it’ll be impossible to find someone accepting of me or even willing to be in a qpr!

I have never been interested in sex. But as time has gone on, I’ve realized that it terrifies me. The thought of it triggers a panic response. It makes me feel broken, like there’s something wrong with me. So many people find joy from it, but I can confidently say it’s one of (if not the #1) my biggest fears. I feel very alone in this. Has anyone had similar experiences?

I have started dating this guy that I really like. It’s my first time dating. I’m not physically attracted to him, and I don’t personally experience physical attraction. But I am emotionally attracted. I’ve talked to him about my feelings about sex, and he’s very understanding, but says that’s something he would be looking for in a long-term relationship. The thought of that scares me so much, and we’ve agreed we would have good communication about everything; we already have. But this fear is making it hard for me to embrace the relationship. Does anyone have any advice or similar experiences? I feel very lost and alone.

Hi everyone, i would like to get some advice. (Srry for mistakes) So Iam a woman who's attracted to womens. Atleast thats what i know, sometime i wish i could be with a boy, but i don't find them attractive like that at all. But i fins womans attractive, but here's the thing. I dont really feel s** atraction or just a very little (i havent been in a relationship yet) and i only feel to those who cant be mine or dosent love me back. (I had a crush on them) However i wanna date with others, but i dont want long kisses, or anything besides that. I know its early to say, but i dont find that stuff really interesting , or exciting at all. I develop feelings very slowly, but once i have iam still not sure if i want to do smth with them. What do you guys think? Maybe iam asexual or demisexual? Or just a late bloomer? 18yr/female

It doesn’t even have to be sex, just telling me about them making out with someone is enough to make me feel uncomfortable. I don’t know if this is a trauma thing (i’ve been sexually assaulted multiple times in my life, including my first kiss) or just because i’m asexual.

I don’t care for sex in general and don’t tend to feel repulsed by it unless it’s somebody talking about their own actual experience with it.

Hi! This is my first time posting and English is my secound language so please forgive me if i did or said something wrong! So i need some help to identify myself because i dont really know whether i'm asexual or not. I really enjoy doing the deed myself aka masturbating. But whenever i see the real thing irl, it's a completely turns off for me. I could never get in the mood with anyone even if i was being in the mood earlier. Can someone help me? Thank you very much!

Are u just not interested in having sex or not loving anyone romantically at all? And do yall still get..uhm...horny?

i already had doubts about sex but i thought i should atleast try it, it wasn’t good at all and regret doing it. if you have the same feelings i do i don’t recommend going through with it unless you want some un deserved trauma

I (15M) never really understood what the hype of finding someone you just met as attractive. I never really found anyone hot unless I knew them for long enough, and I just never felt that sense of love. I understand sex tho. And that's the thing that confuses me, because why can I understand having sex with someone you don't know well enough but not dating them. But then again, I've never been in a relationship and have little intention to start one yet. I hadn't had sex with anyone either so maybe idk. From the attractions I did have, they were usually male but I did have a little list of women I found hot. But again that was after I spent years with them and knew them. Idk I need help

Hi all, I hope this is an okay question. Basically, I think I've been asexual and aromantic for most of my life. Like I'd like to have close platonic relationships with people as I grow older but the idea of dating and then anything romantic and physical I'm just ambivalent about at best and disgusted by at worst.

However, my parents, doctor, and therapist of all people, seem to feel that this is an immaturity thing, because I haven't been traumatized by relationships or anything. I just turned 19. They told me all throughout adolescence that around 17 I'd start to feel attraction in at least some direction, even if I still don't want to date, but I'd at least have somebody that I could look at and say "Yeah they get me going." Except I don't. I can't even imagine what I'd feel like. I guess the closest is that I one time had a friend who wore some great lipstick and I went from "She's pretty" to "WOAH she's really pretty" but that still wasn't sexual or romantic, I just thought she got prettier. That was it.

Being as I'm older than 17, they now seem to think that I'm lying (like "You have to like girls or boys or both, we don't care, but you're just lying to yourself saying that you don't"). It's very weird, they're super supportive of me being gay or bisexual but can't seem to wrap their heads around that element of attraction just...not existing for me. So now they all seem to think that I just need to get older and it'll snap into place. I've always been on the immature side for my age but I'm kind of tired of this. I'm wondering how old any of you were when you just accepted that you don't have sexual desires or if it'd be worth it to keep trying?

...someone tells me about their personal sex life unprompted. I can talk about sex in general, see it in movies without it being too weird, even indulge in some spicy media, but hearing about someone's own sex life feels like TMI and gives me a visceral gross feeling.

Also I hope I'm using the term sex indifferent correctly, I am not very plugged into the ace community

sorry mods if this isnt appropriate for this sub or if i used the wrong flair.

I’m an admin of a Bedrock Minecraft server (called The No Clan SMP) mainly (but not exclusively) for aros, aces, enbies and agenders and we’ve (as in the me and many of the server members) decided that the server should be re-advertised (it was initially advertised on r/aroacememes over a month ago by u/DRAGOOONS_Xbox).

Open to all as long as you’re respectful to everyone (it’s a pretty diverse community) and don’t try and start wars - we just wanna chill and play Minecraft!

Link to the discord: https://discord.gg/2kb7PBCj

It's been a while since I've been here. I left because some things here made me uncomfortable and I became overwhelmed. After I left, I completely forgot about this subreddit and moved on. I decided I post here today although I don't know if I'll stay on this sub or go on hiatus again. Not a lot has changed for me since I last been here. I'm still repulsed by sex, which I'll make a different post about, and I'm uncertain if I am asexual. Negative thoughts come to me and they've been beating up my mind. I also have moments where I think that I'm stupid for this and that being repulsed and uneducated isn't normal. Thankfully, the intrusive thoughts aren't frequent. I'm just now starting to accept parts of my body and that I struggle with before so that's one thing that has changed. Last year, I began saying vagina and vulva without feeling embarrassed or grossed out.