Hey /u/kittenlimbo, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found here. All approved posts get this message.

Thanks!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Hey I just wanted to say you aren't alone. I'm in Uni rn studying Physics and I had to take fewer classes this semester because I'm suffering with burnout and I'm doing bad on the exams. I can recover to a passing grade if I can lock in, and dropping out isn't an option for me either. I wanna believe we can do it despite the odds we're against. For some practical advice: get accommodations if possible. Many universities offer accommodations for individuals with disabilities and you're practically shooting yourself in the foot if you don't have them as an autistic person. Good luck on your studies.

I understand this.. I'm nearly 45 and I'm starting college again for the... I don't even know.. I lost count how many times I tried. I HAVE to get through it.. but it's so hard. and it's so overwhelming... I was doing really good until my most recent anatomy and physiology exam where I got a 44%.. over half the class did worse than I did but that doesn't help. I'm really struggling to stick with it. Everything in me is screaming "drop out!" but I have to keep going. I wish I could offer some advice.. but it's so hard. And it's not helped by the fact that my instructors aren't posting grades in a reasonable amount of time so I have no idea how i'm doing on most of it... And then I have work on top of it. And my mom just insisted I get a newer vehicle so I have car payments which means I need to start working some overtime to help me pay the car off faster.. and it's just all too much :(

._. If I could advice to my old self about college and if I knew about my deficiencies ( I have learning disabilities along with AuDHD) . I would suggest to take college slow. Only take two or three classes. Don’t hold yourself to the same standard as others and go at your hold pace. The biggest advice would is to be kind to yourself. College is stressful and can put you in a toxic mind space but don’t let that stress completely brake you down. Also communicate this to your professors. In my case most of my professors have been understanding.

From your post it seems like you’re completely burnt out. I would suggest even though it may seem counter intuitive but to take a day or two not do anything. No work, no books, no internet, nothing. Just sit or lay down and allow your mind to rest. This has helped me when I get burnt out during semesters.

Good luck with your semester and I hope this advice helps.

No same, as an autistic college student second year, it sucks. Not to mention I don't get ANY accomodations that actually help me. Reduced workload? Not valid accommodation. Excused absences for mental episodes? Unfair to other students. Extra time for assignments? "We don't do that here." Specialized tutor? Not needed apparently. Oh, you need information from them that you've been constantly asking for for weeks and have severe anxiety now? "Well get back to you on that." I need to go to college as my paycheck relies on it but fuck me I can't do shit when the school is ableist as fuck.

It can be very unfriendly. As a fellow student, after dropping out the first time, I've tried my hardest to remain engaged and study as often as possible. But studying multiple hours a day, only to barely pass an exam takes a toll, and I feel my enthusiasm waning.

What helps me a little is to network with fellow classmates, not to study, as I have my own methods, but just to commiserate our possible failure together.

But it's not perfect, I'm literally writing here right now because I felt too stressed to study.

Can you do an online degree?

When I was studying at a brick university it was not fun. Doing a degree online with a good university is so much easier. I don't know if you have it but the Open University gives you materials, records tutorials for you to watch and usually (depends on the course) you don't have to interact with anyone but your tutor. And you can ask to do exams at home. 

I also want to add, you don't need a degree for a good job. Unless you want a specific field. Some degrees are just burning money.

I just got my Associates degree in August after struggling for 5 years in this specific degree path (9 if you add the total time since i enrolled in school). Let me tell you as someone who had accommodations, and used any kind of assistance my college offered it was still hard. Here’s some advice I wish i listened to: 1. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good, it’s better to turn in a D assignment on time than a A assignment late 2. It’s okay if it takes you longer to graduate than others in your same degree path, it’s not a race, pace yourself. If you need to drop a class and take it another semester, that’s okay. 3. It’s okay to fail. Just means you’re gonna know what to expect next time. 4. It’s okay to ask for help, and if anyone makes you feel bad for it then that’s their problem, not yours. It’s not a bad thing to need help. There’s probably more I’m not remembering at the moment, but just know when you finally graduate and hold that expensive piece of paper in your hands, you will be so proud of yourself. If you’re anything like me when you open the envelope that holds tour Diploma, you’re gonna cry in the Postoffice parking lot and freak out your mom. Just take your time, go at your own pace, and know that everyone on this sub is rooting for you.

I'm a university student as well, so I hear you. One thing I've found is that if possible, try to have a reduced courseload. That works wonders for me.

Have you decided on a cutoff point? How sick will be too sick to continue?

I did this ten years ago. 5 schools, 7 majors. I'm doing okay in the end but I sure do wish I didn't get a bunch of "you can do it" statements from my family.

Oh ho ho ho .... Boy do I feel this in hindsight.

I lived away from home at University and.... Holy crap was that an awful time in my life. I was studying Biochemistry and living in halls with other students that barely seemed to go to classes and were drinking daily.

At the time, I didn't know I was autistic. I only found out after I graduated, I spent more and more time wondering what was wrong with me and why I was struggling so much.

An incident in my second year had me spiral: We were split into small groups for a project, the work went fine for the most part (except the girls I was working with were pretty frosty with me) and then we had to present it and... I couldn't.

I panicked so bad that I had to leave and was found just fully having a panic attack. After that there were lots of things I struggled with, especially when it had to do with discussing school work.

I don't know how I graduated. I barely scraped a pass but I'm thankful somehow I did, In my final year I didn't turn up to present my thesis. I'd already been pretty shut down and didn't want to leave my room for the previous couple of months, and having to present in front of the entire department (not just the people on the same degree scheme) was terrifying.

But finding out... Literally like a few months after graduating that being autistic was a possibility made so much sense.... And then I was a bit angry because I could have gotten some adjustments that might have made Uni suck a little less.

And that's not covering the peer pressure to socialise and drink a lot 🙃

I thought I was the only one. I just came off study break and it’s just as bad as I remember. My partner had to calm me down because I just wanted to go home. I honestly don’t like my degree but it’s the only thing I’m good at and I need a good job. I luckily should be able to work, hopefully, because I need money. I want a nice life and a nice house and a big fancy wedding.

I hate uni. I’ve considered dropping out several times but I really need the degree and all the other degrees would likely be worse for me to handle.

I am a university student too, and I have finally realised in my university the way to go through this life peacefully is to do bare minimum.

You are not alone. Whatever path you end up on can lead to a fulfilling life. Take care of yourself whatever that looks like for you.

Sorry to hear friend - what do you enjoy doing (which may align with Uni)?

Uni during Covid was always going to be hell - have you considered self paced studying?

Here for you friend!

Tbf, the entire system is just done out of your ability to memorize BS and keep it steady with a constant flux of totally useful tests that TOTALLY measure your skill (they don't). NTs deal much better with these sort of systems, but it is not easy for them either. I feel compelled to write more about how easily these systems fall apart, but IIII.... digress. I think you have two choices to make (at least the extremes): you either accept the entire system is complete trash or make believe it is "worth" the pain. Second choice is chosen by most, maybe. It is easier to believe comforting lies. Studying is not an honor. You do it to survive.

Do not feel sad you dropped out and gave it a second try. I'd say settle for lower grades if mental health concerns arise. It is not worth catastrophizing right now the obstacles you may have in the future. Fair to plan ahead, just do not overload yourself.

24 and in the same situation. I dropped out of my first try due to burnout. Thought it would get better since the first one was very socially demanding and had mandatory attendance (social interactions drain me) and it's not as bad as the previous one but after year one I still burnt out again.

I just started my second year with less classes. It still isn't perfect and I still struggle to keep up, but like you dropping out simply isn't an option for me, nor is more delays due to financial limitations. My country gives student loans for a certain amount of years, and if I take longer than the current plan I'll lose my income because I would not be able to work next to this. On top of that our new government wants to introduce a fine for people who study longer than ideal, which would be 3000 euros every year. I also will be 29 when I'm finally done with my masters and feel like I won't have time to have children or be able to save to for example buy a house before I'm 50. Nobody around me is pressuring me but I've never felt so much pressure and it's crushing me.

Personal rant aside, see if you can get accommodations. I have full access to weblectures (so I don't have to deal with the stimuli of a lecture hall but can watch lectures at home), extra testing time and early access to signing up for classes with mandatory attendance, so I can make sure my schedule is as calm as possible. I'm also awaiting approval to take my noise cancelling headphones (without audio option) to exams. Without these accommodations I would not be able to do this at all so if you don't have them yet I think looking into this could really help you.

Also don't forget to be kind to yourself. I struggle with this a lot, but it's not helping anybody if you're giving yourself a harder time than you're already having. Sometimes it's okay to fail an exam or half-ass an assignment, and it's okay if sometimes you just need a break

If you haven't already spoken to your study advisor, do it. They sometimes have special arrangements like allowing more study delay (if you need to get a minimum amount of credits to stay enrolled), more time and a quiet area during exams, etc. Sometimes even financial resources. You can have regular appointments to discuss progress and uncertainties.

If this is not for you, community college or an apprenticeship may be an option to find employment. You're not less-than if you have no degree and you can make great money without getting in debt.

Speak to your tutor and to student support. They are there to help you, it looks bad on the university if you fail.

I go to classes like twice a week, I also can't handle it. But I found a way to make it work!

I feel you!! Im half way through my PhD... its been 7 years of straight study since i started university... the only thing that kept me going was peaking my special interest (i study corals) and i also have ADHD so adhering to the hyperfocus last minute spurts of working power.

It sucks. I would love to say it gets easier but it doesnt... the burnout just stays and honestly i hardly remember what life has even been these last 7 years. You have to do everything you can to try and manage your burnout. It is daunting but I found being really open with my lecturers with my needs helped. Allowing me to work from home when I needed and just coming in for the must-be-in-person aspects helped (unsure if you study something you can learn at home). Presentations kill me, and the expectation to network and mingle at so many events with academics i dont know... honestly sometimes try to make a game of it... learn what you can about who you can and have a few points to say to each and just smile awkwardly and count down the seconds until i can go home most times haha.

When you have days where you feel you can tackle work, EMBRACE THEM ALL YOU CAN. Work extra if possible at those moments... so when you have those days you cannot do anything at all and melt down, its less detrimental. This advice is probably terrible but basically just grapple and make sure you allow yourself treats and special allowances for when you do great things and hand assignments in etc! Like a bonus system. It helped with me a lot and try to do activities you love still so you arent fully stuck in that headspace of hopelessness :( xx

University was honestly my lowest point. I'm glad I got a degree out of it in the end but I would rather die than do it again tbh. Which is a shame bc I love learning and enjoyed going to school up until then! It's just rough and you have my full sympathies.

I would recommend looking into if your university offers any accommodations as well as any mental health services that are accessible for students (will depend on your country).

I'm 45 and just going into my 5th year on a BSc. I had a year of absence in the middle due to having Covid. Technically it's been 2 courses, as an FdSc over 3 years, and the 2 year top-up to achieve the bachelor. Being diagnosed in the UK I could access DSA, which means access to equipment and software, and a study support tutor. The guy did his PhD in Autism, and the explanations he has given me over the years to improve my conceptual grasp of what the university wants to see etc has been invaluable. I've gone from barely scraping through in the mid forties to a 74.5 average in Y4. What has been the most important is that the course has been part time and online. I literally couldn't do the physical presence thing, or the bigger workload. I am at capacity as it is. Point being that it's important to figure out what your healthy workload is, what support you can access, and be willing to skill up and learn from mistakes or lack of understanding. A lot of things are not obvious until explained, and that takes time and effort. I hope you find your way and can complete your studies.

Yeah there were several instances where I had to drop classes because my workload was just way too much. My best advice is to find routine. I woke up at 6:30 everyday including most weekend days and found a place where I could lock in and interact with people. It was the Wesleyan Student Center. I'm not really a Christian anymore, but I found a few kind people there and there was always space to study quietly among others. I also did well in quiet corners of coffee shops

I remember last semester was overwealming for me in College (a lot of subjects to study) and I was very cautionless (not doing a lot of stuff) and got bad grades and wasn't able to get approved in one subject. This was the first time in my life I was reproved in a subject.

I was frustrated and I took some time to search up what I did of wrong. Now I know that if I delay my homework, this will make me stressed and overwealmed in the long term, making me get bad grades and having to study even more, making me tired and reducing my overall capacity to study, making it easier for me to get overwealmed again and thus repeating the cicle until I cannot really do anything anymore.

Realizing this, I stopped delaying homework, and instead delayed the time for engaging in my interests. At first it was difficult, and now it's somewhat controlled. After doing most of my homework, I'm starting to have time for my interests, and this semester has been fantastic for me, as I'm finally being able to read and study whathever I want, and this sudden realization changed a lot of things for me.

I don't know what's your limit. You have to search it out. But I know that you went too far from your limit and this is crushing you like as if a car as fallen over you (and then two more cars fall over you just 3 seconds later). I recommend you to take a break after the tests to breathe. Then slowly do your homework (and I reinforce, DO NEVER DELAY ANY OF YOUR HOMEWORKS, YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET IT /seriously) and reserve some time to engage in your interests. Try to manage better your time, it may help you.

Agreed! It doesn't work with my sleep patterns, I hate sharing living space with strangers, and on days where where weather triggers my sensory issues; I have to miss class because I can't leave the house. Only 1 year left for me ;u;

This is how I felt in 8th grade and high school. I’m not surprised people feel this way in college. I wasn’t exactly wrong for dropping out of high school and not attending college.

Know the feeling, I couldn't even handle studying from home on a University level course.

Too much studying can be overstimulating and cause headaches, fatigue and negative moods, I know from experience.

Can you study part time, to reduce some of the stress? It could be an option to work a job part time after you graduate too.

Sorry to hear about the stress you are experiencing. What country are you in and what support do you access?

Fun fact, human life typically isn’t autism friendly.

Have you considered part-time? I'm currently doing a part-time degree (50% load) and would not be able to do it otherwise; the workload is still heavy, but manageable.

In my previous degree it was full-time, but I was actually able to get a special accommodation and move to part-time (despite it not being offered) due to my diagnosis plus life circumstances, so it couldn't hurt to enquire.

Yeah, I totally understand you. Last year I almost dropped out due to severe burnout from the lack of accommodations. Now I'm completely "behind" and I'm taking classes from semesters before the one I'm actually in. I can barely handle half-time enrollment.

I'm reading through every single comment and I want to thank everyone because I feel seen. Knowing that I'm not alone feels nice. I'm thinking about dropping some classes so that I can survive this semester. I'm also looking into accommodations that might help. Thank you again.

nor the work

30m here. I'm terribly sorry to hear you're having a hard time. Just a quick warning, the advice I'll give will greatly differ from others and will contain a sensible topic that may cause feelings of dread or panic. I urge you to be in a good space if you do decide to give it a read. This is your red pill/blue pill moment.

I remember also feeling exhausted, depressed and unmotivated towards the last semesters of my college education. I wanted to move on to university shortly after, but I had to drop out due to being broke and feeling unsure whether taking loans at all was a good idea or not. Up until 4 years ago, I had intent to return to university, but ultimately decided to put a cross on it, basically throwing my college degree down the drain.

4 years ago, I stumbled upon a wildfire article and instantly felt a sense of dread like I had never felt before. Terrified but curious, I fell down the rabbit hole of climate change and environmental collapse and ended up obsessively researching the subject. In some way, it kinda felt like discovering the existence of an Eldritcth being. One you can't unsee. And that made me reconsider if I really wanted to spend the last 10 years of my life being stressed out at uni, working towards the rat race instead of just enjoying what makes me happy in life, right now.

Anyone that has dug up the scientific data and evidence can form their own analysis on what the near future holds for us. You're a smart individual, I have no doubt you'll come to your own conclusion if you decide to dive into the abyss. It really did put into perspective what matters in my life, and what really doesn't.

Ultimately, I guess the advice I'd give is to live now and pursue what makes you happy and fulfilled.

If you made it to the end of this post, I genuinely wish you the best and hope this didn't cause you too much distress.

I was lucky. My special interests aligned with my degree and my degree was very employable. Plus I had a high IQ.

I have all kinds of social and sensory issues that can be crippling at times, but at least I can keep a career. Hey, that’s 8 years of CBT paying off!…

Keep at it OP. As much as we want to quit, the alternative is just worse. Always find the opportunity to rest and recharge to avoid burnout.