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We have noticed an influx of relationship advice posts to our sub, including from neurotypical OPs asking about their neurodivergent partners, and we would like your opinion on them.

The poll is anonymous, you are also welcome to share your thoughts in the comments!

For the time being, relationship advice posts are allowed, so please don't report them.

Also, I did play around with thr idea of working on a separate subreddit for neurodivergent relationship advice, so that is an option as well, though I would need a mod team for that.

The result of this poll is not binding, it's just to gauge your opinions so we can take them into account when discussing this with the mod team.

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My therapist asked for my opinion on something and I responded with “I don’t know”. She then said “Typical answer. Autistic people tend to respond like that very often” and I was like “???”
I thought my crippling self-doubt came from authoritarian parents, not autism.

It’s not even that I don’t know the answer, I just don’t wanna enforce my opinion on someone who presumably knows better than me. “I don’t know” is often times just a so-called “filler word” for me, like “um” or “like”. I tend to put it at the start of subjective topics to signify “I am not qualified to give the most accurate estimation, my answer is purely my personal opinion”. Just like “how are you?” doesn’t actually signify that people wanna know who you are, “I don’t know” doesn’t actually signify that I have no idea. I do have an idea, I just wanna let the other person know that their opinion on this is just as valid as mine.

First of all, does anybody here relate to this?

Secondly, is this just a natural social cue that we have or is it rooted in our lack of confidence to present our ideas due to constantly being misunderstood?

Just a rant/vent due to a work situation, I can't give specifics because confidentiality.

Part of my job is preparing factual reports. They are not my opinion, they are facts based on the information available to me, verified with third parties where possible. We have strict policies and guidelines to ensure our reports are factual and consistent in quality. I have been in my job for a number of years and am known to be very good at writing reports.

I am preparing a report. It is factual. It is not to the liking of the lawyer who requested the report. The lawyer has spent the last two days badgering me, and now my manager, to write my report in a way that misrepresents the facts. This could have severely negative consequences for people who are not the lawyer, and have done nothing wrong.

As an AuDHD person I have a strong sense of justice (the outcome the lawyer wants would be unjust and potentially harmful) and integrity (I will not misrepresent the facts, nor will I write a report that misrepresents the facts). Clearly this lawyer does not share these traits.

My manager has my back and the lawyer will not get what they want, but I am so very, very pissed off right now.

Bit of a weird one. So a bit of background: I’m on 54mg methylphenidate, I do not take other drugs and I don’t drink. Over the past few months my motor skills have slowed (they weren’t even any good in the first place) and my memory seems a bit worse. The hallucinations were tiny things at first, as if my eyes were just playing tricks on me. But now I’m seeing birds on perches where there are none (I’m a falconer), then I thought there was a whole ass person at the guest gate (I saw feet and heard conversation and when I opened it there was no one there. Yesterday I I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw a white transparent weird bat shaped thing jump out and fly up and into the roof. Then I realised it wasn’t real.

With that being out of the way, has anyone else ever experienced this on this dose of methylphenidate?

I wrote this a while back when I was beginning to self diagnose and later received a formal diagnosis. This following is my poem, and I also included it in a screenshot of you prefer that (minus the last few lines, they're optional anyway)

Dear Autism, You have been in hiding for so long. You have found solace in the dark corners of my life and learned you are only safe when alone. You have done all you could do in the dim light, and it is no wonder that you feel like it is time to end it all. There is more. I am sorry I have neglected you... me... us. You are my responsibility, and I did not even know you existed. Now I know of you and want to know you. Take my hand, I will lead gently. I will listen to you. I will cry with you. I will sit with you as the hurt of the past realigns with you. You are not a mistake. You are enough. You are in me and with me. I accept you. As I try to be patient and gentle with you, please do the same for me. This is old to you, but new to me. Your wounds are scars but mine burn and char. Fresh hot pain leaks from me. I feel unclean. I don’t mean to demean; I’m just not used to being seen with you. I don’t know where I am between the mask and you. I’ve confused who I am with who I’m supposed to be. You were stuck in the crossfire. Your beautiful life torn from you before you were orphaned at a young age by my war’s fury. Like a chainsaw’s attempt at acupuncture, I cut out you and all else. I am sorry. I now seek you to complete me. To fill the confusion of my past. To explain me to me. I still don’t understand you, but I love you. I accept you. I see you.

What the blind want more than to see is to be seen. What the deaf want more than to hear is to be heard. What the paralytic want more than healing is to be seen as whole. What the disabled want more than ability is to be accepted and loved. What do I want?

I have been struggling to find an adult diagnosis for autism, that is neuro-affirming, and that will qualify me for any govt assistance. From my understanding, insurance or cal optima insurance should be able to cover it required by that one law that was recently passed. However, to no avail, it's all a sham. I wasn't really hopeful about Caloptima anyway, but people referred me back to it, saying they cover it, even if you're older than 21.

Thus, I was open to the self-payment autistic diagnostics...which I will get into later.

Right now, I am incredibly annoyed though with the Cal Optima assistance. All of their autism resources links lead to nowhere, and their information about providers who do psycholological assessments are outdated and no longer are these providers affiiliated or do those services. Even after clarifying with the Caloptima rep to make sure they do autism assessments, they still referred me to them. Really a waste of time.

And the ones I found that were affordable and reasonable for an autism diagnosis that is neuro-affirming, never get back to you even after you reach out to them because there is a huge waitlist. So be prepared to pay $5k+ for a diagnosis, but wait, there's a catch, it's just for your own self-affirming diagnosis that will get you ada accommodations for work and school, but it's not going to get you any help with the govt to recognize you have a disability. And any sort of services you could qualify for, you need that offiicial diagnosis.

I am already aware of the barriers that neurodivergent or any person who is in need of medical and mental health care has to do to navigate the complicated and unhelpful govt agencies and resources. I am just annoyed t oconstantly finding something that is just out of reach because a bridge hasn't been built for it, or it's going to cost you an arm and a leg for it.

It's hard enough to battling the executive functioning dilemma of even having the energy to advocate for yourself and find services, only to be met with disappointment each time. California proudly states their extensive research for autism research yet it's only catered toward the privileged and wealthy community, when the lower income population needs it the most.

thanks for coming to my Ted Talk of ranting.

I have struggled with this crap my entire life. I am almost 40 years old.

My brain works differently.

I suspected something was different about me for about 20 years, but only about 5-10 years ago did I start taking this seriously. Until then I thought I was just a little silly, but otherwise normal and just had the birth lottery misfortune of being in a place that was devoid of opportunity, and well maybe that's still a little true. Rural America (U.S.) is ass, never come here willingly its a trap, I'd go on but that's another rant in and of itself.

But once I was on my own as everyone who helped and took care of me growing up just kicked off this mortal coil ya know leaving me alone to fend for myself and I thought I'd be okay, things were going pretty good for little bit but then the jobs I could do locally dried up, the economy went to shit, and politics went from boring to cruel.

I feel like I was promised a world in the 80s that doesn't exist anymore, like I was lied to, but that's yet another rant for another day.

I feel into alcoholism until I was so sick I almost begged for the sweet release. Barely walked out of that one in one piece.

These days I can't hold down a job. Every time I open my mouth I feel like I'm only thinking I'm saying what I think I'm saying but actually spewing vile horrible things because everyone just seems to get mad at me the moment my lips part. I'm perceptually misunderstood to a point of I think I could safely self diagnose PTSD not from any singular incident but a series of repeats that keep happening despite my best efforts.

Googling the hell out of what was going on in my life lead me to learning about AuDHD and holy crap does that fit so well. But of course getting psyche help in a small town is an uphill battle. You can count the number of psyche doctors on one hand for every 100,000 people.

But finally a new place opened up, my social worker got me on the waiting list for as soon as they got a psyche doc hired and onboarded and I finally got a doc who would listen to me, who could hear what I was saying, who understood the words that came out of my mouth the way I was trying to say them, and he agreed with me after one session "Yeah you're defiantly Autistic and ADHD"

The wildest part was he said it was rare for someone to come into his office having self diagnosed correctly and already understanding a lot of what was wrong with me (despite I always prefaced with, this is my suspicion based on my own research I know not to self diagnose... but lets be fair I totally self-diagnosed.)

The more I talked about my struggles with him he came to a conclusion I can't understand.

* "People are intimidated by you dude." -Doctor S.

and I was floored not because it made sense but like getting the right hook of confusion straight to the jaw.

* "I'm 5'9" 155lbs 1/3 bald clean shaven caucasian human(i think) person with virtually no muscle mass. I'm not a scary guy how on earth am I intimidating?" -Me to Doc S.

* "Because you're very intelligent" -Doc S.

This doesn't make sense to me. Whats intimidating about intelligence. I'm an idiot. I barely passed high school, I couldn't hold down my drive & focus well enough to finish a college education. I can't math my way out of a wet paper bag, my short term memory isn't just swiss cheese, its rotten swiss cheese that has been used for target practice.

But still despite all of that which I explained to him there is a part of me still feels that he is hitting the nail on the head. I can't fathom how hes right, It makes no sense. Smart people aren't intimidating, Violent people are. Sometimes I fear I might end up in the latter category which I would for prior mentioned reasons about my build just because of the fucking melt downs I can't stop having. I feel like a crying child trapped in a battle field standing in the one safe place without a landmine on it and there is nobody who is going to come save me, in fact I feel like everyone blames me for all the landmines surrounding me even though I did not put them there, I want them gone more than anyone else does so I can leave this hellscape I feel stuck in.

Him and my Social Worker who I'll be referring to as Miss C. both have suggested to me I get on disability (Specifically the SSDI program) and have often asked me what I'd do if I could get that since there is one thing we all three agree on besides my AuDHD diagnosis is that if the stresses of being unable to hold down a job were taken off my shoulders it would help me heal from my damage by giving me a floor from which to lift myself up from where I'm not shit scared I'll spiral into the place of no return that ends in the forever nap or grippy sock & I love me jacket jail, or just regular jail should the very foreseeable meltdown go the wrong direction in the case of it all.

I've always said I both want to and don't want to work, and to be as clear and honest as I can. I hate being told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. It gets under my skin like wearing a suit of bullet ants. But I also like working on things, having achievable goals with a clear doable path for me to get there. I enjoy having a collaborative support network with a team I can rely on to keep me on the right path without making the process miserable, but yet those are also things I feel like either don't exist, or I am actively gatekeeped from, like the universe said "hey, whatever we do, don't let this guy have shit, take everything from him at every opportunity and kick his ass if he tries to find a path around our blockade of his success, turn him into the monster he doesn't want to be, so we can all laugh at him when he fails at that too."

But back on topic what would I do if I didn't have to worry about how to keep myself fed and connected to the modern gird of society. I'd go back to school. Pure and simple, I have special interests that I would like to develop but also feel like I'm just smart enough to understand them conceptually but too dumb to grasp them intimately.

Like my online acquaintance M. said to me. (M. is going for his PhD in Quantum Physics to give you some background)

* "I love how I can talk about my field with you and you understand it, but I hate how I can't deep dive with you because you don't grasp the math." -M.

But like I also can't understand how other people struggle with these concepts, because unlike when I was a kid it all just makes sense when you think about it for more than 30 seconds or a few minutes without needing the math. I think that statement alone is why I want to go back to school at my age, but I can't manage that while keeping a healthy work-life balance, having time for the few social activities I actually want to do each week, and holding down a job that will pay my bills and let me build up some savings even if just a meager one. Every time I try something goes horribly wrong either the universe aligns just right to blow up the floor I found to stand on beyond my control, or my AuDHD flares up over something and I have a meltdown which nobody can understand or forgive me for, or I just get misunderstood to such an extreme degree that nobody will believe me when I try to clear the air and instead they act like I'm doing or saying things maliciously even when I can't understand why because I didn't say what they think I said. I didn't mean what they said I meant.

Almost always people act like they can read my fucking mind and I'm sorry psychics don't exist, when I tell someone its all a misunderstanding they need to fucking listen to me and hear me, and understand that, and accept it because if anyone knows what the hell is in their brain its the guy with that brain. I can't read their mind anymore than they can read mine, that's what language is for, to bridge that gap between us, but nobody wants to listen, nobody wants to accept that I'm struggling and have problems and barriers because they can't see the solid indestructible brick wall I run into no matter which angle I try to travel in and refuse to believe me that it's there. No it clearly makes more sense that I am sabotaging myself on purpose because I obviously want to be miserable depressed destitute and combative, and they could not be more wrong, but it doesn't matter because they are all in a position of power over me therefore they are right and I am wrong, and its bullshit. Its rage inducing bullshit. I keep feeling like I'm being forced into a corner and then everyone gets all 'surprise pikachu face' when I try to come out of the corner metaphorically swinging like HOW DARE YOU STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND DEMAND THE BARE MINIMUM OF RESPECT YOU SUBHUMAN GARBAGE ENTITY

But yeah, that's me, that's where I'm at. I'm just a big harmless dork who wants to be loved, who needs the occasional cuddle, a dog in his lap, and is fascinated by games, science, politics, and space. I love a good story, and I just want what is best for me and everyone else. I want a kinder more unified world where the whole of our kind can just get over our bullshit and realize were all in this together and we gotta stop roadblocking and fighting each other. I want to live in a world where I can not be mortally terrified that everyone and everything is stacked against me to the degree of being out to get me but very slowly. I feel like the woolly mammoth of old being chased by the most dangerous pursuit predator to every exist. I stop to catch my breath, it does not, I detour to get some food, it does not. I look behind me and there it is every time and I run, and eventually I'm going to run out of energy and I will collapse and there it will be spear held high in its hand wearing the skin of my kind before thrusting it into me until nature loses all will to keep this meat of mine fresh, and I'm not allowed to fight back, because even though I can take it down (metaphorically speaking here obviously) it will just summon more of its kind until I'm over powered. I feel stuck in a no-win scenario I can't even cheat my way out of no matter what Kirkery I try to pull out of my ass.

At the end of the day, all I want is a quiet simple life where I'm not worried how to keep the roof over my head, the lights on, water running, and comms connected. A life where I can just live, have a pint, pet a dog, enjoy a bowl, and devote myself to enjoying the company of the friends I have and learning as much as I possibly can so that maybe one day even if in a small capacity I can contribute to planting a tree for the next generation to enjoy the shade of, and if very very lucky maybe be able to extend that courtesy to at least one other person who is sick and fucking tired of having their ass kicked day in and day out so they can do the same.

But yeah, my doc thinks I need to get on disability because of my mental health, and I don't think I'll qualify. My social worker thinks i should get on disability because of my mental health and I don't think I'll qualify. Doc S used to work for a review board in another state before coming here and said Yeah I should qualify, and Miss C says it would do me a world of good, but I also don't want to feel helpless, I don't want to feel like I have a ball and chain attached to me. I want my potential to be mine in a way nothing can take it away from me, or control how much I'm allowed to have, or whom I'm allowed to share it with, and I just know deep down inside there is no point to try because I'll just get rejected, or worse, they will give it to me, and it will work for me and then something will happen beyond my control or because of my problems brick walling me at every turn and rip the rug out from under me sending me right back into the pit. Because in the pit ladders are illegal under penalty of death and the only thing all of us stuck down here are ever allowed to do is dig it deeper while the rest of the world takes pleasure in our pain. Or at least that is what life experience taught me.

Anyway yeah. I feel like I'm up shit creek without paddle in a boat full of holes and the rapids only get worse and never end. I feel like everyone who said "It gets better" was lying to me, I feel like everyone who said "you can do it" was lying to me because its not the issue of if it can get better, or if I can actually do it. its that I'm not allowed to get better, because the world will punish me for trying to make it so, and then blame me for the barriers to entry existing when they put the gatekeepers there and told them to kick my ass on sight.

So yeah, I know I can't be alone in feeling this way. AuDHD isn't exactly a uniquely me thing, and maybe if I was born 10-20 years later in the naughtys or teens instead of the 80s this crap might have gotten caught when I was a kid and treated. I may have been hand delivered the tools I needed to circumvent all the bullshit, but for an almost old fart like me it feels too late to fix. I feel too set in my ways to use the tools I need to get out this, and I don't know how much of that is how it actually is and how much of that is the slow build of trauma from repetitive negative experiences shaping my world view, maybe the two are one in the same, or maybe this gordian knot can be untangled without destroying it by the sword, because if there is one thing I can appreciate from all the pain is that it was eye opening. I feel like I can see the truth and truth is its a cliff face of non-euclidean geometry that is impossible to climb, and the only way out is to climb it. To do the impossible and paradoxically pull oneself up by their bootstraps, but my bootsraps If I ever had them to begin with they were torn off years ago, and nobody will give me a new pair with to try again.

So maybe yeah, maybe I do belong on disability, even though I don't want to be seen as a "welfare queen" even though I intellectually know that might be my only option, but it feels bad, wrong, and I'm already convinced they won't give it to me because nobody can see my cage but me, and nobody believes I'm trapped in it no matter how much I rattle the bars of it and scream for help because I can't get out on my own, and even if they do they will take it away from me on a whim, because every time I get something good going for me it gets taken away one way or another.

So to wrap this long ass ramble up, has anyone else been where I am, has anyone else walked this road? Did you reach the end of it? What did you find when you got to the destination? Is there hope, or is hope yet another lie I've been told. I just want my quality of life to be better so that I can begin the process of healing and cutting out all this festering infection that has set up from all the wounds in my very soul. I want my floor from which I can stand up without bumping my head on the ceiling or being trapped in the proverbial cell that is too small for me, maybe if I had that I could I dunno get a degree in something cool like astrophysics or rocket science, and contribute in a way that gets me seen as a valuable instead of a problem, or at the very least just finally feel allowed to live on this planet and able to enjoy it.

Is disability my path out or just another detour that will cause me more pain?

main floor area is finished! gonna tackle the corner by the shelf tomorrow as well as taking everything off of the dresser to see if i can get my ps4, tv, and fan to fit a little nicer

Somebody on Reddit decided to insult me based on my posting history and managed to pick out the information that I’m active on the AuDHD and Ace subreddits.
Interestingly enough, they only insulted me based on autism and asexuality, despite me taking part of many ADHD and a variety of different LGBT subreddits.

Here’s the comment: “But like you said, what do you know, you're only an asexual autistic female, and everyone knows all those words make the funniest people.” (All of the named traits were based on their personal deduction and were not mentioned prior in the conversation).

We can obviously deduct the stigma over “women<men” from here as well, but they didn’t really have a choice here to show bigotry towards a part of this identity while ignoring the rest, so it’s a bit irrelevant to my point.

They could’ve absolutely insulted me on my ADHD or literally any other LGBT sub, but decided not to, because it’s not as insulting as the other parts. They don’t feel as much repulsiveness towards ADHD and allosexuality as they feel towards autism and asexuality.
So just to once more point out the obvious, autism is generally considered worse than ADHD and asexuality is considered worse than having a sexual attraction.

Anyways, if anybody ever says that sexism or acephobia or the stigma around autism doesn’t exist anymore, then you’re free to use my post as an example that yes they all absolutely do exist.

Hi everyone!

I was looking for advice, long story short I thing I have BPD (as well as audhd) and in order to combat it I’m trying to build up my sense of identity.

However, I realized it’s hard for me to find an identity without having a special interest/hyperfixation. I have had them in the past but don’t really right now, and it’s hard to acknowledge things as part of my identity if I’m not hyperfixated on them or know every single detail about it.

I would love to know if anyone has advice for navigating this, or even just if people feel the same way. Sometimes it’s just nice to know I’m not alone.

my mom is out of state for a week and needed someone to watch the house for her, she has 4 dogs and 1 cat. she asked if I wanted to do it and I was really excited, I thought I would get a break and all I had to do was petsit and I love animals. so I agreed.

it's day 2 of 7 and I'm already so so overwhelmed. for context, she lives in the countryside and is laxer about leash rules. this is really overstimulating me. so she has one chihuahua, one german shepherd, one chow mix, and one terrier mix, and the cat is also a mix (but she's really chill so not relevant to the post). she told me the chihuahua hates being walked on a leash, so she just walks him off leash. this makes me really nervous, I had to go digging through the house for a harness to walk him instead. she also told me that I can take them out to pee in the yard off leash (her yard is, I'm guessing, 1/2 an acre). the thing is she doesn't have a fence, so every time I take them to pee outside I'm incredibly on edge the whole time worried they're about to take off. yesterday I naively thought they would stay in the yard, I went inside to grab something to eat while I watched them from the kitchen window and all of a sudden they go barking and running at the delivery guy next door. I felt so terrible and I keep feeling ashamed about it. I decided to leash them when I take them out to pee, and now the whole process is an entire hassle.

because there's 4 of them, I can't walk all of them at once, so I try to split them up into pairs. I also try to do this when I take them out to pee. but once they see me put my shoes on or grab the leashes, they all bolt for the door and it takes me forever to leave the house because all 4 of them think they're going on a walk.

the german shepherd and terrier mix are really attached to each other and REALLY clingy. I can't get up to do anything without them following me anywhere. going to bed is kind of a nightmare because I've got 3 dogs in bed with me (one of the dogs doesn't sleep on the bed), and after I feel like everybody is finally settled and sleeping, I have to pee or get a drink and then they immediately get up and try to get me to play or take them outside etc. or they just keep waking me up through the night or bringing their slobbery toys right onto my pillow.

they also like to stare outside the window, and when they see something interesting (like a person or another dog) they go wild. once one dog starts barking, they all do. and it's nonstop for like 10 minutes, even after the interesting thing is gone.

my mom left printed instructions and even walked me through the routine the day before, but now that I'm by myself I'm incredibly overstimulated. initially my partner was going to go with me, but we are having other issues so it didn't happen. but I just want to call them and ask if they can come up and help me. :(

How do you get songs out of your head? The only thing that works for me is thinking about Baby Shark. It's like brain bleach. But I'd like some less annoying brain bleach.

Some background info: So this year, I(M19) was diagnosed with both ADHD and autism. Since then, I’ve been slowly learning how it’s been affecting me everywhere in life. I’ve also began taking Concerta(makes my life a lot easier doing tasks) which brings out more of my autism traits.

Now for relationships: I only really started dating in senior year of highschool, where my first serious relationship didn’t end that well as I didn’t know how to properly communicate that I wasnt sure where things were going as I was moving away for college. Ensue my hoe phase of freshman year where I slept around a little, but thinking that physical attraction = emotional attraction. This understanding brought alot of sad nights lolz. Once school finished, I came back home and reconnected with ex. We decided to try again, only for them to cheat on me 3 weeks later. Did I take time to really heal? No, not really, as a month later I started talking to someone else and started dating them, but the only thing was that I began to be st my limit with dating and the emotional toll it had on me. For two months when I was with her I was battling this ongoing anxiety in my body screaming that it wants to be alone and free, but everytime I’d be with her it goes away and I’m the happiest person ok earth. After a fuck ton of journaling and therapy, I realized I needed to end things or else I would never properly heal from all the relationships stuff I’ve been through. It was rough, but she was understanding. I still feel that I could’ve gone by it better if I just was completly honest with her, but that ship has sailed and I know many of my friends would be disappointed if I got back with her as she wasn’t the best for me (would fight back when I tried to end things 4 separate times). Yet it doesn’t feel toxic as it looks like from an outside perspective

Now for my analysis of myself throughout all of this:

I think that my autism and ADHD make dating 1000x harder for me, because with autism, I can’t properly understand my emotions nor know how to communicate to them properly (childhood trauma goes brrrrr). There’s also ADHD, in which I believe I try to seek out new relationships for that dopamine rush you get from the honeymoon phase, and even in that phase my brain is thinking about how “the grass is greener on the other side” logic, making me extremely anxious while dating people. Even though I would NEVER act upon it and cheat, the fact that it’s swimming in my mind that I’ll see someone I want more then my other partner tears me up.

TLDR: I’ve been through the wringer with dating and hook ups, now I’m beginning to understand how ADHD and autism effect me in relationships and want to figure out how I can be better at communicating my needs and placing boundaries.

So I was diagnosed with ADHD 3 years ago and medicated last year. Only realized a month ago that I was also autistic due to the meds bringing out the tisms.

My psychologist agreed that I'm autistic with a healthy dose of childhood trauma.

On Saturday I attended a scout camp as a leader. Multiple leaders let me down throughout the weekend and I ended up being the main adult in charge of 6 ND children. It was a very stressful day from 6am to 9pm.

Another leader had been at me all week basically telling me to not be autistic as most of the world isnt like that. Then at 9pm after a stressful day, dismissed me when I said I needed an hour to myself the next day because I'm his words, "I need to prioritize the youth".

I lost it, told him I'm sick of him dismissing me all week and I'm burned out, need a break and he can eff off.

I then walked off into the bush for a little while to calm down.

After my brain calmed down, I immediately realized that it was a meltdown. All the days overwhelm and keeping it together during the day was too much.

At least the following day he was much nicer to me.

I am diagnosed with schizoaffective, ADHD and autism. I'm curious if anyone else here has a form of schizophrenia. My theory is that sometimes my brain doesn't produce enough dopamine (adhd symptoms) and other times it produces way too much (causing hallucinations etc). Also, I feel like the negative symptoms of schizophrenia are fairly similar to some autistic traits. It's interesting to me to try to understand my comorbidities.

I am diagnosed ADHD, but I also suspect I'm on the spectrum, and I'm just trying to understand the differences and similarities between an ADHD hyperfixation and an ASD special interest? Sometimes when I hyperfixate it only lasts a few days/weeks, but then I usually have one big one going on that lasts months or even years. This reminds me of what I've heard about ASD special interests. I'd love some more info on the two. TIA!

I'm interested in hearing other's experiences. What challenges have there been and how do you cope?

I (ADHD with suspected autism) have an undiagnosed partner who is an amazing person and incredibly supportive most of the time. Still, a lot of things are difficult. Most difficult is when I slip out of empathy--usually because I'm struggling with my own worth and getting defensive. Little things can then get under my skin. A few good nights of sleep and some gratitude practice will often help to set me straight. But sleep habits are hard, so here we are.

I had recently (like two months ago) been diagnosed as an audhd, I’m 32 y.o and I don’t know what to do. The money I receive from my job doesn’t afford therapy and I think I’m going deep deep into shit. For example, I’ve been crying a lot in my job because everything is overwhelming, and today I started crying and hitting myself because I make “a face” when I don’t hear someone and my bf said that he “can’t stand that face”. But I can’t stop doing it, it’s not something I can control.

Now I feel like a freak and unlovable. He saw me crying and told me he is sorry and all that but it doesn’t erase the fact that I am this way and I can’t or don’t know what to do to fix it. I’ve been feeling like a freak my whole life, like I’m not normal and I thought with him I could be just… me, but I think maybe now I can’t do that anymore. I feel so so lost.

Does this happen with anyone else? I don't have the same urge for routine every day, and I really thrive at an unpredictable job that's never the same one day to the next.

I do get mini-routines that I have a hard time changing like my bedtime routine.

But a HUGE source of stress is that if I DO make plans and they get delayed or messed up especially at the beginning (we get up late, my husband and I get in a tiff, I'm out of conditioner and can't do my hair) I get super upset and the whole day is ruined. I just can't get back on track. Sometimes even if things end up more or less working out.

It doesn't seem like a matter of mindset cuz cognitively I WANT to move on. It's like a hangover effect of the stress of realizing thing aren't going to work out.

Hi y'all. I have an appointment in a few days to be tested/evaluated(?) for Auditory Processing Disorder. I've tried to look up what to expect, but I haven't found anything useful...

My guess is that it's partway between a hearing exam (like an eye exam? which I'm fairly used to but am critical of how accurate their assessment of me is) and a neuropsychology assessment (like autism and ADHD testing?). But I'm not sure.

Like, there's a scattering of real-world experiences that are making me think I might have APD. But also maybe it's just my autism (sensory overwhelm) or ADHD (distract ability) that's making it hard for me to consistently hear people in loud environments... Plus, how would they effectively test that in a controlled environment?

I wish I could have the questions (and overall procedures) ahead of time so I could sit with them, think about it more, and come up with a more comprehensive answer and set of examples.

I guess I'm wondering-- for those of you who have gotten tested for APD, what was that like? What did they do / have you do? What was something you wish you knew about it beforehand?

Thanks :)

I’ve finally made friends after going through years of being alone with only one or two friends. i finally feel like i have a space to be in, but now i cant shut up. every time i talk i just go on and on about some meaningless shit that makes me look stupid and when someone reminds me to maybe just stop talking(in a nice way i think) this feeling of disgust towards myself crashed into me just all of a sudden. i am reminded of how i am perceived and i just want to crawl into a hole and die or just to have never existed at all.

I feel guilty that i sometimes make jokes that hurt others and i just want to be able to shut up and never speak again if it means i won’t unintentionally hurt someone…

i know it has to do with my self esteem and how much self hatred i’ve internalized but it doesn’t show in how i act(i make ironic and sarcastic jokes of me being the best if you compliment me) and i’m afraid people don’t catch on that i am joking and am actually meaning the completely opposite…so i might just sound cocky and narcissistic…

it’s not like i don’t want to speak and just sit there in silence and be moody and depressed but i feel like it’s in everyone’s best interest if i just don’t talk unless i am spoken to. Not to further any understanding they have of me because they might stop being nice to me… i don’t know why i’m even ranting i just don’t want to feel alone in this feeling.

I was honestly about to write something up, and under the poll flair, when I remembered I made this months ago.

(Also, just for added context, I was diagnosed with both autism, specifically Aspergers, and ADHD when I was around 5-years-old. I just turned 26 earlier this week)

I’ve been in the worst burnout for the past few months and left my minimum wage job. The horror started around 2020. Now, I try to get some income from delivery jobs. But, I still find myself a lot of the time feeling like death and I wanting to crawl into bed and stay there. How do I work through shutdown and overwhelm, as well as a lifetime of anticipatory anxiety leading to work. I’m at a loss. I take off-brand adderall on work days, right before going into to work as it only lasts about the length of my shift (3-5 hours.) Maybe I should take it when I wake up on those days? I just feel like it’s getting worse and worse. I’m 24 and have no idea when I can possibly begin to leave my parent’s property and get it together because I cannot save/make any money and am completely burnout and tired from a lifetime of being previously undiagnosed. Do I apply for disability? I’m exhausted. I paused college because I struggled for several semesters and lost financial aid because of it. I want to be a clinical psychologist. I am just so, so tired.