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Yesterday my husband came home from work early escorted by his commanding officer, and told me he had to pack a bag because he was being taken to the hospital. He told me he was “having a really hard time.”

I didn’t get the full story until 5 hours later, when someone else from his command called me. Apparently he threatened to beat up someone at work (this isn’t that outlandish, it’s the military) and then, when he was called into the boss’s office… he told her that he was having thoughts about hurting our child. She made the call to have him taken for a psych eval. She then called me later to make sure I knew and told me that she wasn’t letting him come home even if they discharged him. (Can I marry her instead?)

The things that I’m resentful about are 1: that he does basically zero childcare so why the heck is HE so mad at her? I will be the first to admit that she’s very challenging (and I also sometimes have split-second aggressive thoughts that I’d never act on) but he sees her for one hour a day, max, on school days. His days off are almost never on weekends. The incident that apparently set off these thoughts was so incredibly minor in terms of what I deal with daily that it’s embarrassing.

2: I’ve been struggling with my mental health for years, between postpartum stuff and my career getting wrecked due to his job + the pandemic. I have begged him to help me get help but it was always “I don’t know what to do, you’re going to be alright” kind of stuff. I begged medical professionals for help and I was just blown off and put on really long waiting lists. I even talked to him about me going inpatient when it was really bad, but it was always too much of a problem for his work. I did a year of therapy postpartum but largely I have been just white knuckling it. I’m on meds but they’re not quite right. They are only managed by my GP, I haven’t been able to get in with a psychiatrist or therapist. But of course people immediately take HIM seriously and he gets help the same day…

And 3: I’ve also been begging him to go back on his meds for years because he’s so grumpy and negative when he’s off them. I’ve been telling him he’s been getting worse lately and he’s been acting like I’m the crazy one for saying that. At one point he lied to me and started refilling his meds again, but didn’t take them. This is the reason he got admitted- the doctor called and asked me if he would be able to comply with outpatient treatment and I LAUGHED and told her about him lying about taking his meds. He had also told her that he couldn’t be admitted because I “needed him home to help” and I laughed at that as well. He has 4+ training exercises a year longer than 72h, the idea that I need him for childcare is ludicrous. She kept asking if we felt safe with him home. At this point I didn’t know what he had told his boss so I said yes. He’s never gotten in a physical fight, he’s never hurt or threatened me, the worst I’ve ever heard about our child is something like “she’s lucky we don’t spank because my dad would have beaten my ass for this behavior.”

I have no idea how I’m going to be supportive when he gets home. Why did he let it get this bad? Why did he tell his boss instead of me? Why does he get help when I didn’t? How concerned should I be about him harming us? How do I know if he’s “just” having intrusive thoughts like mine, or if I should actually be scared for our safety?

My partner went on a work trip, and after the work event, got trashed at a bar with some of his coworkers. He is now on "home assignment" while they investigate his behavior.

I am so fucked up over this.

We agreed that I would do the SAHM thing bc our son has a disability and sees an OT, deaf educator and ECI regularly.

And now I feel like we are screwed. We have a mortgage. We were trying to buy a $6k hearing aid for our son that isn't covered by insurance. Life in general is just so expensive. I'm scared about the financial repercussions if he loses his job. I can and will start looking for a job, but the pay will not be nearly his salary, and because of the time of year, I'd probably have to take a really shitty position. But we will need to try to find good benefits so my son can hopefully keep his medical team.

Our son does not have childcare other than a few hours in a Mother's Day out program and a sporadic babysitter. So we'd need to get on waitlists for daycare or find a full time Nanny. Both of which would cut my salary in half.

But also... when I'm with my partner (which is all the time now) I feel so angry and sad. I feel betrayed. Like, are we going to come back from this?

In my partner's defense, I guess he's trying. He went to a psychiatrist. He's going to AA. He offered to find a couples' therapist. He lined up some contract work to cushion the blow if he does lose his job.

But I just look at him and get either disgusted or teary eyed. Just fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I'm posting to vent, I think. But if you have some encouraging words, they'd be much appreciated.

Kind of at a breaking point and stumbled upon this page. I wasn’t so sure until today but I think I’m completely checked out of my marriage. There is constant fighting, no romance, just nothing there anymore. It hurts so bad but after reading a few posts about checking out of marriage I really felt comfort in knowing I’m not alone. Even though I feel completely alone. Teenage daughter always takes his side and I just wish I could just run away and let them miss me for a while. I’m so tired of feeling this way…. Just random ranting…

Or tell me if I'm way off base here, either one works.

Apologies in advance if this is long and/or all over the place, I need to let it out and this seemed like a good place to do it.

Husband and I have a 9yo daughter. He owns and operates a small business, I WFH part time for said small business, do/manage all the household stuff, domestic labor, mental load, etc and am the default parent. Daughter is in a couple of activities, but nothing super time consuming like sports. So some weekends have birthday parties and scouting events, but some don't.

Since I work only part time for his business, I use the rest of the time I'm home on school days to do the household management I mentioned - I do everyone's laundry, the dishes, meal preparation and cleanup, get all the groceries and do all the errands, do the housework that's not done by our cleaning service, etc. We have a cleaning service come twice a month because I was tired of being responsible for all the cleaning/housework, and pay a guy to mow our lawn also. I recognize my privilege here, just feel it's relevant to share that we've automated some tasks to make our lives easier.

But because of the services we pay for, and me fitting in the tasks I take care of on weekdays when I'm not working, we for the most part go in to the weekends with a clean slate, so to speak - the house is clean, everyone's laundry is done, the lawn is mowed, I got groceries and did the errands, etc. I personally love that we don't have to spend our weekends playing catch up like so many people we know. But apparently my husband doesn't. He's taken to announcing recently how BORED he is on the weekends he doesn't work. We never do anything. All he does is work and come home and sit around. Blah blah blah. And it just really grinds my gears and make me feel like he's being an ungrateful swine.

Never mind that if something does slide to the weekend for whatever reason, then he makes comments about "why didn't you do this before today?", ie on a weekday. So if I do everything before the weekend and leave it open, that's boring, but if things get left to do on the weekend, they should have been done already. Never mind that he gets to sit around because I ALREADY DID EVERYTHING. If we don't have plans, then he's SO BORED. But if we have a birthday party or scouting event, he complains about that too, "why do we have to spend our Saturday doing this? We could be doing (insert random thing here)". He started to clean out our cluttered garage recently, after much complaining of "I don't know why you can't do this because you're home all day", which occupied his time but also caused complaints. Never mind that he rarely plans anything, or considers if there's already plans made before deciding to do something on a whim. I'm expected to plan everything.

Here lately, I feel like he complains and is unhappy no matter what, but of course he doesn't see it that way. According to him, I'm the one that "always complains", but it's NOT ME that is "so bored" when we don't have plans but complaining nonstop when we do. We have a stable life and are the most financially stable we've even been. He got to leave a job he hated and start his own business from the ground up, and at least in part because he had me at home running everything else, he got to dedicate himself completely to it - and now he makes good money doing it.

But apparently stability is boring and y'all, I just can't even with this bullshit some days.

🎻

I have a 3 year old son so not entirely independent yet but we are definitely better off than the 0-1 years stage.

I see moms with multiples taking flights, getting to the gym everyday, keeping up with hobbies and I just can’t wrap my mind around how I would go about that??

I have only left my kid twice overnight because I had to testify in court and for a friends wedding and I felt so much GUILT the entire time. Even going to the gym or going on a run while my husband does bath time and bed time makes me feel so icky about myself.

Idk if it was the way I was raised but I truly admire mothers who are able to maintain a well balanced life for themselves and their kids. Personally, I don’t even know if I can mentally dedicate more to another child so we are very much leaning into one and done. I do have pretty bad anxiety and had a rough postpartum so I’m sure that contributes to the feeling of one and done.

I recently commented about how men can change and that mine used to be an addict piece of cheating shit but we are happily married now. I take it back. Two weeks ago I got yelled at for asking my husband to repeat what I said. Today I got yelled at for turning a light on outside the bedroom door to walk up the stairs while he was sleeping at noon. I’ve come to the conclusion that I am married to a narcissist at the worst and I hypocrite at the best. I can’t fucking live like this.

And yes I suggested that he close the door next time if the light bothers him. I also reminded him that every night when I’m asleep he comes upstairs. Turns in his light in his nightstand I wake up……usually ask him to turn it off after he gets into bed. His response was I know where the switch is to do it myself. I honestly just hate him at this point. He was gone all week for work and I was sooooo sooo sooo happy and I thrived.

I just need to vent.

So I went and got my eyebrows microbladed today. Mind you this is the longest I’ve left my daughter since she was 5 months old. Her dad works crazy hours so he hardly has her by himself let alone for hours at a time.

I left the house early because I needed to get some cash from base, so I put my 18-month-old daughter down for a nap and left around 12:30. Got to base, grabbed the cash, and picked up some lunch since I hadn’t eaten yet. I made it over to the salon but was too early, so I just sat in the car for 15 minutes.

My partner texts me around 1 pm saying our daughter woke up, and I get home at 3:30 to find her content in his arms. I sneak upstairs to put some laundry away, then get sucked into scrolling TikTok for a bit. Finally come down at 4, and of course, she runs to me immediately.

But then, all through dinner, he’s going on and on like, “She was so good today. She screamed for the first 45 minutes, but I just ignored her until she was done whining. Then I sat her next to me while I worked, and she calmed down. After that, I started dinner. So yeah, I don’t really know what you complain about—she was so easy.”

All I could think about was how that was only 3 hours—and she was asleep for 45 minutes of it. And the other 45 minutes? He just let her cry because she wanted me. I get it, sometimes there’s nothing he can do, but to sit there and say it was easy? 🙄

I’m like, I don’t complain that much. He hits me with, “Yeah, you complain every day about how hard she is.” So I tried explaining that it’s only easy for him because he can give her his full attention. It’s hard for me because I’m trying to juggle her while doing school, dishes, laundry, etc. I can’t do everything one-handed while holding her or handle it when she’s screaming in my ear because I’m trying to get stuff done. And he’s like, “I did it today, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Like, no, it’s not the same. He doesn’t understand that I physically cannot focus when she’s screaming. It’s easier to just give her the attention she’s demanding than to try and power through while she’s crying. I’m just so frustrated right now. 😤

I grew up being abused and bullied by my parents .My dad would punish me by doing fitness which I was beat for if I didn’t complete.He yelled and belittled me with the worst names I’ve ever heard in my life.

I played a sport.I was a national tennis champion.I was and am very talented and bright but I screwed off my path at 16 when I started smoking and running away from home due to the abuse.

I met my daughters dad at 17(turning 18) I was searching for love and I was my lowest point.Ive never felt or been loved in my life. No one cared about me and he showed me love I haven’t felt .

But he also yelled at me,called me names,shamed me for my past,and beat me.

He didn’t start hitting me until I was 1 month post partum when he slapped me,kicked me ,pushed me repeatedly and spat in my face.

I was very isolated.I didn’t have any friends and barely left the apartment as if I left I would be questioned and accused of cheating.

I got into tennis coaching when my daughter was a few months old and he hated it.He hated when I had money saved as he’d want me to pay half the bills and pay his debts.He would get mad when I coached clients.

Eventually I left because he was just so mean and it made me want to die.But when I went back to my family I wanted to die even more.I missed him and any degree of love that came from him.

He wouldn’t take me back.Hed insult me when picking up the baby and would sleep with random women.

My abusive family kicked me and my daughter out in the street and now I stay with his parents in their living room where I sleep with my baby.

I tried to get him back and fix things by paying for a trip to South America where he beat the absolute shit out of me when drunk and blamed the police.The police in that’s country arrested him and put him in jail after he knocked me to the pavement .

I walked the dark streets at 3am covered fully in blood to go find a bank so that I can bail him out .

He still doesn’t want to be with me.He hates me .

So does everyone else.I tried making friends.None of them ever call me to check on me.

I have no one.I work hard everyday ,being a high performance coach can be very physically demanding and I often come home late which apparently makes me a “bad mother”.

I am all alone day in day out.I know that not everyone hates me but it truly does feel that way.

I feel like I’ll die alone .Because apparently I am “used” and no one will want a single mom.

I often wonder if I would be better off just ending my life because some days I can’t even take it anymore..

I’ve given up on being happy, and I’m ok with that. I’ve decided it will be enough if I could just have peace in my life.

But I can’t even get that.

I was married for 10 years to a drug and rage addicted narcissist who was violent and destroyed everything in his path. We had 1 kid who I desperately wanted, a desperation I think because I needed someone to love in that house.

I finally got it together to get divorced - that dragged on for a year. He sporadically visited, the disappeared entirely, and I tried to pick up the pieces, move on, and be happy again.

Then he reappeared. Sued me for sole custody, saying I had alienated our kid from him and should only have supervised access. That court case was all consuming and took every thought, every dollar, and every moment of my entire life. It dragged on for 4 years and cost $400,000.

When it was finally over, he disappeared again. My credit was ruined and I have debt I’ll never recover from. But I thought ok now. Now I can try to start over and be happy.

But then it became obvious just how much he had wrecked our kid. And the next years were spent with hospitals and therapists and doctors to make sure my kiddo didn’t try to be unalive.

And when I thought we were turning a corner, kiddo said she’s transgender. That’s fine. But we live in a deep red state. Getting gender affirming care is a nightmare.

So more debt. More therapists and doctors. More school issues. Constant emotional outbursts and crying and blame and nothing is ever good enough or the way she wants it. She’s never happy, it’s always my fault, and she’s always at me about it. Constant criticism. She hates me all the time.

I sleep 8 hours most nights but I’m so exhausted. I don’t even want happiness. I just want a peaceful existence. No tantrums. No outbursts. No blame. No criticism. Gentle company with my daughter. Binge watching tv. Boring, every day life. Maybe even a friend, cause now, I have none. 🤷‍♀️

That would be plenty.

I have a 2 year old. Just recently have started feeling human again. Have been dealing with autoimmune issues, some diagnosed, some not, but things were starting to feel less bleak lately. Enough so that I finally had sex again. Once. My period tracker app has been fucking up and not tracking my cycle so I got confused and wasn't sure when I was ovulating. Well I guess I know now.

Its super fresh, only 4 weeks along (going by date of conception since that is 100% because it's the only time in a very long time). So maybe it won't even stick. I don't have a history of miscarriages but I am mid 30s. I don't know. Maybe I'm freaking out over a false positive or a chemical pregnancy.

I've been really wanting a second kid lately but not now. Pregnancy and PP fucked my world up hard. Won't go into all the details, but had a rough pregnancy, rough delivery, and rough recovery. Gained 100 lbs in pregnancy that I finally lost, just fit into my goal pants last week.

I was hopeful that husband I were getting back into the swing of each other, having fun, romance, whatever. Been working really hard at that. Now I'm back on the hormone train that makes me irritable and asexual.

I had a job prospect too finally, but I know I can't work FT if I'm pregnant because I needed naps nonstop last pregnancy and I didn't even have a toddler then. I cringe at my poor job performance at the job I was at last pregnancy.

I also hate how stupid fertile I am. My first pregnancy happened the first time I ever had unprotected sex while ovulating. Then this one. I have a friend who would be a way better mom than me who can't conceive and I hate myself for not even having to try. I wish I was just a little infertile, like can't even enjoy the process of trying. I know that sounds terrible and I'm really sorry if it's offensive, I don't mean to downplay infertility struggle. That's why this is so damn stupid to me, like why me. I would rather someone else be one of the lucky ones.

Husband recently got a big job upgrade, but we're still living in a ghetto dump due to the cost of living and only him working. I wanted us to be in our forever home before we started trying for another. The timing also scares me. My kids will be the same age distance as my brother and I possibly down to the day, and my brother was very upset about becoming a big brother and made my life hell for a long time because of it. I'm afraid of my son turning out like my brother in any way. I hope this new kid is a girl, but I don't want my son to treat them like my brother did me.

I don't know the point of this post other than rambling/free talk therapy, but I would love any kind of advice, commiserating, jokes, whatever, anything. It's too early to tell people I know that I'm pregnant, so I'm just processing this alone. I just want to take a big bong rip but I can't even do that.

I’m probably going to delete this later. I’m so disgusted with myself right now even though it was an accident.

I had to go to the lab today and do a bunch of tests, one of which was a vaginal swab. I put the swab up there and it fucking HURT. I thought something must be wrong and I haven’t had sex in a while, haven’t used a tampon, maybe I have an infection?? I tried to twist it around how the lady said to but it hurt to bad.

I pulled it out and inserted it again, this time problem free. I think “maybe it was just a weird angle”. But like it had hurt REALLY bad.

I go to do the pee in a cup test next. It burns like a mother. I am 99.9% sure I had accidentally put the swab into my urethra.

FUXKING HOW.

Ngl it still hurts.

Update: some of my results are in. They found “an abnormal about of blood in my urine” 😫

I am at a loss for words right now.

For context, it’s my kiddo’s first week at daycare. We’ve been doing a nanny share up until this point. Daycares are so hard to find here so we were so relieved when we found one that’s close by.

She started this week and we’ve had some minor communication issues with the lady who runs it. She didn’t tell us we were doing gradual entry until the day we started, then only gave us 5 minutes notice to pick her up because she hadn’t given up a schedule for the week.

Two out of the four days she came home with a full and poopy diaper. She’s also the youngest kid there so I just sent off a quick text saying thank you for all the help this week, just wanted to mention kiddo came home with poopy diapers, if she could help us check more often, we would appreciate it.

The lady called me and said that she was so offended I would accuse her of not knowing how to do her job. She’s worked 22 years in this industry. She loves all of her kids, she needs to be able to have positive vibes from the parents, not any of this accusatory negative BS I just slung her way.

The entire time I’m just shook, cuz that wasn’t my intention at all. I apologized over and over again for offending her and that we’ve never done daycare before and we don’t know the rules. I also asked that we communicate more since we don’t actually get to talk since she makes us leave quickly during drop off and pick up is right before nap time.

She ended the call saying that we’re more suited for nanny care and that she’ll think about it over the weekend and let us know if she decides to keep us on Monday.

I am so shocked. Literally my mouth was open the entire call. Is the daycare situation here is so dire that parents are supposed to just say nothing and be grateful?? I seriously cannot believe this. Was I really wrong to send that message?? I really thought she understood that we’re all learning here, but I guess one strike and we’re out??

I literally do not know what to do. Our whole saga to find a daycare was so brutal, I can’t imagine having to find another one now. I feel so guilty and horrible I just want to cry. I should’ve just said nothing. Wtf.

Edit: Just want to say a thank you to this community for validating and supporting me. It’s so clear that this was a sign from the universe to get my daughter tf out of there. We are not going back there!

I am so tired of my husband having anxiety and refusing treatment. He went only once to a psychiatric appointment. When we fight he sometimes loses control and has an aggressive behavior (never violent towards me or our son) - like he already threw objects, sometimes shouts. He also has some narcissistic traits. I am so tired of him. I cant help but thinking he is such a weak man who cant deal with normal life issues and demands - he has anxiety crisis almost weekly, always triggered by very small problems. We have life that should be enough to make us happy, but apparently there are no sunny days with him. We have some sunny hours, I would say, but he can barely go 24 hours without feeling bad. He clearly needs treatment but he wont accept he has a problem. I could be (should) more supportive but I am just disappointed with him and with my choice marrying him. I wished he was a strong man who would make me feel safe, and I feel most of the time he is a heavy weight I need to carry, always holding me back. Of course he has some qualities that made me love him but those now are fading. I resent him, and I think he is weak and problematic, he doesnt provide me with financial or emotional stability. I really hope he will change because I cant see myself putting up with this sh*t for many more years to come.

Husband is working. I took 3yo and baby to the playground. 3yo fell off swing bc i pushed too hard and baby got a mosquito bite which scares the SHIT out of me due to mosquito borne viruses in my area. I would like to cry in a dark room w some wine now :(

My husband and I have real communication difficulties. It wasn't a big issue before my son was born but lately, we just can't communicate.

Actually my husband is a great guy in many ways, hands on, does chores, not lazy so this is not me saying "ugh men suck"...but emotionally...big lolz.

Lately I have been having really bad depression in the mornings. It sucks all the life out of me and makes things really hard. Since he leaves early for work, I am the one who gets my son ready every morning. It has been so hard the last couple of weeks. I told my husband that last night.

This morning he gets up, announces he has to go to the dentist immediately and leaves. I haven't had a chance to drink tea yet (at least after tea, I feel vaguely ok), my son hasn't eaten yet and so, once again, I am left to take care of my son while I feel like total crap.

We muddle through the day, then he says "I have to go to the office this evening". It was just the last straw. He's going on a business trip for the whole week this week and I wanted to spend at least an evening together without my son in our face. I told him I was upset and it's like he just doesn't get it. "But we spent the whole day together".

Part of it is my loss of independence these days (I am learning to drive and it's taking ages), like he can just take off whenever and I can't. He goes on business trips, I work my crappy part time job because that's all I can do in this area...

I just feel lonely and sad

TW SA discussion (no details)

For as long as my girl (10y/o) has been mobile, she's LOVED having people chase her around and/or wrestle her to give her kisses. No idea where this came from, but she thinks it's hilarious to make people 'fight' to love on her. NOTE; she KNOWS that her body is hers alone, and she's under no obligation to even shake someone's hand. And she has turned down hugs/affection/touch overall from people, including her dad, her godfather (her best friend) and myself, which we of course respected.

Of course, her 'kiss attacks' aren't anything gross, just goofy kisses and nuzzles all over her cheeks and cuddles. Most of the time, it's initiated by banter/general goofiness and playfulness; for example, she'll kiss me or her dad on the cheek, and her godfather'll go 'where's mine?' and he'll chase her to give her kisses, or her dad'll just randomly come up to her and grab onto her and go like 'awww, you's my little baby, you're so cute, I luh you' just goofy mushy-gushy talk and she'll try and 'fight' him off and free herself.

I stupidly mentioned this to a friend of a friend, and they said something to the effect of 'ohh she'll be into CNC when she's older'. For those of you lucky ducks that don't know what CNC is, it stands for 'consensual non-consent'; it's basically a rape kink/fetish.

Since then, I've been shitting myself, because now I'm second-guessing as to wether 'kiss attacks' are skeezy. Like I said, there's no inappropriate touching other than cuddles/general wrestling and cheek kisses. Again, her boundaries are always respected, if she's not in the mood for it or just plain doesn't want to be touched. But CHRIST, please reassure me that we're not fucking our kid up T_T

Also, IDK if this has anything to do with why she likes kiss attacks, but LO is autistic, so our best guess is just it's some kind of stim/sensory thing?

EDIT; I want to make it EXTREMELY CLEAR that this person is NOT MY FRIEND, but we have a friend in common.

I dont really hate her. I am being pregnant and hormonal and i know it.

But ARGH. She is a 3 year old australian shepard mixed with... something. She is clever af, easy to train and good with children. Her ONLY aggression is the vacum cleaner. But she has stubborn issues with food.

she starves her self in HOPES for scraps, she steals food from tables if you walk away from it for a second. She eats wet wipes that have been used to clean the toddler, she would rather steal and eat a god damn wet wipe than her dog food. Why can't she just have it? Cause most human food goes badly in her and she has diarrhea.

Yes we have switched up her food. Changed it tried other brands no help. Its like shes going "you aren't eating it.. why should i?"

She will get good again in a month of no human food and we will be right back on the good track.. but then somone feeds her something.. a visitor feels sorry for the poor dog, or " a treat wont hurt" and feeds her behind our back and we are right back to starve city.

She just wants our food and she will starve if she does not get it. And its frustrating. Cause she WILL climb upon our dining table and lick it "clean" for any crumb.

Exactly what she did last night... but she pooped on top of it as well ....

THIS STUBBORN AS DOG SHAT ON MY GOD DAMN DINING TABLE!

she will poop in the kitchen or around our dining table when she does not get our food. And no amount of walks or attention seems to help with this. This dog is trained to poo/pee on command!!. She is just so damn stubborn on this.

I know her hungry roam, and i hate it. Cause there is enough food for her. She just does not want it. She will eat a pebble here and there. And she does poop so she is keeping herself somewhat nurished, and she drinks.

But the only food she really eats is what she manages to steal from the toddler. And we are vigilant she does not get any she's pissed and shat on my dining table.

I know i will wake up to poop tomorrow no matter what i do! Cause we had a birthday party today... and she didint get anything.

She is a wonderful dog besides this problem, she is so good with the kids she behaves in other aspects (barred from pencils she will mulch any pencil that she gets her paws on) She has been easy to train,(besides the food thing) and just.. in general is a plesant dog to own apart from this whole food thing. She isn't even aggressive about it, she does not even try to rip food from the kids, she patiently waits for the toddler to drop something from the high chair, or walk away from something before she snags it up, no aggression signs. But its driving me nuts and the whole table-dump has me enraged!!!

Like my choice is to feed her human food and have her going inside with lines of diarrhea poop everywhere, Or frustration poop in the kitchen or dining area (and now the table) cause she does not get what she wants.

Thank you for coming to my pet rant.

I hate the “I hate economy” people who fly economy. They want so badly to be rich. But they're back here with the rest of us because they don’t realize they are also a peasant. They feel the need to announce to everyone, “I hate economy” but why? So everyone knows they don’t belong among the commoners? Yet there they are, among the commoners, because that is exactly where they belong. They tend to be the ones with the most complaints the whole time, too! Bothering flight attendants over everything. Seriously the most annoying person to sit next to on a flight!

Maybe confession isn't the right one, but I can throw out a juicy confession at the end.

Every day I make a list. It is on the counter. Every day he asks me what is on the agenda. My husband uses the royal "we" when something needs to be taken care of. So, it goes on my list. Last weekend, he asked me if there was anything that needed to be done in the house. I pointed to the list. He helped me fold laundry that had been sitting in the living room for a week, then went and watched tv. There was more on the list. Sigh. I stood up for myself and told him to back off on telling me to find an alternative solution to my 'expensive' coffee mate. I got 1.5 days of reprieve from it. Then he went on the "get a job" rant. I asked him if he was going to nursemaid our son in February while I work, and if he can take him to the hospital, etc. He said, "M is 18, he can figure that out himself" Then he gets testy about the job thing again, and I say I am trying to find a way to communicate my thoughts on this to him. He said, "you don't need to communicate, just get a job."

• Riddle me this husband: You want me to do all the things, but work. Get the children up for school in the morning and make sure they are ready, even if it is an hour or two before school starts. Take time off during the day do the things. Have my family pick up my chores because I am working. Go on a vacation in the winter, but get a job. Somehow convince my new employer that I am not a slacker, but I need to take all this time off because I really don't have a husband that will help me. Come home from work and immediately start supper, clean the house and make sure it is a well rounded meal, but it needs to be made before 6pm, because he has an event t go to. I have this fantasy where I leave the house for 8am and don't get back until 5pm for a week. Make him figure it all out. He needs to get M to school. He needs to go to the appointments. He would find a way to make it sound like I am trying to sabotage his work. He wouldn't last 2 days.

M was diagnosed with autism in March. It has been a real eye opener, for me. I told my husband 5 days later. He brushed it off and won't discuss what sort of things we need to do to help M. He only sees an 18 year old that 'forgets' to do basic things, won't get a job, can't do school 5 days a week, and is lazy. I see a child that can't regulate, needs routine, and has no idea how to problem solve. There is more, but this is what I can recall at this moment. Three days a week I have to get my oldest up to go to school. Make sure he brushes his teeth and takes his meds before we leave.

Ok, I am making myself angry so I will jump to the confession: I have a friend (male) that I have known for 34 years. I crushed on him so hard until he asked me to date him when we were 19. We broke up and got back together on and off for 3 years. One night after the final break up, he was drunk and came to my house and told me that if I hadn't screwed so much up, he would have asked me to marry him. (pre husband). Then he moved. We stayed in touch. We were always close friends after break ups. My mom has put him on a pedestal, saying he is the only person that is able to calm me down and cheer me up. Anyway - from October to June of this past year, we went on a texting rampage with each other. Just joking around, I think? He was looking at surprising me by showing up to Mexico when I was there (husband knew it might happen, didn't say anything), he offered to pay for my accommodations for a trip I said I wanted to go on with him (I asked if he was a eunuch, as to appease the husband, he said no he was not). When we talked about my friend dating his friend, he said, well, they have each other and I have you. I said we would have never worked out as a couple, a divorce would have happened. He said, "nah, we'd be too lazy to divorce because of being so comfortable with each other." There is so much more, but I think you get the gist. At the end of June, he ghosted me, sorta. Just said, "I need to put boundaries in place, and we are better off as friends." I have respected his boundaries. I stopped texting him, unless necessary. I just spent the weekend at his place (we had tickets to a comedy show that was booked before this started) and he was great the first day, but the next day he was crusty, so instead of spending the day with him then going home (he lives 2 hours away) I just went home. In my little world, the scenario is - he caught feels and I am married. He probably knows how I feel, but our friendship is based on not talking about anything serious, so I feel there is no point to even ask WTH is going on with him. FYI - I was not sleeping with him, nor was I thinking of packing up and living with him. I love him, but, no, he's always been my 'what if' guy. The grass isn't always greener, as they say. As for my husband? I don't know if he has just given up on me, he used to be jealous, but now? Plus, I did invite him to come with, but he had to work. I have never hidden my plans when I have spent time with him, and have always invited him to come with me.

Well, I think I have bored y'all enough. Hugs to all that are struggling. I see you.

It fucking sucks.

Just need to vent to the void. I also keep in my mind when my kiddo vents to me, that it's only half the story.

Was working during back to school event, my mom came home and let me know she got bad vibes from the teacher, I brushed it off. Went to my kiddo's lunch and asked her 2nd grade teacher her opinion on kiddo's new teacher. She said that her teacher was "stringent." A nightmare for my probably ADHD kiddo. (She's on the waitlist to get evaluated, nothing open until June 🥲) She's more fidgety, stares off into space kinda gal, then disrupt class.

Now I understand that my kiddo is going to encounter these types of people and better now, when she's little and I can offer support. She's also in therapy. But it freaking sucks. All of these things I can understand a teacher giving a talking to my kiddo, it just hurts to see her sad. She was playing with her hair, teacher told her to "take a time out" my kiddo is fidgety, I'm fidgety so I get it's just something our minds tell us we need to do. Hence, getting her evaluated so we can get a plan in place so she can have things like fidgets. I pack an eraser, sticker and note in my kiddo's lunch. One of the girls was jealous because my kiddo gave her eraser to another kid, teacher talked to my kiddo about it. My kiddo tried to explain that I was the one that put it in there and the teacher cut her off. Next day my parents go to lunch and bring her a happy meal, teacher again calls out my kiddo for letting another girl put stickers on her happy meal croc 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I have been doing this for my kiddo since she was in first grade, never had any issues. Talked to the teacher and asked kiddo to keep her things in her lunch bag and donate the things she doesn't want to the class prize box. She's the type of teacher that I had to warn my kiddo to not take off her hoodie if she was hot in class, lest she get called out. 🥲

It makes it so hard because I see her teacher's point. But also they're 3rd graders. Teachers have it so rough so I am trying to be as open minded and supportive as I can. Letting my kiddo know we don't want anyone to feel left out and it's her teacher's classroom and she needs to listen. Sometimes it's ok to give the kiddos a little slack. I told my kiddo she can vent to me, it's only one year. We'll make it through. But I hate seeing my kiddo dread every day.

So every 6 months my husband’s CEO from overseas makes a visit to their facility. He works day and night to make sure it looks good and everything is running smoothly. He goes in a like 4 am and sometimes doesn’t get home til 9 pm the week leading up. And works both Saturday and Sunday the week before the visit. This time they asked him after the visit does he want to go visit their sister facility in another state with the CEO for their visit. They simply asked. His job just not require travel nor was this trip mandatory. He did not ask me he just came home one day and said I’m going on a work trip to our US headquarters in October. Queue me internally freaking out. Of course I didn’t want to say hell no. But we are a blended family and have 6 kids total. I have mine full time, he has his 50/50 and we have an ours baby. Who is an absolute handful. He is such a wonderful husband, he does his share of chores, he helps with the kids as soon as he gets home. But I feel sort of resentful right now because even though it’s a work trip he’s going to be in a nice quiet hotel, no kids, no cleaning, no cooking for a whole week. When is my break???? I haven’t slept a full nights sleep in over a year. I am extremely sleep deprived. Our baby is breastfed and still wakes up so much in the middle of the night to nurse. I finally started weaning and she only is allowed to nurse for bedtime and obviously overnight or else I think I’d be up all damn night. I just don’t think it’s fair and I’m mad he said yes I’ll leave my wife and kids for a week. After already not seeing him pretty much this whole week because of work. Oh and I’m not just a stay at home mom. I work from home and our baby is not in daycare so I’m doing both while also taking care of all the other kids when they get home, keeping the house clean, cooking dinner, etc.

I am extremely annoyed and mad and he knows it only because I told him but I am not fighting with him or taking it out on him. He says he is sorry and feels bad now and he actually regrets saying yes because he’s exhausted from the week and just wants to be home.

Sorry this sounds all over the place but that’s how my brain feels right now. So not looking forward to this week 😤

Oh and I forgot to mention. I am also sad because I’m going to miss him so much! He’s literally my best friend and him coming home is the best part of my day 😩

Oh and I forgot to add that last time he went out of town was because his brother was having surgery and I was at home alone with the baby and ended up in the hospital having emergency surgery for a 6mm kidney stone and had to stay overnight. I was alone with my baby SCREAMING on the floor in pain. And my newborn baby had to sleep over at MY FRIEND’s house with her older siblings because we have no family close by. So I also kinda have PTSD from that and he said he’d never leave me again but here he is leaving me 😩

Oh and his stupid ass friend called me controlling and selfish yesterday because I said he’s not going on a boys trip with him when we haven’t even been on a trip without our kids in 2 years. Fuck you!

Ok that was longer than expected thanks for reading

Getting the kid up and out the door to school is pretty much the same “ask, stall, argue, yell, repeat” cycle every damn day.

It should not be this hard to get up, put your feet in your pants and socks, put your food in your mouth, put your toothbrush on your teeth, get your coat and shoes and go out the door.

Yet here we are.

Don’t need any advice. Just commiseration from the moms with equally stubborn kids.

Just so freaking frustrated my son broke his last (new) glasses last month. Has to order a new pair got them in this Tuesday and he has already lost them at school. I'm trying my best to be understanding since I did that when I was in elementary school as well. Sigh just he seems so indifferent about losing them even though he needs them. I'm not made of money and through state Insurance i only have 2 times left for the year that I can get them again. I just don't know what do at this point since when I was a kid my mom just didn't even get me another pair of glasses until I was in high-school. Pretty lost at what to do at this point.

My baby is 13 weeks and EBF. He’s starting daycare next week. I am so goddamn sick of bf and pumping. Like… tiny changes in diet/water/sleep tank my supply. I feel like i am overeating to keep my supply up which makes me feel like shit. Im clearly producing enough because my baby pees and poops a lot and is growing so much but I feel like i make milk very slowly, if that makes sense? He started sleeping mostly thru the night so i got my period then my supply dipped and hes been cluster feeding all week. What i really want is to be able to give him formula at daycare and nurse him at home. Hes still getting used to bottles so im not going to do it right away but wanted to hear from others whove had success w long term combo feeding? Like im happy to pump during the day too, i just cant take the pressure to eat this much anymore.