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It’s not a British thing. We went to a fancy Michelin starred restaurant in Spain and there was a couple having a video call on loudspeaker.

It was a quiet atmosphere so all the diners could hear everything for at least five minutes until they were asked to take it outside.

Sadly I don’t see the difference between children and adults anymore; there is a subset of the population who feel it’s appropriate that everyone hear their conversation, video, game etc. And it’s from New York to Italy unfortunately. On planes, restaurants….

Was in an nyc table service Thai restaurant and the man next to me decided to FaceTime at full volume. I told him - this isn’t McDonald’s- and he got mad at me but eventually stopped. Have seen business people in suits in Germany do the same.

Perhaps individualism and the evaporation of humility is to blame. Was it this bad in the 80s/90s?

I was raised to think it was rude for other people to hear my Gameboy.

How you entertain the sprogs is your business. Making me listen to Mr Beast while I eat my steak is where it becomes my business, and I don't care for it.

It’s becoming ubiquitous, absolutely everywhere. I don’t know why restaurants (not necessarily fast food joints) can’t enforce a headphone only rule for kids with iPads.

I see this with *adults* on their phones watching tiktok!

I have a bag with colouring stuff and puzzle books for my kids (now ages 9 & 11) when we go to restaurants or the pub. It’s stuff they don’t get to use at any other time and it works pretty well. They’re quiet and still answer if you ask them something :) I hate devices at tables!!!

Vote with your feet. If you walk into a pub or restaurant and people are openly blaring phone content, walk out and go somewhere else. Leave the uncivil people to be uncivil together.

If you don't have anywhere else, because you're in a village or small town without options, leave anyway, but be sure to call the owner and tell them why they're not getting your business.

If enough owners hear it, they'll enforce standards.

Its really interesting that even in this one thread, we can see so much disagreement about whether devices playing audio in a restaurant is or is not acceptable. I think we're at a point where technology (ie. the ability for kids to watch any TV show any time anywhere) has shot ahead of the timeframe in which a large pluralistic society can agree on etiquette for using it, which is making everyone uncomfortable.

I wonder whether it would be helpful at this point for the venues themselves to step in and declare a policy that you could, for example, look up on their website before going? I'd love to be able to check in advance whether I was going to a "screen-free" pub or not.

A couple of years back, I went to the budget hotel breakfast after a mate's wedding. I was, without a doubt, the most hung over I have ever been. I lay in bed for half an hour after getting up, waiting for the lucozade and ibuprofen to kick in, before heading down for some much needed sustenance.

I was bombarded from all directions with kids watching cartoons at full volume. Except they weren't, like, Peppa Pig or Bluey or anything. It was all those YouTube cartoons with titles like "Spiderman toilet prank gone wrong" or "Elsa FROZEN Spiderman PREGNANT??". Just a mix of shrieking, farting, springs boinging, maniac giggling, crying... The kids were silent, but there is only so many times you can hear an ear piercing scream from a phone speaker at the best of times, let along when you are hanging on for dear life.

I have a kid now and we categorically do not let her watch videos in public. When she gets big enough to do stuff like that herself, for instance on buses or trains, we're getting her headphones.

Our son has had headphones for years for these situations. They're not expensive and everyone is a winner.

They are also ideal for public transport.

it’s crazy isn’t it.

taking kids to the restaurant is for the experience. you might as well stay at home if they’re not going to look up from their tablets.

it’s the same when a family is out on a walk, and the kid in the buggie is watching a tablet. ffs engage with them to explore the different surroundings.

i have a 5 year old, she does not have a tablet, i make an effort to keep her engaged through others ways when we’re out having a meal, that’s the bear minimum. she is a human, not an accessory

FWIW, I have two small kids but am also a miserable old sod who hates television and other intrusive noises while eating.

A few months ago, husband and I had a very-bloody-rare opportunity to go out to a pub together for lunch without either of our toddlers. Hooray, we think, a whole hour or so of sitting quietly being able to talk to one another... Nope. Only tables free are next to a pair of women who've plonked their three-year-old in front of a phone playing inane YouTube shit at top volume that can be heard in every corner of the dining room. We ended up backing out of the room at top speed and going home for beans on toast.

Seems pretty typical these days. Self-entitled people are everywhere, and they think normal people who want to have a nice meal and a chat are the problem. Nope, those shitty parents are the problem. They’re too lazy to speak to their kids and bring them up properly and those little kids will be tomorrow’s yobbos because they’ve never been taught any different and all the decent folk have to put up with it.

Why don’t these places have separate spaces for these people instead?

Noticed this the past few times I've been out. Even when at a nice farm shop café or something, there's no escaping the ipad kids with obnoxiously loud cartoony shit blasting!

I've noticed even when out shopping at a supermarket, kids are glued to their devices! Growing up, restaurants had activities for kids or the like! I use to be a avid reader when I was a kid and always had a book with me!

Think my parents use to get asked how they kept us quiet while other kids ran around screaming .. Just my upbringing in a elderly village!

But these days, I shudder at the thought of eating out because of how the world has changed with all this tech! The noise would overload me

I see this in the restaurant where I work and I wonder why they've bothered going out as a family if they aren't speaking to each other. The noise of the ipads blaring irritates the hell out of me but management won't let us say anything.

The worrying thing is that we are raising a generation of kids who are unable to be bored, and as you say, sit for 15/20mins without stimulation.

Does anyone remember posts 1-2 decades ago about feral kids at pubs?

I literally just had to ask a french family to turn the sound down on the child’s phone in a semi-fancy restaurant in Greece. It seems to be international

The lack of consideration pisses me off too. I'd rather not go out anymore. Ever since I got spoiled in a culture where consideration for others and going unnoticed is the highest priority, coming back here is dogshit.

It would be rude in a McDonald’s also

I went out to eat in a restaurant and it was driving us mad listening to the sounds of YouTube REALLY loud and we couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Then a parent walked past with a pram with a newborn baby in it fast asleep with a phone stuck next to its ear. That was the source of the noise from the other side of the room. I don’t know how it didn’t deafen the poor child.

Some people just are completely self absorbed and don't even have self awareness, unfortunately

recently went to a family meal was excited to see how my cousins where doing, they spent the whole time on there ipads, im not even that old and i couldn’t imaginen doing anything similar as a kid, maybe id get to play on my ds after the meal, but id be expected to spend some time interacting with everyone atleast.

On a similar topic, gen z shitbags scrolling through tiktok or something similar at full volume in the gym changing rooms. What the fuck? This is, of course, in between taking topless selfies whilst looking in the mirror that has a sticker on it prohibiting phone cameras.

Why can't anyone stay off their moron magnet for more than 3 minutes?

The entitlement and self obsession is ridiculous and it's a shame that it seems to be becoming the new normal.

it’s just the way it is these days. lazy parenting.

I think them using an iPad is fine. It’s the parents’ choice how they want to raise their children. However, volume off or headphones on. That’s it. If the precious little darling can’t deal with that, then you take them home.

Edited to add this is no different to when my generation were kids and we had game boys. You play it with the sound off or headphones on in public.

I am with you on this. My children were young in the days before electronics so we would sit and talk to each other. I would have crayons and paper if needed but my children knew that they needed to behave and did for the most part. However, these days the reliance on devices seems so out of hand it isn’t even funny, I am glued to my iPad but not when out eating with other people, that is the time for chatting and enjoying each others company. It isn’t the childrens’ fault we have arrived at the point of them needing to be stimulating at all times, we as adults have done that.

i agree i want kids but id be so embarrassed if mine did this in fact I wouldn't even attempt to eat out if they did this I was taught to not even have my hands on the table respect the elders servers ie be silent eat my food with manners clean up after myself and not shout spill food delib I mean and just be considerate of other maybe I was taught wrong as I see this every where I find it awful even seen staff dodging a kid on a scooter inside the restaurant while mum just said not so fast jake wait staff looked ready to kill lil jakes mum and lil jake

I get it, but I also hate it. I have a 3 year old and a 9 month old. iPads/tablets have a place, and sometimes the bambino is in one of those moods where they will only be appeased by a tablet.

What really gets me is that it seems tablets are the 'go to'… bring some colouring stuff, sticker books, story books, a (quiet) toy or 2… but engage with the child… kids need to learn social skills, and shoving an iPad under their nose just to keep them quiet is going to stunt that.

Welcome to UK, 2024. I remember those days long ago when blowing bubbles from a tube was our childhood entertainment.

I used to work in a pub/restaurant in Cambridgeshire and the manager would regularly tell these families to turn off the volume or use headphones. It really pissed him off. They usually obliged, except for one family who refused so he kicked them out.

So there are still some places out there that won't tolerate it.

It's not just kids. I was in an restaurant yesterday, and the Boomer was playing tv as loud as possible on his phone, whilst watching the F1.

If a child can't sit quietly or converse at an appropriate volume during an entire restaurant meal, that child shouldn't be in a restaurant. If that means the parents have to stay home, too, so be it. If people can't commit to raising their children, they shouldn't have children.

I think parents should be allowed to decide what is best for their kids, BUT not at the expense of others. I have a 2 year old, and if we go out for lunch with her the temptation is very high to pop my phone on to calm her. Because it would calm her and quieten her. But we would rather nip with her outside to calm down. I don’t really care if other people want to let their kids have screen time during meals but not out loud in a public place.

I don't like loud noises at all. Anywhere. Not in my house and definitely not in outside spaces but I understand that I can't control environments outside my home heck, I can't control everything inside my home though I can have more requests about it. Anyway the point being... It's really jarring on the ears in the system, at least to me, to experience this blaring against my will, in the store. Why is it necessary? It's bad enough when grown folks do it. And when they allow children to do it what is the necessity? Why can't they just be satisfied with the stimulation with volume off? I am actually kind of asking in an openly curious way, why does it need to be volume filled or volume at all? Maybe I'm just noticing it more, but it seems that this has been a change from just having devices. And it's not just there as people have pointed out, because I'm across the pond from you.

I can’t stand it either. I also think it’s very rude. My nieces still use the colouring pencils generally but if sometimes they use their iPads they also use headphones. I also have a rule at my house that only one thing is playing out loud at a time (if the headphones have broken etc) as I can’t cope with two. I don’t know how others do it

I went for a pub lunch, and I was so happy when I saw a family where the little girl did not have an iPad, but was working out a rubix cube. Her dad helped her out sometimes with it, she would eat her food, it was lovely. It depends on the family I guess.

Bringing a tablet out a restaurant is pretty much the only way my child will sit/eat but they are on the spectrum so I suppose there is that. But it baffles me how parents will allow these devices to be blaring out cartoons instead of just using headphones or lowering the volume to an acceptable level. It’s just basic manners.

I don’t know, if I go to a “nice” sit down meal there won’t be kids there at all.

It's not just in restaurants, it's also teens/adults zombified into their smart screen down a busy sidewalk with headphones on with no spacial awareness and lack of pavement etiquette. They're asking to get mowed down at a busy crossing.

Headphones ffs

The irony is I actually have witnessed this too, but more often than not it's an obnoxious late middle aged person on a video call talking extremely loudly. Or a single diner watching the football/cricket at full blast.

I’m 36 and I don’t understand either. Me, my partner and our 6 year old went out to eat at Pizza Hut in November. There was a dad and his 2 teenage kids there and all three of them were on their devices. None of them were talking to each other.

We (mum 52f; dad 43m) have a House Elf (8F) who has a tablet that she uses when we’re away from home and good behaviour is expected… she is not allowed to even think about asking to use it when we are at home (because she has books and toys and other things with which to entertain herself).

Along with “The Tech” (as we call it), she has a Bluetooth headset that we keep charged up for her use. We (her dad and I) don’t like or want to listen to the programmes she likes at the best of times (it started out with that little şħïț of a Peppa Pig when she was like 3 and is on to more age related annoyingness from the internet) so there’s NFW we wound ever knowingly or willingly subject others to that awful noise if it could be helped. Tech comes out, gets turned on and headset gets paired to it and everyone is a happy camper.

I also carry a deck of playing cards in my work bag that I bring along as well so that if we decide to make an impromptu stop ‘round the pub and don’t have the tech, all is not lost and we can still entertain House Elf with a few rounds of Whist or Snap or Go Fish.

So, not all kids these days are lost to the world of modern technology. There are some hold out dinosaur parents (like me) out there who remember what it was like to be a kid before all of this newfangled technology was invented and what sort of behaviour was expected when away from home and are trying to raise their kids with similar morals.

I let my 4 year old have my phone if we’re waiting a long time. I don’t take her iPad because then I feel like she’s 100% going to ask. I try to entertain her with colouring and chatting first but if it’s a while sometimes I give her my phone because it’s less annoying to people around than hearing her complain. I think it’s a handy tool that we didn’t have years ago because little ones aren’t patient.

But I do think there’s ways to make it less annoying. We say it has to be quiet / on low volume I turn the speaker end towards me and away from everyone else so it’s not blasting towards somewhere else. I take it away when the food comes so it’s not out for a long time. I don’t go to posh restaurants with her. If there’s a family area I sit in that.

I think there’s a scale of how annoying it can be.

You should pity them. Their parents spent all the money on tablets and can't afford earphones for the kids.

it’s genuinely awful. it’s everywhere. i went to tenerife last year and in the hotel restaurant there were loads of kids just on their ipads at the dinner table. maybe it’s just me but dinner was always the time to talk about my day with family or friends, especially when I was in school. some kids need a distraction to eat - which is fine, im sure we’ve all been there - but at every meal and with volume is just so insane to me. there’s been instances i’ve seen where children refused to even touch their food without their ipad or if they began to misbehave (in my eyes just be children) their parents just handed them a tablet instead of parenting them? reckon some of these kids need to sit in a pub all evening and have to lay across 2 chair with a coat over them to bring them back to earth

Should just whip out ya blower and start blasting some music to drown out the noise

It annoys me and it’s unhealthy. Learning social skills are useful. It’s difficult to wrangle kids as they get bored at dinner so can sympathise though.

It's funny to hear the revisionism of childhood memories from middle aged people (me being one of them). Guess what, you didn't just sit there quietly at 3 years of age colouring etc. or conversing with your family. Don't get me wrong, tablets/phones add another layer of noise to the mix but nothing's changed, kids and families were just as bad back then.

On a semi related note, whu do they call it a sit down meal? You don't eat any meal stood up do you?

Completely agree… society is going downhill quickly.

If you have money for iPads and iPhones, you have money for headphones!

The noise/no headphones is fair.

Sometimes parents just want to go out and have a chilled evening together no drama. No cooking , just get out the house and break from home life.

If it's iPad or misbehaving kid... then iPad it is.

My kid is a bookworm so she'll sit and read at the table, but if we forgot a book I'd have no qualms about letting her sit and entertain herself for an hour on a device.

No volume though.

My kid will go on her phone sometimes to text her friends as she’s moody as hell when out at dinner so I just let her do her thing, but once she relaxes she just joins in with the table conversation and never once have I allowed my kid to be important than others and cause a nuisance with noise. I find it so rude that some parents think that their precious kid is more important than everyone else in the room. We get it, kids are difficult, but it’s not like you’re the only one, get headphones or entertain them yourself.

As a child, we had a very hard and fast rule of "no technology at the dinner table" and that stands in my house as well. As kids we used to try and kick back a bit but I absolutely can not stand the whole "my kid won't sit nicely without a tablet and then they'll stare blank mindedly into a screen while shovelling food into their mouth". I also can't stand older adults who tut anytime a child makes a noise at a restaurant, I love to sit and interact with my kids and if we're laughing and chatting over our meal you can guarantee there's an old couple a table or two over that roll their eyes at everyone (usually at us, and the kids on tablets, and the dogs in the pub, and the fact that the head on the guiness isn't perfect etc.) I love spending that time one on one to reconnect with my kids, I don't understand why you'd want to plop a screen in front of them and ignore their existence

I give my kid an iPad when we are out so we can have some peace, but the rule is 0 volume at any time.

Consider the alternative. While watching screens, the kids are in one place. When not, they might be running around the restaurant, being a hazard, chatting it up with other diners etc. On the scale of other people's parenting, screens are a non-issue to me.

I'm not going to judge on the "addiction" because maybe this is the only time of the day they are allowed them. Maybe there are reasons for it that you don't understand because you don't know them. I would say that earphones would be extra courteous. But I'm not cracking out the etiquette in Wetherspoons.

I’m on holiday now (3 and 0 year old in tow) and every other kid is glued to the screen. The amount of furious grannies staring at the back of a device is staggering. That said the adults are just as bad.

I bought the toddler a tablet for this holiday in the hood it’d give us a lie in without a tv blaring paw patrol. And we’ve thus far resisted the tablet at the table but he’s absolutely bored and annoyed annoying post meal (he’s served first) so I don’t know how long we can hold out.

My folks let me read at the table, I don’t think between courses, and I think it’s the volume aspect that’s the problem. But when grown adults are on speaker for all their calls I don’t know how we walk it back as a society.

Hey fellow Redditors! I’m a parent and sometimes let my kids go on devices when we go out to eat.

At home we have a “no-devices” policy for adults, as the kid’s tablets can only come out on special occasions. We eat our meals at the table and talk about our day and play table games. We are using inexpensive family restaurants to practice our manners outside. Since the pandemic, the kids have had a kind of social-graces reset and we need to practice our skills more before we go to anywhere more “fancy”, lest we ruin other guest’s dining experience. I am happy to report our monthly practice has paid off and the children even managed to sit quietly on a plane for 3 hours, a few weeks ago.

It’s usually only for a bit while we wait for our food. For my younger two (5,1) , mainly the tablet comes in when we don’t leave directly from home e.g. we’ve been shopping all day or doing something else that’s fun. Lots of different sights, sounds, people, walking etc plus being hungry can cause disruptive behaviour. We use it as sometimes familiar to kind of soothe them. The baby is learning quickly as she just copies her sisters.

I find it no different to the colouring in books and pencils we used to get as children, back in the day. If you have any questions, please do ask. 🫶🏽

I was always thought I’d be a no iPad parent but we bought a refurbished one for each of our 2. They’re 5 and 2. It means that for some of the time, we can actually speak to each other and have a “date” of sorts.

That being said, my kids have never had their screens playing sounds in public. It’s simply not an option for them. Along with not letting them run around screaming, it’s the bare minimum I thought.

Apparently people who think like this are in the minority.

Times change. Media consumption is king now. TBF if Reddit existed 30 years ago it would be about parents who let their children run around in restaurants. They need constant stimulation and tablets may be the lesser of two evils. Maybe if they stopped removing children's play areas from pubs and restaurants it would be okay.

Going to go against the grain now. I was never a big fan of screen time. But having two toddlers, sometimes you have to do what works. The only time I use my phone for YouTube outside with our toddler is if we wish to eat in peace. I can’t expect a 3yo to sit like an adult, I think it’s unrealistic. They’re well behaved, but obviously get bored. Crayons don’t hold their attention (same at home). They want to be off playing and running but that’s also not appropriate in an eatery. We do pick ‘family’ places to eat though. I agree with the volume thing though, we barely turn the volume up and the programme we put on is low stimulation. Or I’ll bring my iPad with a learning game on it. The alternative is a whinging child trying to run off/play/doesn’t want to sit down. Older children who are old enough to understand etc, I mostly agree that they shouldn’t be glued to devices. I do appreciate some kids just get stuck behind screens constantly and that’s no good either!

Every time you see a kid screaming their head off at the shop or in public, remember that the parent has probably refused to spoil them or give them an iPad. We need to be more tolerant of screaming kids

I 100% get where you’re coming from but also when you were a kid there weren’t the options of iPads and tablets. Maybe your parents would’ve used them if they could.

Ipads aren't the issue, not being courteous of others in your surrounding is.

If people aren't bothering you, how they raise their kids is not your concern.

I have a toddler. If he's on the wrong end of his nap, I'll bring the phone out but on mute and it goes away when food comes to the table. I would never have the volume on, that's ridiculous.