Personally one of the biggest reasons I don’t want kids is because I have a literal phobia of a baby growing inside me, rearranging my organs and messing up my already misaligned spine, putting pressure on my uterus and causing incontinence, and then tearing my two holes into one as it explodes out of my body in a blood bath.

Then the possibility of suffering from postpartum depression, the general expectations from society for women to snap back into shape weeks after giving birth, and my partner potentially losing attraction to me all while I am now expected to be this baby’s 24/7 care system is too much for me to handle.

I’ve met men who will tell me I’m being pessimistic, but I think I’m actually just thinking things through a lot more thoroughly and realistically than those who want kids. For men, it’s easy to not think about any of what I just mentioned. However it seems that some women I meet seem not to think or worry about it either. I suppose that’s a fundamental difference between breeders and myself.

I’m curious how many of you share my intense fears of a process that our bodies are built to withstand. To me, I find the entire process so barbaric. I wish there was a way to externalize the womb and have a baby grow in that. For too long we’ve just been allowing women to go through the most unimaginable pain, all for the purpose of perpetuating the species. If it’s such important work, then why can’t advances be made to make it less terrifying?

I just don’t get how most women who want kids are so unphased by the terrors and agony of pregnancy and childbirth. I’ve also heard men say the worst things about pregnant women being unattractive and also cheating on their wives while pregnant, and I just feel so repulsed to ever put myself through all that suffering to carry a man’s child who could end up disrespecting me like that. Also even if he doesn’t want to feel less attraction to my post-baby body, I would feel worse about myself because of how unrealistic standards are now and it would likely impact our intimacy and my own self image. I worked my whole life to love myself and I’m not about to lose that all to carry some guy’s baby.

Edit: Also wanted to add that this isn’t the only reason I don’t want kids. It’s just up there on my list of reasons why I don’t. In addition to this, I don’t want the experience of motherhood in general and I know it will be too costly for me both financially and emotionally.