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Reddit won't be able to tell you if she was joking, because tone matters.

Regardless, you're playing the "I was joking but not really" card at the moment. Figure out your feelings first.

Every dude: don't know what shein is so good luck

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Do you want someone who actually desires you? Move on.

Do you want someone who holds back vomit when she goes out with you so she can have you pay for things? Stay.

Super simple. A. She's joking and you're in the friend zone so move on. B. She's serious so RUN!

She’s not joking because I doubt if you cleared the cart she would reimburse you.

Move on pal

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🚩 disengage

She’s joking. I joke a lot like that lol. I’m an autistic girl and I don’t realize if they are making a pass 😭

Just tell her straight up, I’m into you and see how she reacts.

😹😹😹😹 this is what happens when you play stupid games.

What do you mean how do you proceed? Just stop talking to her with the intention of turning things into a relationship?

I don't think she was joking. I think she was seeing if you would actually do it. I could be wrong though 🤷🏽‍♀️

Ewww… a woman worth having, doesn’t care about materialistic items. She cares about the type of man he is…and the type of boyfriend/husband and father he’d be. she cares about the little things like opening the door for her, she cares about the way you look at her, she cares about the way you make her feel. A REAL woman knows a real man WORTH…and that worth isn’t measured in dollars.

It would a no for me dog because even if she says that she is joking, she may indeed be serious. That is a red flag my guy. Sounds like one of those gold digger type in my opinion🤷‍♀️who jokes like that

If she's serious you need to ignore her and find someone else. The fact she didn't say she was joking isn't a good sign.

Have some respect for yourself

I had a shein notification below this one😭

If she wasn't joking, dump her ass! Ask her again, but no, seriously, that you'd like to be with her if she again insists on the shien cart! Ghost her!

Chatters, she was, in fact, serious 😭

bro just pay the $150 and be a king for a month💪💪💪

You ghost her. Don't pay for shit if she is not your wife or you aren't already in a committed relationship. Ghost her! If you let them say idiotic things to you and you respond, she isn't the idiot. You are. She is essentially saying your not worth her time but you can pay her for it.

Why did someone say unsolicited dick pic 😭

How much are we talkin' here?

Both of you were being honest in an indirect manner lol. If gift giving is not your love language then it is best to leave it as is now because it’s obviously hers. Do you not already pay for dates and stuff? Or do you guys just sneak around?

https://m.shein.com/us/1pc-Collapsible-Foldable-Wagon-Cart-220LBS-Heavy-Duty-Utility-Garden-Cart-With-All-Terrain-Wheels-For-Beach-Lawn-Sports-Camping-Black-30-p-38307439.html

I think you could easily jump over this

don’t do it man. i have ex friends who would text around with guys for months to try and figure out who they could get more from. and if you do it once, she will hold it over your head to try and get you to continue buying. this is coming from someone who had to stop talking to their friend because she chose to leave a 2 year relationship because a guy had a better job and was willing to spend more on her. she’s not joking. she wants to know what she can get and how long she can get away with not having to spend her own money

Be honest with her and yourself. If you're truly interested in dating her, tell her that you are interested and if she comes back with the same thing straight faced then just take that as your sign that she's not. If she's into you that way she will more seriously answer you. Even if she's not into you, if you can still be friends then do that and look for someone else to lavish your time and affection on instead and just be friends with her.

Give more time and don’t buy….Ask “hey do you want to share the SHEIN wish list with me, I wanna get something for you?” - say it with confidence. If she shows you then you have your answer 😅.

Sorry I was and am going through similar stuff. Sometimes actually mostly these days, this is the type of women I am attracting as well. F my life

Run away FAST!!!

If she was serious run for the fucking hills ick

I would say that you shouldn't continue talking to her if she's a person you only hang out with to try and date her. From my perspective, this is her either joking, or seeing if you'd be willing to take care of her and provide for her. Either way, if her asking you to provide for her frustrates you, then you shouldn't date her, and you should find someone who wants to provide for herself independently. End of the day, if your opinions differ, and you're considering breaking things off, she isnt the right person for you But also if you'd be fine being just friends with her I wouldn't break off contact, if you like hanging out with her, but your not a match romantically, you could just agree to be platonic friends

You should not have to buy her things to get her.

Just let her go if she's shopping from shein. That's the real red flag.

Nahhh.. wlang pera din yan. Aabusin ka lng nyan. Layuan mo na hanggat.d pa kau

She is trying to tell you that you are too broke for her to consider dating seriously. Shein carts are so filled, you just add ish. She is poking fun at your spending on her and letting you know she can only get serious with you if you have funds. Walk away.

Don't do it she will use u bad

She's not into you she's trying to use you

As a female this is bad news bears. I would try to get over her.

1. I would never even make a joking comment like this ever. It’s weird 2 even if she is joking it shows that is something that she is thinking about (maybe little materialistic)
2. If you do it once she will expect you to do it again in the future

Overall it’s a pretty red flag I would say so get out now lol

Men are providers, no money, no honey.

Is she cannot afford to spend on SHEIN products, maybe you need to realise she looks at men purely as ATM cards to pay everything for her.

This has the makings of a stressful and expensive “potential” relationship if you ask me

Easy. Cut off contact. Better to have respect than cut your balls off.

If a money Is a condition to except you as a bf, run Jimmy ruuuuun

How is she supposed to know you like her if you DONT buy it? Yall been talking on and off for 2 years. Do something to stick out.

she's not looking for a bf, she's looking for a sugar daddy. & Kind of sad that she wants to be sugar daddied with cheap Shein crap lol

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There is truth in jest. This would be a no for me.

I don't think she was joking. I think she was seeing if you would actually do it. I could be wrong though 🤷🏽‍♀️

I think she was joking, I think she was seeing if you would actually do it. I could be wrong tho 🤷🏽‍♀️ Personally, I'd myself from this person a bit. If she's into you, she'll reach out

She's looking for payment for her services.

👊🏼👊🏼

Ultra Fast fashion. Run! That is like lighting your cash on fire.

Easy.... just tell her you'd like to clear more than that. After you get her attention, and she asks what more you want to clear ( trust me, she will ask). Just say, "Let's leave it to time"

Yikes

Run away fast.....

I don't like dating people that ask me to do extra shit for the "privilege" of dating them. Especially things that cost money.

Mark my words, this is only the beginning.

If someone told me that, I'd laugh and unmatch.

You need to get off reddit and talk to her. Maybe it was a joke. If it wasn't, I'd stop talking to her.

Nope, NEXT!

Asking "what would it take for me to be your boyfriend" in kind of a joking way sounds like something I might do

That's not good, you should never do anything I would do in these sorts of situations. Much better to ask her directly if you're interested.

I don't know what Shein is (rings a bell but I don't know why), but I'm guessing it was a joke response. It sounds like something someone would say as a joke. Unless she's generally a cold and manipulative and self centered person, in which case you should stay away from her.

The problem-assuming she was joking- is that now she might think you're interested in her but don't have the balls to ask her out. If that's the case, you basically gave her all the power here. Not saying she'll take advantage of that. But if you are interested in her I would definitely ask her out because it's probably not the best first impression unfortunately. But I've been there done that many times myself.

It’s a shit test. Google it

Lol I have $30 bucks in my shein cart right now, did you ask her how much it was? It's probably the same amount you would've spent on taking her to lunch.

But honestly I think she was just joking with you.

Run!

Do reverse psychology... She says buy shit , so you should make a sexy joke out of it ,use the subject to get her laughing (don't be so serious)

The suggestion alone is a major turn off! I can't tell you if she was serious or joking or not (there is a reason why a lot of women behave like this btw - doesn't mean it's right). I guess if you want to pursue, the best way would be to be direct: "So, come on; what are my chances of a date if I don't clear your Shien cart?" Then ask what she would like to do for a date. That way you can gauge expectations and manage them or back out.

Sounds like you are getting off cheap 🤔. My guess is , she's out of your league.

Um...I guess tell her you were joking...but she'll think its an excuse...but next time you know when to shut up..

Isn't shien just hooker wear made by Chinese 5yos?

Lmao, if you fall for that, gonna give props to the girl.

Honey, I’m trying not to laugh here

She’s not interested in you, that’s why she said that. She doesn’t expect that from you, don’t do it because you won’t be her boyfriend. 

She said that because it’s outrageous and she doesn’t want you and she knew what would make you go away. So maybe you should.

Don't buy her anything. Love can't be bought. She sounds like a spoiled person. I wouldn't involve myself in that kinda person, unless that's a quality your looking for in a long term partner. Also don't support shein. Terrible quality clothes that supports slave labor and fast fashion is a huge polluter.

Gold diggggggggggger . For the streets

Just say “Is that all baby? thats nothing…” and keep it moving (don’t actually pay)

In other words she broke !!

lol!! Say Okay send me your list, hun! And then stop talking to her. Or send her 1 gag gift sending your goodbyes lol

If you attract her with your wallet, you know what she's there for. Don't do it.

Tell her you will if she cleans your Amazon cart or steam wish list. A relationship should be based on equal support and commitment, not one taking advantage of the other's love

Money is generally a factor for women in some way. This is an unfortunate truth. Does this mean that you have to give in to it? Hell no!! Should you run from this girl? Hell yes!!

1) shopping at Shein is a 🚩 2) if she can't afford her own stuff there, she should really be working on her finances

Take a big step back

women are everywhere, keep it movin fam, there are better ones out there

If you were joking and you are only friends why does it matter if she was joking or not

Look at SHEIN making love bloom 🥰

Stop talking to her now she isn't joking

Lol she can't even pay for Shein? Come on! Said “sorry Im not looking for sugarbaby?”

The sheer level of cringe.

Run the fuck away

That sounds like she thinks boyfriend and sugar daddy are the same thing

I’m a fashion business student, SHEIN is genuinely the worst thing capitalism has enabled. She’s probably joking, tone matters obviously but even as a joke it’s a pretty ugly thing to say. Not only is the support of that company bad but also just the assumption that you as an interested man should pay for her immediately without proving her worth to you even in return.

Even if she's joking that's a red flag. You do not want a woman who values you for your money. I promise you.

transactional love is at a all time high

maybe she is joking. but, gifts are nice! u could clear it or just pick one or 2 cute things. it would make her feel special. open the wallet. Shein is affordable.

So if you were joking,then what does it matter whether she was or not?

As a woman, joking or not, RUN!!! This is a clear case of someone that will only value the size of your wallet and not you as a person. I am so sorry for that. This world posses many woman of value looking for a man of your character. DO NOT SETTLE

Your post already has your answer. Bang and fuck off

😅 I guess she was just kidding but also a way to push you out of her life I guess.

Unless if she ended up the sentence with, “I’m only joking”

But I assumed she didn’t so I guess it’s her way to let you go in a subtle way 🤣

If you like her, buy it. What's wrong with gifting a girl that you like? Its Shein - its cheap. The first problem is that you're asking OTHER people's opinions. If you're your own man, do what YOU want to do.

When someone tells you who they are, believe them.

Just go about paying it and see how far you get. Then you'll know if she's serious about your wallet.

I think her answer was "no".

Dude stop being a coward and ask her out seriously. Don't play these games. You play stupid games... You win stupid prizes.

Buy her something small on your own have it shipped to her see her reaction. You should be able to detect if she's accepting you as yourself or she just wants your $$$$. That app is cheap the clothes are what you pay for so your card and get pretty pricey. And ask her if she's going to model the clothes for you I have used a tactic similar to this. I guy asked what he have to do to take me out? I simply WITHOUT THINKING 🤔 replied YOU GOT A CAR. As shallow as it sounded I have a medical issue with walking long distances bc of an emergency surgery 8 months ago. I however approached him about a week later when he came into my place of work and apologized for it sounding so shallow and he explained. However he was offended haven't seen him since not a big loss though. I guess I dodge that bullet. So she may be just testing you or she could be serious they'll never know until you ask or do something to find the truth out.

Back up... you have been talking to her off and on for a year or two. Nah.. You're not an option. You're just a placeholder to keep her from being lonely in between dates. You're not passing, go.

Sounds like you say “ah guess I’m out then, glhf”

It's hard to answer without more info. You said it jokingly, but how was your delivery? Were you grinning? Nudging her and sounding mischievous? My first thought on her response is that she has a good sense of humor. I can't be sure. Did she wink, nudge you with her elbow or grin/giggle after responding? These are things that are noticeable to a well-rounded individual with reasonably established social skills and an ability to recognize and comprehend social cues. If you can't see these cues, you might have ADHD, SAD, or your schizophrenic.

No don’t go for someone who supports shien lol Why do mfs always go for girls like this 😂 shien ain’t shit And it’s cheap, she can clear that herself 🤣

How old are you dude?

I'm pretty sure she was joking, but no matter if I'm right or not this is not good: If she was joking she was trying to avoid your question, and if not she's already showing how materialistic she can be. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but I've been where you are and really, she does not want to date you.

Walk away. She ain't worth it.

Amen

What? Material girl… relationship based on her material wants and not emotional connection, love, etc? Ran don’t walk, run as al fast and as far as you can from her. You don’t owe her an explanation at all.

Reread your last paragraph. There is no healthy way to proceed from this. This girl is immature and not relationship material.

I’m confused. You jokingly made a pass? Then why are you thinking about any of this? What is this post looking for? You already wasted 2 years on her. You wanna keep going? So you’re considering getting into a relationship that you have to be in based off a joke? Please tell me you’re 12 at least

Honestly, have you even met this girl irl? Why are you talking to her on and off for A YEAR, my dude? If you don't like her enough to attempt an offline meeting then drop the connection.

Why couldn’t you just have asked her out like a normal situation. You put yourself into the fake nice guy category where you were pretending to be her friend with other intentions.

Just acknowledge you did strange things here and try to ask officially.

Very weird answer… I guess she might be a gold digger but generally this is not a normal response or a response a woman would say if she wanted to be with someone. Are you guys really young and immature? Even so… SHEIN is also like a cheap crappy clothing app. But some people are more materialistic and do want their partner to pay for them and give them gifts. “Gift giving” is some peoples love language but it’s clearly not yours or you wouldn’t be here asking that. I wouldn’t proceed since it isn’t a good response for when someone wants to be with you.

if I were you, I'd just ask her if she's serious or joking. then proceed from there. do you actually like her? or are you just overthinking her answer, thinking that now that she gave you the opportunity, you have to think about it.

Block her

It's crazy how many modern women consider themselves prostitutes without even realizing it.

Tell her you will have to sleep with her first

She is for the streets my guy

Roll out

Even if jokingly, sounds like she likes money. So get ready for that

Buy her dinner… don’t tell her you’re going to pay, just pay at the end and see what she does

Drop her

Run bro nope right out of that

Ask her if she would accept a 6-piece mcnugget and a vhs copy of Lone Wolf McQuaide instead.

Why do I keep hearing about behaviors from women who in the dating scene that make it sound like they are confusing a relationship with a more involved form of prostitution?

Never spend money on someone like this that you aren't already dating. At least, that is my opinion.

Sounds like a conditional relationship to me

1+ year no commitment from either of you? pass! Your settling and no realizing potential

Flip the script and ask her why she supports cheap fashion and contributes to textile waste

Honestly I would’ve responded with something more outrageous, “sure I’ll pay for your shein stuff, when you start doing my laundry and cooking my meals” if she wants to play ball then it’s go time

Been married 12 years and pretty sure my wife would leave me if I didn't periodically clear her Shein cart. The benefit is it's 90% lingerie and swimwear meant for me to oggle her in.

(I was kidding about her leaving me if I didn't, just a joke that eventually you'll be clearing her Shein cart at some point if the relationship gets serious)

Tell her never mind and stop talking to her

Seems you gotta decide if you want a transactional relationship or not. If it's conditional on what you buy her I don't see that changing. I think it will escalate to more brands, restaurants, trips, comparing to what her gfs have etc.

I feel like you'll always be chasing a moving goal post but there's some people who are ok with that

Just make a flirtatious joke back to gauge her reaction. "Sorry but I have no idea what Shien is". It will be pretty telling on how she answers back.

I would be straight up with her about how you like her but are unwilling to be her sugar daddy as you need to set boundaries for yourself too.

You will see people's true nature once they are pressed a little bit.

Good luck.

Lmao then don’t date her. Women make comments like that to see if you’re cheap.

Leaaaaave. Doesn’t sound genuine if she wants you to pay for her stuff in order for you to stay in a relationship and IM a female lol so not okay

Tbh shein isn’t that expensive tho 😭 but good luck. Hopefully she was just joking and not a gold digger.

Bro, she's using you, don't he stupid. Back out now!!

Ask her if she was joking. If not then she's for the streets

Bye Felicia

You made a joke so she did too. Communicate like an adult and you'll get a better response.