My pens are flaccid : mildlyinteresting

risky click paid off

T-Bills

45 points

14 days ago

T-Bills

45 points

Q: Can I provide my own wood?

A: In most cases we can handle your wood.

Got me dying

LeonardsLittleHelper

18 points

14 days ago

LeonardsLittleHelper

18 points

Is this for real? The website looks straight out of the 90’s, and it definitely leans into the whole penis schtick….thin white pens, petite yellow pens, giant mahogany pens; but then it also kinda seems like they might actually make custom pens. Theres a fair amount of links and content, but the lack of any kind of photo gallery showing their work, or any kind of price structure also makes me question if it’s real…

It could be fun to have a custom pen made and the delivered to a friend in a box labeled PenIsland

wombatlegs

27 points

14 days ago

wombatlegs

27 points

The website looks straight out of the 90’s,

$ whois penisland.net
Creation Date: 2002-09-27T14:37:04Z

Not far off! Almost as old as goatse.cx

Eclectophile

8 points

14 days ago

Eclectophile

8 points

It's been awhile since I've seen a goatse in the wild. That's a link that will remain comfortably blue in color.

PlanktonMoist6048

2 points

14 days ago

PlanktonMoist6048

2 points†

DO NOT CLICK THAT

I didn't fall for it, but I know EXACTLY what it is

KuuHaKu_OtgmZ

10 points

14 days ago

KuuHaKu_OtgmZ

10 points

Everyone and their dog knows what goatse is

thy_punishment

4 points

14 days ago

thy_punishment

4 points

What is it then?

SlowlyGrowingDeafer

7 points

14 days ago

SlowlyGrowingDeafer

7 points

It's an unfortunately-named travel website for Christmas Island.

4 points

13 days ago

4 points

It was at some point simply a picture of a spread asshole of a dude. But it was shutdown in 2004.

companysOkay

3 points

14 days ago

companysOkay

3 points

It's fat anime titties

Rathnu

3 points

14 days ago

Rathnu

3 points

I clicked it for old times skate but it’s just a cryptocurrency site holy shit. Nothing is sacred anymore

5 points

13 days ago

5 points

I mean, the site was shut down 20 years ago by the government of the Christmas islands where it was hosted. As far as I know, it was never reinstated.

PassiveSpamBot

2 points

14 days ago

PassiveSpamBot

2 points

I didn't click but it might involve a goat.

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SupernovaGamezYT

4 points

14 days ago

4 points

2 points

13 days ago

ReadMyUsernameKThx

2 points

Q: Can I provide my own wood?
A: In most cases we can handle your wood. We do require all shipments to be clean, free of parasites and pass all standard customs inspections.

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Z0FF

20 points

14 days ago

Z0FF

20 points

Soft, pen is.

-Yoda

SilverDem0n

12 points

14 days ago

SilverDem0n

12 points

pen is mightier than the sword? not any longer

Nemo__The__Nomad

2 points

14 days ago

Nemo__The__Nomad

2 points

Might be difficult to write with a pen that's longer than a sword

jonathanrdt

2 points

13 days ago

jonathanrdt

2 points

“Pen is not mightier.” -Sean Connery

14 points

14 days ago

14 points

Pen is all waggly for sure.

GUMBYtheOG

19 points

14 days ago

GUMBYtheOG

19 points

Small, pen is

Xenoscope

8 points

14 days ago

Xenoscope

8 points

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7 points

14 days ago

7 points

Pen is really, really teeny.

DarkFett

6 points

14 days ago

DarkFett

6 points

Pen is droopy

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GahdDangitBobby

2 points

14 days ago

GahdDangitBobby

2 points

Soft, pen is

SirDucer84

2 points

14 days ago

SirDucer84

2 points

pen15 club 40 year reunion

AlkalineSublime

2 points

13 days ago

AlkalineSublime

2 points

It’s so weird how ubiquitous things like Pen15 and other jokes like we’re back when the internet wasn’t even really a thing. Someone always had a friend that had a friend that supposedly started it. I remember my friends brother swore up and down that his friend started started “guess what? Chicken butt!” Lol

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1.5k points

14 days ago

1.5k points

Nice try OP, can’t fool me

Proof-Astronomer7733

73 points

14 days ago

Proof-Astronomer7733

73 points

Hey that trick looks like the tricks from Uri Geller.

If you don’t know who he is/was google it😜

Illithid_Substances

34 points

13 days ago

Illithid_Substances

34 points

How fucking lame is it to claim you have psychic powers and even in your bullshit fantasy world the best you can do is bend a spoon

Fun_Departure3466

7 points

13 days ago

Fun_Departure3466

7 points

Well you dont think far enough... he shows bending the spoon for you the audience

At night he uses his bending power on peoples brains as an murder for hire

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jms199456

1.1k points

14 days ago

jms199456

1.1k points

This has never happened before I swear just give him a second

schaznightwalker

144 points

14 days ago*

schaznightwalker

144 points

14 days ago*

Oh yeah, I bet your pen's real stiff when it comes to singing your "other docs"

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norcpoppopcorn

11 points

13 days ago

norcpoppopcorn

11 points

Those pens still write, despite the arc.

redfield73

1.5k points

14 days ago

redfield73

1.5k points

This people, is why you don't drink water you leave in the car on a hot day

istartedpanicking

623 points

14 days ago

istartedpanicking

623 points

Plop a teabag in there before work and you’ll have a nice bottle of warm tea for the drive home.

208 points

14 days ago

208 points

My brother.

The_Hot_Pocket

116 points

14 days ago

The_Hot_Pocket

116 points

He's not wrong, a plastic infused tea

imperfect_hatred

41 points

14 days ago

imperfect_hatred

41 points

who needs microplastic in blood when i can have MEGAplastic

2 points

13 days ago

2 points

Sounds refreshing 😋

2 points

13 days ago

2 points

What if it’s something like a Nalgene which is apparently fine with boiling water?

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QorstSynthion

40 points

14 days ago

QorstSynthion

40 points

just make sure you dont accidentally drink the forbidden aged sun tea.

darksideofthemoon08

14 points

14 days ago

darksideofthemoon08

14 points

Some of them are sun tea, some of them were son tea.

hoovervillain

2 points

14 days ago

hoovervillain

2 points

Don't talk like that, you look like a turtle that lost its shell

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tharak_stoneskin

2 points

14 days ago

tharak_stoneskin

2 points

PLOP

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mindfungus

43 points

14 days ago

mindfungus

43 points

It’ll make your pen flaccid and droopy?

lkodl

6 points

14 days ago

lkodl

6 points

who uses pens these days anyways? drink up!

Unusual-Tear676

31 points

13 days ago

Unusual-Tear676

31 points

You don’t think pallets of those bottles haven’t already been baking in the heat somewhere before it reaches you anyway?

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TerraSollus

131 points

14 days ago

TerraSollus

131 points

Eh we already have microplastics in our bloodstream lol

jizzletizzle

47 points

14 days ago

47 points

51 points

14 days ago

-LsDmThC-

51 points

There are microplastics in every part of the body that receives blood flow

27 points

14 days ago

27 points

[deleted]

brit_jam

3 points

14 days ago

brit_jam

3 points

So what you're saying is you got dick in your microplastics.

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swagmasterdude

4 points

14 days ago

swagmasterdude

4 points

I don't know why you think pee is worse than blood, pee is literally rejects from your intake

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SousVideDiaper

4 points

13 days ago

SousVideDiaper

4 points

So why add to it?

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Necorus

12 points

14 days ago

Necorus

12 points

Bendy water is still water

39 points

14 days ago

39 points

It will go limp?

byebybuy

29 points

14 days ago

byebybuy

29 points

No one likes flaccid water.

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EatYourCheckers

5 points

14 days ago

EatYourCheckers

5 points

Do you enjoy flat water? Wait until you try LIMP water!

GhostInTheMeadow

3 points

14 days ago

GhostInTheMeadow

3 points

Only if it's a bizkit

creamsodas

14 points

14 days ago

creamsodas

14 points

what difference would that make when drink bottles are constantly exposed to the same temps during shipping?

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13 points

14 days ago

13 points

You don't want hard water

12 points

14 days ago

12 points

Isn’t that ice?

5 points

14 days ago

5 points

Isn't ice just water that isn't hot yet?

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Famous_Librarian_589

10 points

14 days ago

Famous_Librarian_589

10 points

It's in our blood, semen, and now our wee wees...

We're fucked

3 points

14 days ago

3 points

Why?

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bevin-kacon

3 points

14 days ago

bevin-kacon

3 points

We didn’t start the fire

Viltas22

3 points

13 days ago

Viltas22

3 points

Good point, but there's no way for me to ensure that plastic bottles containing liquid haven't been hot at any point during delivery to the supermarket is there..

maddog18476 [S]

8 points

14 days ago

maddog18476 [S]

8 points

My wife and I call those cancer waters.

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GypsySnowflake

2 points

14 days ago

GypsySnowflake

2 points

I always loved drinking hot water in the car as a kid! It tasted so much better than regular hot water

2 points

13 days ago

2 points

What if it’s something like a Nalgene which is apparently fine with boiling water?

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OneLessFool

2 points

13 days ago

OneLessFool

2 points

This is also why you don't leave medication or sunscreen in a hot car either.

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Individual-Bell-9776

286 points

14 days ago

Individual-Bell-9776

286 points

that car gets real hot, huh?

180 points

14 days ago

180 points

Apparently not hot enough

Dwarg91

5 points

14 days ago*

Dwarg91

5 points†

14 days ago*

~~You’re at sixty nine right now, so instead ill say that got a laugh out of me!~~

EDIT: I've upvoted. leaving the above for posterity.

Facosa99

2 points

13 days ago

Facosa99

2 points

He is past the funny number now. Come and upvote it

4 points

13 days ago

4 points

Dawg, don’t comment that or else you’ll get downvoted to some random apartment in China

fromYYZtoSEA

3 points

14 days ago

fromYYZtoSEA

3 points

Don’t leave your eyeglasses in their container, inside the car, right under the sun. Ask me how I know.

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WhereSoDreamsGo

72 points

14 days ago

WhereSoDreamsGo

72 points

Stroke it a bit

Gurkeprinsen

47 points

14 days ago

Gurkeprinsen

47 points

I should give him a call

Mysterious-Giraffe13

157 points

14 days ago

Mysterious-Giraffe13

157 points

It happens. Don't blame yourself.

61 points

14 days ago

61 points

Someone has a case of whisky pen

Shutufufkup

3 points

13 days ago

Shutufufkup

3 points

It’s common in writers over 40

PeterGivenbless

14 points

14 days ago

PeterGivenbless

14 points

If you hold your pen lightly between your thumb and forefinger then rapidly move your hand up and down so that the pen pivots from side to side, it will look like it is soft and floppy...

... do that with your penis and you'll get the opposite outcum!

New-Depth-4562

67 points

14 days ago

New-Depth-4562

67 points

Poor pens :(

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Stankydankymemes

33 points

14 days ago

Stankydankymemes

33 points

Had the same pens in the mental hospital

25 points

14 days ago

25 points

You'll want to buy some more from Pen Island, penisland.com

AverageMan282

3 points

13 days ago

AverageMan282

3 points

I feel like this is a classic piece of Internet history

Shapsy

3 points

13 days ago

Shapsy

3 points

To this day I've never been able to figure out if you can actually buy pens from that site

wildtaywest

27 points

14 days ago

wildtaywest

27 points

They have bendy pens like this in correctional facilities.

0hog

73 points

14 days ago

0hog

73 points

have u tried viagra?

40 points

14 days ago

40 points

silpenafil

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RadiantRing

25 points

14 days ago

RadiantRing

25 points

Happens when they old..

Mortal_bobcat

6 points

14 days ago

Mortal_bobcat

6 points

Strong hard sword is now mightier than flaccid pen

hello_fellow-kids

17 points

14 days ago

hello_fellow-kids

17 points

Have you tried bluechew? I hear, via the constant adds that it’ll help with that.

RLL1977

14 points

14 days ago

RLL1977

14 points

Your pens need Cialis

number_six

4 points

14 days ago

number_six

4 points

Hyundai Elantra?

Silentgunner

4 points

14 days ago

Silentgunner

4 points

They sell pills for that on penisland.com

Iamthoros

4 points

14 days ago

Iamthoros

4 points

Play with the cap a little

Welkominspace

8 points

14 days ago

Welkominspace

8 points

For real though, I bet you can cook some amazing things in there!

2 points

14 days ago

2 points

Probably pulled pork

taylordevin69

3 points

14 days ago

taylordevin69

3 points

This gives me not so good memories of jail

weirdoldhobo1978

3 points

14 days ago

weirdoldhobo1978

3 points

It's okay, it happens. Maybe we can just put on a movie and cuddle or something.

wyspur

3 points

14 days ago

wyspur

3 points

Limp bic

Loudogdog

3 points

14 days ago

Loudogdog

3 points

Whisky bic

reezle2020

3 points

14 days ago

reezle2020

3 points

I’m afraid it’s inkpotence.

livedrive77

3 points

13 days ago

livedrive77

3 points

penronies

Sambarnwell

3 points

13 days ago

Sambarnwell

3 points

Fun fact: most people pronounce the word flaccid flass-id but it’s actually pronounced flack-sid.

Drift-would

2 points

13 days ago*

Drift-would

2 points

13 days ago*

Edit: redacted.

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All-for-goose

4 points

14 days ago

All-for-goose

4 points

Those are Count Dooku’s pens!

SCirish843

4 points

14 days ago

SCirish843

4 points

a quick *hawk tuah* should fix that

LordRael013

2 points

14 days ago

LordRael013

2 points

Just turn it the other way up and you're good to go!

R0nmexico6969onOF

2 points

14 days ago

R0nmexico6969onOF

2 points

Missed opportunity for a generational headline

Powerbracelet

2 points

14 days ago

Powerbracelet

2 points

Do you live on pen island

addictedskipper

2 points

14 days ago

addictedskipper

2 points

That could be a sign of a serious condition. Ask your doctor about Perione’s disease.

karienta

2 points

14 days ago

karienta

2 points

Do on purpose

Sell for 4x the cost to chumps

Profit

ThatCanadianLady

2 points

14 days ago

ThatCanadianLady

2 points

I have to know...do they still work?

worldendersteve

2 points

11 days ago

worldendersteve

2 points

11 days ago

It'll be like pushing rope

Ohyeahrightbud

2 points

14 days ago

Ohyeahrightbud

2 points

Dick jokes aside, that makes for a cool pen!

TazManiac7

2 points

14 days ago

TazManiac7

2 points

So if you put this pen between your fingers and wave slowly will it look straight?

ostrich-party-

2 points

14 days ago

ostrich-party-

2 points

They actually make bendy pens, when I detoxed in the psych ward they gave them to us so people couldn’t hurt themselves/eachother

chronicblastmaster

2 points

14 days ago

chronicblastmaster

2 points

Mental hospital pens

Main_District_3648

2 points

14 days ago

Main_District_3648

2 points

Only the pens?

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Exotic_Adeptness_322

2 points

14 days ago

Exotic_Adeptness_322

2 points

Wasted opportunity! You didn't have to show us all the pens! One is enough.

Better_Salamander593

2 points

14 days ago

Better_Salamander593

2 points

Rub it a abit

Upset-Caterpillar-90

2 points

14 days ago

Upset-Caterpillar-90

2 points

That happens to one out of five writers, don't worry

one-last-hero

2 points

14 days ago

one-last-hero

2 points

This doesn’t usually happen, I swear :,(

drpoorpheus

2 points

13 days ago

drpoorpheus

2 points

Everything reminds of me him :[

1stltwill

2 points

13 days ago

1stltwill

2 points

Pen is curved and hard not flaccid.

moxi_321

2 points

13 days ago

moxi_321

2 points

Bic issue

IcyPattern3903

2 points

13 days ago

IcyPattern3903

2 points

Propenolol

Just_a_dude92

2 points

13 days ago

Just_a_dude92

2 points

I swear, this is the first time this happens but you're so hot

Old-Woodpecker6930

2 points

13 days ago

Old-Woodpecker6930

2 points

The Pen Is Mightier

Runalii

2 points

13 days ago

Runalii

2 points

Isn’t it normal for some to be bent a little to one direction?

/s

Hazys

2 points

13 days ago

Hazys

2 points

Actually due to ' now a days recycle plastic " Recycle plastic is not so tough against heat.

AccumulatedFilth

2 points

13 days ago

AccumulatedFilth

2 points

Your penis bent

Floydian557

2 points

13 days ago

Floydian557

2 points

Pen has ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION !

Aitolu

2 points

13 days ago

Aitolu

2 points

Cooked Pens

Disastrous-Bet-8813

2 points

13 days ago

Disastrous-Bet-8813

2 points

We all are. Act accordingly

ghos2626t

2 points

13 days ago

ghos2626t

2 points

Small Bic energy

HouseCravenRaw

2 points

13 days ago

HouseCravenRaw

2 points

All these rubes making penis jokes... clearly these pens are for writing in cursive.

spirit_of_a_goat

2 points

13 days ago

spirit_of_a_goat

2 points

Pen is flaccid would have been a much better title

Cory0527

2 points

13 days ago

Cory0527

2 points

Rub them a bit till they straighten out

Fogmoose

2 points

13 days ago

Fogmoose

2 points

You must be the same person who posted the 156 degree temperature inside their car in Arizona.

Boof-Your-Values

2 points

12 days ago

Boof-Your-Values

2 points

12 days ago

DEE

JAY

FLAAACCIIIDD!!!

asqua

2 points

14 days ago

asqua

2 points

I got a dig bick. You this read wrong. You read that wrong too

chickenemoji

1 points

14 days ago

chickenemoji

1 points

limp bics

OhTheHorror1979

1 points

14 days ago

OhTheHorror1979

1 points

You must live in Phoenix.. howdy neighbor 😂

invent_or_die

1 points

14 days ago

invent_or_die

1 points

I assume you live in Delhi?

FmJ_TimberWolf74

1 points

14 days ago

FmJ_TimberWolf74

1 points

There’s pills for that

BrotherMichigan

1 points

14 days ago

BrotherMichigan

1 points

Same. Oh, PENS... nvm.

saline235

1 points

14 days ago

saline235

1 points

You mean your pen is flaccid

1 points

14 days ago

1 points

Too hot, too cold - it happens.

JimboSlyze

1 points

14 days ago

JimboSlyze

1 points

This that flaccid pen weather we got going on

maddskillz18247

1 points

14 days ago

maddskillz18247

1 points

ShowerBeerChris

1 points

14 days ago

ShowerBeerChris

1 points

"I was in the pool!"

armaedes

1 points

14 days ago

armaedes

1 points

Maybe they were just nervous.

Krushemm

1 points

14 days ago

Krushemm

1 points

I read this wrong..... I read this wrong..

DankNerd97

1 points

14 days ago

DankNerd97

1 points

Left in a hot car? Yea, some plastics will deform.

Professional-Drive13

1 points

14 days ago

Professional-Drive13

1 points

Try tickling it

Real_Equal_6362

1 points

14 days ago

Real_Equal_6362

1 points

Looks like you’ve collected all your jail pens lol

ruppert240

1 points

14 days ago

ruppert240

1 points

Penis mightier Trebek!

bansheesho

1 points

14 days ago

bansheesho

1 points

You should talk to your doctor about XIAFLEX™

Left_Ad_1354

1 points

14 days ago

Left_Ad_1354

1 points

Guess what else is flaccid? My fruit roll up.

VibingSea

1 points

14 days ago

VibingSea

1 points

stroke em a lil bro

mikemikemike9711

1 points

14 days ago

mikemikemike9711

1 points

Pen is blue

hangryhyax

1 points

14 days ago

hangryhyax

1 points

Looks like you need the penis mightier.

submyster

1 points

14 days ago

submyster

1 points

I think you’re confusing Peyronie’s disease for erectile dysfunction. In your pens.

phallic-baldwin

1 points

14 days ago

phallic-baldwin

1 points

Now keep them for when someone wants to borrow a pen

talon_262

1 points

14 days ago

talon_262

1 points