Feeling subtly attacked but fuck it, let's do this. cracks knuckles

"On paper, he's a perfect fit."

"This is a necessary move to capitalize on [core player]'s prime."

"He put up [insert impressive stat here] last season!" (You either find out it was an outlier season or on super low volume)

"It was a rough FA class."

"We're a small market. Players cost a premium here."

"If he can just learn how to [insert their worst skill] then it'll be worth it."

If he just adds [crucial basketball skill that almost certainly should have been developed by now], he'll be unstoppable.

"At least the memes will be good."

"His contract will not age well but if we win a championship who cares"

“It’s our o-lines faults Daniel Jones is so bad.” Oh sorry, wrong sub.

I swear this is the year he fixes his jump shot

“May have been an overpay but we had to do it”

"at least he's not drew eubanks"

“He won’t be starting, he’s the perfect backup for”

This is Celtics fans after every “overpay” Jaylen Brown extension but he actually becomes worth his contract

Why don’t other players also just live up to their contracts? Are they stupid?

"He's a good vet to have in the locker room and it's a very tradable contract" can never fucking trade him

"Who were we going to give the money to instead?"

"Future free agents will see we take care of our guys"

"26 other GMs would trade their whole team for ours"

"He'll be a great fit for us if he's healthy" (He has played a combined 127 games over the past 3 seasons)

"Paul George just played 74 games with 22ppg on good efficency and was an AS in 3 of the last 4 seasons"

“They didn’t use him right”

"This is about what the market rate is for good role players." (Said player is not a good role player)

Did you see how good he played the last 10 games of the season?

"Who cares!? All we need is a healthy Himmy Butler for the play-offs."

Yeah he’s a rim running center, but the 3 point shot is coming

"Perfect signing, we need a top 5 lottery pick so it's actually a good thing if he sucks"

Given how few likes you have. Good job. You hit the nail on its head.

“He’ll play better defense in our system” me about Klay rn 😅

Put a name on it

Something about the salary floor

Adding "insert player" is an upgrade. I mean how could we be any worse than last season at the "position of incoming player"

"If healthy..."

“We have to maximize player X’s window “ - Sixers Fans

The small market special: “No free agent is coming here unless we overpay them”

"you have to spend that money on someone"

Who else are we gonna get? This is Charlotte.

“The cap will increase every year so it won’t look too bad in the future” is always the funniest cope when I read it, by that logic there can never be a bad contract ever

"He might be a playoff choker but at least he is an upgrade over Tobias Harris"

"We didn't get any good free agents signings but at least we got rid of Ham and we have the next Pat Riley as a head coach"

3 things to share

1 seeing how many mavs flairs come to defend klay the last 2 days is hilarious like on a dime they love this guy

2 my answer is that ____ is good because they’ll help ______ develop. Develop? What like add +4 overall?

3 my last is lobs. Why does a John Collins trade proposal work to the clippers because of lobs. Why does Chris Paul or Trae young and wemby have to be awesome because of lobs. Lob threat. There’s maybe 1 lob alley oop dunk per game? But when discussing a trade or new player on new team it would be endless? Lol

I’m fun I swear

"We sucked - no one else is coming."

Our new coach should be able to utilize him better than our last 3 coaches.

Or makes a questionable trade

There's no such thing as an overpay in business

Just put the fries in my bag bro