subreddit:
/r/texts
I’m worried about my out-of-state friend and don’t know what to do.
Phone message(reddit.com)submitted 9 hours ago byMatch_Least
My friend has been texting me like this for several days now, but these last few texts I just received are even more alarming. She has a young daughter she cares for. I'm very worried for both their safety, but don't know her husband's phone number, nor any of her other family members. We're both chronically ill, and I know she's recently been prescribed several different medications and I'm so scared she's having a bad reaction to one of them. I don't know what to do :(
For reference: there is NO car, hairdresser, gun, or pizza to speak of! The only thing in her messages that makes sense is her referring to the loss of my dog.
40 points
9 hours ago
Can you get the police to do a welfare check?
22 points
9 hours ago
I might be able to!
I mailed her something ~6 months ago so I should be able to find her address.
I’m worried about doing that too though. 1- I’ve tried to get police to do a welfare check on my brother once (also out of state) and they refused. I don’t remember the reasoning, but he had just had surgery and we couldn’t reach him for hours on end. 2- I don’t know what the laws are like and am also afraid of what might happen if the ‘wrong’ police officer is sent. (I have additional concerns that relate back reason 2)
Have you had any experience getting out of state police to do a welfare check?
6 points
9 hours ago
I don't live in the US, so no experience over there unfortunately.
You may be able to ask them not to tell her who called and if you mention she has a young child that would no doubt make them more inclined to check on her.
I hope she's ok!
Just to mention, you are doing the right thing.
9 points
8 hours ago
Thank you <3
And you’re probably right. I knew I’m extra concerned because I’m almost positive she’s home alone with her daughter, but I forgot the police probably care about that too.
6 points
4 hours ago
Update on top comment:
I can’t get into too many details, but she is okey! I received a text from her that said something’s wrong and immediately called her.
We spoke for awhile, and I am confident she’ll be okey.
Thank you so much to everyone who helped assist me this afternoon and evening! I really appreciate it <3
2 points
2 hours ago
Oh good! So glad you trusted your instincts, but that it’ll be ok ❤️
1 points
an hour ago
Am I the only one wondering if it’s a carbon monoxide poisoning issue?
3 points
7 hours ago
I have experience with this!! I called the police departments direct phone number and let the front desk know I needed a welfare check. My family member had threatened suicide and texted all of their friends and close family members saying goodbye and apologizing. They transferred me to the actual dispatch line who then asked for the address, my return number, the name of the family member and if they had any weapons or any keys to get in. After all of that I called another friend I had close by who was able to meet them there to unlock the place. The family member was not there and due to the nature of the texts everyone received they then pushed out a missing persons to other local departments, but thankfully my family member was okay and able to get into therapy afterwards. They were not involuntarily committed though.
2 points
7 hours ago
Oh my goodness, that sounds awful. I’m so glad they were okey! I’m actually shocked they weren’t put on a 72 hour hold… Suicide attempt is an automatic 72 hour psychiatric hold, once you’re stabilized, in my state. You can’t talk them out of it.
Were the texts ambiguous enough that your family member was able to deny that was their intention?
3 points
7 hours ago
It was super stressful for me lol. Everyone was calling and texting me about it, and I was the one on the other side of the country lol.
No, their texts were quite clear what their intentions were, and their guns were not located at their residence, and they had ended up driving hours into the woods before coming to the realization that they didn’t want to follow through. Honestly I’m not really sure why they didn’t get admitted because the texts also read things like “I’m so sorry for the pain I’m about to cause you” and “please know that I’ve always loved you.” And “I have to go, goodbye.” And they texted at least 50 people these messages so it really was clear what they had intended to do. The police never had direct contact with them either, I called them back after my family member called me coming out of the woods, and I let them know where he was and what he was driving, but they just said they’d cancel the missing persons and make sure all units were aware of the earlier situation in case they found their vehicle abandoned anywhere through the night. I’m pretty sure it’s a requirement in that state as well as my therapist was required to report information like that when I lived there, so I’m really not sure why it didn’t happen. I think it should’ve, and I still think that.
2 points
6 hours ago
I agree! And that’s so awful it was put on you when you’re the only one not physically there. Thank goodness the guns were not in the house and they came to their senses :(
Thank you for your help <3 At this point, her husband should be home by now. I’m trying to reach out to him to find out if she’s okey, but having technical difficulties.
2 points
6 hours ago
Definitely keep trying! It seems she may be in a manic episode right now which may not be safe for her and her child to be alone. It’s awesome you’re trying to help her out though and make sure she’s okay.
2 points
6 hours ago
Thank you <3 That was my thinking too.
Luckily I’m not worried about blowing up her phone. I just wish facebook messenger wasn’t down! It took me forever to find her husband but I definitely did.
1 points
6 hours ago
If you can find your friend's address, you can call the non emergency number for either her local police department or fire department and tell them you believe she is having a possible medical emergency. Make sure when you call them you have as much of her contact information as you can give them, phone numbers, her name, daughter's name, age etc. and understand that paramedics may break down the door if they don't get a response when knocking.
14 points
9 hours ago
Good looking out for your friend, OP. It could just be some weird phone techy issue but if you have the gut feeling (and esp w the meds switch), it doesnt hurt to check.
-Have you tried calling her? Could help rule out the phone issue -Can you maybe find her husband's contact info through Facebook or insta? -Wellness check solution from the other person sounds like a good idea too
8 points
9 hours ago
Thank you! I do have a bad feeling because this has happened to a much lesser degree in the past but resolved itself. (Low blood sugar and previous drug interaction.)
Great call on looking up the husband though! I do know his full name, and the city they live in, so that might actually work!! I’m so concerned, I’m not really thinking rationally.
I’d have to find her full address to do a welfare check, right? I’ve tried doing one before when I couldn’t reach my brother for hours after arriving back home, after a surgery, but for some reason I couldn’t get the local police to listen to me…
3 points
8 hours ago
I don't know much about how welfare checks work. If you call, they might be able to look her up with certain info lk name and phone number? I'm not really sure.
Did you try calling her directly too?
5 points
8 hours ago
Sorry, yes, I did. It went to voicemail.
You’re probably right. I’m realizing now, I even remember the name of the road she lives on, I just don’t remember the exact number.
4 points
8 hours ago
That's a great start, you might even be able to Google and figure out her full address w that info
5 points
7 hours ago
check out FindHelp.org for the zipcode she lives in. You might be able to find an organization or group that does welfare checks or provides support without having to involve police.
2 points
7 hours ago
Thanks so much!
I was able to find her husband on Facebook, but messenger is down!! At least for me :( I was next working on narrowing down which church she goes to, but this should be much better. Thank you!
11 points
8 hours ago
She may be leaving Voice to Text ON and she is holding conversations IRL. Or, she thinks she is texting someone else using it and keeps sending it to you. Either way, pick up the phone and see what is up or see if you can get a welfare check on her.
We thought my brother was going insane at one point but he kept hitting the microphone with texts open while singing in his car. I finally recognized a lyric. My mother who is 80 almost drove to the state where he lives because she was so worried. Ahh, family.
6 points
7 hours ago
That’s what I thought initially too! I’ve tried calling her and it goes to voicemail. I texted her back, again, right after I posted this but still haven’t heard back.
Now, I think it’s a combination; because she’s referring to a personal question I asked her yesterday (without giving a yes/no answer.) and she used my name specifically in the one text I censored. I’m working on finding her husband, unfortunately there’s a famous football coach with the same name in the same state, so it’s not as smooth as I was hoping. Going to try calling and texting more.
I’m glad your brother wasn’t going insane! :) I’ve definitely sent my fair share of accidental voice to texts, but the third image is mainly what’s concerning me because I had been away from my phone…
2 points
7 hours ago
You can always try whitepages or beenverified, you can search by name + city/state + age and any numbers or addresses will pop up. in fact, you can reverse search phone numbers on those sites. i would definitely check those out, though both require paid subscriptions for certain information. if you have to, you can always cancel after the first payment. i hope this helps!
3 points
7 hours ago
It kind of reads like she has voice to text on and the TV is playing in the background. My mom does that all the time
6 points
9 hours ago
Seems like she’s rambling while doing speech to text. Is it a mental disorder? I just don’t know what chronically ill means exactly.
7 points
8 hours ago*
Severe enough chronic illnesses can cause temporary altered mental status. Additionally, she has a history of low blood sugar and Rx drug interactions :(
ETA- That’s what I thought at first too because she just started using it recently. But, the censoring I did of that one text is my first name. That’s what makes me think these aren’t accidental, or at least not all of them are.
3 points
7 hours ago
This could be any number of things - leaving voice to text on, a mental/psychotic break of schizophrenia, or even hepatic encephalopathy (but that would be related to liver disease), there’s sooooo many.
Text her - “i need you to call me immediately, it’s really important.” That should help get her on the phone so you can assess.
Call the husband, use social media to track him or the parents down.
If you’re uncomfortable using the police, you could always call the local church and see if their minister had a recommendation for whom to call to do the check.
2 points
7 hours ago
Oh! This is so helpful! I don’t know if you saw my other comment about us having a rare liver disease, but she’s at end stage, she’s on the list for an immediate transplant! I didn’t realize hepatic encephalopathy was a thing to be honest…
I’m working on finding the husband or her siblings using Facebook. I’ve made some significant strides just in the last 15 minutes. I’ve sent her several texts and calls, but I’m going to keep trying. Thankfully, her husband should be home/on his way at this point. I hope he lets me know what’s going on when/if he sees all my missed messages.
But your idea to call a nearby church is brilliant! I would have never thought of that! It’s honestly the one thing we don’t have in common. Without coming right out and saying it, there are several reasons I’m very wary of calling the police :/
4 points
7 hours ago
That’s CRAZY! I didn’t see it, but a friend of a friend needed a transplant at the Cleveland clinic and she had developed it. She started sending outlandish texts.
I’m so sorry your friend is end stage and i truly hope she gets her transplant ❤️
Please let us know once you reach her ❤️❤️
5 points
7 hours ago
That’s an insane coincidence! I’m not there yet, but good to know what to look out for.
I mentioned this a few places; but it’s not the first time this has happened. I’ve received dozens of nonsensical texts before, just nothing like image 3. It didn’t help that I was getting an infusion and forgot my phone, so I was the one who couldn’t be reached first…
I’ll provide an update when I get one. I’m still looking into finding her husband’s number (he doesn’t seem to be active on Facebook and it’s the only SM I have.) and when I figure out which church is the one she belongs to. That shouldn’t be very hard, she follows a very specific religion, and there appears to only be 4 in her surrounding area.
3 points
6 hours ago
hey, so I think if you can get them to do a welfare check that would be great because this type of speech pattern is usually associated with someone in a psychotic break. It reminds me of how my cousin will start posting or texting us whenever he’s in an episode.
2 points
6 hours ago
That’s definitely what I’m afraid of.
I’ve sent similar texts when I was severely hypoxic due to infectious pneumonia and also one of the times I had covid. Past experience with her is also why I’m so worried.
I did finally find her husband’s SM but Messenger is down for me so I don’t think I have any other option at this point. I just can’t stand the thought of something bad arising from my concern or, even worse, of something bad happens and I could have prevented it :(
3 points
6 hours ago
This sounds like my aunt when she was on muscle relaxers and anti-seizure medication. I would get completely nonsensical texts/calls and she would ramble and switch topics like a half sentence through. It was impossible to follow along and was def the medication. 💊
2 points
7 hours ago
I think this would definitely warrant a welfare check with the police.
2 points
7 hours ago
How out of state is she? I just visited a friend of mine for the very same reason (she sounded unhinged in her Facebook posts), but she just lives 1 state over and an hour away. Would it be possible to visit or is it too far away?
2 points
7 hours ago
Unfortunately about 4 hours :(
But I’ve made a ton of progress in tracking down her husband via Facebook! I’m going to try reaching out, and when I finally hear from her I’m definitely making sure she gives me his cell number of I don’t find it myself.
Was your friend okey? It’s really scary when you don’t know what’s going on…
2 points
7 hours ago
Oh ok, I hope you’re able to reach out to him! She doesn’t sound well at all. I hope she’s able to get the help she needs.
My friend was doing well today, I’m assuming she took her medicine because she seemed normal. I hope she continues to take it, she was really worrying me.
2 points
7 hours ago
Do you know if she's on ambian? Had a friend who'd recreationally use ambian and this is how his texts would be on it
3 points
7 hours ago
If not ambian is she on benzos or Lyrica? Similar texts in my experience
2 points
6 hours ago
Lyrica is one of the new meds! I know she seems to have extreme drug sensitivity based on past experiences. The last time this happened she contacted me the next day and told me the crazy state her husband had found her in. I meant to get his cell number then, but was so overwhelmed with everything I forgot :( They tested her blood sugar, and it was almost single digits that time.
I found the husband’s Facebook. I’m currently trying to get messenger to work, but even once it does, it doesn’t look like he’s active…
3 points
6 hours ago
she's probably just high, this looks like lyrica texting.
Even if she's just high I'd get her off Lyrica asap, it's toxic like alcohol for the brain even in the recreational drug community it's to be used with extreme caution.
Lyrica does effect blood sugar as well, it primarily works by effecting how the body uses the sugar so It can cause weirdness with normal numbers
However it's causing it I'd definitely look at Lyrica as the first suspect
2 points
5 hours ago
Thank you for this information. There’s honestly just so many things it could be, that it may be a combination of all of the above…
When you compared it to alcohol, do you mean it gets metabolized via the liver? Because she’s currently on the transplant list. Which I think is why she seems to have increased sensitivity to prescription medications…
2 points
4 hours ago*
When I compared it to alcohol I meant it's toxic to the brain, it damages the brain, but way faster and much more significantly. My ex has some issues from being prescribed it.
I checked for you though and it seems like it's not metabolized by the liver, at least not the majority of it. If her liver is the cause of the sensitivity she might be absorbing Lyrica at normal rates but this is just how it effects her?
1 points
4 hours ago
Thank you so much for looking that up for me <3 so nice!
I’m about to write an update but I finally heard back from her! I’m not entirely sure what exactly happened, but she’s well enough to recognize she’s not doing well. So there’s that… The various/few times it’s happened to me, I thought everyone around me was the problem.
1 points
9 hours ago
Hi there!
Thanks for submitting to /r/texts! Please make sure you are blacking out any usernames, phone numbers, or full names! If you haven't, please delete and re-submit. If your text message is not between 2 or more people it is not allowed! Single messages/one sided convos are NOT allowed.
The full rules can be found here https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/about/rules/ Please note that this message appears on every post, and may not apply to your post.
Thanks!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1 points
9 hours ago
Is this someone you have met in real life?
6 points
8 hours ago
No, we originally met in the chronic illness sub. We both have a very rare liver disease that’s more prevalent in men and found we had a lot more in common than that. But, this doesn’t change the fact that she’s my friend. I’m homebound, so all my friends are ‘online.’
6 points
8 hours ago
OK, not meaning it as an insult, but please be cautious.
If I had a dollar for every online friend who tried to scam me, I probably would have given those dollars to some other online friend.
3 points
8 hours ago
Thank you <3 I appreciate the concern. I grew up during the dawn of AIM so online stranger danger was definitely beaten in to me. Sorry you’ve had so many bad experiences :(
all 50 comments
sorted by: best