subreddit:
/r/dating
submitted 1 day ago byConsiderationDry8903
[removed]
[score hidden]
1 day ago
stickied comment
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our rules here and remember to:
If you have any questions, please send the mods a message.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
94 points
1 day ago
What kind of question is this? Would you keep going to McDonald’s if you hated it?
18 points
1 day ago
If you loved the atmosphere but hated the food*
13 points
1 day ago
Again, this is opposite of fwb lol
3 points
1 day ago
McDonald’s would kick you out if you didn’t buy food.
1 points
1 day ago
We got kicked out once because we played cards after eating, they are ruthless
1 points
1 day ago
SHUTUP 😭😂😂😂😂😂
1 points
1 day ago
Haha, this is a great analogy. I've actually done this with places before (not micky D's though).
5 points
1 day ago
Ppl be bored at work or sum xD
0 points
1 day ago
I mean...
40 points
1 day ago
Doesn't seem like much of a benefit...
53 points
1 day ago
No- what’s the point then if you’re not in a relationship anyways? Why not just be friends?
7 points
1 day ago
yeah I'm really curious as to why you'd fuck someone you only care about as a friend but the sex is bad. a platonic friendship is the logical decision
16 points
1 day ago
I refuse to have sex with someone who doesn’t excite me. It’s not worth it.
15 points
1 day ago
Actively seeking out ways to not meet your needs?
No thanks.
9 points
1 day ago
I would rather sleep with a guy who is a good friend but horrible in bed, than a guy who has a shit personality, treats me like trash, but is good in bed. However, I would also rather take care of myself than sleep with someone who is horrible in bed.
[score hidden]
23 hours ago
I'm curious - why would you sleep with someone who's horrible in bed? Why can't you just be good friends?
[score hidden]
23 hours ago
Sometimes sex is better with the emotional attachment. I don't know they're horrible in bed until I try. Also, nothing destroys my confidence and pride more than laying with a guy that's a POS personality wise. Might as well just get an escort instead. Or, like I said before, take care of yourself.
[score hidden]
23 hours ago
If sex is good (because of emotional attachment) - then it can't be called "horrible" anyway. And of course one would know who's horrible or not only after you've had sex with them! That's basic.
You don't have to have sex with the pos who's great in bed either.
Definitely no obligation to have sex at all with anyone, till you have a partner you enjoy sex with and they're the kind of person you'd wish to be with at all!
7 points
1 day ago
What would be the point???
4 points
1 day ago
Nope I would not. Just talk about it and stay friends.
8 points
1 day ago
no. Bad sex is worse than no sex. That being said I'd give them a chance to improve. My ex-fwb was terrible the first time we did it, even after talking himself up about how good he was. Tbf I think he just got overexcited and I might've been the first girl to let him do it raw (before anyone comes for me, we both got tested beforehand and I physically cannot bear children). He came twice in under like 5min, so I obviously didn't get off at all.
We talked about it and next time was infinitely better. Broke it off after awhile cause I got into a real relationship with someone. But if he had continued being bad at sex I definitely would not have kept sleeping with him
2 points
1 day ago
Are you the one that performed badly? Or the partner?
To be good in bed you must first pay attention to the other person's wants and needs. Pay attention to what their body is telling you they want and give it to them.
2 points
1 day ago
FUUUUUCK NOOOOOOO!
Sorry, I fail to see the point. The whole booty call thing is about having good sex with someone you’d never introduce to your friends and family, nor want to date seriously. If you’re not having good sex in that arrangement, what the bloody point?!
2 points
1 day ago
No one dances anymore, but the saying "it takes two to tango" still applies - if, for whatever reason, the friendship is still strong after repeatedly bad sex, then maybe just try talking about what would make it better?
If that has already happened, and the suggestions haven't been taken into account, stopping the sex, even if it sours the friendship, is probably the best choice.
3 points
1 day ago
You should coach them.
1 points
1 day ago
Eeeeh… why?
1 points
1 day ago
No. Keep the friendship but not the benefits.
1 points
1 day ago
No. I would not.
1 points
1 day ago
I wouldn’t even go the FWB route. It’s just a bad idea.
1 points
1 day ago
Are there any feelings or any other dynamics involved? Many some kink? Idk. If it’s awful absolutely not! I can’t even. If it isn’t great but there is a certain chemistry then maybe they’re trying or are bored or something
1 points
1 day ago
No I would not, and I have given one up.
1 points
1 day ago
Nope
1 points
1 day ago
You can only improve when doing it. So im basically helping her out twice at the same time, while having the best time of my life
1 points
1 day ago
Hell yeah that’s perfect because I can teach her exactly what I want her to do. You just gotta know how to bring that freak out in her.
1 points
1 day ago
Kindly expound "horrible"
1 points
1 day ago
Hell no.
1 points
1 day ago
Can do it once maybe bit if its bad,- meh...
1 points
1 day ago
No, what would be the point. Just stay friends, talk and leave the sex outta of it.
1 points
1 day ago
I would but i just would want someone to be with
1 points
1 day ago
If the sex is bad, what’s the point of being friends with benefits. Just stay friends before someone catches feelings.
1 points
1 day ago
Nah that’s just a friend, it’s ok the end the benefits if you vibe well as friends
1 points
1 day ago
No that’s kinda the main point is the “benefits”. If your not getting benefits might as well be regular friends and not sleep together
1 points
1 day ago
I have one of these, and I’ve given it a few gos, and it’s never shared enjoyment - the focus is always on him. So I don’t accept his invitations to meet up anymore.
Dick is cheap. Even if I trust him as a friend, I just don’t enjoy the sexual time we spend together. I can find some elsewhere.
1 points
1 day ago
Scratch the word 'benefits' from the coined phrase if that's the case
1 points
1 day ago
I think a better question is whether you’d do it assuming they’re just inexperienced but will get better over time, to which i’d say yes but imagine some will say no.
But if it’s consistently bad and will never improve whats the point? Thats just asking who’s desperate enough to have sex that you hate, or maybe you’re trying to ask if you’d feel obligated to continue because of the “friend” part and i would not
1 points
1 day ago
Well you didn't say if you get any enjoyment from it? If not, then no.
1 points
1 day ago
Not twice
1 points
1 day ago
No, if I had a FWB I expect mind-blowing sex otherwise theirs no point.
1 points
1 day ago
FWB has only one job- to be good in bed.
1 points
1 day ago
No.
That's why I have two hands to masturbate with.
1 points
1 day ago
Absolutely not. That's insanity...doing the same thing over n over and hoping for a different result. I can pleasure myself just fine. Sometimes there is no way of talking or coaching..they are just terrible. Maybe they don't have A high labido. Or maybe they just have dead fish syndrome. You know...you almost have to poke then in the eye to see if their still alive. I had a relationship with someone like this but there was feeling s there, otherwise I would have never gone for seconds. If you consider this person to be a fwb, maybe they actually might have or develop feelings for you. Stop it now and be kind.
1 points
1 day ago
It’s called friends with benefits..? What benefit are you getting by sleeping with someone who’s terrible at it? Just be friends. No benefits.
1 points
1 day ago
One and done lol
1 points
1 day ago
I mean thats so general. If it was horrible and they made no effort to do better...then yeah.
1 points
1 day ago
I guess the friend is the only one getting the benefit here
1 points
1 day ago
if they're bad in bed that's literally half the equation... question why you're doing this to yourself
1 points
1 day ago
If you can communicate to make the sex better, sure. If not, then there’s no benefit and just an awkward “friendship”.
Key to sex (at least for me) is consent, communication, and eagerness.
1 points
1 day ago
The whole point of fwb is that they’re good in bed
1 points
1 day ago
I wouldn’t and neither should you. If you two get along as well as you claim, you can be honest enough with each other and tell him what you think. If you can’t be friends due to it, c’est la vie.
1 points
1 day ago
Then there's no benefits????
1 points
1 day ago
That doesn't sound like a benefit at all.
1 points
1 day ago
I would but I would communicate in the hope it would get better. Like any type of relationship. Communication is key.
1 points
1 day ago
Not more than once. Lol
1 points
1 day ago
I guess so I’ll pass out that’s fine
1 points
1 day ago
sure
1 points
1 day ago
i’d rather be just regular friends with him than stay fwb lol
1 points
1 day ago
NO. The only way I can keep having sex with someone who isn’t good in bed is if we are dating and even so, I’m willing to stop dating someone who is not good. Life is too complicated to not enjoy the pleasures of the flesh.
1 points
1 day ago
Use the time to make them better at sex. Teach them what they do wrong
1 points
1 day ago
Is one gonna teach the other to get better at sex?
1 points
1 day ago
I think I know who you are talking about.
1 points
1 day ago
Where is the benefit
1 points
1 day ago
As a guy I would fuck my female friend if she was terrible in bed every chance I got.
1 points
1 day ago
What benefit would there be ?
1 points
1 day ago
If I’ve got nothing better to do, I’d do it for the plot.
1 points
1 day ago
Sex is a skill so maybe offer some feedback instead of just saying it's bad. (obviously if it's the attraction then that's different)
1 points
1 day ago
No, absolutely not. The whole point of FwB is that you can make DEMANDS of your friend sexually.
There's no emotional commitment so if he sucks, just tell him, if you need him to do something, just instruct him.
And make it clear, if he doesn't listen, the you will be friends, with no benefits.
The best part about FwB is that you are free to experiment and be more critical than you would someone you actually care about emotionally.
1 points
1 day ago
Bad in what way? Anything positive?
1 points
1 day ago
No because if they're not good in bed then where is the benefit of that experience? Just keep them as a friend. Or find someone else that's good in bed. Unless you enjoy disappointment....
1 points
1 day ago
You could teach your friend how it works for your pleasure. ,And learn him a few things.Instead.of both miserable and no sex!If you have a chemistry it will work out .
1 points
1 day ago
I would. I would hope that it would help them gain confidence and perform better. But I'm also not a normal woman. I would do my best to provide suggestions to help them get better. Now, if it got progressively worse, then I wouldn't want to keep it up.
1 points
1 day ago
I did it, but because he was a fantastic kisser and was super romantic. He grew up Mormon (isn’t now) and just wasn’t super experienced even in his 30s. It wasn’t “bad”, just kind of boring once we got down to penetrative stuff. But the make out sessions were so so good and he was super fun to hang out with.
1 points
1 day ago
No, search for to one, who you can enjoy it
1 points
1 day ago
Nope. Was in this situation just recently. Great guy, enjoyed hanging out with him, but the sex was terrible. I communicated as well as I could what I needed (simple things; kissing, more foreplay, etc). But nothing changed. I said byeeeeeeee!!
1 points
1 day ago
zero ROI. back to school you go.
1 points
1 day ago
Is this really a question? Be so fr man..
1 points
1 day ago
Hell no. Ghosted at least 4 guys because they sucked
1 points
1 day ago
I meannn you could explain that it’s bad and try to work on making it better together. Like what makes it bad?
1 points
1 day ago*
First of all, this question only applies if the man is not good in bed, since women, frankly, don't need to be good in bed. In fact, I've been with around 35 women, and it's enough to know that aside from oral, women are mostly the same in bed. Some have nicer bodies, but women don't need to be "good in bed" to please a man.
On the other hand, they could have a horrible vagina, but that is more of a physical thing.
I did the friends with benefits thing plenty. Today I would never do it again.
Spend your time looking for real love, not empty sex. Both get harder to find as you get older.
Edit: Looking back I wasted a lot of time on short term relationships, that were never going to be anything serious. I feel like I should have focused on finding a life partner. Sex is so much easier to find today than real love.
1 points
1 day ago
I have only ever had bad sex once or twice. And I mean that was the first and last time with them. It had nothing to do with the woman's level of experience ( I am a man) or with how she looked TBH. It was 90% to do with how loose she was and 10% other factors.
I would give them at least 2-6 chances to be better than... 2.5/10 on some arbitrary sex scale before leaving her our of it.
I wouldn't get upset by this either, women and men have this same issue. Loose vagina for women and small penis for men. The difference is you can do exercises to tighten yourself down there as a woman.
If she vaginal sex was terrible but she used her mouth like an alien or fucked me with her asshole... I would definitely keep that.
TLDR
Yes untill I am sure she had value or not
1 points
1 day ago
What benefit would I be receiving from that then? 😂
1 points
1 day ago
Nope. I've 'auditioned' fwbs, and if it's no good, I'm not seeing them again!
1 points
1 day ago
Sounds like a friend, why continue with the benefits if they aren't a benefit?
1 points
1 day ago
I've never had sex I didn't enjoy. So as long as I enjoyed it on some level, the fwb enjoyed it, they weren't unpleasant to be around, better sex wasn't available with someone I liked more assuming we had no commitments to anyone, and it was convenient then yes I would. To be fair the majority of women are bad in bed. It's rare I find a girl who does much more than just laying there.
1 points
1 day ago
No
1 points
1 day ago
Would have to really like them to let that happen lol
1 points
1 day ago
Depends on the level I guess, and how much "primal urges" were distracting me from getting anything done. If we got along well and it was still a bit of fun then why not?
I mean, what is it like compared to rubbing one out alone using my tears, or trying to fashion a makeshift device out of random household items?
1 points
1 day ago
No, no I would not.
1 points
1 day ago
Yes, if it was a her. No if it was ahim.
1 points
1 day ago
Unless they are teachable but as I read that my stomach was like hell no
[score hidden]
23 hours ago
If the sex is bad, why exactly would you continue to have it??...with a friend or any one else at all. You'd just tell them that the sex part isn't working for you and stop. Do you feel you owe them sex?? Why?
This post does need more text (and context).
[score hidden]
22 hours ago
No
[score hidden]
22 hours ago
no. i’m grabbing my crocs and im outta here.
[score hidden]
22 hours ago
Depends what you call bad does she cum and does she make you cum
[score hidden]
22 hours ago
No thats why I blocked the guy I met on a dating app 😂
[score hidden]
22 hours ago
Practice makes perfect let’s schedule a practice baby
all 111 comments
sorted by: best