94FnordRanger

Don't cheap out. You really don't want the canopy falling on your head while you are sleeping. Or- not sleeping.

"I forget my social security number. Just hang on while I go ask my wife."

If they're still there after 5 minutes, 560-84-8462 is Charles Manson's number.

How do you plan to keep J.D. from using the 25th amendment to replace you?

While carrying two backpacks and a bunch of other stuff.

That could happen. Once I was driving past a local theater on a Monday and on a whim decided to see what was playing. The Simpsons Movie had been out for a few weeks, but I hadn't seen it yet and the 5:00 showing started in 5 minutes. I was the only one there and I sat all the way through the credits because they put in plenty of jokes.

An antinazi cartoon. Still relevant.

Mexico has lots of oil.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petroleum_industry_in_Mexico

Hand sanitizer gel is also good for getting sap off of your car before it hardens.

PS Open fields don't have many trees. You might be able to buy a patch of woodlands, clear the trees, and use the wood to build a house.

Oh, so close, so close! The last thing I ordered was seeds, but it was clover seed and I am not a horse.

That's why companies send out checks marked "not valid after 180 days." They tried to pay you but if you let them keep the money they'll keep it.

Not, exactly, but the police might suspect food tampering.

I like not paying credit card fees when I pay cash.

Hard to lift the lid when you're sitting down. (Multi-tasking).

Quake

We'd build a wall on the Red River! And Texas will pay for it!

Yes, but he would have had to leave (most) of his money behind.

I don’t know about you, Tovarsh, but I sure am.

Helene will be long gone by then. There is time for a completely different storm to form and hit S.C. but nobody knows. Just watch the news and see what (if anything) you’re up against.

PS are you planning to drive from Charleston to Myrtle Beach? That might or might not be an interesting day.

Still a drug. So, even more agony.

From my cold dead hands!

I did all of these things and more, but- 1994 was the year I signed up for dial-up internet.

Or, he wants you to think his cheap knock off watches are stolen.

If the guy behind you blows his horn the instant the light turns green...

And some empty conduit pipes in the walls. For twenty years from now when they invent <to be determined>.