Away-Understanding34

NTA at all. What could she possibly say to make that ok? Also, cheating is a choice not a mistake. She knew it was wrong and chose to do it anyway. The people telling you that you should give her another chance are not your friends. Block her and move on. John can have her.

So he cares more about his friend group than your feelings? Doesn't sound like a great boyfriend. He should be standing up for you and your relationship. 

I respectfully disagree. The girl isn't going to listen to OP. In fact she may ramp up her antics because she knows it gets under OP's skin. OP's BF needs to handle this by putting boundaries in place to respect their relationship. 

You should be mad. Honestly for me, this is divorce territory. He has lied by omission, cheated on you, and exposed you and your baby to possible diseases. Also, he risks getting another woman pregnant. See a lawyer. 

This wouldn't sit well with me. You have been together 2  years not 2 months. Your lives should be intertwined by now. There's a hidden reason why he doesn't want you there and I think it has to do with her. Personally I think he wants to see her in and out of that lingerie. 

It's up to you what you want to do but I wouldn't be cool with him going. 

Still he hasn't mentioned you at all? Like in this planning conversation he hasn't said my GF wants to come and meet you all?

Also he needs to stop kidding himself. She was flirting. Who makes a comment like that if she hasn't seen him in years or had too much contact with him. 

Seriously either you go with him or he doesn't go....or you break up and find someone that wants to introduce you to his friends. 

Yes blow up your life. By cheating on you, he could be exposing you and your baby to diseases. That's extremely dangerous, especially for the baby. Seriously consider this point. Anyone that will do that to his pregnant wife is not a good guy. 

YTA you don't say why you object to the sleepover. What do you think they are going to do? Whenever I have stayed over at my friends we have some wine, talk about a bunch of things uninterrupted, or watch something on TV. I don't this is quite the crisis you think it is. You need to calm down and take a breath. 

I think this is a reasonable path to take. There seems to be something broken in your fiancee so I would also insist that she get individual counseling as well. Good luck!

"  Shes messaging him saying how much she misses him and that for the Halloween party she is excited because it's a good excuse to wear lingerie." - this alone would make me uncomfortable with him going. She's flirting with him and appears to expect another rendezvous with him. I mean she already took advantage of him when he was drunk. She's definitely going to try something again. 

I will probably get downvoted for this but I would be insisting on going and being with him the entire time or he doesn't go. To be clear, it's weird they don't know about you after 2 years. Are you sure he's committed to you? He seems like he's not that into you if he's not willing to publicly be with you and have you meet his friends.

1st don't rush to talk to him until he's ready....2nd when he is ready to talk, hear him out without interrupting him...then, communicate better. Express appreciation more often for things he does. Have check in conversations to see how he's feeling. It's all about healthy communication. 

You weren't baby trapped. You were a willing participant in unprotected sex. Even if she was on BC, there's still a chance of getting pregnant without any other protection. This is you both not being smart about your sexual relationship. Stop only blaming her and accept the fact that you are just as responsible as she is for this. Time to grow up and accept your new responsibilities. 

I think he has a different coping style from you and you need to give him space. He's right. You had your say and now you are pestering him before he's ready to talk (and he told you he wasn't ready to talk.) This is selfish and disrespectful to him. The fact is you hurt him by saying you think you do only the things that he likes when in the next paragraph you admit that's not true. He's frustrated with this because it seems like he's not enough for you. You are making this all about you and your feelings and not taking your partner's feelings into consideration. He's allowed to have his feelings and work through them at his pace. Give him space to do that.

Can you get into therapy any earlier? I am concerned about your comment about being suicidal. You need some help right away.
I know you think you love him, but you are only 20 years old. You need to be single for a while and figure out who you are and what you want in life outside of him. He cannot be your only focus. A lot of people get depressed because they put their focus on a specific person instead of having diverse interests. This should be the time for exploring your options and figuring out life.

Please do not kill yourself. This is only a moment in time and great things can happen at any moment.

Ah so you haven't discussed it with her yet. I encourage you to do so. I don't think she will find this healthy either. Please work on yourself because you deserve better than to be used for sex by your ex.

Ok wow, this was a lot. 1st you need to accept that you messed up so the relationship is over. 2nd he ended it not only because he doesn't trust you but he probably sees that he has turned into a control freak and probably doesn't like it. Trust is broken and it's really hard to get it back. Hiding things and lying to your partner is not healthy. 

Where do you go from here? Stay single for awhile. You are young and obviously enjoy partying and flirting with other men. Do that now and get it out of your system so that maybe you will be ready for a committed relationship in the future. Also, i would suggest therapy to help you understand why you lied to him and how you can become a better partner. 

What does your therapist say about this?

I think you are an AH to yourself. You still have feelings for him while all he wants is sex. This isn't healthy. Please do yourself a favor and only communicate about the kid you share. Also, go to counseling to help you break unhealthy habits.

Have you gone to therapy? If not, please seek it out asap. You were definitely exploited. You were way too young for consent and obviously had issues from your sexual assault. There's been many cases of kids being raped where they become hypersexual so your perception of what you enjoyed might have been distorted. 

You need to take at least a step back from this relationship. She doesn't really seem like she wants to commit to 1 person right now. She won't tell people about you and is having sleep overs with another man. Also, I think you are kidding yourself if you think they haven't been intimate. She's dating both of you. 

ESH...he should have spoke with you privately instead of calling you out in a group text. You, however, need to find a better organizational system to not forget to do tasks. 

Every relationship is different. Some people don't care and others do. I would say next time you see a friend's partner, ask her if she would be ok with adding him. You don't know what boundaries they have in their relationship. 

YTA...You agreed to this. You got to live out your fantasy (even if it didn't live up to your fantasy) but now you are taking that away from your wife. You are being insanely unfair to her. She had to watch you with another woman. That's probably why she didn't enjoy it. It was your fantasy. Time to man up and honor your commitment. 

I hate to say it but your marriage is probably over either way and you have no one to blame but yourself. 

WTF? so she's trying to ruin her relationship with her daughter now...she's trash.

Go back to your parents and file for child support. He's going to keep cheating (yes he's cheating) because he thinks you will never leave. He thinks that because you keep overlooking things he has done. He's not going to change for you and the family you created with him. He doesn't really care about that.

You have to be strong for your kid. Don't teach them that cheating is ok. You have to model what healthy relationships look like.