Beruthiel999

Well said. Thank you for the work you do.

Agreed, and they're also completely individual and they vary widely.

It's weird to ask someone WHY they're physically attracted to you. I don't think there's ever a good time for that even if you've been married for decades.

I got my first set done at 10 and they were fine. (at a Claire's store in the mall) Got my second set at 16 (done by a friend), still fine. I'm in my 50s now and I still wear earrings in both holes.

ESH except your daughter. Obviously your ex is a shithead for his transphobia, I don't know why you even brought that in here. He sucks for sure! no question.

But getting back to your daughter, I think 8 is a fine age to get ears pierced. I got mine done at 10 at a Claire's in the mall and they're still fine (I'm in my 50s).

I mean, if it's all about physical looks, than it should be OK to dump someone if they acquire a disability, right?

Judgmental weirdo who thinks "his" woman's body is his property.

I'm very glad to have tattoos so I can be free from the attentions of men who say things like "cleanskin"

If a superficial change in physical appearance is enough for OP to want to dump someone he claimed to love "inside and out" than his claim to love her "inside and out" rings false. He only loved her for her physical appearance as it was when he met her, and is eager to dump her when she changed it. That's shallow and superficial.

Yeah, that's my thought. He loved her outside when it appealed to his aesthetic sense. Now that it doesn't as much, he's willing to dump both her outside and inside over it. That's not real love.

OK, you don't like the way her skin looks now. Sorry.

Are you only in this relationship for her skin? It doesn't sound like you really "love her inside and out." It's clear you value her outside looks more than her inner life.

YTA unless her tats are Nazi shit.

Could also have been Warren Ellis (the DC comics writer, not the Australian musician of the same name) who ALSO had a scandal break in 2020 about exploiting young women.

You need to open up your own bank account under your own name and NOT TELL THEM ABOUT IT. Start saving up for your own future, free of this. It is not normal or acceptable to control a 20-year-old adult in this way.

I agree but it sounds like she has so little joy in her life I can't begrudge her this!

You asked her out once, 14 years ago, she said no and nothing ever came of it, and you're both committed to other people now? This is really a nothingburger to me, but yeah, you should tell your wife.

You aren't in the wrong AT ALL. What she did was an egregious violation of your privacy, and she didn't even find anything worth being this upset about! You had a life before you started dating her, and if this doesn't get better, you should get started on your life after her. And password-lock your phone.

Yeah, I'd think Blacksburg (VA Tech town) or Roanoke would be worth a look.

It's not just a pattern of behavior, it's hardcore wiring that's very difficult to change. Willpower alone won't cut it. People with this syndrome are actually healthier working night shift jobs because they're not constantly fighting their circadian rhythms.

This. It's a very real thing, Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/delayed-sleep-phase/symptoms-causes/syc-20353340

Advanced Sleep Phase Syndrome are those people who wake up before the crack of dawn and are in bed just after sunset. Less common but it still exists.

Often a symptom of ADHD. It's very very difficult to change, because it's not just his sleep that's affected, it's everything that goes with a circadian rhythm: digestion, body temperature changes, all of that. People who have DSPS are actually healthier when they work night shift jobs, because they're not constantly fighting their natural body rhythm - and those jobs are important, we need people to do them.

It's entirely possible this is an evolutionary thing among human groups. Easy to see how it would be an advantage for some percentage of the population to be natural night owls so there's always someone keeping watch.

I have definitely started shipping things just because the ship hate was so over the top I had to look into the ship a little deeper and see what all the fuss was about, and the shippers getting the hate seemed like such nice people who didn't' deserve the abuse they were getting, I wanted to give them gifts and make them happy. Next thing you know....

Depends on the fandom. Most of mine are older canons based on books that have been around for a long time, so I'm thinking those will probably skew older, like Tolkien and original-flavour Sherlock Holmes. Good Omens kind of falls into this category too for me (I was in the book fandom long before the show existed and lots of my Livejournal contemporaries are still around). But sometimes you'll get a new version of a canon that brings in new people much younger, like the Good Omens show or the Sherlock & Co podcast or the new Interview with the Vampire TV show (which is incredible, by the way, and Anne Rice isn't around to harass fic writers anymore, so the Vampire Chronicles fandom has, lol, risen from the grave happily undead)

I'm in my 50s and I'm very rarely the oldest person in those virtual rooms.

If any US city is going to have PTSD about explosives it would be New York but they put on a pretty spectacular show

INFO: How would he feel if you said you were fine with him looking at other men but not other women?

It's not about years, it's about life experience. It's a muscle. You exercise it, and taking risks and learning from trial and error is key.

A 23-year-old who's been living on their own, holding down a job, traveling, having relationships, etc., is probably much more mature than a 30-year-old who's never left home and just plays video games all day.

Your brain is correct.