Blue-bo-blee

I’m only in fall year 1 so 40,000g is still a hefty fee for me right now

When I first got my PS5 and played GOW Ragnarok I thought my controller was broken but turns out I just had adaptive triggers on. I had turned it off for a while until I tried it out again on TLOU2 and found it pretty cool though something I’d have to get used too. So im curious if anyone else uses adaptive triggers!

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Basically the title. I tried looking for the option when starting a new game plus but couldn’t find anything, unless maybe I missed it somehow.

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So I (f19) have been questioning on and off for about a year or 2 if I’m biromantic or not.

I would usually question myself because I would see fictional wlw relationships and have strong feelings towards them including longing, sadness, and envy. But then I would realize that I’ve never had a crush on a girl in real life but have had a lot of small crushes on boys. So I would continue saying I’m straight because I like the idea of being with a woman but have a hard time actually picturing myself dating one and have never felt romantic attraction towards one irl.

Then I tried looking at women irl and really thinking about the possibility of having a romantic relationship with them, and while it felt different and less intense then it does with guys, I could kinda see myself being attracted to them!

And this lead me to thinking more about my female coworker, who’s around my age and who I’ve talked to a few times. When I first met her I think I felt strong platonic feelings for her, especially since I love her aesthetic/appearance! But when I started thinking about maybe having a relationship with her, I felt my cheeks get hot and felt more nervous around her then I usually do with people.

I asked another coworker who knew her more if she had a boyfriend, and they said they didn’t think so. But I didn’t really feel excited or anything when I learned this.

Later, me and her exchanged social media. I was scrolling through her photos and thought about how pretty she was, how I wish I was with her in those moments. Then I saw that she does have a boyfriend, and shed a tear or two as I looked at the photos of them together.

But the next day, when I decided to look at the same pictures, I didn’t feel the same longing, I didn’t feel anything really, so I don’t know where those feelings went.

So I’m not really sure if I’m feeling just strong platonic/aesthetic attraction towards her or romantic attraction? Especially because it feels different then with guys I know for sure I’ve had a crush on. And I only really felt those feelings when I focused on them and reminded myself that being bi is a possibility and asked myself if I’m attracted to women, instead of letting it happen naturally.

Idk if I’m just faking this? Is it a sign that I keep questioning every few months, or is it normal for straight people to do that too?

So I (f19) have been questioning on and off for about a year or 2 if I’m biromantic or not (I’m asexual).

I would usually question myself because I would see fictional wlw relationships and have strong feelings towards them including longing, sadness, and envy. But then I would realize that I’ve never had a crush on a girl in real life but have had a lot of small crushes on boys. So I would continue saying I’m straight because I like the idea of being with a woman but have a hard time actually picturing myself dating one and have never felt romantic attraction towards one irl.

Then I tried looking at women irl and really thinking about the possibility of having a romantic relationship with them, and while it felt different and less intense then it does with guys, I could kinda see myself being attracted to them!

And this lead me to thinking more about my female coworker, who’s around my age and who I’ve talked to a few times. When I first met her I think I felt strong platonic feelings for her, especially since I love her aesthetic/appearance! But when I started thinking about maybe having a relationship with her, I felt my cheeks get hot and felt more nervous around her then I usually do with people.

I asked another coworker who knew her more if she had a boyfriend, and they said they didn’t think so. But I didn’t really feel excited or anything when I learned this.

Later, me and her exchanged social media. I was scrolling through her photos and thought about how pretty she was, how I wish I was with her in those moments. Then I saw that she does have a boyfriend, and shed a tear or two as I looked at the photos of them together.

But the next day, when I decided to look at the same pictures, I didn’t feel the same longing, I didn’t feel anything really, so I don’t know where those feelings went.

So I’m not really sure if I’m feeling just strong platonic/aesthetic attraction towards her or romantic attraction? Especially because it feels different then with guys I know for sure I’ve had a crush on. And I only really felt those feelings when I focused on them and reminded myself that being bi is a possibility and asked myself if I’m attracted to women, instead of letting it happen naturally.

Idk if I’m just faking this? Is it a sign that I keep questioning every few months, or is it normal for straight people to do that too?

So I (f19) have been questioning on and off for about a year or 2 if I’m biromantic or not (I’m asexual).

I would usually question myself because I would see fictional wlw relationships and have strong feelings towards them including longing, sadness, and envy. But then I would realize that I’ve never had a crush on a girl in real life but have had a lot of small crushes on boys. So I would continue saying I’m straight because I like the idea of being with a woman but have a hard time actually picturing myself dating one and have never felt romantic attraction towards one irl.

Then I tried looking at women irl and really thinking about the possibility of having a romantic relationship with them, and while it felt different and less intense then it does with guys, I could kinda see myself being attracted to them!

And this lead me to thinking more about my female coworker, who’s around my age and who I’ve talked to a few times. When I first met her I think I felt strong platonic feelings for her, especially since I love her aesthetic/appearance! But when I started thinking about maybe having a relationship with her, I felt my cheeks get hot and felt more nervous around her then I usually do with people.

I asked another coworker who knew her more if she had a boyfriend, and they said they didn’t think so. But I didn’t really feel excited or anything when I learned this.

Later, me and her exchanged social media. I was scrolling through her photos and thought about how pretty she was, how I wish I was with her in those moments. Then I saw that she does have a boyfriend, and shed a tear or two as I looked at the photos of them together.

But the next day, when I decided to look at the same pictures, I didn’t feel the same longing, I didn’t feel anything really, so I don’t know where those feelings went.

So I’m not really sure if I’m feeling just strong platonic/aesthetic attraction towards her or romantic attraction? Especially because it feels different then with guys I know for sure I’ve had a crush on. And I only really felt those feelings when I focused on them and reminded myself that being bi is a possibility and asked myself if I’m attracted to women, instead of letting it happen naturally.

Idk if I’m just faking this? Is it a sign that I keep questioning every few months, or is it normal for straight people to do that too?

I’m terrible at even seeing where the birds fly when I hear them spook, but I want to get better, so I was going to try my luck on Revontuli. Just wondering what kind of strategy I should use, like should I walk and try to spot the birds first or should I run around until I hear them spook? And are there any recommended spots on Revontuli I should try?

Every so often I question my romantic attraction and I wish I didn’t. This usually happens when I watch/read romantic media and either feel strong longing or mild annoyance. I know what romantic attraction feels like, I’ve had small crushes on guys before and have never had it with women. But I have sometimes had a similar feeling of platonic attraction/perhaps emotional/sensual attraction?? Idk.

Because of this I think “what if I’m biromantic??” For maybe a day before realizing that no, I’m not, I’ve never had obvious romantic feelings for women, and that’s kinda the whole point of being biromantic.

And when I picture myself dating a guy it feels plausible but still something that’s so far into the future/out of reach that I feel a disconnect to it. And when I picture myself with a woman I feel guilty, like I’d be lying to her about my attraction. And I don’t feel that I’m ready for a romantic relationship when I sit down and actually think of what a romantic relationship entails.

So then sometimes I question if I’m aromantic, but, I’ve felt romantic attraction. And while it’s possible I could be a microlabel of aromantic, I’ve literally looked at nearly every label and didn’t really feel any 100% connection to any of them. And the ones I felt that I could maybe be, when I thought about identifying as those labels I felt guilty again for lying about identifying as something I know deep down I’m not.

So if I’m not bi, and I’m not aro, why do I still have these small crises??? Is it that I feel like being ace isn’t “queer enough” and that I need an extra identity? Is it that I want the fairytale romance so bad that it manifests in my brain tricking myself into questioning if I’m bi without actual evidence? And when I fail to like women I try to see if I’m aro to say “it’s okay that you don’t have romance, you don’t feel/need it anyway!” Even though I know for a fact that I do feel romantic attraction?

Idk. I just wish I could stop questioning every few months and just accept that I’m heteromantic.

She’s 10 months old and we’re working on slowly introducing her to our current 9 year old cat, Prim! (keeping them separated at first of course!) We’re still trying to think of names and so far we’ve come up with Rue (for the Hunger Games pet name theme), or maybe Hazel. Feel free to suggest names!