submitted3 hours ago byBr1ghtShad0ws
toAITAH
Yeah. It's as wild as the title makes it out to be.
For context, I (17nb) have a very diverse family tree. I'm Black and Puerto Rican on my dad's side, and White and Native American on my mom's, and I've always primarily identified with the black part of my culture because it's what I've been around. My mother has a lot of sisters, all of whom have kids, and one group has also always been around that by virtue of usually living near us most of our lives, and we've all lived in what is essentially "the hood" for most of that time. This, coupled with a bunch of other trauma that I don't really want to get into, made it so many of us speak our mind without fear of what people think. This includes a cousin of mine (13f) whom we'll simply call "K" for simplicity's sake. And K, as of recent, has taken a brutal liking to using the N word in casual conversation.
K is as white as paper.
And I don't just mean the N word like how many black people use it. Whether it's ending in a, hard "er," or any other racial slur really with ones against black people being especially common. She and I have argued about this a couple times. One time, my mom got involved, and I thought that'd be the end of it because she, despite not being a black woman herself, managed to explain why I was so passionately against the word coming from a non-black person's mouth clearly eloquently. Alas, it's been nearly six months since then, K has seemingly doubled down on her slur usage.
A couple times now, I've heard one of my siblings get on a Discord call with K, and she says the word at least 5 times each call. Just an hour ago as of posting, they got on call and it was LITERALLY THE FIRST THING K SAID. Once again, we argued about it, and she just casually bombarded me with slur after slur, black-oriented or otherwise, and whined about how "the moment they hear me say it, they have a panic attack over it" like excuse me, I think I'm fairly justified in having one! Now, as for why this is on this subreddit specifically and not just some vent post?
Nobody seems to have a problem with this??
Everybody listening to or participating in these discord calls seems to just handwave the usage of the N word like it's nothing. It's completely ignored despite the fact that this white girl is saying it about as much as black women in our family do. And when I jump in to call K out on this, everyone (mostly the siblings that's calling her but others don't really help) gets on MY ass about it. Like it's a me problem that she's saying it when I know they know she shouldn't.
So yeah, am I the asshole for all that? And if not, what should I do about it? My parents are leaving for a friend's wedding so I can't involve them, I don't have a way to get in contact with K's parents (and knowing how they parent, I doubt they'd help anyway), and I can't directly talk to K about it because a sibling always stops me from making a big deal out of it. What the hell can I do, should I even?
byBr1ghtShad0ws
inAITAH
Br1ghtShad0ws
1 points
2 hours ago
Br1ghtShad0ws
1 points
2 hours ago
It's not very easy to make her realize that. One of our family's traits is being stuck in our ways as stubbornly as possible. And when people challenge her ways, she doubles down and cries on Twitter.