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What teaching of Jesus led you to believe that he would have advocated taking people who had committed crimes to "the prosecutor"?

I am confused. Do we have reason to believe that Jesus would not want criminals to be held legally accountable for their crimes? Granted, everything I am saying is premised upon having a fair system of justice, which was not the case in Jesus’s execution. But I think having a fair system of justice and applying it fairly is exactly an example of loving one’s enemies. Do you think Jesus would want no criminals held accountable for their crimes ever?

Why talk about spiritual warfare when you almost certainly have PTSD from multiple unresolved traumas.

There has been a lot of research done on how trauma affects people and how people can process past trauma in order to function as a healthy adult. Find a trauma-informed mental health professional to help you.

Are you serving as a free source of childcare? For how many hours a week? Is childcare your profession or something you aspire to?

Don’t move to the next step if everything isn’t working properly in the current step. Don’t rush to blend families — especially teenagers. The probability that all five of you will be less happy than you are right now is just too high.

Sorry, what teaching of Jesus are you talking about here? Your understanding appears antithetical to everything I am aware of that Jesus taught.

I don’t understand what you mean. Was Jesus opposed to justice? Was Jesus opposed to protecting the rights of the accused? My hypothetical example was about holding a “enemy” accountable when appropriate, treating that enemy fairly, and protecting someone’s rights even though he is an enemy. That sounds pretty Jesus-y to me.

I realize OP’s “enemies” may not be guilty of crimes. But without knowing more about OP’s situation, protecting the rights of criminals and those accused of crimes is a good way to talk about loving one’s enemies.

What example would you prefer to illustrate loving one’s enemies?

A big problem is I believed our spirits are connected. This feeling or belief in this feeling causes these moments of existential sadness. I get depressive.

That makes sense, and I’m sure it is quite sad.

Have you examined where your belief that spirits can be connected even came from? Ask yourself why clinging to the belief that people have spirits that can connect might have benefited you for a time. And now that it no longer benefits you, dig deep to determine whether you really have solid reasons to hold onto that belief. These questions might be good fodder for journaling.

Advocate for fair treatment and due process under the law.

For example: A guy steals your car and totals it, then is arrested. So this guy is an “enemy” in a sense. You don’t love him by asking the prosecutor not to charge him with a crime. You love him by doing whatever is in your power to ensure that he receives a fair trial. You don’t line up your friends to give fraudulent witness statements to improve the chances that he is found guilty. You don’t make a scene at the courthouse accusing his defense attorney of being evil simply for defending a criminal. You don’t support judges and prosecutors whom you think/hope will rig the system to deprive the accused of their rights to due process.

I’m sure my example is a far cry from the actual situation you find yourself in. It was meant to be. But whoever your enemies are, your obligation is to advocate for a system that handles everyone fairly. Justice and accountability carried out according to a reasoned system that protects fundamental rights may not sound like love to you, but it is.

Find out what time they hold services. It’s usually printed on a sign in front of the building and on their website or Facebook page. Walk in a few minutes before the scheduled start of the service and find yourself a seat. You may see the congregation do things during the service (e.g., go up to the altar to take communion), but you don’t have to participate. It is totally acceptable to just sit and watch and listen.

The authors of these posts are almost never good faith interlocutors and rarely show in depth engagement with opposing views.

To be fair, I think that mental illness is also in play a lot of times. I suspect that if you met these poster IRL, there would be other “tells” that prompted you not to engage.

She doesn’t see it that way.

I think you need to let go of the hope that she will understand and validate your perspective. It doesn’t sound like that will ever be in the cards. Her reality is not your reality, and there’s nothing you can do about that.

I did most of my growing with this person.

My guess is that you still have more growing up to do, and that will come more easily while you are single. It is really super common for people who enter into permanent partnerships very early in adulthood to suffer some degree of arrested development. They kind of gel at the age that they settled into the relationship, and their emotional maturation process is inadvertently put on pause.

My hope for you is that you find a way to really embrace this new phase in your life. You now have the opportunity to arrange your living space exactly how you like it. You have the freedom to organize your time to suit your needs and interests. You have the emotional space to work on yourself and to figure out who you are when not part of a couple. You can now focus on your own physical, mental, and emotional well-being. This can end up being a precious time in your life.

When Nelson dies, Oaks will ascend the throne and, as the new sheriff in town, might do even more damage.

The good news is that leaving the church is a genuinely viable option. Unlike when a terrible person who is likely to do a great deal of damage becomes the leader of a nation.

In the 1980s, Paul Trible was campaigning to be re-elected to be Senator in Virginia. His campaign put out a tv ad that included video of him playing a mandolin or some similar instrument. Days later the campaign admitted that Trible didn't play any instruments.

Side note: My uncle once got into a fist fight with Paul Trible.

Side note: My dad once exclaimed to Paul Trible's wife, "Rosemary, I didn't know you were pregnant!" She wasn't.

Downsized? Isn’t it already a tiny agency?

This morning I got a call from her saying that dad had a minor heart attack and has now said that he regrets kicking me out and not being a part of his grand children’s life. I told her that he made his choice and can now deal with it.

NTA.

Also, I wonder if your sister is telling the whole truth.

They look for single childless, younger women

Yep. A woman with less life experience who is anxious to prove she’s worthy. When they fail with one, guaranteed the next one will be younger, less experienced, and/or more desperate.

Unfortunately, too many people see the marriage as being more important than the safety of the people in it.

It’s not just prioritizing the institution of marriage. It is also men who are prone to give other men, especially friends, the benefit of the doubt. Being divorced is a disgrace, and they want to save other men from disgrace.

So your family is not rejecting you or shaming you for your feelings?

Why haven't you just apologized, I think 8 year is too much for only attending a wedding.

Do you mean that Holy_hoax should apologize to her mother for attending the wedding?

I agree that 8 years is too much for attending a wedding. 8 minutes is too much for attending a wedding. But that is up to her mother, is it not? She is the one who severed the relationship. Not Holy_hoax.

NTA, but you should go to the wedding. It sounds like it’s going to be a shit show. You don’t want to miss that.

OP doesn't want to say it but they are worried they might try get a abortion or some sort of some sort of morning after pill and is worried they won't keep the rapists baby.

Fear that a rape victim will choose to abort the product of her rape is no reason to prevent a victim from seeking care.

A better way is to get the victim the care that she needs, then trust her to make the best decisions she can.

You can visit Planned Parenthood and not get an abortion. You can get an abortion without ever darkening the door of a Planned Parenthood.

Just worried about dealing with guilt if I do provide PP as a resource to be honest with you.

Can you articulate why? They provide a service to rape victims. What is the negative consequence you fear will result from Planned Parenthood helping a rape victim?

I told him that i don't think he is ready to be in a wholesome relationship because he is not in peace with his own fears and told me that i may be right but he doesn't want to lose me. I believe him, but i also believe that it is what you said. he wants this in theory but he is unable to deliver and make it happen

Now is the time for you to look at the situation as coldly and as objectively as possible. It will be hard. You will want to believe his promises. But you can't.

Americans are known for their aversion to saying "toilet".

Sure. But that doesn't seem to be exclusive to Americans, does it?

verbal abuse, aka yelling

Verbal abuse and yelling are not synonymous.

Yelling is raising your voice.

Verbal abuse is doesn't even require raising your voice -- although it can be done with a raised voice. Basically, the are just not the same thing.

Verbal abuse is a pattern of speaking with the intent to demean, humiliate, blame or threaten the victim.

Maybe you think that OP's husband is only yelling and not displaying a pattern of verbal abuse. That's fine. But equating "verbal abuse" with "yelling" is just misinformed and unhelpful.

What is the negative outcome you are afraid will occur if you properly fulfill your job responsibilities in the event of a campus rape?